


dancing in the dark

by gossipgays



Series: dancing in the dark [1]
Category: Scream (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Legal Drama, Minor Violence, also these girls are Not Well so be prepared to get into that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2018-09-11 12:41:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 111,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8980162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gossipgays/pseuds/gossipgays
Summary: [3:40] Scream Queen: any of you awake??

  [3:41] Survivor Girl: yes? What’s up

  [3:42] Bi-curious: i haven’t slept in a year. so yes

  [3:43] Scream Queen: well i’m at the park on 5th and i have a handle of blue label whiskey

  [3:43] Scream Queen: lucky for u i feel like sharing
In which Emma is a vegetarian, Brooke hates winter, and Audrey punches her therapist, and they all heal together. Canon-divergent after s2e12.





	1. somebody save your soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> co-written. this is our love letter to both the hurt-comfort genre, and the ladies of scream and their queer fans, all of whom deserve better.
> 
> #give the gays everything they deserve 2016
> 
> rated e for future chapters. we'd also like to thank our wonderful betas [explosionshark](http://explosionshark.tumblr.com/) and [seekingoutfriday](http://seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com/) on tumblr dot com for agreeing to read through this monster, you guys are the best!

The sudden brightness of Audrey’s phone screen lit up her bedroom much better than the dim streetlamp outside. She elected to ignore it in favor of the ceiling. Maybe, tonight, it would have the answers to life, the universe, and everything. (42 hadn’t worked for her yet. Screw you, Douglas Adams.)

The screen darkened for just a second before lighting up again.

She should sleep. She really, really should sleep.

Audrey squeezed her eyes shut and rolled over to face the wall away from her phone, holding her breath like it might somehow turn her brain off. Only a beat or two passed before she released the air in her lungs and groaned, resigned to the inevitability of yet another sleepless night. She rolled over again and reached for her iPhone where the time was helpfully displayed above Brooke’s last text.

_[3:40] Scream Queen: any of you awake??_

_[3:41] Survivor Girl: yes? What’s up_

_[3:42] Bi-curious: i haven’t slept in a year. so yes_

_[3:43] Scream Queen: well i’m at the park on 5th and i have a handle of blue label whiskey_

_[3:43] Scream Queen: lucky for u i feel like sharing_

Audrey stared at the ceiling. On the one hand, whiskey.  But on the other... Brooke and Emma were her best friends aside from Noah, there was no doubt about it. That didn’t really change the fact that she felt completely exposed whenever she was around the both of them at the same time, and alcohol could only make that feeling worse.

… Fuck it.

_[3:45] Bi-curious: on my way_

_[3:45] Survivor Girl: guys it’s 4 in the morning_

_[3:48] Survivor Girl: guys???_

_[3:55] Survivor Girl: i’m stopping by 7-eleven for chocolate does anyone else want something_

 

* * *

 

“So, how is _your_ parental-mandated therapy going?” Brooke daintily dabbed at her mouth with the back of her hand as she pulled the whiskey bottle away from her lips. Audrey didn’t know how she still managed to look like she was fresh out of finishing school even when she was getting drunk.

“I mean,” Emma started, staring at a bag of assorted candy bars in her lap. “My therapist is nice and all, but she doesn’t really get it, you know? And it's not like I'm all that eager to talk about any of it, anyway.”

There was a beat of silence while Brooke handed off the whiskey to Audrey, who was currently lounging across the blanket Emma packed so they'd have a place to sit. “I punched mine.”

Emma looked scandalized. Brooke looked impressed.

 _“Audrey!”_ came Emma’s sharp rebuke.

“What?” she smirked, glancing between Brooke and Emma without a trace of remorse. “He said I wasn’t _‘fully expressing my emotions to him’_ or whatever, so I thought I’d make myself a little clearer.”

Emma sent Audrey a disapproving look. Even after everything the three of them had been through, she still managed to stake her claim on being ‘the mom friend.’ “You know, if you don’t like your therapist, you could just ask for a new one.”

“Well I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to see me anymore, soooo....” Audrey shrugged, smugly taking a swig from the bottle in her hands. “Besides, I’m not really sure how I feel about someone getting a free pass to dig around in my head just because they have a piece of paper that says they can.”

“It sounds to me like he deserved a little _Million Dollar Baby_ ,” Brooke chimed in, reaching for one of the candy bars in Emma’s lap.

“Oh, he absolutely deserved it,” Audrey insisted, passing the bottle off to Emma. “The guy was so smug from day one, like he knew the source of all my problems and ninety-nine percent of it was my fault.” So maybe that last part wasn’t _completely_ inaccurate, but that didn’t mean the constant reminder was helpful.

Emma huffed a small sigh, resigned as she accepted the offered bottle of whiskey. Audrey could see she knew she wasn’t going to win this one, especially since therapy was a total joke at this point. Maybe someday they’d actually be able to get past some of this stuff—and that was a _big_ maybe—but right now all they could really do was try get by the best they could. And if four a.m. drinking sessions in the park was currently their best coping strategy, who were any of them to complain? At least they had each other.

“It is kind of crappy how they all just expect us to spill everything on command,” Emma admitted, shrugging. The sip she took from the bottle in her hand was small and she passed the bottle to Audrey again quickly after. She pushed the bag of chocolate to the center of the blanket so she she could pull her knees up to her chest, her chin set atop her crossed arms and a small frown on her lips. She stared at the pile of candy in front of them but her eyes weren’t focused, drawing away from Brooke and Audrey. “Like we’re expected to just be able to trust anyone now.”

Audrey shot Brooke a concerned look before sitting up, reaching for her shoulder. “Hey,” she urged, trying to pull her back. They’d all seen their fair share of traumatizing bullshit in the last year, but there was no question that Emma had seen the worst of it. Sometimes Audrey wondered how she was still standing. “Hey, you don’t have to do anything. And you’re not alone.”

“Yeah,” Brooke agreed, immediately on Emma’s other side. She placed a hand on Emma’s leg, squeezing it gently. “You have us, and we’re not going anywhere. Ever.”

“Yeah, so fuck therapists,” Audrey chimed in again, smirking.

Emma rolled her eyes, but she was smiling anyway. “That doesn’t seem very healthy.”

Brooke shook her head, ever pragmatic in her own way. “Emma, no one expects you to just be able to hop out of bed one morning and be totally cool. You're not a robot. None of us are. We’ve all got our own ways of dealing, it’s okay.”

Audrey shrugged, nodding. She probably wasn’t the perfect picture of mental health, but she still wanted to help. “Yeah, I mean. Even if therapy isn’t really working for me right now, that doesn’t mean it never will, I guess. And in the meantime, kickboxing is _very_ therapeutic.”

Emma gave them both a small smile. “You just like punching things.”

“Hey, don’t knock it until you try it,” Audrey grinned. She wasn’t sure how much she actually believed in all of this therapy stuff, but she couldn’t stand to watch Emma slip away like that either.

Silence settled between the three of them, interrupted only by the sound of Brooke screwing the cap back onto her bottle of whiskey and stowing it in her purse.

“I’ve been going to the shooting range,” Emma announced, finally breaking the silence. She wasn’t looking at either of her friends. “I don’t know how much it really helps but I just keep thinking… If I hadn’t missed in the movie theater then Eli would still be alive.”

“Emma, it’s _not_ your fault,” Brooke told her firmly, brows furrowed. “You know that, right?”

Emma looked away from them, reaching up to wipe at her eyes before her tears could actually start falling on her cheeks. “No, I know. I just can’t stop thinking that I could have done more.”

“You saved my life,” Audrey added, quiet. She looked to Brooke again. “You’ve saved both of us at one point or another. Maybe there was more we all could have done, but we’re all _here_. We made it.”

Brooke moved closer, on her knees so she could wrap her arms around Emma’s shoulders, pulling Audrey in the best she could as well.

They stayed like that for a while, until Emma sniffled and pulled away, wiping at her eyes again. “Thank you, guys,” she said, turning to embrace them each individually. “I should probably head back before my mom wakes up, but we should do this again the next time none of us can sleep.”

“So tomorrow then?” Brooke quipped.

Emma laughed, shaking her head as she stood. “Soon, anyway.”

Brooke and Audrey both stood as well, each gathering their things as Emma folded up her blanket.

“Hey thanks for the party, guys,” Brooke smiled, reaching to squeeze Emma’s elbow again. “Audrey, would you mind driving home? I think I drank enough that I probably shouldn’t be behind the wheel.”

“Oh, sure,” Audrey nodded, hands in her back pockets. “We can take your car? I’d offer mine, but I know how much you love riding in _Puff the Tragic Wagon.”_

“No that's okay, you can drive mine,” Brooke insisted, her lip curling in distaste. She dug into her purse for her keys. She dangled them in front of Audrey once she’d found them. “I'll bring you back to pick up yours tomorrow. It's not like anyone’s gonna steal it.”

“Cool,” Audrey nodded, taking the keys to Brooke’s very nice, very expensive Range Rover. “We’ll see you again tomorrow, Em?”

“Yeah, we can get lunch or something,” she agreed, starting toward her own car with the blanket under her arm. “Drive safe, okay?”

“Hey, you too,” Brooke called after her. “Text one of us when you get home.”

Audrey took a deep breath, fiddling with the keys in her hand.

“Shall we?” asked Brooke, turning to Audrey with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

 

* * *

 

Of all the things to have in common with Brooke Maddox, sex with girls was probably the last thing Audrey expected. Yet here she was, barely inside the house before Brooke already had her pressed against the nearest wall, hands sneaking under her shirt.

“Shouldn’t–” Audrey gasped, hardly putting up a fight. Instead, she had her own hands threaded through Brooke's long blonde hair. She could feel Brooke’s lips pressed to the pulse point on her neck, which was hardly helping with her aptitude for putting words together in a coherent sentence. “Shouldn't we wait to make sure Emma made it home?”

As if on cue, Audrey felt the buzz of her phone coming from her back pocket. Brooke smirked and reached around to pull it out, holding it up to show Emma’s text.

_[5:02] Survivor Girl: home now, gonna try to sleep some before my mom wakes up. You and Brooke home safe?_

Audrey ruefully took her phone back so she could reply, trying to ignore the chills that ran up her back when Brooke’s hands returned to their previous spot on her skin.

_[5:03] Bi-curious: yeah all good I'm probably gonna crash for a bit at brookes so she can sleep off the whiskey. Text me when u wake up and we’ll make lunch happen_

“There, see?” Brooke murmured. Audrey could feel her breath against her cheek and it sent another chill up her spine. “Everyone's good.”

“You know she's gonna start getting suspicious if we're not careful,” Audrey reminded her, barely getting the chance to slip her phone back into her pocket before Brooke was tugging her toward the stairs.

“Please,” Brooke scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I think Emma’s got other things on her mind right now. She wouldn't suspect a thing even if she walked in on us ten minutes from now. Y’know, after I’ve got you out of those ripped jeans of yours.”

Audrey flushed red, even though she should probably be a lot more used to comments like that when she and Brooke were alone.

The first time they'd shared a bed hadn't been the first time they had sex, though that followed not too terribly long after. Brooke had called Audrey one night because she couldn't sleep and her house was too empty since she and Stavo had decided to end… whatever it was they'd been doing. Audrey wasn't exactly sleeping all that soundly at the time either, so it wasn't like it was hard to agree.

Barely two weeks later Audrey found out just how easy it was to say yes to Brooke Maddox. Truthfully, she'd always kind of wondered how it was that Brooke seemed to wrap people around her finger so easily, but once she found herself underneath Brooke while she was wearing little more than a come-hither stare, it all made much more sense. It was like she had some kind of superpower, honestly.

Even now, as Brooke was pulling her into the vast bedroom and pushing her against the big down comforter on her bed, Audrey couldn't help but be a little amazed at the current arrangement she’d found herself in. She knew that Brooke had a tendency to cope through sex, she just never thought she’d find herself in the crosshairs. She’d asked about it once, if Brooke had always been into girls, or if it was a new thing. The best answer she’d gotten at the time was smirk and a nonchalant comment about how Audrey was hardly her first. Audrey was willing to buy that, considering how experienced Brooke had seemed that first night.

(She still wasn't sure how many times she'd actually came by the time they'd finished.)

But that wasn't important. What was important right now was that Brooke was currently straddling her hips and making quick work of their clothing. That was definitely much more pressing.

“Hey, earth to Jensen,” Brooke said, cocking her head to one side. “You still with me or am I gonna have to do all the work around here?”

Audrey shook her head, snapping to attention. “Sorry, I'm here. Sorry,” she insisted, looking up to catch Brooke’s eyes. She reached to thread her fingers through Brooke’s hair again, pushing her bangs from her face and leaning to capture her lips with her own. She kissed her slowly, savoring the taste of her tongue before finally pulling back only a little. “I was just thinking.”

Brooke smiled, nudging the tip of her nose against Audrey’s. “I thought we’d already finished the talking portion of therapy tonight.”

“Is that what we’re calling this?”

“Do you have a better idea?” Brooke asked, slowly tugging Audrey’s black t-shirt over her head.

She lifted her arms to help, smiling as the shirt came over her head. She bit her lip, nudging her nose to Brooke’s again. “Oh, I have lots of good ideas. _Great_ ideas.”

Brooke's face split into a grin. “Then I think you should shut up and show me.”

Audrey matched her grin and pressed forward to kiss her again, tugging at the rest of her clothes. She was definitely ready to stop thinking.

Yeah, sex with Brooke was never something she expected, but she wasn't about to start questioning it now. Not when she had her face buried in the crook of Brooke’s neck and the taste of her skin on her tongue.

Later on, when Brooke was settled against her chest and her arms were wrapped around her middle, Audrey heard a small sigh coming from somewhere just below her chin. “You know, I almost think the talking helped more than the sex, tonight.”

Audrey couldn’t see her, but she could hear the smile on her lips. “You think so?” she asked, an eyebrow raised. She slowly swirled her fingertips along the small of Brooke’s back, smiling when she felt Brooke shiver.

“No,” Brooke replied, kissing just under the corner of her jaw. “But it was still nice.”

 

* * *

 

Audrey stared at the bronze plaque the city had erected at George Washington High School. It was a small, stone platform with a seal in the middle, along with a list of all the names of the students that had been killed in the last year. All of their friends. Audrey felt like she was going to throw up.

Brooke stepped up beside her, arms crossed over her impeccable dress. Leave it to Brooke to show up at a memorial looking like she was expecting a red carpet. She reached up to remove her sunglasses, slipping them into her handbag. “Someone should tell Lakewood not to count their chickens before they’re dead.”

Emma peeked over the top of Audrey’s head to send Brooke a questioning look, brows furrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Yeah, _Low-budget DiCaprio_ is sporting bright orange behind bars now, remember?” Audrey added, the same disapproving look on her own features.

“Yeah, well,” Brooke shrugged, stepping away from the plaque so she could reach for the flask hidden in her purse without attracting any unwanted attention. Emma and Audrey followed closely behind, along with Noah and Stavo in tow. “We thought everything was over after Piper, too. I’m just saying that this seems a little premature to me. Kieran hasn’t even been to court yet.”

Audrey shared an uncomfortable look with the others, catching up to their friend under the big tree that she’d found. “None of us really want to be here today, but you don’t really think there’s gonna be… _more_. Do you?”

“I don't know, Audrey,” Brooke argued, fishing out the small flask from her handbag. “It just feels so hollow. Why are we even here?”

Audrey couldn't really answer that one, it was something she was struggling with herself. “I don't know, to put on a good show, I guess. Be survivors. But just because this whole display is stupid doesn't mean it's not over.”

Noah fiddled with his tie, clearly a little anxious. Audrey couldn't really blame him. “I hate to say it, but Brooke has a point. We don't really know that any of this is over. And actually–” he furrowed his brows, looking more upset with each word. “We _know_ it isn't over. Not really. There's still… trials and news media and all kinds of crap that we’re all going to have to deal with, even if no one else dies. It's never going to be over for us, but they all just want to put a nice bow on it and move on.”

“Dude, Noah, it's okay–” Thrown off by his sudden outburst, Audrey tried to calm him down before he cut her off.

“No, you know what?” He said, whirling on her. A few of the people who had gathered for the memorial had started to take notice, the news crews included. “It's not okay. They killed Riley _and_ Zoe, the only girls who ever looked my way for more than three seconds. I cared about them, and now that and any other sliver of hope I had at a normal life has been taken away. Don't you _get it?”_

The echo of his question reverberated around them, a dead silence falling among the five of them. Noah looked like he'd just been sucker-punched, as he realized exactly who he’d directed that rant toward. If she wasn’t busy boiling with rage, she might have felt bad for him; he must have been holding that in for a while.

“Yeah, Noah. We get it,” she spat, keeping her voice low just in case someone was listening in. A few people had started to glance their way, and she didn’t really feel like making a show so they could all make the front page again. She knew those words weren't necessarily aimed at them, but she also couldn't just let it go. Emma and Brooke didn't need to hear this, especially from him. “Literally every person standing here has lost someone. Someone they cared about, someone that could have been something. Someone they had sex with, if that's all you fucking care about. Except for pretty boy over here, we all know exactly what you mean.”

“Count your blessings,” Brooke added, her voice steady, though there was an undercurrent of icy steel beneath her words. “Half of us have had to wash their guts out of our hair.”

“Hell,” Audrey muttered, her head starting to hurt. She squeezed her eyes shut and reached up to rub between her eyebrows. “Half of us have to live with knowing that we’ve _slept_ with a killer.”

Her eyes snapped open, suddenly realizing what she'd just said. She looked up to find her friends all staring at her.

“What?” Brooke demanded, finally breaking the silence.

 _“Piper?”_ It was the first time Emma had spoken through this entire conversation and Audrey felt like her eyes were going to bore into her. Her mind helpfully provided an image of an ant about to be roasted beneath a magnifying glass. “Audrey, tell me you didn't.”

“I…” Audrey stammered, looking to Noah and Brooke for help, but she knew she wasn't going to find any there. All she got were stares of confusion, disbelief, and very likely some hurt. “I didn't mean… Look, it was really more like heavy petting, okay? It's not like I knew–”

Emma scoffed, cutting her off. “I can't _believe_ you never told me about this. After everything we’ve been through?”

Audrey was still looking between the three of them—four with Stavo, but she'd almost forgotten he was there—for some trace of a lifeline. “It didn't really seem important at the time, okay? You were already pissed at me, and with good reason. It's not like this was gonna actually help me at all, was it?”

“It's _certainly_ not helping you now, Audrey,” Emma shot back, shaking her head as she turned away to storm off.

“Yeah,” Brooke added, turning to Audrey before heading after Emma. “Not really sure if you can pass off clitoral stimulation as heavy petting either, but nice try.”

Since when could Brooke read her like a fucking book?

_(Probably around the time you started sleeping with her, Jensen.)_

And now she was left alone with Noah and _Stavo_ , of all people. She probably could have done without this happening in front of him.

“Look–” she started, looking to Noah apologetically.

“You didn't know,” he told her, shaking his head. “That's what you said, right? You didn't know.”

“I didn't know. You know I never would have… Not if I'd known.”

Noah shot a glance to Stavo, who shrugged in turn. “Then it doesn't matter. We all have regrets.”

Audrey felt a weight lift off her shoulders, even if just a little. She still had Brooke and Emma to deal with, but she was glad at least that her best friend was in her corner, even after everything.

“Thanks,” she said, blowing a breath out of her mouth. She hadn't prepared for today to suck quite this bad, or in this particular way.

“Yeah, I'm not mad at you at all,” Stavo added, leaning against the tree they'd taken shelter under.

Audrey rolled her eyes and gave him a mostly-friendly shove before heading back to the memorial.

 

* * *

 

Audrey knew it was probably a bad idea to show up on Emma’s doorstep so soon after the bomb she dropped on everyone at the memorial, but clearly making good choices wasn’t her strong suit in the first place. Besides, it killed her to think that this might mean losing Emma again.

Maybe she should just get better at those decision-making skills, but it was a little too late for that now, wasn’t it?

She knocked on Emma’s front door, and Emma’s mom gave her a warm smile upon opening it for her.

“Audrey, hi,” she greeted, pulling her in immediately, wrapping her arms around her for a hug. If there was one thing that Emma’s mom was pretty good at, it was hugs. Sometimes it felt kind of strange to be held like that by a mom, mostly because it wasn’t hers, but it was also kinda nice. With her mom all the way in Boston it was the closest she could get to the real thing lately, and Maggie wasn’t a terrible substitute. Even if it kind of made her feel like shit to think like that. “I’m glad you’re here. The memorial seemed like it was kind of rough on Emma, she’s upstairs in her room. How are you, are you okay?”

Audrey pulled away and gave Emma’s mom a tight smile, shrugging. “I don’t think any of us really expected to have a good day today.”

Maggie frowned a little and smoothed the top of Audrey’s hair. “Well maybe you and Emma can help each other, then. It’s good you have each other. You can stay for dinner tonight, if you’d like.”

Audrey felt a small pang in her chest. She wasn’t sure if Emma would want that. “Yeah, maybe. I think my dad is expecting me tonight, but I’ll let you know,” she replied, moving toward the stairs to Emma’s room. “Thanks, Maggie.”

She bolted up the stairs and took a deep breath as she came face-to-face with Emma’s bedroom door. She needed a moment to steel herself, but by the time she raised her hand to knock, the door had swung open and Emma stood before her, her eyes still threatening to put holes through her.

“... Hi,” Audrey breathed, wondering if she looked as scared as she felt.

Emma crossed her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow at Audrey, expectant. “Don’t tell me you came all this way just to say ‘hi.’”

“Emma…” Her heart sank. This might be even harder than she thought. “Look, I really would have told you if I thought it would help anything. But with everything else going on I knew it was just going to make things worse. Was I wrong?”

Emma looked past her and down the hall for a brief moment before pulling Audrey into her room and shutting the door, her grip firm on her elbow. “Did you…”

“What is it?” Audrey asked, her voice quiet. Emma’s hand was still on her elbow and she couldn’t help but take a small comfort from that. At least she wasn’t so repulsive that Emma couldn’t touch her.

Audrey watched as Emma chewed on her bottom lip a moment, before shaking her head. “No, nevermind, it’s stupid and it’s none of my business and I probably don’t want to know.”

“Emma…” Audrey reached out to hold onto Emma’s arm before she could pull away fully. “Whatever it is, you can ask me. I’m thinking maybe I should try out this new honesty thing.”

“Did you hesitate?”

Audrey blinked, furrowing her brows.

“At the dock. When you had to choose between me or her. Did you hesitate?”

“What?” Audrey asked, surprised. “No, of course not. What makes you think–”

“I just… I think I kind of know how confusing it must have been, trying to make a choice like that.”

Audrey shook her head, tightening her grip on Emma’s arm. “It _wasn’t_ a choice. She never even came close to you.”

Emma nodded, still not meeting Audrey’s eyes. She reached up to wipe the corner of her eye with her sleeve.

“Besides,” Audrey added, tilting her head so she could try to catch Emma’s gaze, giving her a wry smile. “Psychotic Murder Bitch versus best friend? No contest.”

Emma rewarded her with a small laugh, and Audrey smiled wider. A sense of relief filled her chest when, finally, Emma could look her in the eye again. Maybe she hadn’t ruined everything after all.

“I mean,” Audrey continued, loosening her hand on Emma’s arm so she could slowly run her thumb past her skin. “It wasn’t a choice between me and Doucheface, right?”

Emma shook her head. She still hadn’t let go of Audrey’s elbow either. “No, I– Of course not.”

Audrey raised her eyebrows pointedly at Emma, smirking. Her point had been made.

“Sorry,” Emma added, laughing sheepishly. “You’re right, I don’t even know why I asked. I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Audrey insisted, pulling her friend into a tight embrace. “Don’t apologize, _I_ should be apologizing.”

Emma buried her face in Audrey’s neck, shaking her head again. She felt a tug from somewhere behind her navel as Emma slipped her arms around her waist. “No it’s okay. Piper and Kieran played us both, I know that.”

Audrey’s chest ached. She pressed her cheek to Emma’s head, keeping her close, even if it was just for a moment. “I should have told you, though. I was just trying to protect myself. I couldn’t… I couldn’t bear losing you again.”

Emma pulled back with a sniffle, reaching up to smooth Audrey’s hair. “Well, you’re not losing me. So don’t worry, okay?”

Audrey’s traitorous heart stuttered a beat at that, a sensation she’d become well-acquainted with ever since they were kids. But right now, Emma deserved a real friend, not a someone nursing the sudden reappearance of a middle-school crush.

Audrey pulled back from her as casually as she could manage. “I promise I’ll try not to worry, but only if you promise to wait here while I go grab some popcorn for a Buffy rewatch. I feel like watching her beat up some vampires would be super cathartic for both of us right about now.”

Emma laughed, rolling her eyes indulgently. “Alright. But if you don’t hurry, I can’t swear I won’t load up New Girl instead.”

Audrey gave Emma her best look of mock hurt, reaching up to clutch her heart. “You wound me, Emma. Why would you make me watch that? Why?”

Emma’s giggles followed Audrey out into the hallway as she rushed down toward the kitchen, barely able to contain her own grin. So maybe today wasn’t so bad. She hadn’t expected things to go so smoothly, but then again, Emma had always managed to find an easy path to forgiveness. That was a good thing, right?

(And unlike the last two people who said they loved Emma, she didn’t plan on dying or murdering anyone anytime soon. So. She had that going for her, at least.)

 

* * *

 

The three of them continued to keep up meeting at night when none of them could sleep, outside of the times they normally hung out. Audrey found it a lot easier to talk to Emma and Brooke about the nightmares she was afraid to find during sleep than it was to open up to her new therapist, nice as she was. It was just that no doctor could ever compete with the certainty she felt deep in her bones that Brooke and Emma would never judge her or turn away from her. They always just _got it_ , largely because they lived through it too.

And, of course, it didn’t hurt that Brooke kept bringing some form of liquid courage to lighten the mood. She was still eighteen, not nearly old enough to purchase her own alcohol, but it would probably take her at least three years to get through her dad’s old wine cellar anyway. It didn’t seem to actually contain much wine, but Audrey wasn’t all that surprised about that. (She had begun to associate the taste of single-malt whiskey with crisp night air and uncomfortable truths.)

Audrey started that night, just a couple of days after the memorial, once she’d finished hanging onto the bottle for several gulps longer than usual.

“I haven’t really told my shrink about this yet,” she began, fidgeting with the paper label on the over-priced bourbon in her hands. “Because... I don’t know what she’s gonna say. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it after the memorial the other day, so I thought telling you guys would be a good start.”

She took another pause, the weight of what she was about to say settling in her chest. “Um. That night, when we finally got that asshole. I wish we had killed him before the police got there.”

Several beats of silence hung heavy in the late night air following her confession. She couldn’t meet either Emma or Brooke’s eyes, but Emma finally spoke up, releasing the tension on Audrey’s chest.

“Oh, _Audrey._ ”

“I know it’s sick and fucked up, okay?” Audrey started again, shaking her head. She still couldn’t look at them and she pulled her knees up to her chest. How were either of them still friends with her? How could they stand her? She was volatile and unstable and she’d only fuck things up for them too. _Again._ “I shouldn’t be wishing to kill anyone! I know that, but... If we _had_ killed him, then none of us would have to deal with testifying at this stupid trial in a few weeks, and his ass would be rotting in the ground somewhere like he deserves.”

“Amen,” Brooke added, nodding emphatically over the top of the bottle in her hands.

Audrey looked up at her, surprised she’d agree so easily. She turned to look at Emma, guilt churning in her stomach at the way she looked so concerned and… Maybe hurt?

“I’m sorry, Emma,” she added quickly, shaking her head. “I’m not mad at you, but it would have just made everything _so much_ easier.”

“Do you think I don’t–” Emma started quietly, but then she stopped and took a deep breath, visibly calming herself. “I know, Audrey. And… Sometimes I wish we had too. But I think we made the right decision, I really do. After everything, I couldn’t stop thinking about how if I had killed him, then I would _become_ him, and the idea of that made me sick. With so many people’s blood already on my hands, the idea of another one just…”

“I know, Emma,” Audrey stopped her, reaching out for her hand. “I’m not telling you this because I blame you. I just… needed to tell someone, and I didn’t think that ‘sometimes I dream about committing murder’ would go over all that well with my therapist.”

“Yeah, they generally get worried when traumatized murder victims talk about that stuff,” Brooke deadpanned. For all her wit, there was still genuine concern behind her words. “The cycle of violence, and all that.”

Emma cleared her throat and reached up to tuck a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. “Not to change the subject, but speaking of the cycle of violence… I think I’m going to become a vegetarian.”

Brooke raised her eyebrows at that, a small smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “Congratulations on hitting your college hipster phase a year early, Em.”

“Well, okay,” Emma continued, trying to explain herself. “Partly because it feels like the right thing to do, and, um. Also because the inside of a burger looks like a lot of other insides that I’ve seen this year. So that kind of ruins it for me.”

Audrey stared at Emma, her knees still to her chest, wishing that she could have somehow prevented everything that had ever hurt her friend this badly. Of course, the nagging voice in the back of her head realized this was the perfect time to remind her that, technically, she was the one who made it all happen. Emma deserved better. She deserved to be able to eat hamburgers if she wanted to, not that she could really blame her for finding them unappetizing now.

“Wait, I had something too,” Brooke announced, shifting a little on the blanket so she was closer to them both. “For sharing circle, or whatever this is.”

She followed up with a long silence, taking a deep pull from the bottle of whiskey.

“Whatever it is, Brooke, we’re here for you,” Emma prodded, gently.

“Right. So, yesterday,” she began, clearing her throat. “The local news dropped off the retrospective they’re gonna run on my dad. Like, an advance copy or whatever, in case I think anything in there would ‘tarnish his legacy.’”

Audrey winced. That couldn’t have been fun. “Ah, jeez.”

“That must have been… _Really_ hard to watch, Brooke,” Emma agreed, clearly concerned. “I’m so sorry.”

“I mean, kind of?” Brooke bit her lip, nervously tugging at the hem of her skirt. “It was weird listening to them talk about him at a distance. ‘Cause, you know, it was all about the good he’s done for the community, his strong leadership during ‘the mask’ crisis, all that bullshit… It made me realize that no one is ever going to know him like I did. He’s just going to be some small town mayor who did some good stuff, and some bad stuff, and then died. They’re never going to think of him as a person. As a _dad_. He never showed anyone that side of him.”

Brooke’s voice broke, choking out a small sob in the end, though she tried to hide it. She reached up to wipe tears on her sleeve as both Emma and Audrey moved closer yet, reaching for her. “And now he’s gone and no one will ever–”

“Hey,” Emma interrupted, easily pulling Brooke’s small frame into her arms. Sometimes it was easy to forget just how little Brooke really was, with her constant heels and a personality twice the size of any of them. But here, now, she looked so small in Emma’s arms, like she was more lanky fawn than girl. “It’ll be okay, Brooke. _We_ knew him like that, through you. You’ll help us remember him that way.”

“Yeah,” Audrey nodded eagerly, taking Brooke’s hand in hers. She slowly ran her thumb along her knuckles. “You know you can call us, right? We’d have both been there as soon as humanly possible.”

Brooke released a small sniffle, her eyes red around the edges. She leaned against Emma and squeezed Audrey’s hand “I knew you were doing your kickboxing thing then, Audrey, and I didn’t want to bother Emma when you’ve had your own shit to deal with that’s so much worse–”

“Stop,” Emma shook her head, her eyes flashing almost a little dangerously. “Brooke _stop._ That’s not fair to you, or me, or any of us. We’ve all lost people important to us. We can’t sit here compare our suffering like it's a competition, it doesn’t work that way. Not when it was all of us that went through this. So don’t use that as an excuse to shut us out, okay?”

“You know those sick bastards would just love knowing that they’re still managing to keep us apart,” Audrey added. She squeezed Brooke’s hand again, a little harder. She couldn’t stand this. “They fucked everyone in this town, us most of all. Emma’s right, we have to stick together.”

Brooke laughed, humorless. “Go to therapy or else Kieran and Piper win? A little on the nose, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, well.” Audrey shook her head, pulling Brooke’s hand closer to her chest. “Doesn’t make it less true.”

“I know,” Brooke sighed. “I just felt stupid.”

“It's not stupid, Brooke.” Emma reached up to smooth her bangs, her cheek pressed to the top of her head. “And what you said… about wanting your dad to be remembered how you knew him, it totally makes sense. He was your _dad.”_

“And we’re never gonna judge you, I promise. It’s not like we don’t all know each other’s skeletons pretty well at this point, let alone closets,” Audrey added, nudging Brooke lightly, trying to get her to smile. “We’re all that we have left. Well, us and Noah too.”

Brooke scrunched her nose at that. “I’m not talking to Noah.”

“Wasn’t going to recommend that, actually,” Audrey laughed. Noah did technically know about the _thing_ she had with Brooke, but she felt more comfortable compartmentalizing them a bit, for the time being. “Besides, he’s got Stavo now or whatever.”

Emma narrowed her eyes at Audrey, cocking her head curiously. “Yeah, about that. Are they...?”

“Oh god.” Brooke shook her head, pushing off from Emma’s embrace. “Please, tell me they’re not. If our sex lives intersect I might have to kill Noah.”

“I can’t get Noah to say,” Audrey replied, shaking her head, putting her hands up defensively. “I don’t know _what_ they’re doing. I just know that the last three times I asked him to hang out, he couldn’t, because he was _‘working on comics with Stavo.’”_

Brooke looked a little like she might actually be sick. “Please tell me that isn’t a euphemism.”

Audrey gave her a flat smile, apologetic. “With him? It’s really hard to say.”

Brooke groaned loudly, throwing herself into Audrey’s lap. Under different circumstances that might be more enticing, but all Audrey could really do just then was awkwardly pat her shoulder.

Meanwhile, Emma still looked confused. “... I didn’t think Noah was gay.”

“Join the club,” Audrey muttered, her eyebrow raised.

“Or Stavo, for that matter,” Emma continued, looking like she was trying to put together an especially difficult puzzle.

“No, he was definitely at least a little gay.” Brooke lifted her head to contribute again, though still not completely removing herself from Audrey’s lap. “Did you see how he draws men in those comics or whatever? Straight men do not focus that much on other dudes’ asses.”

Audrey snorted.

 _“Brooke!”_ Emma sounded like she was trying to scold Brooke, but she was barely holding her own laughter back.

Brooke shrugged, a smile finally gracing her lips again. “Hey, I’m just telling you like I see it. As someone who has an intimate understanding of Stavo Acosta’s… _bedroom habits,_ I can’t say that it surprises me that the guy’s a little gay.”

Audrey had almost fallen over at this point, she was laughing so hard, only staying upright because Brooke was still anchoring her. “Well. I hope they make each other very happy.”

There was very little any of them could do to not dissolve into lightly intoxicated giggles. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe they were all just desperate for something to laugh about. They didn’t get many chances for that, not the real kind of belly laughter they’d been afforded that night.

Audrey still felt light as she waved goodbye to Emma, who was ducking out early again to make it home before her mom woke up. She chewed on her bottom lip, glancing to Brooke as she capped tonight’s booze. The light feeling dissipated pretty swiftly as she realized it was the first time they’d had the chance to be alone since the memorial, and Audrey couldn’t ignore the guilt gnawing on her stomach any longer.

“So…” she began, still trying to work out what exactly she was going to say. She knew she was kind of a jerk for waiting so long to talk to Brooke about the whole thing, but Brooke was harder to crack than Emma. There wasn’t any question about it, the girl played her cards close to her chest. Whereas Emma was an open book, there was still a lot she was learning about Brooke.

“Is this where you’re gonna try and kiss up to me so I’ll forgive you about the Piper thing?”

Audrey fell silent, her mouth hanging open still. She really hated it when Brooke did that. “Well, I mean–”

Brooke sighed and rolled her eyes, moving closer to Audrey so they were facing each other, legs draped over her lap. “I see you and Emma made it out in one piece. Lucky for you, Emma’s one of the most forgiving people to ever set foot on this planet.”

Audrey took in a breath, her cheeks going red at how close Brooke was despite the fact that she was kind of terrified. She got the distinct feeling Brooke was doing that on purpose to keep her off-balance. “I should have said something sooner.”

“Hm.” Brooke reached up to clutch Audrey’s chin in her hand, brown eyes drifting across her features until they met her gaze. “Yes, you should have. Silly me, I kind of hoped that you’d come talk to me after you talked to Emma.”

Audrey leaned into Brooke’s hand, trying to figure out how she would possibly make up for that. She’d procrastinated this too long, she was well-aware. “Brooke, I wanted to,” she insisted, knowing it was a poor excuse. “I promise I did, I just…”

“What? Did you think I wouldn’t understand? That I’d be _angry?”_

“Well…” Audrey pleaded. She reached up to cover Brooke’s hand on her cheek with her own. _“Yeah._ You didn’t seem all that happy with me either, and I guess I thought… maybe you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore if you knew.”

 _“Audrey.”_ Brooke shook her head, leaning forward to brush her lips gently over Audrey’s. It was a ghost of a kiss, and it left Audrey shivering and aching for more. “What was it you said to me like an hour ago? ‘They fucked everyone in this town, us most of all.’ Some of us more literally than others, it would seem, but Piper was a manipulative bitch. That’s not your fault.”

Audrey shook, her vision blurring as her eyes welled with unshed tears. _Not your fault_. Had she heard that yet from anyone other than her therapist? She wasn’t sure. “But…”

“Hush,” Brooke interrupted, giving her another gentle kiss, lingering this time. “I’m not angry with you. I can’t say that I’m not upset that you didn’t talk to me, but I don’t care about the Piper thing.”

A small gasp of a sob escaped Audrey’s lips as she pressed her forehead against Brooke’s, leaning into her. It still made her sick to think about how much of herself she’d given to Piper, and she didn’t understand how the hell Brooke could just let go of that. “I feel so… _used_. I feel dirty, Brooke. Like I’m never gonna be able to wash her off of me.”

“Look at me,” Brooke murmured, holding Audrey’s face in both hands. She threaded her fingers through Audrey’s jet black hair and gently tugged at it by the roots. “She could never ruin you for me. She’s not here, she’s gone. It’s just you and me.”

Something broke in Audrey, like a rope had snapped, and she launched forward, finding Brooke’s lips in a kiss. No longer satisfied with hushed and whispered affection, she kissed Brooke like she was starving, like Brooke was the last hope she had for staying alive. She grabbed Brooke by the waist and pressed her back onto the blanket, knocking her legs apart so she could settle between them, joined at the hips.

Brooke gasped into Audrey’s mouth, arching to meet her body with her own. They’d never been especially gentle with each other, but this was different. Audrey didn’t care that they were in a nearly open field or that it was perhaps a little too cold out, she needed every inch of Brooke she could get.

She pushed Brooke’s thin sweater above her bellybutton, tearing her lips away just long enough to scrape her teeth along the hollow of Brooke’s neck.

 _“Audrey,”_ Brooke gasped, her hands clutching onto fistfuls of Audrey’s shirt like a vice.

In answer, Audrey pulled away from Brooke’s grasp and crawled down the length of her torso, pressing kisses to each inch of skin she could find before coming to her bellybutton. She swirled her tongue around the edge of it, her hands quickly pushing up along her thighs, underneath her skirt.

Robbed of the shirt she’d been clutching onto, Brooke instead anchored her hands in Audrey’s hair again, her head thrown back. “Please, Audrey…”

Her gasped, pleading cry for help sent a shiver down Audrey’s back and she groaned into Brooke’s skin. She tugged Brooke’s lacy underwear off her hips, not hesitating for a second as she pressed her lips between Brooke’s thighs.

 _This_ was the part of Brooke that Audrey knew. She knew which parts of Brooke were most sensitive and she knew how to flick her tongue just right to drive her insane. She knew she was doing it right when Brooke’s fists threatened to rip her hair out from the roots. She knew every step like a dance, until she had Brooke trembling beneath her. Under different circumstances, she might have allowed herself a little more congratulations for getting Brooke Maddox to beg.

“I forgive you,” Brooke breathed afterward, her eyes still closed.

Audrey grinned crookedly as she crawled back to Brooke’s mouth, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of it. “I thought you weren’t mad at me.”

“I’m not, but maybe you’ll learn your lesson this time,” Brooke countered, smiling now as well. She peeked her eyes open to stare Audrey down, one hand back to curling in the fabric of her red flannel shirt, just above her hip.

Audrey nuzzled her nose to Brooke’s cheek, forehead rested against her temple and eyes closed. “I _am_ sorry. You know that, don’t you?”

“I know. Why do you think I let you off the hook so easy?”

Audrey breathed a deep sigh, relieved. She settled close to Brooke, not ready to leave just yet.

But before long, she heard Brooke clear her throat pointedly, interrupting Audrey’s content introspection. “Speaking of learning our lessons.”

Audrey’s eyebrows shot up and she opened her eyes again. She knew that tone.

“You know we should tell Emma,” Brooke told her softly, turning her head to face Audrey. “You can see that now, right?”

Audrey pulled back a little, propping herself on one elbow so she could stare down at Brooke. _“Tell Emma,_ are you joking? Brooke, I just got her friendship _back_. You really think she’s just gonna be totally cool with the fact that we’ve been fucking for weeks and we didn’t tell her?”

“And do you really think turning that into _months_ before we tell her is gonna help?” Brooke asked, sitting up a little as well. She shook her head, waving her hand. “No, you know what, it’s fine. It’s your call. For the record, I just suggest we tell her before she figures it out on her own.”

“We’ll tell her,” Audrey conceded, slipping an arm around Brooke’s waist, her hand settling on her ribcage just under her sweater. “I just want to make sure the time is right.”

Brooke sighed and nodded, stealing one more kiss. “Okay.”

“C’mon, let’s take you home before one of us catches a cold.”

They gathered their things in relative silence, sharing short gazes and lingering smiles before linking pinkies on their way back to Brooke’s car. (Audrey had given up on trying to convince her to set foot in her car ages ago.)

“Hey, one more thing,” Brooke said as they settled into the car, snapping their seatbelts into place. “Normally I wouldn’t ask, but against my better judgement, I feel like I have to know. Did you ever have sex with Noah?”

Whatever Audrey was expecting, it wasn’t that. _“Oh_ my god, no. Of course not.”

(She felt a little bad about the involuntary shudder that flashed down her spine.)

“Oh, thank god,” Brooke replied, blowing her breath out through her cheeks. “If you had, we’d have to stop.”

Before Audrey could put the Range Rover into gear, Brooke’s hand was on her thigh, much higher than what could possibly considered innocent. Or accidental. Audrey’s breath hitched in her throat and she turned to Brooke, who had another one of those grins on her face, the kind that made her stomach flip and gave her goosebumps. She was done for.

“And I don’t want to stop.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is already 70% written, so updates should be fairly frequent. come bother us at [chiltongirlsdoitbetter](http://chiltongirlsdoitbetter.tumblr.com/) and [dickryders](http://dickryders.tumblr.com/) if you want to bug us about them.
> 
> (or ask us about our INCREDIBLY DETAILED HEADCANONS about all the ways these characters live happy lives and no one ever commits murder around them ever again)


	2. think i lost my mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey merry christmas and happy hanukkah! we know we just put out the first chapter a few days ago, but we had this one ready too and we really appreciate all the positive feedback we got from the first chapter!
> 
> many thanks again to our lovely betas [explosionshark](http://explosionshark.tumblr.com/) and [seekingoutfriday](http://seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com/)!

School was generally weird for all of them, but that was to be expected. Despite the almost-constant questioning stares from most of the general student population, it actually did feel nice to be doing something halfway normal. The school had agreed to let the five of them take a good chunk of their classes together, incorporating a kind of buddy system with the hope that it would help them lean on each other. Generally, it seemed to work.

They had an unspoken agreement with most of their teachers, that if any of them ever needed to duck out of class for a few minutes, no one would bat an eye—just so long as none of them abused it. The school staff was understanding, but not all of them had been around last semester. The school had done some restructuring, largely in part because a few teachers had decided to move out of Lakewood during the whole Murderville ordeal, and their Biology teacher—Mrs. Perry—had been pulled from the next town over to help fill in. She was nice enough, if not a little weird and overly enthusiastic about lab equipment. Luckily, this was one of the few classes that all five of them had together, and it was their first class of the day as well, so it usually went by without a hitch.

“Good morning class!” Mrs. Perry announced cheerfully, sweeping into the room with her requisite thermos of coffee. She was always a little too chipper for seven o’clock in the morning, in Audrey’s opinion. “We have a surprise for you today! I have a friend with the morgue at the hospital and I was able to pull a few strings to show you kids this today.”

Audrey furrowed her brows and shot a questioning look behind her to the others as Mrs. Perry waved someone in from the other side of the classroom door. In strode another woman in a lab coat, pushing a silver cart with a white sheet thrown over it.

“Everyone, let’s welcome my dear friend Miss Rogers. Now, kids,” Mrs. Perry continued, moving to stand next to the cart, helping to position it in the front of the room. “Not everyone has the stomach for this kind of thing, so if you need to excuse yourself, that’s okay.”

Mrs. Perry grinned as she turned to face the group of students in front of her, her face falling as her gaze landed on the five of them. _The Lakewood Five,_ who had all endured more horrors and had witnessed far too much more bloodshed than any teenagers should have to. “Oh, um. Actually, the five of you can probably wait outside, if you like.”

Audrey furrowed her brows as she looked at the cart curiously. It wasn’t nearly large enough to be a full cadaver, but there was definitely something underneath that sheet. Probably nothing she hadn’t seen before.

“If that’s what I think it is, we’ll probably be fine, Mrs. Perry,” Emma spoke up from the desk next to her.

“Yeah, it kind of looks way different when they’re not spilling out of someone’s body actually,” Audrey added, shrugging.

“Well,” Mrs. Perry blanched, clearly not having expected their cavalier attitude. Then again, Audrey wasn’t totally sure if she had thoroughly thought this through at all. She kind of wondered which school official had actually approved this display. “Alright then.”

Mrs. Perry looked up to her friend and nodded, taking one corner of the sheet so they could pull it back together. Sitting there on the cold metal of the cart was a liver, a single lung, and a heart. All human, as far as she could tell.

Unfazed, Audrey tossed another look behind her to check on her friends. Brooke looked a little green, and Stavo looked a little too into it. Sometimes the guy still gave her the creeps. She turned her eyes to Emma, who didn’t seem to be any more affected than she was.

“Em, you sure you’re okay?” Audrey asked, furrowing her brows.

“I’m fine, honestly,” Emma insisted, turning to her. “Sure it’s gross, but you’re right. It isn't the same. All this is doing is pretty solidly confirming my commitment to vegetarianism.”

Audrey opened her mouth to say something else before she heard a clatter behind her. She whipped around to find that Noah had fallen from his desk, his books scattered on the floor.

 _“Shit,”_ Audrey swore, immediately on her feet. Stavo beat her to Noah’s side, and between the two of them they could pretty easily hoist their friend upright, sharing his weight across their shoulders.

“Maybe we should take him outside,” Emma told Mrs. Perry, approaching the front of the classroom.

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna tag along,” Brooke agreed, still looking pretty uncomfortable with display in front of them.

“We’ll take him to the nurse, Mrs. P,” Stavo assured her, helping Audrey carry a still-unconscious Noah through the door. “We’ve got this.”

The five of them hurried down the hall, and Noah started stirring a little once they were out of the classroom, his head lolling on his shoulders.

“Hang on, let’s set him down here for a second,” Audrey suggested, pulling him over to a nearby stairwell so they could let him sit.

“I’ll go get him some water,” Brooke agreed, moving past Emma to go find a vending machine.

“Wh- what…” Noah said weakly, his eyes fluttering open. Stavo moved so he was behind Noah, up a few steps, letting Noah lean on him.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Emma told him gently, reaching up to feel his forehead and cheeks. “You’re okay, you just fainted.”

“Yeah, Perry just forgot to check her class roster before bringing in body parts, it’s not a big deal,” Audrey added, rolling her eyes. She was on Noah’s other side, a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll be fine, champ.”

“Oh god,” Noah muttered, still looking a little pale.

“Here.” Brooke uncapped the bottle of water she had purchased from the vending machine down the hallway, holding it out to Noah. “Drink this. We’ll help you get to the nurse’s office.”

Noah took the bottle from Brooke, drinking from it slowly. “Y- you guys were all fine?”

“I think ‘fine’ is relative,” Brooke assured him, arms crossed. “I don’t think any of us really _enjoyed_ that.”

“Yeah, except for Da Vinci over here,” Audrey countered, tossing her head toward Stavo.

“Hey,” Stavo protested, “It was good reference material. An understanding of human anatomy is an essential part of any good artist’s repertoire.”

“Well, I’m sure Perry will let you back in if you really want, I think we’ve got this.”

“No,” Noah argued, shaking his head as he turned to look at Stavo. “No, don’t go back. Just help me to the nurse’s office, okay?”

“Yeah, sure thing,” Stavo agreed, standing up again.

Audrey rolled her eyes, a hand on Noah’s back to steady him while Stavo hoisted him up on his shoulders again. She moved to help, ushering the two of them forward. She glanced back toward Brooke, who made a face as she watched Noah and Stavo.

She raised her eyebrows at Brooke once she’d caught her stare, hiding an amused smile. In return, Brooke only rolled her eyes and swept ahead of them to lead the way to the nurse’s office.

“If I never see anything that comes out of a morgue ever again it’ll be too soon,” she shot back to them over her shoulder.

Audrey exchanged a stifled smile with Emma. Maybe this was why Brooke and Stavo never did quite work out. There was only so much morbidity the girl could take, apparently.

 

* * *

 

Audrey threw herself onto Brooke’s bed, still not totally sure why she’d been invited to help her pack. It’s not like she and Brooke shared the same taste in fashion, but she had to admit that she enjoyed the company in any case. Even if she couldn’t contribute.

“Not the shoes, Audrey,” Brooke scolded, gesturing to Audrey’s combat boots. They weren’t even on the bed, instead hanging off the edge, but Audrey rolled her eyes and kicked them off anyway.

“How long are you gonna be gone again?” Emma asked, sitting cross-legged next to Audrey on the bed, holding up one of the shirts Brooke had laid out as an option, examining it.

“Just a couple of days,” Brooke promised, pulling out more clothes from her drawers. Honestly, Audrey didn’t understand what the point was of owning so many clothes. “I’ll be back by Wednesday night and I’ll tell you guys all about it.“

Audrey reached for one of the magazines on Brooke’s nightstand, idly flipping through it. It was one of those massive fashion magazines that looked more like a textbook than anything else. It may as well have actually been a textbook, for all that Audrey understood of it.

“I still can’t believe you’re going straight to college next year,” Emma sighed, picking up another article of clothing, sorting them into piles of “yes,” “maybe,” and _“definitely not, Brooke, you'll freeze.”_

“What, and stick around Lakewood for another year?” Brooke scoffed, throwing one of her lacy shirts Emma’s way before turning to her walk-in closet. “No thanks.”

Emma and Audrey shared a glance. She had a point. _They_ both still had parents in Lakewood, but there wasn’t really anything holding Brooke there. Except for them.

Still, Audrey had to admit that she was wildly proud. Brooke was headed off to an interview at freaking Columbia, and that was just one of several prestigious prospects. Audrey still sometimes struggled to get out of bed in the morning, but here Brooke was, set to conquer the world like some kind of miniature Elle Woods.

“I think it’s really cool,” Audrey told her, looking up from the magazine.

“Yeah, of course,” Emma agreed, shaking her head. “Of course, it’s amazing and so brave, and we’re so proud of you Brooke. We’ll just miss you, is all.”

Brooke reappeared from within her closet, leaning against the doorframe. She gave them a grateful smile. “I’m really gonna miss you guys too. Even for this trip. I know I’m only gonna be gone a couple of days but it’s kind of… Overwhelming.”

“Oh, Brooke.” Emma was immediately on her feet, rushing to Brooke’s side and pulling her into her arms. “You’re gonna be great, I know it. And you’re gonna come back home and you’ll tell us all about your big adventure in New York City.”

“Yeah, just so long as you don’t come home singing musicals,” Audrey smirked, sitting up a little.

“Please,” Brooke laughed, waving Audrey over from the spot she had molded for herself in Emma’s side. “It’s like you don’t even know me.”

Audrey laughed and rose from the bed, pretending to drag her feet as she followed Brooke’s command. She fell into their arms and wrapped her own around each of them, accidentally pushing them both into the dresser and knocking into the corkboard above it.

 _“Ow,_ ow sorry,” she grimaced, apologetic as she steadied them both.

“It’s okay,” Emma laughed, her arm around Audrey’s shoulders. Audrey watched as she quickly glanced over at the corkboard to assess the damage when the smile instantly fell from her face and she turned white as a sheet.

Audrey furrowed her brows and followed her line of sight until her eyes landed on one of the pictures that had fallen from the board. “Oh, _fuck.”_

It was a picture of all of them, not long after the first round of attacks. It looked innocent enough on its own, and Audrey could see why Brooke had kept it. Brooke was in the front with Jake, who had probably just said something stupid and very _Jake_ as he tickled her ribs to make her laugh. It was probably one of the only pictures she had like this, and Audrey placed the timing of it right before Emma briefly left Lakewood. It drew enough attention that she almost missed Emma and Kieran near the back, their arms around each other and looking every bit like the happy couple that they had been for those few brief weeks before the second round of murders had begun.

Brooke squeaked out a gasp, covering her mouth with her hands for half a second before reaching to snatch the picture from the top of the dresser. She folded it in half and swept away from Emma and Audrey, retreating to the bathroom, presumably to dispose of it. “Oh my god, I can’t _believe_ I missed this one...”

Her voice trailed off as she disappeared, leaving Emma trembling in Audrey’s arms.

“Hey hey, look at me Emma,” Audrey ordered, hoping her voice would cut through to her. She steered Emma to the edge of the bed, holding her face in her hands. “Come back to me.”

Tears started flooding Emma’s eyes and a sob escaped her chest, still looking at the empty space on the corkboard where the picture had been. She started breathing too fast, too hard. This wasn’t good.

“Em, it’s me,” Audrey begged, pushing Emma’s hair from her face. “C’mon, it’s okay.”

Emma finally turned to look Audrey in the face, gasping for breath. “Audrey…”

Audrey threw her arms around Emma, holding her close to her chest. “It’s okay, you’re okay. It’s just us and Brooke. You’re safe.”

Emma broke into heavy sobs, clutching to Audrey as Brooke reappeared at Emma’s side with a glass of water. She sat next to her on the bed and ran her hand along her back.

“Emma, I’m so sorry,” Brooke said in a hushed whisper. “I don’t know how I missed it, I thought I’d gotten everything.”

Emma lifted her head, extracting herself from Audrey’s embrace to accept the glass of water. “It… it's okay, it was probably bound to happen eventually.”

“No, I should have seen it,” Brooke insisted. She squeezed Emma’s knee. “It’s gone now, though. And I’ll do another sweep tonight just in case.”

Emma nodded, leaning her head against Audrey’s arm. “I’m sorry, guys.”

“Hey, don’t apologize,” Audrey shook her head. She stooped a little so she could look at Emma. “It’s okay, we’re your friends. We get it.”

“Seriously, Em,” Brooke agreed. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Emma fell silent for a moment, taking another drink from her water before she straightened, taking a deep breath. “Well, we didn’t come here for this,” she told them, standing up and going to the closet so she could assess more of Brooke’s never-ending wardrobe. “How cold is it in New York right now?”

Brooke and Audrey shared a worried look before Brooke rose from the bed as well, going to help Emma.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Survivor Girl, how’re you holding up?”

Audrey dropped onto the blanket next to Emma, pulling a bottle of scotch from her bag. They were missing Brooke for tonight’s midnight “therapy session,” as she was already in New York for the next couple of days. According to Brooke’s call from earlier, the city was gorgeous and the small bit of Columbia’s campus she’d gotten to see before finding her hotel looked incredible. (Audrey, who applied solely to state schools within a four-hour radius, was both intimidated and incredibly impressed.)

Thankfully, Brooke gave them both permission to raid the liquor closet at her house if they needed to, and Audrey was more than willing to make it up to her when she got home. It felt a little weird without her, but the scotch helped.

“I’m okay,” Emma promised, giving Audrey a reassuring smile. It had only been a day since the incident in Brooke’s room, and Audrey had been checking up on her periodically ever since.

“Good,” Audrey smiled, playfully nudging her with her elbow. She twisted the cap off the bottle of scotch, already knocking a drink back with a grimace. “Because I think I need this tonight.”

Emma chuckled and reached for the bottle in Audrey’s hands. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

Audrey rested her chin in her hand, elbow planted on her knee, and watched as Emma took a deep drink. “You wanna talk about it? I mean, that _does_ seem to be the running theme with whatever the hell we’ve been doing here.”

“Oh,” Emma said, giving another soft laugh. “I don’t know.”

“Come,” Audrey encouraged, straightening and putting on her best Freudian accent. Or at least what she assumed a Freudian accent would be. “Tell me, vhat is on your mind? How does that make you _feel?”_

Emma laughed, shoving Audrey gently, playful. It felt good to see that she was still smiling, even after everything. “No, it’s okay. I mean it. You didn’t come here just to listen to me blubber.”

“Come on, Em,” Audrey insisted, dropping the act. “You know it doesn't bother me. If it’s on your mind then you can talk to me about it.”

Emma chewed on her bottom lip, hesitating, but Audrey didn’t press her. She knew that Emma would talk when she was ready.

“It’s just that… You know, my mom keeps telling me that I'm alive and Kieran's in jail, which means he and Piper lost,” Emma said, swirling the brown liquid around in the bottle in her hands. “Logically I know that’s true, but I still can't sleep through the night. I can't stand the sight of blood, and if I forget to turn my phone off vibrate, I have to leave the room to calm down. I'm… I’m not okay.”

Audrey reached out to hold her hand, listening intently. “Em…”

“And, you know,” Emma added before Audrey could say anything else. “I'm not so sure I'm ever going to be okay again. So doesn’t that mean they really did win?”

Audrey shook her head, squeezing Emma’s hand. “It doesn’t, I promise. It sucks like hell right now, yeah. But we still have a chance, don’t we? It’s okay if you haven’t completely healed by tomorrow or next week or a year from now.”

Emma didn’t say anything, but she leaned into Audrey, letting her head rest on her shoulder as Audrey wrapped an arm around her waist.

“If I have anything to say about it, they’ll never win,” Audrey promised, her cheek pressed to Emma’s forehead. “And you’ll never have to feel alone.”

They were silent for a moment, Audrey silently stroking Emma’s arm, hoping it could give her some kind of comfort.

“Can I ask you something?” Emma suddenly spoke up, her voice quiet.

“Yeah, of course,” she replied, nodding. There was a small part of her that was worried this was gonna be about Brooke, but Audrey was still pretty sure that Emma couldn’t possibly have picked up on that. They were being careful. “You can ask me anything, Emma.”

“You told me, back when I found out... “ Emma started, still barely speaking more than a whisper. “After I knew that you brought Piper to Lakewood.”

Audrey stiffened immediately, her stomach dropping. She knew this would probably come up again, even if she still really didn’t want to face this. But at this point Emma deserved to know anything she wanted about what happened between her and Piper. Full disclosure.

“You told me that you didn’t think it could possibly be Piper.”

Audrey swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded, her insides forming into a knot in her stomach. “Yeah. I remember.”

“I think I get it,” Emma told her, lifting her head to look at Audrey, her lips pursed in thought. “I didn’t at the time, but I think I understand now.”

Audrey finally turned to meet Emma’s eyes. “I… I probably could have figured out it was Piper,” she admitted, a dull ache in her chest. “I just really wanted it to be Kieran. That was easier than thinking it was all my fault. Lucky me, I got a two for one deal.”

Emma gave a mirthless laugh, shaking her head again. She stared at the patterned quilt underneath them. They’d all taken to keeping a blanket in their cars at this point, and the one they were using tonight was Audrey and Emma’s favorite to play on back when they were kids. Audrey could remember making blanket forts out of it, sitting underneath it as they binged on junk food and Disney movies during rainy days. She’d spent so much time with Emma and this exact blanket that it kind of felt like home.

“You had a question,” Audrey reminded her, gently knocking shoulders with Emma.

“I did,” she agreed, nodding. She took another drink from the bottle of scotch before passing it to Audrey. “I do.”

Audrey took the bottle, drinking from it. “Well, let me have it, Duval.”

Emma searched her face for a moment. For what, Audrey couldn’t be sure. “Did Piper try to pin it on Kieran?”

Audrey released a deep sigh, fidgeting with the bottle in her hands. “That was the theory we were running with, yeah. You know, it’s weird. At the time it seemed like it had been my idea, that we were chasing down that lead in the end because it was something I had come up with, but now I’m not sure. I’m not sure about a lot things she said, now.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” Emma agreed, another bitter laugh escaping her lips. “I keep thinking back on everything Kieran and I had ever talked about, trying to figure out where the lies stopped and where the truth started.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about that,” Audrey cautioned, reaching to squeeze Emma’s knee. “Believe me, it won’t help.”

“But that’s what I mean. I get it now, Audrey,” Emma insisted fervently, brows furrowed. “When I first found out, I couldn’t understand how you could just ignore all the evidence pointing toward whoever was supposed to be my half-sibling, but now I get that I was doing the exact same thing with Kieran. I guess I just wanted you to know that.”

To say that it was a relief to hear this coming from Emma was a massive understatement. She never really expected to be able to live down the fact that she was essentially at fault for bringing the psychopath murderer who ruined Emma’s life to Lakewood. “Thank you.”

“Did you care about her?”

Audrey took a long moment to think. She still hadn’t really been able to fully decipher her feelings on the matter. “I thought I did. It was… Weird. Rachel had just died and I think Piper knew I was vulnerable. I don’t know if I really cared about her or if I just didn’t want to be alone.”

Emma pulled Audrey into her arms, embracing her fiercely. “If I could punch her in the face, I would.”

“Hey now,” came Audrey’s muffled reply, a trace of mirth in her voice. “You’re starting to sound like me.”

“I mean it,” Emma insisted, pulling back so she could look Audrey in the eye. “I hate that they did this to us. They pitted us against each other for so long, made me believe awful things about you.”

“Things that aren’t technically untrue,” Audrey muttered, shying away from Emma’s eyes.

“No, they _aren’t_ true.” Emma shook her head, sure of herself. “I know you, Audrey.”

Audrey pulled Emma into another tight embrace, holding onto the back of her head as an anchor. She hated that Emma understood, now, because it meant Kieran had manipulated her too. She’d known that for a while now, but it still left her with the sudden urge to drive to the state penitentiary so she could punch his stupid dick in.

Emma finally spoke again, not letting go just yet. Audrey heard a sniffle from somewhere around her shoulder. “You know... We never did get the chance to talk about what you said in the barn.”

Audrey’s eyes snapped open and she pulled back, holding Emma at arm's length by both of her shoulders. “Oh, uh. We seriously don’t have to. It’s okay.”

Emma shook her head, her eyes practically begging her. She’d always had those puppy dog eyes and it had driven Audrey up the wall ever since they were kids. The worst part was that Audrey was pretty sure she didn’t even know she was doing it.

“Audrey, I'm tired of sweeping things under the rug.”

What was she supposed to say to that? She couldn’t just say no. It’s not like Emma didn’t have a point. _“Fine._ I really don't have anything else to say, though,” Audrey insisted, biting back a heavy sigh. “It's all in the past. I was over you by the time I met Rachel, so.”

Emma peered at her strangely, looking almost a little shaken by that, but Audrey couldn’t quite place it. “I just… I guess I just wish you had told me earlier. Back then, so we could–”

“So we could _what_ , Emma?”

“I don't know!” Emma protested, waving a hand in defense. “I just feel like I could have helped more. Let you down easier, or something. At least stop talking about boys so much around you, so we could have still been friends.”

“Emma,” Audrey sighed, shaking her head. “It wouldn't have helped.”

Emma frowned, looking away from Audrey. She pulled a little farther away and crossed her arms over her chest. It was clear she wasn’t satisfied with that answer.

“Not because of you,” Audrey added quickly. “I needed time and space to get over you, okay? I don't think anything you could have said or done would have changed that.”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay,” conceded Emma, though she still wasn’t looking at Audrey. “I guess it all worked out eventually huh?”

“Well. Minus the murders.”

Emma rolled her eyes before letting them land on Audrey again. “Obviously.”

“Not to mention,” Audrey replied, trying to lighten up,“fourteen-year-old me never imagined that I would confess my love in a murder barn, over a rotting pig.”

Emma laughed, giving a Audrey a sidelong look, one eyebrow raised curiously. “So you pictured it?”

Audrey coughed, not having expected that follow-up question. “I guess? I was fourteen years old, I imagined a lot things.”

“So what did you imagine, then?” Emma asked, her lips lightly pursed in that way she did when she was thinking a little too hard about something. “How was it supposed to go?”

Audrey stared at her, pretty sure her heart had stopped beating at some point. She probably wasn’t even alive anymore. She was probably dead because Emma Duval wanted to know how exactly she had planned to profess her undying eighth grade love to her. “Uh, well. I dunno. In your room? Or maybe at school, after kicking Will's ass.” She chewed on her bottom lip, hoping it was dark enough that Emma wouldn’t be able to tell how red she was. “Um. The daffodil field.”

“We were kind of close to that one, actually,” Emma reminded her, her voice a little lower than normal. Audrey really wasn’t sure if she was doing it on purpose or not. Probably not, right?

“Yeah, I guess we were.”

“Did you have a whole speech prepared, and everything?” Emma was teasing, but Audrey was fairly certain that she really was dead by this point. Or dreaming. This could be a dream. That seemed more plausible, actually.

“No, no way.”

Emma sent her a look that clearly said she didn’t believe that for an instant.

 _“Yeah,_ okay,” Audrey gave in, her heart stuttering back to life, but now beating a mile a minute.

Emma tilted her head at Audrey, encouraging. “... Well? It’s nothing that I haven’t heard already, right?”

“Uh, right.” Audrey took a deep breath and took a deep drink from their bottle of scotch, definitely needing a little extra courage. It’s not like she didn’t know it by heart or anything. It wasn’t still written down and folded up in the back of her dresser at all.

She cleared her throat and moved to face Emma, her legs crossed. She furrowed her brows for a second, twisting the cap back onto the whiskey bottle.

“It probably went something like…” Audrey started, still shying away from Emma’s eyes at first, even though she knew Emma was looking right at her. “We’ve been friends for a long time. I… I've shared parts of myself with you that I’ve never shared with anyone and… You’re special to me.”

Audrey looked up at Emma again, her own heartbeat still pounding in her ears. “I know that maybe you won’t feel exactly the same way, but I want you to know that you mean the world to me, Emma. Every day I see you, and see the way you smile and watch how strong you are… I fall for you a little more, all over again.”

Emma’s breath caught in her throat as she listened, blinking in astonishment.

“Yeah, I know, disgustingly cheesy,” Audrey started panicking, backpedaling as fast as she could. “But I was fourteen and–”

She didn’t get a chance to finish before Emma reached for Audrey’s face and silenced her with a kiss. It lingered, unyielding as they tasted each other for the first time, until a soft moan pushed past Audrey’s lips.

Emma gasped and pulled back. She stared at Audrey for half a second, taking a brief moment to breathe before she moved to kiss Audrey again, hungry this time. She grabbed Audrey by the back of her neck, and kissed her hard, feeding her own groan into her mouth.

All Audrey could really do was hold onto Emma’s waist and kiss her back with every pent-up hope she’d ever harbored. Just the taste of Emma’s tongue was enough to render her almost entirely useless, and it didn't completely hit her that she was _really_ kissing Emma until they finally broke apart, breathless and gasping for air.

“Emma…” Audrey breathed, eyes wide as she trembled in Emma’s arms. Her heart still hadn’t stopped pounding and she was long past feeling lightheaded.

Emma’s reply was somewhere between a gasp and a squeak and she reached up to touch her own lips, still a little red and swollen from the kiss they’d just shared. “I’m… I’m sorry, I don’t know wh–”

“No, Emma, it’s okay,” Audrey shook her head, letting go of Emma so she could pull away to stand up. She had no idea what was going on, and her gut reaction was to get out of there as soon as possible before she could fuck up worse. “I shouldn’t have–”

“No, it’s fine,” Emma spoke over her, neither of them really listening to what the other was saying. Emma also rose to her feet and started gathering up the blanket. “I asked you to tell me, and. And you told me, and thank you for that. I should probably get back though, my mom is going to start waking up to go to work soon, so…”

“No, yeah,” Audrey agreed, not really sure what to do with her hands. She eventually settled on fidgeting with her keys rather aggressively. “I should probably actually try to sleep tonight.”

Emma started backing toward her car, her blanket bunched up under one arm as she tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, yeah. I should too. I’ll see you tomorrow, though.”

“Y- yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Audrey called back to her retreating form. Emma was already halfway to her car, practically running away from her.

So, that went well. _Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by all means please come bug us on tumblr at [chiltongirlsdoitbetter](http://chiltongirlsdoitbetter.tumblr.com/) and [dickryders](http://dickryders.tumblr.com/) for any ot3 shenanigans and headcanons you wanna hear about, christmas-related or otherwise!


	3. i will not kiss you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy crap first of all we want to thank everyone for the positive feedback! we're really stoked to share this with you guys, and we're so pleased that you guys have given this a shot
> 
> as always, so many thanks to our betas [explosionshark](http://explosionshark.tumblr.com/) and [seekingoutfriday](http://seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com/)! y'all rock

The next day at school Audrey wandered into first period just before the bell rang, her hood pulled up to help her avoid anyone and everyone’s line of sight. She nodded a curt greeting to Noah and Stavo before slipping into her seat. She still hadn’t looked at Emma directly, but it was almost like heat was radiating off her form from across the aisle. She was so hyper-aware of her presence that she was pretty sure she could feel her cheeks heating up every time Emma made the slightest shift in her seat.

“Hey,” Noah asked, leaning forward to whisper to Audrey. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s peachy,” Audrey insisted forcefully. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Noah put up his hands defensively, glancing between Audrey and Emma. “No reason, I guess.”

The next two classes went similarly. Audrey and Emma avoided each other as much as possible, barely even looking at one another, but they had a break at least during third hour, which they spent in different classrooms.

Audrey ducked into the girl’s bathroom during lunch, not wanting to confront either Emma or Noah’s questions. She wanted some time to pull herself together before she had to spend fourth period sharing a table with Emma. Only once it was actually time for fourth period, after she settled into her chair and the bell rang to start class, Emma was nowhere to be found.

Audrey threw her eraser at the back of Noah’s head to get his attention.

“Ow, _hey,”_ he hissed, turning to face her. “What was that for?”

“Where’s Emma, is she okay?” she whispered, concern wrinkling the space between her brows.

“Oh, I see you’re acknowledging her existence now,” Noah grumbled, rubbing the back of his head. “She went home during lunch, said she didn’t feel well.”

A small sense of panic rose in Audrey’s chest. This was her fault. What if she’d triggered something with Emma? What if she was having another anxiety attack but no one was there to help? She whipped out her phone, holding it below the desk so their teacher wouldn’t see.

_[1:02] Bi-curious: is everything ok?? Noah said you went home early_

_[1:05] Bi-curious: did you drive yourself home?_

Audrey’s leg bounced furiously as she watched her phone, waiting for some signal that Emma was seeing her texts, even if she didn’t respond. She just wanted her to be okay.

_[1:08] Bi-curious: i know i fucked up i’m sorry i just want to know you’re okay_

“Miss Jensen.”

Audrey looked up to find herself face to face with her English teacher, Mr. Wilson. Her stomach dropped.

“Come on, let’s have it,” he told her, holding his hand out for the phone. “You can have it back after class.”

She groaned and dropped her phone into Mr. Wilson’s palm, covering her face with her hands. How the hell was she supposed to focus on fucking Hemingway today? Fuck that guy.

She got her phone back after class, but fifth and sixth period were both still met with radio silence from Emma. Audrey checked Facebook and Twitter as often as she could, just looking for some sign she was at least logging on, but there was nothing. She sent more desperate messages to Emma on both, and Tumblr as well, even though Emma hardly even used Tumblr.

After school let out, she bolted to her car, waving to Noah and Stavo as she passed them in a hurry. Technically she had a pile of homework that she probably should start working on, but she couldn’t focus. Emma still wasn’t responding and she had half a mind to knock down her door until she had to let her in. But that wouldn’t exactly be helping anything.

She drove to Emma’s house anyway, circling the block like some kind of creep. She almost texted Brooke to call Emma for her, but then she’d have to explain why Emma wasn’t talking to her in the first place, and Audrey didn’t need the silent treatment from both of them on the grounds of her complete ineptitude at handling basic human friendship.

“You know what, Jensen,” she said to herself, parked a few houses down from Emma’s. “It’s okay. Emma just needs some space, and then you can apologize, and everything will be okay again.”

She groaned and let her head fall against the steering wheel in front of her. How could she have fucked up so badly? What the hell had come over her last night? She’d broken her rule. She had always known she could never say those things to Emma, because this exact scenario was going to play out. This was worst-case.

(Okay, she didn't know that kiss was going to happen, but the silent treatment and freeze-out, _absolutely._ She knew Emma’s M.O.)

She lifted her head again and threw her car back into gear, pulling away from the curb. If she was going to spend her entire night in a panic, she was at least going to go get McDonald’s.

By the time the sun started to set, Audrey was starting to think she should just pack it in. There was a dull ache in her chest and she kind of felt like just going home and crawling into bed. She just couldn’t shake the feeling that she needed to make sure Emma was okay, though. She pulled out her phone so she could send one last text.

_[5:37] Bi-curious: i’m worried about you, please say you’re okay_

That was it. She threw her phone to the passenger seat, unable to watch. If she didn’t get a response to this one, then she was just going to head home. She’d probably burn a hole into her rug pacing, but there didn’t seem to be anything else she could do. She was about ready to put her car into drive again when she finally heard her phone go off.

She practically pounced on the phone in her front seat, holding her breath as she woke it up. A text from Emma lit up the screen and Audrey gasped in relief.

_[5:42] Survivor Girl: i’m fine_

Audrey could finally breathe again, and she leaned back in her seat. She reached up to cover her face with one hand, still reeling a little. It was okay, she was okay. She was speaking, at least. She could be pissed, that was fine, just so long as she was okay.

_[5:45] Bi-curious: i’m glad youre okay_

She straightened again after sending off the quick text, setting her phone in the cupholder of the center console of her car. She guessed there wasn’t really any need to stick around, if Emma was okay. She put her car back into gear and started driving away, toward her own house.

The original intent was to go home and start on her homework or something to distract her, but she got barely more than two blocks away before she started looping back around. She wasn’t going back to Emma’s house exactly, but she drove aimlessly, unable to let herself drift too far away. It was like she was on a chain and the other end was tied to Emma’s front yard.

She wasn’t sure exactly how long she’d been driving like that when she heard her phone buzz in the cup holder again. Not expecting it this time, she couldn’t help but jump a little.

_[7:14] Survivor Girl: actually can we talk?_

Audrey didn’t know if she was relieved or grateful or terrified. Maybe a little of all of the above. But talking was good, right? They probably needed to talk.

_[7:15] Bi-curious: yeah of course, i’ll be there soon_

She had to make a conscious effort to keep her breathing steady as she drove the rest of the way to Emma’s house, turning the corner on to the street where she lived. She also remembered this was Emma, who constantly reminded Audrey that she was the kindest, most understanding person she knew. If Emma could forgive her for Piper then this was gonna be fine, right?

 _Right_.

It only took her a few minutes to show up on Emma’s doorstep, a little breathless, her cheeks still pink. Mrs. Duval opened the door to her and she smiled warmly in greeting. “Hi Audrey.”

“Hey, Maggie,” Audrey started, giving Emma’s mom a tight smile.

“Mom, I got it,” came Emma’s voice from behind her mother’s shoulder, pushing forward until she was in view at the doorway. Audrey felt her chest tighten at the sight of her, with her soft blond hair falling around her face and her perpetually pink lips. It was like eighth grade all over again.

“Um, hi.”

“Hey,” Emma returned, her mom having been shooed off. Audrey watched as she nervously tugged at her sleeves. “C’mon, we can talk inside.”

Audrey followed inside and up the stairs to her room. They were quiet on the way up, save for the click of Emma’s door as she shut it behind them. Then they were alone, staring at each other in silence.

“Em, I’m so sorry,” Audrey started, taking a small step closer. “That speech was stupid and I shouldn’t hav–”

“It wasn’t stupid,” Emma cut her off, shaking her head intently. “Don’t apologize for that, please.”

“It wasn’t fair to you,” she insisted. “You were vulnerable and I should’ve known that. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

Emma leaned back against the door, staring at the carpet in front of her, lips pursed. “What if I want it to happen again, Audrey?”

It was like all of the air inside of her suddenly rushed out of her body, white spots forming at the fringes of her vision. She knew what Emma had just said, but she couldn’t quite parse what that meant. “What?”

Emma bit her lip again, stepping forward until she was close enough to touch Audrey. She reached up to smooth her hair and fixed the collar on her plaid shirt. When she spoke again her voice was barely above a whisper. “I don’t know what happened last night, but I’m not sorry.”

Audrey stared at Emma, ready for the floor to tilt and dump them both into a pit, just like her nightmares for the past three months. “You’re not.”

Emma shook her head, finally letting her hands rest on Audrey’s face. “I think I want to know what this is, Audrey.”

Audrey shivered, releasing her breath in a shudder. Her hands found Emma’s waist again, curling gently into her cardigan. She tilted her chin up to Emma slowly, not quite letting their lips meet, breath mingling.

It was Emma who bridged that last gap, brushing her lips over Audrey’s like she was testing her. Her fingers slowly curled into Audrey’s hair and a moan escaped her, soft enough that Audrey almost missed it.

Audrey sighed, her fingers running along Emma’s spine, daring to pull her a little closer. Emma’s eager answer was to press more firmly to Audrey, swiping her pink tongue across Audrey’s bottom lip. She stepped backward, a little off balance and taking Emma with her. The back of her legs hit the edge of Emma’s bed and her knees buckled. She landed on the bed, staring up at Emma with flushed cheeks.

Emma wordlessly knelt, her knees on either side of Audrey’s hips, straddling her and settling close as she nudged her nose to Audrey’s. It was almost a question.

Audrey let her hands land on Emma’s waist, still keeping them somewhere polite, and she tilted her head to meet Emma’s lips again. She’d imagined this dozens of time, in this very room, on this exact bed. It was enough to make her head spin. But she was eager for whatever this was, to show Emma what this meant to her.

As they kissed, at some point they had wound up lying next to each other on Emma’s bed, slowly exploring what they dared of each other. When they finally stilled, holding onto each other and their lips a mere breath apart, Audrey still couldn’t totally believe what had just happened. It still felt like a dream.

“Em,” she murmured, her eyes barely halfway open, peering at Emma through her eyelashes. “Is this what you had in mind when you said you wanted to talk?”

“Not… exactly,” Emma admitted with a shy smile. She slowly ran her hands through Audrey’s hair, continually messing it only to smooth it out again. “I’m not really sure if I had a plan.”

“Fair.” Audrey breathed in deeply, the smell of Emma’s shampoo and light perfume filling her senses. “It’s okay if you don’t know. What this all means.”

Emma bit her lip, watching Audrey closely. “Did you know back then? That… That you liked girls?”

“I knew I liked you,” Audrey told her sincerely. “I didn’t start figuring out it might not be totally exclusive until after we stopped hanging out. I still don’t really know all that much, yet. It’s not like there’s an instruction manual.”

“God, that would make things so much easier.”

Audrey laughed, shaking her head. “Yeah, you kind of have to learn on the job.”

“I still don’t… I mean, I’ve never been with a girl before, this is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Audrey reminded her again. She sat up and reached to tuck Emma’s hair behind her ear. “I’m starting to think nobody’s got it all figured out.”

“Yeah, except for Brooke, probably,” Emma laughed. “I swear it's like she's always got all the answers.”

 _Brooke_. Audrey felt like she’d been punched in the gut.

“Yeah,” she said, suddenly pulling away from Emma and sitting up. Her hair was still a mess and her cheeks were pink and she hardly felt like she could drive safely, but she needed to get out before she could do something worse. She needed to leave. “Hey, I’m sorry. I just realized I have something due tomorrow, and I still need to finish it. I gotta… call Noah. Um, he has some of my notes.”

Emma sat up, confused. “Oh. Okay, of course.”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated herself, moving to the door. She hesitated, her hand on the doorknob. There was no question that she had just totally fucked up, but Emma still looked like something out of a movie. Her hair was a little messier than before and there was a blush on her cheeks, a smile on her lips. Despite everything, it still put a flutter in her chest. “I’ll… I’ll see you tomorrow?”

The smile on Emma’s face widened and she nodded, standing up up so she could cross the room to Audrey’s side once again. “Yeah, okay.”

Audrey should have left then, but she lingered a moment longer, still in a bit of a daze. It was long enough to let Emma steal one more kiss, and Audrey hated herself even as she leaned into it.

“I'll see you tomorrow, Audrey.”

Audrey stared at her a moment longer before she bolted, practically running to her car. Emma deserved better. God, _Brooke_ deserved better. She was a garbage friend and piece of shit human being and she should never talk to anyone ever again. That was the only solution.

She hadn’t even been able to put her seatbelt on when her phone buzzed in her pocket. She hoped it was Noah because she really needed to talk to him.

_[8:41] Scream Queen: make sure u check ur snaps while you’re alone ;)_

Her dad had told her more than a few times that she was going to be punished for turning against God, but honestly, this was not what she had expected. She was pretty sure this wasn't what he was thinking, either.

Audrey swallowed a hard lump in her throat as she pulled open Snapchat only to find picture after picture of Brooke in increasingly extreme states of undress. Screw ‘not safe for work,’ this wasn’t safe for _anyone_ , least of all Audrey’s blood pressure.

_Thanks, Jesus._

 

* * *

 

Audrey didn’t know how she managed to make it through school the next day. Emma kept sending her knowing smiles and blushing behind her books while Noah was starting to get exponentially more annoyed that he didn’t know what the hell was going on. Stavo was also there, of course, and for once Audrey was actually pretty glad he was. He was basically her one oblivious lifeline and she was strongly considering sending him a basket of fruit later as a thank you.

She knew she couldn’t wait on this one, so she was already at Brooke’s place by the time the cab arrived to drop her off from the airport. She felt a little sick, but she had to do the right thing. No more secrets, no more running away. Brooke _had_ wanted her to learn her lesson, after all.

 _“Audrey!”_ Brooke beamed, striding through the front door like it was a freaking catwalk. She left the cabbie to unload her bags, instead hurrying to throw herself into Audrey’s arms.

It was probably the last time she was going to be able to enjoy this, she may as well let herself hold onto Brooke just a little longer.

“Thank you for bringing those in, just leave them here in the foyer,” Brooke told the cabbie, extracting herself from Audrey’s arms so she could hand the guy some cash and usher him out of the house.

She stood at the doorway, making sure the driver was really gone before turning on Audrey like she was prey. This was probably going to be harder than she thought.

“Ugh, thank god he’s gone,” Brooke said, reaching for Audrey’s hand. “I have so much I want to show you.”

“Brooke,” Audrey protested as she was dragged upstairs. “I think we should ta–”

“God, New York was _amazing_ , you would have loved it,” Brooke gushed, pulling Audrey into her room. She grinned as she rounded on Audrey, reaching to grasp onto the front of her shirt. “Maybe next time I’ll drag you with me, hm?”

It sounded incredible, but it was never going to happen. Not now. “Brooke, I have to tell you something.”

Brooke dropped her grin, suddenly worried. “Is everything okay? Is Emma alright?”

“Well…”

“Audrey, tell me what happened.”

“Emma’s fine,” Audrey reassured her, watching relief spread across Brooke’s features. “Physically, anyway. Look, there’s no good way to say this so I’m just going to say it. Emma and I kissed last night.”

Realization hit Brooke and she blinked at Audrey, her expression unreadable. “Is that all?”

“Um. Yes?”

“Jesus Christ, Audrey,” Brooke scolded, shoving her away. “I thought someone had _died_. You could warn a girl first.”

This didn't make any sense. “Wait, you’re not mad?” Audrey asked, confused.

“Why would I be mad? It's about time. I’m sick of watching you two pine after each other during life or death situations,” Brooke replied, practical as ever. “Now help me decide what to wear tomorrow. I picked up a few pieces in the city.”

Audrey was completely flabbergasted, standing stock still at the edge of Brooke’s room as she watched Brooke pull off her shirt to exchange it for what Audrey assumed was one of the new ones from her carry-on bag. “I think I need a second, because I’m just really confused right now. You’re _not_ mad.”

Brooke rolled her eyes, standing in front of her mirror so she could tug and pull the new shirt into just the right place. “No, we've talked about this, Audrey. I’m totally fine with it as long as she’s okay with you and I.”

“Uh,” Audrey stammered. “About that…”

“Audrey, you didn’t _tell her?”_

“You know, a lot happened last night, okay?” Audrey protested, trying to explain herself. “I didn’t really get the chance to go over the minute details of how many times I’ve fucked you over the past month.”

“You _have_ to tell her,” Brooke demanded, her hands on her hips. “I swear to god, Audrey, if you don’t tell her I will. It’s _time.”_

“I’ll tell her,” Audrey promised, holding her hands out in defense. “I promise. I wanted to talk to you first.”

“Good,” Brooke agreed, turning back to the mirror so she could fix her hair. “You have until midnight before I tell her myself. Now, hand me that other shirt in my bag, will you?”

 

* * *

 

Audrey was a little pissed at Brooke for giving her a deadline, but she couldn’t deny it was effective. After catching up with Brooke and hearing all about her big adventure in the big city, she promised to head straight to Emma’s to talk. She sent a text as soon as she slipped into the front seat of her beater, giving Emma a heads up.

_[6:21] Bi-curious: hey we should talk. i’m at brooke’s right now but give me 15m?_

_[6:24] Survivor Girl: yeah of course! I’ll see you soon :)_

That little fucking smiley face was mocking her, she knew it.

Audrey groaned, hitting her head against the steering wheel before pulling out of Brooke’s unnecessarily extravagant driveway, blasting as much heavy metal as she could find on her iPhone to try and block out her anxiety. She wasn’t speeding _that_ badly, but she had to keep herself in check the entire way to Emma’s house. She didn’t even understand why she was speeding, it wasn’t like she was especially looking forward to this conversation. This seemed to be happening to her a lot, lately.

She took a moment in her car to steel herself before approaching Emma’s front door. She barely had to knock before Emma’s face appeared at the door, a little flush and pink in her cheeks. She gave Audrey a smile that tugged at her chest and, for a moment, silenced all the worry and noise flying around her head.

“Hey,” Emma greeted, reaching for Audrey’s hand. “C’mon, we can talk upstairs.”

“Y-yeah, okay,” Audrey agreed. The scene was incredibly familiar, being pulled up to Emma’s room to ‘talk,’ only this time she had an idea of Emma’s motives. They’d see if she would still have the same intentions after hearing what Audrey had to say.

As soon as they were both inside Emma’s room, she closed the door behind them, locking it. Audrey made sure to stand a little further away from Emma than she might normally.

“Um,” Audrey started, her hands in her back pockets. “Maybe you should sit down.”

Emma furrowed her brows, starting to look a little concerned. She sat down on the edge of her bed. “Is everything okay? Is Brooke alright?”

“Oh, yeah,” Audrey assured her, a little bitterly amused about the irony of it. “Brooke is great, she had a really great time in New York. It’s just…”

“Audrey, it’s okay,” Emma prodded, “You can tell me anything, you know that. Whatever it is, it doesn’t change anything.”

Audrey’s heart sank. Emma was way too good for her, and she really wanted to believe those words.

“Look,” she started, carding her hand through her short hair. “I’ve kept things from you in the past and it almost destroyed us. I’m not willing to let that happen again.”

“Of course.”

“Um,” she stammered, trying to piece together her thoughts. “You know Brooke. You probably know her better than I do, and you know she uses sex to cope. It works for her, regardless of if you wanna argue about whether it’s healthy or not.”

Audrey could see Emma trying to make sense of what she was saying, to piece together bits and scraps into a full picture.

“What are you saying?”

“Brooke and I have been sleeping together for a while now.” Audrey spit it out, avoiding Emma’s gaze. “It started after she broke up with Stavo, she couldn’t sleep and she called me and…”

“Yeah,” Emma replied quietly before she could finish, getting the picture.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you,” Audrey apologized again, moving to sit next to her on the bed.

“No, I should have picked up on it,” Emma said with a soft laugh of disbelief. “It makes total sense, you guys have been spending a lot of time together.”

“Are you upset?” Audrey asked, hanging her head.

Emma released a big sigh. “I mean… Mostly just that you didn’t tell me when it’s been going on this long. Why would I be mad at you? Brooke is a really great girl, of course I’m not mad about that.”

“Yeah, she really is,” Audrey agreed, chewing on her lip.

“And also, a little mad at myself just because I didn’t notice anything. You guys are my best friends, I feel like I should have been able notice something like that.”

“No, Em,” she looked up, shaking her head, “You’re a _great_ friend, we worked really hard to make sure things wouldn’t be weird for you. And I was going to tell you, soon. I just didn’t know what was happening for so long and I didn’t really know how to explain it. By the time I did, it felt like I had waited too long so it was intimidating.”

“Well,” Emma replied, giving her an almost teasing smile as she bumped shoulders with her. “You _definitely_ waited too long, but…”

Audrey perked up, her chest feeling a little light. “... But?”

“Audrey, I meant it when I said that it doesn’t change anything for me. I don’t want to stop.”

She blinked at that, her head reeling. “I’ll… I’ll tell Brooke. I’ll call her and let her know we can’t do it anymore. I think she’ll understand, and–”

 _“No,”_ Emma interrupted, shaking her head. She bit down on her bottom and reached up to touch Audrey’s cheek, gentle. “I don’t want to stop you from being with Brooke, either. That would be selfish of me, and I really think she needs you. I haven't seen her like this since Jake. But…”

Audrey’s heart leapt into her throat. Was she even breathing anymore? She felt like she was going to pass out. “But what?”

“I need you too.”

Never in a million years did Audrey think she was going to be here, on Emma's bed, behind a locked door and hearing those words from her. _I need you._ It struck her like a bell, ringing throughout her entire body. She leaned into Emma’s hand on her cheek and then into her waiting mouth, eager to taste her again.

Emma was, unsurprisingly, astonishingly sweet. She had been the first two times they kissed too, but this time it really hit her. Before she'd been too preoccupied with the fact that this was even _happening_ that she barely had the chance to notice anything. This time she was going to take fucking notes.

Audrey felt Emma groan softly against her mouth, letting her fingers pull through the the short hair at the nape of Audrey’s neck. She leaned back, taking Audrey with her as she backed up on her bed, her head meeting pillows.

All Audrey could do was follow her ardently, fervently as she desperately tried to keep up. She held herself above Emma, one hand roaming across expanse of her waist and stomach, skirting just beyond anything too dangerous.

Noticing this, Emma pressed herself to Audrey, not wanting to shy away or hesitate. She bit down on Audrey’s bottom lip, not nearly enough to hurt, but enough to get her attention.

“Don't tell me you're scared,” Emma whispered between kisses, one hand toying with the hem of Audrey’s shirt.

“Of you?” Audrey responded, shivering as she stole another kiss. _“Terrified.”_

Emma shook her head and took Audrey’s hand in her own, slowly pushing it upward on her ribcage. “Don't be.”

Audrey stared down at Emma, almost reverently. She inched her hand upward, taking her time. She wasn't going to rush this, they had all night and this was _Emma_. She wasn't eager to skip straight to just the best parts, Emma was worth savoring.

She stooped to catch Emma’s lips again, kissing her softly as she got braver with her hands, fingertips running along the underwire of her bra and–

Her phone dinged from her pocket, notifying her of an incoming text.

“... We’re ignoring that,” Audrey insisted, looking up at Emma for half a second before she dove back in. This time she let her fingertips sneak underneath the edge of Emma’s shirt, slowly pushing it above her waist.

Her phone went off again, notifying her of several notifications coming in all at the same time.

Emma broke away, her brows furrowed in concern. “That's weird, right? Maybe you should check it.”

“Emma, I am literally _this_ close to seeing your boobs,” Audrey told her very seriously, looking her directly in the eyes. “Do you have any idea how monumental this is for me?”

 _“Audrey,”_ Emma protested, unable to stop herself from smiling just a little, even as she pretended to be scandalized.

“Fucking _Mount Rushmore,_ okay?”

Audrey groaned loudly in annoyance as the beginning chimes of her ringtone began to sound, reluctantly sitting up on Emma’s bed and reaching for her phone. “I swear to god Noah, someone had better be dead.”

“Hey, don't joke about that,” Emma scolded, sitting up to find her own phone on the nearby nightstand. Apparently she had missed some notifications as well.

Brooke’s voice cut through on the other end of the line as Audrey answered, a note of panic in her tone.

_“Audrey, are you with Emma?”_

Audrey furrowed her brows and glanced at Emma as she scrolled through the notifications on her phone. “Uh, _yeah_. You know, doing what you told me to do.”

_“You need to stop her from going on the internet right now. I don’t care what you do, just stop her.”_

“Brooke, what the hell,” she shot back, confused. She pulled her phone away from her ear so she could take a look at the texts she’d received. There were about half a dozen from Noah all sent in tight succession.

_[7:11] Ex-virgin: gawker got Emma’s sex tape_

_[7:11] Ex-virgin: I have no idea how they got it but they did. Brooke and I are trying to get it taken down_

_[7:12] Ex-virgin: I thought maybe you should be the one to tell her???_

_[7:12] Ex-virgin: is she with you? what’s going on_

Audrey blinked at her phone in disbelief. Brooke was still on the line and Audrey could barely make out her muffled voice. She put the receiver back to her ear.

“I just got Noah’s texts, I’m on it.”

_“Noah and I are working on it on our end too, just make sure she finds out from you.”_

“I… Have over a hundred facebook friend requests and three thousand twitter notifications,” Emma said from where she was still staring at her phone.

Audrey hung up with Brooke and immediately leapt onto the bed so she could snatch Emma’s phone away. She tossed it to the other corner of the room like it was poisonous, reaching out to take Emma by her arms.

“Hey, uh,” Audrey started, holding her firmly. “About that.”

“Audrey, what’s happening?” Emma demanded, glancing toward her phone which was now out of her reach.

“I’m gonna tell you. I’m gonna tell you right now, and everything’s gonna be okay.”

“That’s not really helping, Audrey,” Emma argued, visibly starting to panic a little.

“It got out again, the video with Will,” Audrey told her, still holding onto her as tightly as she dared. She watched as Emma’s face paled with realization. “But, look at me, Noah and Brooke are working on getting it taken down right now. It’ll be okay.”

“Oh my _god…”_ Emma collapsed into herself, covering her face with her hands. “I can’t believe this is happening again.”

Audrey wrapped her arms around Emma’s shoulders, pulling her tight against her chest protectively. She wished she knew what to say to make this better. And she wished she could physically kick someone’s ass for this.

“I’m so sorry, Emma.”

Emma buried her face in Audrey’s neck, both of them laying against the pillows on her bed. Audrey could feel her skin was wet underneath Emma’s cheeks. She closed her eyes, her own cheek pressed to Emma’s forehead, letting her cry as she slowly stroked her back. She wished she could do more, but at least Emma didn’t have to do this alone.

“Audrey, can I ask you something?”

Audrey frowned as she peered down at Emma in her arms. “Yeah, of course you can. Anything, remember?”

Emma pulled away, just enough so she could look Audrey in the face. “Did you ever watch it?”

“No,” Audrey told her, sincere. She reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind Emma’s ear. “I don’t think I could sit through it without throwing up even if, for whatever demented reason, I wanted to.”

Emma nodded, seeming to accept that, before settling against Audrey’s chest again. She was quiet for a few more moments before she spoke up again. “Will you stay?”

“Of course. I’m not gonna make you be alone tonight if you don’t want to be.”

“I don’t want to be alone,” Emma assured her, her voice trembling a little.

“Then I’ll stay. I’ll text my dad, it’ll be okay.”

“Okay, yeah,” she nodded, still tucked under Audrey's chin. “You can wear one of my shirts or something. I’ve got pajamas you can borrow.”

Under any other circumstances, it would have been a fucking dream. It still kind of was, in some ways, despite one major damper on the night. But Audrey couldn’t ignore how much it excited her to think about sleeping in Emma’s bed and wear a shirt that smelled like her. Even if that’s all it was or ever would be, it was enough to give her inner eighth-grade self a heart attack.

Once Emma felt good enough to get up they both changed and explained to Emma’s mom that Audrey was going to stay over. Audrey insisted she needed a night away from her house and Maggie Duval went into full mom mode, even agreeing to call her dad for her. She felt a little guilty lying to Maggie like that, but it was better than trying to explain what had actually happened, even if she was bound to find out sooner or later.

Back in bed, Emma managed to find the same spot tucked up under Audrey’s chin. Audrey wasn’t totally sure how long exactly it took her to fall asleep, but she was out by the time she heard her phone start buzzing again.

She reached over to the nightstand to grab for it as fast as she could, trying not to move too much and wake Emma.

“Brooke, hey,” Audrey answered quietly. She kept an eye on Emma’s sleeping form, hoping this wasn’t enough to wake her.

_“Hey, sorry this is so late, I’m just leaving Noah’s place now. I don’t how the hell he does it, but he worked his techno-magic and broke Gawker’s website somehow. It probably won’t last, but I’m gonna call the lawyer my father’s estate has on retainer tomorrow. He’ll take care of them, or he’ll know someone who can. There’s no way they can keep that up, not when they’re both minors and one of them is dead. Are you still with Emma?”_

“Yeah, she asked me to stay,” she explained, her chest tightening a little. She still wasn’t really sure how to navigate this, whatever this was. “She didn’t want to be alone.”

_“Good, she needs you right now.”_

Audrey released a sardonic laugh, shaking her head. “You know, she said the same thing about you.”

_“What do you mean?”_

“Earlier, before you called me. I told her.”

_“Good, I was a little worried I’d have to do it for you.”_

“Yeah, I know.”

_“So what did she say? You sounded pretty distracted when I called.”_

Audrey reached up to move her hand over her head, gripping her hair lightly. “She said she didn’t want to be selfish and take me from you.”

_“That’s nice of her. Is that why you were all breathless when you picked up?”_

For the record, Audrey still hated Brooke sometimes. “Not exactly. She said she didn’t want to stop either.”

 _“Look at you, Audrey Jensen.”_ Audrey could hear the amusement in her voice, go figure. It was like Brooke had planned this somehow. _“So everything worked out, just like I told you.”_

“You did tell me, yes,” Audrey deadpanned. “Don’t tell me how it worked out, but it did. For now, anyway.”

_“And she’s okay with everything?”_

“I think she’s worried about other things right now,” Audrey pointed out, sending another worried glance Emma’s way. “But I guess she seemed okay, before.”

Audrey chewed on her lip, still trying to make sense of everything. At this point it felt like her life was a really strange, really unstable roller coaster. “Brooke…”

_“Mm?”_

“Are _you_ really okay with this?”

Audrey heard Brooke sigh on the other end and she could picture her perfectly, looking impeccable and drop dead gorgeous and rolling her eyes at how Audrey was asking her this yet again. _“I told you, yes I am. I promise. Look, I don’t want to stop what we have. Quite frankly, Audrey, you’re the best sex I’ve had in a really long time and I’m not willing to give up on that if I can help it. But fuck, I’m not heartless. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, the way you stare back like an abandoned puppy. It’s cute, actually. A little gross, but adorable.”_

“But how could you know? Emma didn’t even know.”

_“Please, I have eyes. But we can talk about this more later, I actually want to try and sleep a little tonight. So should you.”_

Audrey sighed, nodding even though Brooke couldn’t see it. “Yeah okay. I’ll talk to you later. Hey, Brooke?”

_“Yes, Audrey?”_

“Thanks for saying that I’m the best lay you’ve had.”

_“Yeah, don’t let it go to your head, Jensen. Goodnight.”_

Audrey put her phone away, back on the nightstand, a small smile on her lips. Maybe the world would go back to making sense in the morning, but god, she really hoped it didn’t. She settled next to Emma again, who groaned sleepily and shifted a little closer. Yeah, she was okay with nothing making sense if it meant this could be real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys stay tuned for more over-dramatic gays in the meantime come bug us on tumblr at [chiltongirlsdoitbetter](http://chiltongirlsdoitbetter.tumblr.com/) and [dickryders](http://dickryders.tumblr.com/)!


	4. breathe out, so i can breathe you in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey gang, happy new year! here's some fluff to start 2017 out right
> 
> as always, so many thanks to our betas [explosionshark](http://explosionshark.tumblr.com/) and [seekingoutfriday](http://seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com/) cause they both freaking rock

Audrey nearly ripped Noah’s door off as she burst into his room.

It had been almost exactly one day since she had told both Brooke and Emma everything and it was like the entire world had gone insane. Audrey shared three classes with both of them, and then one class each alone, and every time she managed to glance at either of them it was like they were purposely trying to ruin her. Brooke would send her knowing looks and inappropriate texts and bite her lip while she watched Audrey read them. It drove her nuts that Brooke knew exactly what she was doing, and she was pretty certain that Brooke was getting off on it, too.

And on the other end of the spectrum there was Emma, sweet and wholesome Emma, who still didn’t even fully know what she wanted from Audrey. She blushed each time their fingers brushed past another as they handed each other papers and all it did was make Audrey want to kiss her pink cheeks and her dimples. It was such a stark contrast that Audrey swore she was getting whiplash.

(Never mind the fact that this was all happening in the middle of the Gawker fallout. Audrey had nearly punched someone at least five different times by lunch.)

“How the _fuck_ do you handle having a dick?” she practically shouted at Noah, using his dresser to steady herself. “Because I swear to god, if I had a penis I would be waving _at least_ half mast twenty-four-seven.”

“Okay, first of all,” Noah started, his voice breaking a little at Audrey’s abrupt and inappropriate entrance. “If that happened, you would need to see _a doctor._ Erections should definitely not last that long. So congratulations on not having a penis, I guess? Second of all, _hi?”_

“Brooke and Emma are going to kill me,” Audrey continued, waving right past his words. “I’m telling you right now, if you find me dead, it’s because of the two of them.”

“That doesn’t seem very in-character for either of them. They’re not _really_ the murdering types, though I suppose that would be a fitting third-act plot twist.”

Audrey stepped up to his desk, leaning over it with both hands planted firmly atop it. “Listen to me, I don’t know how this happened, but suddenly I’m having sex with Brooke one day and the next day Emma has her hand up my shirt and I don’t even know how to explain–”

About halfway through what she was trying to say, she caught sight of Noah’s bed. Or, more accurately, who was currently occupying it. There laid Stavo Acosta, all creepy machismo and bedroom eyes as he lazily sketched in his notebook.

“Oh, don’t stop on my account,” he chimed in, smirking up at her with his stupid face. “Please continue, it was just getting good.”

Audrey whirled on Noah, her eyes on fire. She was going to punch someone, possibly Noah, almost definitely Stavo. _“What is he doing here?”_

“Hey, don't look at me,” Noah objected. “You’re the one who hulked through my door just now. I don't even know if it has hinges anymore. But seriously, can we back up a little bit? You're doing _what_ exactly with Brooke and Emma?”

Audrey huffed, pushing off from Noah’s desk to pace in front of his door. “Sex, Noah. I know you’re not super familiar with it but–”

“Uh, _hey?”_

“But I really need you to focus right now. Brooke and Emma, for whatever reason, are both okay with this. They know, and are even kind of encouraging it, I think? I can’t even tell anymore because I can’t fucking think straight.”

“Yeah, well,” Noah quipped, swiveling a little in his desk chair. “Bi-curious, and all. Though somehow I think that we've graduated beyond the ‘curious’ part of that.”

“Noah, I am very close to all of your extremely nice, expensive computer shit right now.”

“Alright, _alright,”_ Noah stood up, protectively holding his arms out over his desk. “I think, that maybe it’s time to take a few breaths, okay? What happened?”

Audrey pulled out her phone, displaying a string of texts to him.

_[4:36] Scream Queen: u should take emma out tonight_

_[4:36] Scream Queen: call it intuition but i think it could be a good idea ;)_

_[4:38] Bi-curious: tonight? where are you going?_

_[4:41] Scream Queen: we're sharing u and i'm giving up custody tonight cause I got a party to hit with some columbia kids on fall break. so show her a good time, k?_

“Whoah,” Noah stammered, blinked at the phone in disbelief.

“You see what I mean?” Audrey pleaded with him, putting her phone back away in her pocket just in case Brooke decided to send her something else that she didn’t necessarily want to Noah to see. “It’s like they’re doing this on purpose.”

“Well, um,” began Noah, still looking like he was trying to fit all the pieces together. He seemed to be coming up a little short. Audrey knew the feeling. “I guess that depends on if you think they’re capable of that.”

“Okay, Brooke, sure,” Audrey conceded, nodding. “But Emma?”

“When did this even happen?”

Audrey heaved a big sigh, running her hands through her hair absently. “I don’t know, last night? God, yeah. It really was just last night.”

“During the _Gawker thing?_ Jesus, Audrey.”

 _“Before,_ okay,” Audrey protested, offended. “I’m not that much of an asshole.”

“Well okay, fine,” Noah waved a hand, bidding her to continue. “So before, then. What happened?”

“Well, you know about me and Brooke, right?”

“Right.”

“When she left for New York, things just kind of... happened with Emma and I.”

Noah narrowed his eyes at her, folding his arms across his chest. “Okay.”

“I had to tell Brooke, right? So, when she got home I told her everything, and she was… fine with it. Somehow.”

Noah stared at her silently, tilting his head at her.

“Look, don’t ask me why, but she was. She just wanted to make sure that Emma was okay with it too, only… I kind of, um. Hadn’t told her yet, because everything was happening so fast and I thought I should talk to Brooke first.”

“And now you’re gonna tell me that when you told Emma everything she was totally cool with it too and everything's just hunky-dory.”

Audrey spread her arms wide, shaking them at the air like that would somehow make her point for her. _“I guess?!”_

“Yeah, okay. I really don’t know how to help you with this one, Audrey,” he shook his head, sitting back down again. “This is totally beyond me, I’m sorry.”

Audrey groaned, covering her face with her hands. She didn’t know what she had expected.

“You know.” Stavo’s even voice invaded her headspace, and she lowered her hands just enough to glare at him. “It kind of sounds to me like you’re worrying about this a lot more than you need to. You said it yourself, right? They’re cool with it.”

“Wow, thanks Stavo. I can’t believe I didn’t think to just not worry about it,” Audrey gritted out through clenched teeth. “It’s not like _you_ have any stake in this, right?”

“C’mon, you know I was out of the picture before you rolled around,” Stavo countered, flipping his notebook shut. “Besides, if you really think that I care about Brooke then maybe you’ll believe me when I say she doesn’t take this stuff as lightly as she wants you to think she does. She and I both knew we were just passing through, at the time. We helped each other when we needed it, and now it sounds like maybe she needs you. But what do I know?”

Audrey stared at Stavo, expressionless, for several seconds before turning on her heel. “Yeah, I need to leave now.”

“Is this what having an aneurysm feels like?” Noah wondered aloud, squinting.

“I don’t know, but if you figure that out please feel free to text me,” Audrey muttered on her way out, waving as she shut the door behind her. She just hoped that something would start making sense before she saw Emma that night.

 

* * *

 

Emma had agreed to go out with her, on an official date, or something. Audrey didn’t know what to call it exactly and she wasn’t expecting to figure things out any time soon, at this rate. Regardless, her happiness at the prospect of a real, genuine date with Emma far outweighed any lingering confusion.

She picked Emma up right at seven, waving to Mrs. Duval from the doorstep before they escaped to her car. They drove to the next town over to the drive-in to watch a shitty movie that neither of them really cared about. As they settled in the back seat of Audrey’s wagon, Emma made it a point to sit close, leaning into Audrey as she stole a piece of licorice from the box in her lap.

“Hey,” Audrey complained, a grin on her face. “Who said I was sharing?”

“I did,” Emma replied, matter-of-fact. She bit the end off of her red string of licorice in Audrey’s face, gloating. “Got a problem with that?”

“Maybe,” she said, tilting her head curiously at Emma.

“Mm, that sounds like something you should probably deal with.” Emma cocked an eyebrow at her, challenging.

It felt strange, seeing Emma this way, being on the receiving end of something like this. It was exciting, sure, _hell yeah._ But this was still Emma.

“Em…”

Emma’s smile dropped, suddenly concerned. “What is it, did I do something wrong? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I just thought–”

“No no, please, Emma,” Audrey shook her head, stopping her. She reached up to hold onto Emma’s bicep in what she hoped was a soothing gesture. “Believe me, this is all I could have ever wanted. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

Emma frowned a little, her lips in a small pout that Audrey very much wanted to kiss away. “Then… Is it Brooke? Because if you’re having second thoughts…”

“It’s not Brooke,” Audrey promised, then paused. “Okay, it’s a little bit Brooke, but not how you think. I just… I guess I feel like I’m still trying to catch up. I didn’t exactly prepare for this.”

Emma sighed, leaning back against the seat, though not really pulling away either. “That’s probably fair. This all happened pretty fast.”

“You’re telling me,” came Audrey’s retort, slouching against the seat next to Emma. “I just want to be sure that you’re okay. Brooke too.”

“You know,” Emma replied, chewing on her bottom lip and playing with the red licorice in her hand. “She and I talked today, after school.”

So that was what prompted Brooke’s text. Audrey should have guessed. “You did?”

“Yeah, it actually cleared up a lot of things.”

Audrey didn’t know what to say to that, so she just watched as Emma turned to her, on pins and needles as she waited for Emma to speak again.

“That speech, in the park,” Emma started again, looking down at her hands and then at Audrey’s lips, then finally her eyes. “I’m pretty sure it would’ve worked when we were fourteen, too.”

Audrey’s eyebrows knitted together, questioning, her lips open in a soft ‘oh.’ “You mean…?”

Emma nodded, chewing on her lip nervously. She dropped the licorice she'd been holding and moved the rest of the box to the seat next to them so her legs could take its place in Audrey’s lap. “Maybe that means I like girls, or maybe it just means I like you. I’m sorry it took me so long to get a clue.”

Audrey shook her head, reaching to pull Emma in by the back of her neck and kiss her. She was out of words. Feelings and emotions, she had plenty of, but not nearly enough words to express them. So she kissed Emma fiercely, aching for the taste of licorice on her tongue.

And Emma met her eagerly, proving to be far more fearless than Audrey would have thought, though she probably shouldn’t have been surprised. This was Emma Duval, Survivor Girl, her _best friend._ Once Emma put her mind to something, she had never been anything but full-throttle about it. So when Emma started pushing off her jacket, she wasn’t about to say no.

Audrey shucked off her jacket, tugging at Emma’s cardigan next. Emma broke away from their kiss long enough to toss it aside, moving so she could straddle Audrey’s hips when she came back. A small grin tugged at her lips as she settled close, her hands at the base of Audrey’s neck.

Biting her lip, Audrey set her own hands on Emma’s hips, pushing her fingertips underneath Emma’s thin button-up and slowly upward.

Emma smiled and nodded, encouraging. She bent to plant another kiss on Audrey's lips, curling her fingers into the collar of her shirt.

A gasp escaped Audrey's throat and she pressed against Emma, her hips tilting upward almost involuntarily. She pushed her hands up Emma’s back, along the bare skin of her waist until she met the lacy edge of Emma’s bra.

Emma nodded again, pressing closer yet, into Audrey's hands. If Audrey didn’t know how to pick up on that signal than she was worse than Noah.

Now was definitely not the time to think about Noah.

Audrey let go of Emma’s waist to reach for the buttons on her shirt, fumbling a little about halfway through. She kissed her way down Emma’s neck to try and mask her own nerves, offering a soft moan as she scraped her teeth across Emma’s clavicle, who could only gasp in response. She felt fingers curl around the back of her neck, tightening their grasp on her.

As the last button fell open, Audrey released a shaky breath, her hands on Emma’s waist and exploring her skin. Her thumb gingerly ran across the deep scar on her side, and she looked up at Emma to catch her eyes.

“I still kind of hate it,” Emma admitted, shying away from her gaze.

“Yeah, I get it,” Audrey told her softly, thumb still edging along the scar. “But it's not… It doesn't define you. It'll fade and heal and maybe someday it'll be gone completely. Maybe not, but it's not what I see when I look at you.”

“So, what do you see?” Emma murmured, her eyes alight. She had her hands in Audrey's hair again, playing with the curtain of black fringe that fell to one side of her face.

Audrey laughed, her cheeks flush. “I mean, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how beautiful you are, Emma.”

“It doesn’t hurt.”

Audrey stared up at her, her skin practically glowing in the flickering light of the movie screen behind her. She didn't want to hesitate, but...

Emma furrowed her brows. “What is it?”

“I don’t want to do this here,” Audrey admitted and shook her head, her thumbs still rubbing against Emma’s skin.

Emma dropped her gaze, letting out a disappointed sigh. “Right.”

“No no, Emma, I _want this_ . I want this— _you_ —very much,” Audrey argued. She reached up to hold Emma’s chin, gentle. “It’s just that I’ve been thinking about this for literal years and I don’t want to do this in the back of my shitty car. I want to do this right.”

That seemed to curtail Emma’s concerns. She nodded, leaning in to steal a kiss. “That’s… understandable. Actually, it's probably a good thing, ‘cause I think one of the attendants might be coming to check on us.”

“Oh, _fuck.”_ Audrey shot a look behind her before reaching for the buttons on Emma’s shirt, trying to redo as many as she could before slipping out from under her. She launched herself toward the driver’s seat, turning the ignition.

“Audrey, we’re not gonna stay for the rest of the movie?”

“Really?” Audrey countered, smirking as Emma joined her in the front seat. She hooked the old drive-in speaker back onto its post so they could leave without causing property damage. “C’mon, the girl saves the world, gets the guy, and then they kiss. Happily ever after.”

“I know,” Emma pouted, fixing her buttons. “It’s just… I don't really get a happy ending, so fictional ones are kind of the next best thing.”

Audrey turned to look at her, with her hair all a mess and her buttons still uneven. “Fuck, okay. We’re gonna go somewhere, just me and you, okay?”

She turned around and backed out of their space at the drive-in, accidentally peeling out as she put the car back into drive.

“Where’s the nearest place we can go?” Audrey asked, trying to wrack her brain. She didn’t want to pay for some crappy hotel room or risk one of their parents finding them.

“You know,” Emma turned to her, slipping a hand atop Audrey’s thigh. “We’re not that far away from the stables.”

Audrey threw her a surprised glance, trying to focus on the road ahead of her, with increasing difficulty. At least it was fairly late and small towns died pretty early, so traffic wasn’t an issue. “You sure you really want to go there?”

“As long as we stayed outside, yeah, I think so.”

“Okay,” Audrey agreed, giving her a small smile. She grabbed Emma’s hand, squeezing it. “If you’re sure. I don’t want to pressure you, Emma.”

“No, I’m ready,” Emma insisted. She pulled Audrey’s hand close to her chest and kissed the top of it. “I’m ready to start making some good memories in these places again.”

Audrey nodded, her smile widening. She was a little frustrated that she had to focus on driving, but she had already waited so long for this. She could be patient for just a little longer. “Yeah, okay.”

After a short car ride, filled with nervous giggles and stolen glances, they pulled into the stables. Emma held onto Audrey’s hand the entire trip, only letting go when it was time to get out.

Audrey grabbed a blanket out of the back of her car, the one that she’d started keeping in her trunk ever since they’d started meeting up at night, and reached for Emma’s hand once the blanket was was tucked under her arm. She led Emma away from the barn, out to the field where they used to hide as kids. The daffodils weren't in bloom, but it didn't matter. It was still theirs.

The blanket billowed open and settled atop the grass, and Audrey knelt, tugging Emma after her. She landed in Audrey’s lap, where she held fast onto Audrey’s shoulders, trembling a little.

“Are you cold? I can go get my jacket,” Audrey offered, her arms tight around Emma’s waist.

Emma shook her head, laughing shyly. “No, I'm fine, stay here. I guess I'm just a little nervous.”

“It's okay,” Audrey assured her. She stole a swift kiss, leaning her forehead against Emma’s. “It's not that different, I promise.”

Emma nodded, releasing a shaky sigh. “Yeah, okay.”

“Don't worry, just talk to me if you need to, okay?” Audrey continued. She planted her hand at the small of Emma’s back, supporting her as she slowly helped her lay back on the big quilt. She pressed kisses along her jaw and to her dimples. “I'm right here. If you want to stop, we stop.”

Emma shook her head, her eyes fluttering closed as Audrey pressed close, settling between her knees. “Don't stop.”

Audrey smiled at that and found her lips again, groaning softly against her mouth as Emma opened up to her immediately. She reached up to find the buttons on Emma’s shirt again, tugging at them until they came loose, much quicker this time. Once her hands were on her bare waist again, she started straying from Emma’s lips. Emma tilted her chin up for her and she kissed down her neck in an effort to bury herself in pale, moonlit skin.

The expanse of skin across Emma’s stomach was familiar to her now. She pushed her hand up along her ribs, counting them until she met the edge of Emma’s lacy bra. She felt her heartbeat pick up and heat rise to her face, but Audrey wasn't going to wait. She was almost a little scared that something would stop her again, so she pushed past the underwire before anything could interrupt them, covering the cup of Emma’s bra with her palm. She heard Emma exhale and she looked up to find hazel eyes staring down at her, now much darker, with blown-out pupils. Emma’s cheeks were just as pink as she imagined her own must be. They didn't say anything, but Audrey had to plant her other hand firmly to the ground below them just to keep herself steady.

With a small exhale Audrey dropped her lips to the white skin atop Emma’s breast, and then reached to hook her thumb into the top edge of the cup, tugging at it. She pulled fabric downward to uncover the pink nipple underneath and Audrey released a soft shudder of a gasp before she wrapped her mouth around it, swiping her tongue across the pebbled texture of Emma’s skin.

“Fuck–” Emma gasped, rising off the ground a little, trying her best to press closer. She clutched one hand onto Audrey’s hair, the other fisting into the blanket underneath them.

Audrey smiled to herself. She really could only take that as encouragement, and in answer she turned her head to latch her lips onto the side of Emma’s other breast, sucking on soft flesh as she rolled her thumb over the nipple she had abandoned. Emma arched into her at that, pressing her chest into Audrey’s mouth, crying out when she felt Audrey bite down on her skin. It wasn't hard, just enough that Audrey knew she'd have a mark before too long. Emma just might have to avoid low-cut shirts for a little while.

 _“Audrey_.” It was almost a reprimand.

Audrey licked away the sting of it, using the flat of her tongue, before she lifted her head to grin crookedly at Emma. “Should I apologize?”

Emma shook her head, a smile on her lips as well. She pulled Audrey back to her mouth, kissing her deeply in reply.

Audrey clutched onto Emma’s hip and pulled close, rocking her own hips against her. Emma let out another gasp, this time more of a cry, as the friction of Audrey’s jeans against her found purchase.

It was insane, how much just the sound of Emma like this could put heat in her belly. Audrey had imagined this, sure, but anything she could have ever dreamed paled in comparison to seeing Emma underneath her, eyes tightly shut as she practically begged for more. And they had barely even started. Audrey rocked her hips again, looking up to find Emma’s head thrown back and biting down hard on her bottom lip. It was probably the most beautiful that she’d ever seen her. Audrey had probably thought the same thing dozens of times, maybe hundreds, but this time she meant it. This time it was because of _her_. She felt a tug from somewhere below her bellybutton, aching to see more. She suddenly needed to see what Emma looked like breathless and spent beneath her.

She reached for the button on Emma’s jeans, swiftly undoing it along with the zipper. Biting her lip, she tugged Emma's jeans off her hips just enough so she could reach to stroke her fingertips over the top of Emma’s underwear, careful to gauge her reaction at the gentle touch.

Emma gasped, her breasts pressing against Audrey’s chest as she tried to regain her breath. She nodded again, tilting her hips into Audrey’s hand. “Please…”

Audrey bent to kiss her in answer, just underneath the corner of her jaw. She removed her hand for only a moment before slipping it past the elastic of Emma’s underwear, across her slick skin, circling around the sensitive nub she found underneath.

Another shudder washed through Emma and she grabbed onto the back of Audrey’s neck, grasping tightly. She chewed on her bottom lip and pushed into Audrey’s hand to try and get an even better angle, whining softly at each stroke.

Audrey watched Emma carefully as she slowly teased, trying to figure out where she was most sensitive. It was an enticing kind of puzzle, searching out the key to unlock Emma Duval. She circled around her once more, paying special attention to the bundle of nerves at the top before she finally dipped a finger into her.

Emma’s breath was still ragged, this latest sensation putting her into another bout of breathlessness. “Oh my god, Audrey…”

“Tell me what you want,” Audrey muttered into her cheek, pressing another kiss to her dimple. She curled her finger into Emma, hoping to get more out of her. It was almost shameful how much she got off on seeing Emma like this. “Tell me how you like it.”

“I like it…” Emma breathed heavily, her hand at the back of Audrey’s neck constantly clenching and unclenching into her hair, “just like that.”

Audrey kissed the corner of her mouth and let another finger join the first, curling against her inner wall to help, slowly pulling more out of Emma. She raised her eyebrows in question, “Like that?”

“L- like that,” Emma repeated, nodding earnestly, her breath catching in her throat. Her cheeks were bright red at this point and she was panting erratically. She released another soft whine and moved her hips in time with Audrey’s ministrations so they could build a rhythm together. She rode Audrey’s hand until she couldn't keep up any longer, throwing her head back and digging her nails into the back of Audrey’s neck.

As Audrey pressed the heel of her hand hard to her front and curled her fingers _just_ right, Emma shuddered and gasped out a guttural cry, almost lifting herself off of the blanket as her entire body went taught as a rope. Audrey felt it as Emma shook and tightened around her fingers, before she collapsed against the blanket, out of breath. Emma’s hand still loosely clutched to the nape of Audrey’s neck, barely holding on.

Audrey pressed gentle kisses along Emma’s neck and jaw, patient as she waited for Emma to regain her senses. She kissed one dimple, and then the other, and then Emma caught her lips in slow kiss. Audrey felt Emma smile into their kiss, and saw it still on her lips when she finally pulled back.

“You lied,” Emma told her softly, her eyes halfway open, gazing through her eyelashes. She was running her hands through Audrey’s hair again, surely making a mess of it.

“Did I?” Audrey asked, tilting her head at Emma. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling and her skin tingled all over, but especially wherever Emma was touching her.

“Yeah,” she replied, nodding. Her smile widened. “That _was_ different.”

“Oh.” Audrey worried her brows, searching Emma’s face. She supposed she could have been wrong, she admittedly didn’t have that much experience with guys. “Bad-different?”

Emma shook her head, still grinning. “Good-different. _Amazing_ -different.”

Audrey mirrored her grin and stole yet another kiss from her lips. _“Amazing,_ huh?”

Emma still looked like she was in a daze, bathed in moonlight, looking up at Audrey like it was the first time they’d ever seen at each other. She looked like she was trying to come to a decision, her hazel eyes glittering as she bit down on her bottom lip. “I think it was different because it was you.”

Audrey breathed in, warmth spreading across her chest and settling next to her heart. She didn't want to read too much into those words, but it she couldn't ignore how light it made her feel. If nothing else, Emma deserved good in her life, and she deserved to wash away her past. If Emma wanted Audrey’s help with that then she’d be more than happy to provide. She rested her head against Emma’s again, settling next to her with a soft sigh.

“But you didn’t…” Emma trailed off, looking like she wasn’t quite sure how to finish that sentence.

Audrey rose her eyebrows, questioning. “So?”

“Don’t you want to?”

She shook her head, giving Emma’s hip a small squeeze. “It’s not a race. There’s no finish line. And if you want, we’ll have plenty of opportunities.”

Emma smiled at that, biting her lip. “Yeah, okay. I like the sound of that.”

 

* * *

 

They didn’t stay in the field all night. They stayed plenty long still, and they kissed and talked and then kissed again, until it really was too cold to comfortably stay. They packed up the blanket, and Audrey drove Emma home in relative silence, her hand tucked against the inside of Emma’s thigh while Emma rested her head on her shoulder.

She pulled up to the Duval residence, turning to Emma so she could kiss the top of her head. She didn’t really feel like saying goodbye yet, but it was late. They’d probably see each other tomorrow, she reminded herself.

Emma looked up at Audrey, their noses almost touching. “Walk me to the door?”

Audrey laughed, nodding. “Sure, of course. It’s like three in the morning, but okay.”

“It’s tradition,” Emma insisted, feigning offense.

“Okay okay, I’m coming,” Audrey laughed, getting out of her car so she could run around to open the passenger door for Emma. It was stupid, but she had to admit that it felt kinda nice.

They walked to the front door together, hand in hand, and Audrey chewed on her bottom lip as they stopped on the doormat. “Did you have a good time?” she asked, a smirk tugging her lips to one side.

“Oh, it was okay,” Emma replied casually, shrugging. “Not bad.”

“Really? _Not bad?”_ Audrey teased. She reached up to clutch her chest. “That hurts, Emma.”

“Yeah, okay,” Emma laughed, reaching up to take Audrey’s hand in hers, playing with her fingers. “Maybe it was more… well. Kind of mind-blowing.”

Audrey grinned widely, entirely pleased with herself. “That’s more like it.”

“God, now I get why your ego is so big.”

Audrey shrugged, still grinning. “Maybe I’ll let you knock me down a few pegs.”

Emma stared at her, biting her lip a second before leaning in to kiss her gently, sweetly. It was the perfect cherry on top of their night.

When they broke, Audrey was expecting to say goodbye and that would be it for the night. First official date over. But when she found Emma’s eyes again, they were on fire. She bit on her bottom lip again, looking like she was trying to decide on something, when suddenly she reached up to grab onto the back of Audrey’s neck and pulled her in again.

Lips now locked once more, Emma pulled her back against the front door so hard that Audrey had to reach up and catch the door frame next to Emma’s shoulder for balance. Audrey felt Emma’s other hand clasp onto her hip, venturing beneath the edge of her shirt. By the time Emma was kissing her way down Audrey’s neck, she was starting to see stars from the sudden quickening of her pulse.

“Emma–” Audrey gasped, trying to keep her voice down. The ache between her legs that she had managed to successfully put aside for the rest of the night suddenly flared back to life as Emma snuck her hand up the back of her shirt.

“I was thinking,” Emma whispered, interrupting herself with a kiss. “I want to try.”

Audrey’s eyebrows shot up and she stared at Emma, her voice a little strangled when she finally found her words. _“Here?_ Right now? But your mom–”

“We’ll just have to be quiet then, won’t we?” Emma grinned, her eyes alight. She grabbed Audrey by the arm and drug her inside, up to her room. The door clicked shut behind them and Emma locked it before turning on Audrey.

One thing Audrey could be certain of: she was a dead woman.

(Somehow, she was really struggling to have a problem with that.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed that, feel free to come talk to us about it on tumblr dot com at [chiltongirlsdoitbetter](http://chiltongirlsdoitbetter.tumblr.com/) and [dickryders](http://dickryders.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (also quick reminder that if you, like us, enjoy being Sad About Brooke Maddox, check out our deleted scene posted [right over here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9138616/chapters/20764840) on archive of our own)


	5. waste time with a masterpiece

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> k so from here on out please just assume our betas [explosionshark](http://explosionshark.tumblr.com/) and [seekingoutfriday](http://seekingoutfriday.tumblr.com/) are invaluable, wonderful human beings without which we could have never posted this fic, etc, etc

The next few days were unremarkable, at least as much as they could be. She no longer had to worry about weekly killings any longer, but Audrey still felt like she died a little every time Emma or Brooke looked her way.

(She probably shouldn’t joke about that, considering the year they’ve all had.)

But in all seriousness, she felt like she had to pinch herself periodically. Between Brooke’s bedroom eyes, Emma’s blushing, and Noah’s constant indignant bewilderment at how this was even happening in the first place, it all felt pretty unreal. It also kind of felt like she was walking on a tightrope. She didn’t know how exactly they expected to keep all of this up. Audrey knew at some point she was probably going to have to choose between the two of them and it wasn’t a great thought to have normally, much less as it often did when either of her girlfriends had a hand down her pants.

She was so caught up in her own personal soap opera she had almost completely forgotten they were supposed to be gearing up for Kieran’s upcoming trial.

The three of them—Brooke, Noah, and Audrey—all arrived at the courthouse together since the prosecutor wanted to meet with each of them to help prepare them for testimony. They were all going to have to be up on the stand for a while, and the thought was harrowing enough that it made Audrey feel ashamed for worrying so much about her love life.

“Do you think it’s gonna be anything like the movies?” Noah asked, sitting on the bench next to her as they waited.

“Nah, I don’t think your extensive knowledge of Hollywood procedurals is gonna help us here,” Audrey replied flatly, giving him a tight smile. “Sorry, man.”

“I can’t believe we’re going to have to look at him,” Brooke complained, her lip curling in distaste. “I bet he looks awful without all that hair gel. His hair always was so well-coiffed.”

“I’m just glad they’re not making Emma be there,” Audrey muttered, bouncing her knee anxiously. The ADA had decided that Emma wouldn’t need to take the stand if they had Audrey’s testimony, especially since they had Emma’s written deposition. The case was supposedly a little weaker without Emma’s testimony, but everyone agreed that it was worth it so Emma didn’t have to face Kieran or cross-examination.

She suddenly felt Brooke’s hand on her back, gently calming her. She must have been getting more worked up than she realized.

“Seconded,” Brooke agreed, sending Audrey a small, comforting smile. “The best thing we can do for her is to make sure that bastard rots in prison so she never has to see him ever again.”

Audrey looked up and gave Brooke a grateful smile, leaning into her a little. They’d never really discussed it, but it felt good to know that Brooke had similar feelings when it came to protecting Emma. Audrey just wished that none of them had to do this, Brooke and Noah too. It really probably would have been easier if they had just shot him instead.

But she shouldn’t think about that. Emma had deserved to make that decision, and she needed to remember that. This was what Emma chose.

They stayed like that, in complete silence and Brooke still slowly stroking her back, until the prosecutor,  Assistant District Attorney Andrea Carmichael, arrived to work with them. The first few sessions would be with all three of them, to help them know what to expect and to feel less nervous. Afterwards, they’d meet with Carmichael individually to prepare in depth. The first meeting took a few hours and they still had barely scratched the surface, and by the time they’d finished they were all drained. There were no jokes and no witty quips as they all piled back into Noah’s car; just a gloomy silence that fell thick around them in the face of what they had to do.

 

* * *

 

Audrey agreed to meet with Brooke and Emma later that same night, at the park as they usually did. They hadn’t really been alone yet, just the three of them, since everything last week. To say that Audrey was nervous was putting it a little mildly, but she was trying not to worry so much. It still felt petty to be so concerned about what this all meant when they were about to dive head first into a trial that would almost certainly change the rest of their lives.

They all huddled up on the blanket in their spot, and Brooke had already unscrewed the cap to tonight’s finely-aged whiskey before Audrey had completely settled. She raised her eyebrows in question.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Brooke protested, knocking back a drink. She handed the bottle to Emma, who took it gladly. “Today was… harsh.”

Audrey had to agree with her on that. She herself happily took the bottle from Emma once she’d had a shot of her own. “Fair.”

“I’m really sorry I can’t be there with you guys,” Emma muttered, looking at them both a little ashamedly.

“Hey, don’t even,” Audrey insisted, reaching to squeeze her elbow. “We’re glad we can be there so you don’t have to be.”

“Seriously, Em,” Brooke added, taking the bottle back from Audrey. “It’s the least we can do.”

Audrey gave Emma another comforting smile and squeezed her arm again before glancing up at Brooke. She felt a small knot in her gut tighten and she snatched her hand back suddenly, looking away from the both of them. It felt like she wasn’t supposed to do things like that, be affectionate with either of them while the other was around. That was wrong, right? She didn’t want either of them to suddenly feel like a third wheel, that would be a disaster.

“Audrey,” Brooke scolded, shaking her head. “You don’t have to do that.”

She turned to Brooke, guilty, swallowing a lump in her throat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–”

“You didn’t even do anything,” Brooke pointed out. She turned to Emma, exchanging a knowing glance with her. “I was worried this was going to happen.”

“Audrey, Brooke and I are both fine,” Emma added, shaking her head. She turned to Brooke again, like she was trying to take cues from her. “Right? We’re all fine.”

“Are we?” Audrey asked, her voice a little strangled. “Because I don’t know if either of you know this, but you’re both very intimidating.”

“If we were mad, we’d tell you,” Emma insisted. “It wouldn’t be fair to you if we didn’t. The only way any of this is going to work is if we’re all are honest and open with each other.”

Brooke nodded in agreement, taking a drink of whiskey before holding the bottle out to Audrey. “Alcohol probably helps too.”

Audrey took it from her almost begrudgingly. “I’m not saying that you’re wrong or I disagree or I don’t want to do this,” she started, pausing to knock back a good-sized drink, squeezing her eyes shut as it burned her throat on the way down. “Because that’s not what I want.”

“Then maybe you should tell us what it is you want,” Emma urged her, her hazel eyes glittering in the dim light. “Honesty, right?”

Audrey looked between the two of them, trying to decipher her feelings. There was a lot to sift through, still. “What I want is to know that both of you are totally one-hundred percent on-board with this. If either of you have any doubts at all, I don’t know if I could live with myself.”

Brooke and Emma glanced at each other again, establishing some kind of unspoken agreement.

“Well, you both know how I feel,” Brooke said as she turned back to Audrey, speaking first. “I think it’s about time you two stopped pining enough to grow a freaking forest. The fact that you’re both still willing to let Audrey give me the best head of my life is a win for me.”

Audrey’s cheeks blushed a deep red and she almost missed the wink that Brooke sent her way as Emma choked on whiskey.

It took Emma a minute to recover, even with Brooke patting her on the back to help. Audrey fished a water bottle out of her bag, offering it, still feeling flush. Emma accepted it gratefully and their eyes locked for a moment. There was something behind them that Audrey couldn’t quite name. Her pupils were completely blown out. She was pretty sure the last time she’d seen Emma look at her like that was right before she’d pulled her against her front door to cop a feel—and then they’d had sex for the second time in one night.

“Thanks,” Emma told her, her voice a little husky. “Um. To address your concern, Audrey, I promise that if I had any doubts I’d tell you. Both of you.”

Worry settled between Audrey’s brows. “It’s okay, Emma. If you do, I mean. You’re not obligated to be okay with this, and I just want to make sure that this isn’t going to do more harm than good.”

Emma shook her head, her cheeks still flushed. She looked a little like she couldn’t quite focus on either of them. “No, it’s okay. I’m _fine_ with this. You and Brooke had this thing going on before I even knew that I might like girls, it’s not fair of me to bull-rush my way into this and tear you guys apart.”

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment, balancing herself. “I don’t want to be the reason you guys can’t be together. That’s the last thing I want. I’ve… been thinking a lot, ever since you told me, Audrey, and you guys are really good together. I’d be an idiot not to see that. I still can’t believe I didn’t realize it was happening in the first place.”

Audrey found Brooke’s eyes again, whose own mischievous gaze had softened into something else. She sent Audrey a small smile, almost shy, or at least as close to shy that Brooke Maddox could muster.

“See?” Emma insisted, gesturing pointedly between the two of them. “This doesn’t make me angry or upset. I’m _happy_ for you. Audrey, tell me that you haven’t been happier since you and Brooke started…” Her voice trailed off and she fidgeted with the cap on the water bottle in her hands.

“Sleeping together,” Brooke added helpfully, her eyes a little hooded.

“You two are my best friends,” Emma told them. “And you’re both wonderful, and I want you to be happy. Why would I want to take that away from you?”

Audrey took a deep breath. She felt a little like her heart was too big for her chest, which was somehow both uncomfortable but pleasantly warm. “So…”

“So if you want to… sleep with Brooke, I’m not going to stop you.” Emma shook her head, trying and somewhat failing to sound casual. “I’ll even encourage it, it’s not like either of you aren’t good at it. I mean, I assume. It’s probably, like a crime against sex or something to stop you, so, um.” She cleared her throat. “I’m fine.”

Brooke narrowed her eyes at Emma before sending Audrey one more quick glance. “I guess it’s settled, then,” she said, breaking the silence that had fallen between them momentarily. “Does that satisfy you, Audrey?”

Satisfy? Not exactly. It felt like every time Audrey found answers she only stumbled upon more questions, but she wasn’t sure now was the time to ask them. She cleared her throat. “I think so. But guys… If anything changes for either of you, _ever,_ we have to talk about it. Agreed?”

“Agreed,” Brooke replied, nodding. “That goes for you too, you know.”

Emma nodded, swallowing a lump in her throat. She took another pull from her water bottle. She’d almost finished it off and Audrey was pretty sure it had been full when she gave it to her. “Of course. I really think that’s the only way we can make this work.”

“Okay,” Audrey agreed. She finally let a smile pull at her lips as she reached for both of their hands. “Changing the subject, but did you guys see the way Stavo was staring at Noah today in biology? I swear to god there’s something going on between them.”

Brooke groaned loudly, throwing her head back in disdain. “Audrey, I can’t believe you’re reminding me, I was trying to block it out.”

Emma and Audrey both dissolved into giggles, taking turns at teasing Brooke.

By the time Brooke and Audrey waved Emma off for the night—going home to head her mom off before she woke, as usual—Audrey felt much better about everything. Once they’d started talking and acting like normal teenagers, it was easier to see that this didn’t have to be hard. It made her feel light all over, finally getting used to the idea that maybe this really was happening and maybe it really could work.

Once Emma strapped into her car and started driving away, Brooke rounded on Audrey.

“Oh my god, tell me you saw that.”

Audrey raised her eyebrows at Brooke, confused, her head cocked to one side. “Um. I’m not really sure what we’re talking about.”

 _“Emma,”_ Brooke hissed, an intensity behind her eyes. “You didn’t notice anything funny about how she was acting tonight?”

Audrey had definitely noticed, but she still hadn’t been able to figure it out. She assumed that Emma needed to sort out her own feelings about everything too. “I get the feeling you’re gonna tell me.”

Brooke rolled her eyes. “She thinks we’re _hot,_ Audrey. Like, together.”

Realization suddenly dawned on her like a falling anvil to the head. The blushing and the dilated pupils, the way Emma hadn’t been able to look directly at either of them all night, it all suddenly made sense. “Holy shit.”

 _“Right?”_ Brooke had a shit-eating grin on her face like she’d just been told she had free-reign on a closet full of Prada. “Audrey, she’s into it.”

Audrey didn’t know what to do with this information. It actually sort of made her feel better and not as guilty—and a little turned on—but she didn’t know what to _do_ with it. “Do you think she–?”

“That she’s leaving now to think about us having sex?” Brooke interrupted, her eyes glinting with mischief. “Because yes, I do.”

Audrey choked on nothing, falling back on the blanket. “Holy fuck, Brooke.”

Brooke crawled over to her, swinging one leg around her hips to sit on top of her, knees on either side of her waist. Audrey felt a familiar tug below her abdomen. “I know. You know this changes everything, right?”

Audrey looked up at her with wide eyes, her hands settling on top of Brooke’s thighs. Her voice was a few registers higher than normal when she spoke. “Does it?”

“Mm,” Brooke nodded, grinning. She bent to plant a kiss on Audrey’s lips, which was not at all unwelcome. Maybe she was starting to get used to this.

“You’re not going to tell me why, are you?”

“I need to test something first,” Brooke explained, gently stroking her hand down Audrey's cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ll clue you in soon enough if I’m right.”

She stole one more kiss before slipping off of Audrey’s lap to stand, offering her a hand up. “C’mon, take me home?”

Audrey heaved a sigh and took Brooke’s offered hand. If Emma was really going to be thinking about them tonight, then at the very least they could give her something to dream about.

 

* * *

 

For Audrey at least, the next day at school felt like things were finally getting back to something close to normal. She still spent the entire day distracted by both Brooke and Emma, but she didn’t feel like she needed to stress so much about it. It was nice, actually. The upcoming trial loomed omnipresent in the back of her head, but she did her best to distract herself from thinking about that.

At least she could now actually enjoy the time she spent with her friends, which was a vast improvement on the last few days. Emma, Audrey, and Brooke left calculus together, stopping by Brooke’s locker on the way to lunch so they could drop off their books.

Brooke almost always wore heels. Audrey was actually pretty sure that the only time she saw Brooke in anything but at least two inches of heels was when she wasn't wearing much of anything at all. Today, however, she was wearing a pair of ballet flats, leaving her much shorter than either Audrey or Emma. It put her at so much of a disadvantage that as she struggled to place her book on the top shelf of her locker, she stumbled a little and fell against Emma next to her.

“Oh!” Brooke squeaked, holding onto Emma tightly, pressed as close as she could get. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Emma.”

To her credit, Emma had caught hold of Brooke immediately, holding onto her waist to steady her. As soon as their eyes locked, a pink tinge rose to Emma’s cheeks. “Oh, it’s okay. Are you alright?”

Brooke heaved a sigh, her chest pressing even further to Emma. _“Wonderful._ I guess this is why I always wear heels, though. I knew I shouldn’t have worn these flats today.”

Audrey stared at them with wide eyes and brows raised, utterly dumbstruck. She had no doubts that Brooke was doing this on purpose, and apparently it was working like a charm. She watched as Emma glanced downward only to catch an eyeful of Brooke’s perfectly-calculated cleavage before looking up again, her blush deepening.

Audrey’s jaw dropped open.

“No! I think they’re great,” Emma replied, clearing her throat. She had let go of Brooke now that it was clear Brooke had steadied herself. “Th- they really tie everything together, they’re cute. Um. Here, let me help you with your book, though.”

Emma took the textbook from Brooke and turned to stuff it onto the top shelf. Audrey immediately whirled on Brooke and silently gestured toward Emma, demanding some kind of explanation. Brooke just winked, looking pleased with herself.

“God, thank you so much,” Brooke sighed, laying it on thick. “That could have been so embarrassing, you’re a lifesaver.”

Emma gave a soft laugh before turning back to the two of them again, her cheeks still a little pink. “Well I don’t know about that, but I’m happy to help. Um, shall we?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Brooke agreed, turning to lead them toward the cafeteria. She shot a heavy-lidded glance behind her, at the both of them. “I’m _starving.”_

Audrey snuck a side-long glance at Emma, who was watching Brooke with new-found fascination, utterly enraptured. Whatever Brooke’s goal was with this display, it certainly seemed to have an effect. She almost felt bad for Emma, but mostly because she knew the feeling. Is that really what she had looked like all week, stumbling after both Brooke and Emma?

And what the _hell_ was Brooke doing?

 

* * *

 

The door to Audrey’s room swung open and in waltzed all five feet and some change of Brooke Maddox, looking like she had a wind machine at her beck and call.

“I have good news for you.”

Audrey looked up from where she was lying on her bed, on her stomach, her English homework spread out in front of her. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with that stunt you pulled today, would it?”

Brooke grinned and hopped onto Audrey’s bed, her knees tucked under her. “Glad to see someone was paying attention.”

Audrey flipped her notebook shut and tossed it aside so she could turn to Brooke. “Awesome, because I’m _really_ looking forward to an explanation on that.”

“I thought it was obvious,” Brooke smirked, leaning forward to tap Audrey’s nose. “And now I have confirmation.”

Audrey shook her head, a smile tugging at her lips. “So you got a rise out of Emma, I’m not really sure how this is significant.”

Brooke pushed Audrey onto her back and crawled on top of her in one fluid movement, tugging the edge of her black t-shirt up just enough so she could trace a finger around her bellybutton. Audrey’s breath caught in her throat.

 _“Because,”_ Brooke started, her eyes dark and almost menacing. “This opens up a world of possibilities, Audrey. Now we know Emma’s attraction isn’t exclusive to you. It includes at least me as well, and honestly that’s all that really matters.”

Audrey pursed her lips as she breathed in slowly, staring up at Brooke above her with raised brows. “You know, right now I think you might have to spell this out for me a little.”

“Audrey,” Brooke rolled her eyes, though she was still grinning. She splayed her hands across Audrey’s stomach, pushing them up under the edge of her t-shirt. “You’re going to help me seduce Emma Duval.”

 _“What?”_ Audrey had been watching Brooke’s hands as they crept up her stomach, but she snapped to attention at those words, her eyes locking on Brooke’s.

“You heard me,” Brooke confirmed, nodding slowly as she traced her fingertips along Audrey’s bra. “Emma might still be figuring this stuff out, but lucky for her she has both of us to… _help.”_

Audrey sucked in another breath as she felt Brooke’s thumb brush pass her nipple, over the fabric of her bra. She stared up at Brooke with hooded eyes, struggling now to keep her voice steady. “Y- you want to have sex with Emma.”

“Well, yeah,” Brooke replied, like it was obvious. She slowly started pushing Audrey’s shirt over head, who was hardly about to put up a fight. “It’s only fair. Besides, have you _seen_ her ass, it’s like it was crafted by Greek gods or something.”

Brooke had a point. It’s not like she was in a position to blame anyone for being sexually attracted to Emma, she just hadn’t ever considered the possibility that there would be something between the two of them. Apparently that was a pretty gross oversight on her part.

A gasp pushed past Audrey’s lips as Brooke slowly ground down on her hips, demanding her attention again. Brooke took both of Audrey’s arms by the wrists and pinned them above her head.

“So how exactly do you see this playing out?” Audrey asked, lifting her hips to push against Brooke, trying to gain purchase. She was rewarded with a soft groan, Brooke’s eyes fluttering shut for half a second.

“You’re gonna tell me everything you know about what gets Emma off,” Brooke replied slowly, bending to let her lips brush over Audrey’s as she spoke. “And then you’re gonna help me put it to good use.”

“So, what,” Audrey continued, doing her best to rock her hips against Brooke from this position. “You want me to show you what buttons to push?”

“In due time,” Brooke agreed, her own voice a little ragged at this point. “For now you’re gonna help me put on a show, starting tomorrow.”

Audrey tilted her chin to nip at Brooke’s bottom lip. “And then what, Brooke? What’s this all about?”

Brooke breathed in deeply, releasing her wrists to plant her elbows on either side of Audrey’s head, burying her hands in black hair. She rested her forehead against Audrey’s, her eyes closed. “You’re saying you don’t get why a girl would want to see what Emma has to offer? I mean, you certainly don’t seem unimpressed by it. Maybe I just want to know what all the fuss is about.”

There was something Brooke wasn’t telling her, but Audrey didn’t push it. If this was what Brooke wanted, it would hardly be fair for her to deny her of it. She settled her hands on Brooke’s thighs, pushing under the edge of her skirt. “Okay. I’ll help. Just tell me what you want.”

She felt more than heard Brooke breathe a sigh of relief. She pressed a kiss to her lips, soft, but there was still a hunger there. “Good. And what I want right _now_ is those jeans off of you.”

Audrey smirked and lifted her hips again, hands anchored where Brooke’s thighs met the swell of her backside. “As you wish.”

 

* * *

 

Audrey didn't really know exactly what Brooke had planned, but she was pretty sure it wasn't going to be subtle. Given how her first stunt went, she had a feeling Brooke was only going to ramp up her game, using Audrey as the ace up her sleeve.

At first it was little things, starting almost right away. Brooke—who was dressed to kill, red lipstick and all—let her hands linger on Audrey whenever they passed, and was sure to throw a furtive glance Emma’s way every time they touched.

She eventually started going further, always gauging Emma’s reaction. At one point she even legitimately groped Audrey’s ass right in front of Emma, so that only she could see. By the time study hall rolled around, Audrey felt a little like she was going nuts herself from the tension slowly building in her abdomen all day.

“Audrey,” Brooke said, getting her attention.

Audrey looked up to find Brooke staring at her with dark eyes, pushing her chest out just the right way to make sure both Emma and Audrey would get an eyeful from where they were sitting across from her. Audrey cleared her throat. “Yes?”

Brooke reached out to caress the back of Audrey’s hand, leaning over the table where the three of them sat. Audrey heard Emma suck in a breath next to her. “You know, I am really struggling with this calculus assignment. Didn't you say you'd already finished it?”

“Um,” Audrey started, tearing her eyes away from Brooke’s chest. “Almost, I just have a few more problems to work on.”

“I finished it, actually,” Emma interjected. Audrey glanced her way and found a familiar pink hue to her cheeks. She also seemed to be trying a little too hard not to stare at Brooke. “I could help you, if you want.”

“Oh my god, could you?” Brooke asked, flashing Emma a smile. “I swear, I'm just so lost on differentials.”

“Yeah, of course,” Emma nodded. “Did you want to meet at the Grindhouse today after school, or…?”

“Actually, could you come to my place?”

“Yeah, I mean, I don't see why not.”

“Audrey, you should come too,” Brooke suggested, turning to Audrey again. “We can make a party of it.”

“Yeah,” Audrey agreed, knowing that Brooke wanted her to play her part. “Yeah, we can totally do that. What time?”

“Seven?” Brooke suggested, her hand still on Audrey’s, idly playing with her fingers. “We have that meeting with Carmichael today, but we should be done by then.”

“Works for me,” Emma agreed, nodding. “I can stop and get some coffee on the way?”

“Perfect,” Brooke nodded, her eyes lighting up. “It's settled.”

“Awesome,” Audrey added, chewing on her bottom lip.

Not ten minutes later, Audrey felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

_[2:47] Scream Queen: make sure you're early tonight ;)_

That goddamned winky face again. Coming from Brooke, she had a few ideas about what that meant. Though she _had_ agreed to be Brooke’s pawn...

_[2:47] Bi-curious: ready and willing, babe_

Whatever was going to go down tonight, Audrey probably wouldn't complain.

 

* * *

 

Audrey arrived at Brooke’s place twenty minutes early, as instructed, and let herself in. She actually even stopped by her house to pick up her homework after they’d all left the courthouse, just in case they actually got around to that.

“Brooke?” She looked around the kitchen and living room, trying to figure out where tonight’s scene would be staged.

“Upstairs!” Brooke’s voice floated down from the stairwell, putting a smirk on Audrey’s lips. (Of course. She should have guessed.)

She followed after Brooke’s voice, up the stairs and to her doorway. She knocked on the doorframe as she poked her head inside. “Don't tell me I'm late.”

“You're right on time,” Brooke grinned, pulling her inside. “C’mon, put your books out on the bed, like you've been here.”

Audrey cocked her head at Brooke curiously, but did as she was told. She opened her math textbook and laid it on the bed along with her notebook and calculator. “You gonna tell me what we’re doing?”

Brooke adjusted her own schoolwork props on the bed next to Audrey, making sure everything was in place. She glanced over to Audrey’s things and sighed, reaching over to flip her textbook to the right page. “I told you, we’re putting on a show.”

“I thought that's what we’ve been doing all day,” Audrey replied, a little confused as she sat down on the bed next to Brooke.

“Oh, that was just phase one,” Brooke explained, grinning. She tugged Audrey closer, positioning her on her back in front of the books before swinging her leg over Audrey’s waist, settling on top of her. “We’re just getting started.”

 _“Oh,”_ she replied eloquently, her voice pitched at least an octave higher than normal. She glanced at the clock on Brooke’s bedside table. Emma would be here any moment, which she assumed was what Brooke wanted. “Um. So what do you want me to do?”

Brooke rolled her eyes and grabbed Audrey’s hands, setting them on her waist. “Use your imagination, Jensen. Talk about how much you love my breasts, work with me here.”

“I'm not doing that.”

“Baby, c’mon,” Brooke whined, tilting her hips into Audrey’s just a little, barely enough to do anything, but the suggestion was still plenty. “Don't you like them? You always pay them such _extra special_ attention.”

“Brooke, your tits are pretty fucking great,” Audrey told her as steadily as she could, eyebrows raised, trying not to let her unsteady breathing give her away. “But I'm not saying that in front of Emma.”

“Ugh, fine,” Brooke relented. She leaned forward to plant her hands on the bed behind either side of Audrey’s head, her lips hovering above hers. “Then do what you want with me.”

Audrey breathed in, grasping tightly onto Brooke's hips as she pulled forward to catch her mouth. If Brooke wanted a show, then she’d have a show. She didn't waste her time with starting slow, instead licking past Brooke's lips to find her tongue. She groaned softly, finally finding some form of gratification for all Brooke’s teasing earlier that day.

She was lost in Brooke almost immediately, losing track of the day and the time and her own name. She was so distracted that by the time she started kissing her way down Brooke’s neck and chest, she had completely forgotten that Emma was even on her way.

“Emma,” Brooke gasped, sitting up suddenly.

Audrey turned away from Brooke to find Emma in the doorway, her mouth coming off the side of Brooke’s breast with a soft pop. She stared at Emma with wide eyes, her mouth still hanging open. _“Shit.”_

Emma stared at the two of them with her jaw dropped, her cheeks pink. Audrey couldn't tell how long she'd been standing there. “Oh, um. Sorry, I should have knocked.”

“No, it's okay,” Brooke insisted, pulling herself off of Audrey’s lap and straightening her shirt. There was a little pink circle on the inside of one of her breasts, Audrey’s handiwork. It would likely only get darker. “I guess we got a little carried away, we should be the ones apologizing.”

“Don’t worry about it, seriously,” Emma insisted, clearing her throat. She chewed on her bottom lip, staring directly at Brooke’s open collar before hastily looking away again, perhaps suddenly realizing that she had been caught. “Oh, I brought the coffee!”

Audrey sat up again as Brooke got up to help Emma with the coffee. Once again, she was pretty grateful she didn’t have a dick, or her current state would be pretty obvious. She accepted her coffee from Emma, as they both came to join her on the bed. She immediately took a drink so she could hide behind her cup. It scalded her tongue a little, but honestly, that was okay. She probably deserved it.

“Calculus, right?” Emma asked as she settled on the bed between Brooke and Audrey.

Audrey cleared her throat and nodded, pulling her book into her lap. “I have most of mine done, but these last ones are pretty tough.”

Emma looked over her shoulder at the notebook in front of Audrey, studying her work so far. “You’re on the right track, I think you’ve got it. What about you, Brooke?”

Audrey took a deep breath, a little relieved Emma wasn’t mad. At least, she didn’t seem to be, and Emma had a tendency to wear her heart on her sleeve about that kind of thing. She glanced over at Brooke and Emma to see them huddled over Brooke’s textbook. Brooke’s shirt was still a little open and she could see that the bruise on her chest had indeed started darkening into a purple hue. Audrey smirked to herself.

After she got home, she discovered that she’d received a snap from Brooke while she was driving. She hastily opened it up, biting on her thumbnail in anticipation. Brooke had sent a picture of herself with her shirt open and without a bra, cutting off just above her nose and with a heart drawn around the mark Audrey had left earlier. _“Nice touch, baby. I knew you had it in you.”_


	6. in the graveyard if looks could kill

After Brooke had made her intentions perfectly clear, the next several days went by with much of the same intensity and purpose. Brooke wasn’t pulling any punches as she did her best to constantly keep Emma on edge in the middle of school and work and trial prep. And since Brooke was absolutely shameless, the lengths she went to were honestly impressive.

One day during lunch, Brooke even went so far as to “accidentally” knock into Audrey and spill some of her iced tea down her front. Despite the fact that Brooke was possibly the least clumsy person to ever walk the halls of George Washington High, she had somehow made it look entirely believable. Audrey herself almost thought it really had been an accident.

“Oh, god. I'm so sorry Brooke,” Audrey apologized, reaching up to try and steady her.

_ “Shit,” _ Brooke swore, looking down at her now ruined white blouse. (Of fucking course it was white.)

“Oh gosh, okay,” Emma muttered, looking up and around them to see if anyone had seen them. There were plenty of people around, but it didn't look like any of them were paying much attention to them. All the same, Emma began ushering them both toward the nearest bathroom.

Audrey walked in front of Brooke, trying to shield her as much as possible as they hurried into the bathroom. Once inside, Emma took a swift check of the stalls to make sure they were alone.

“God, I'm  _ so _ sorry,” Audrey apologized again, pulling as many paper towels as she could from the dispenser on the wall. She came back to Brooke to try and help clean up the mess on her front.

“It's okay,” Brooke promised, taking a few of the paper towels herself. She’d already opened up a few of the buttons on her blouse, revealing the small bruise still on her chest, though it was starting to fade. “But maybe Emma should help with this. We can't have you getting all handsy on me or we’ll be late for English again.”

Audrey looked up at Brooke just in time to catch her wink. She shook her head, caught somewhere between annoyance and astonishment at the sheer nerve of her.

“Okay,” Audrey relented, handing her wad of paper towels off to Emma, who took them and immediately got to work on Brooke’s sticky front.

“I think I've got an extra shirt in my locker,” Emma told her, seemingly a little distracted. Who could blame her, really? Brooke was milking this for all it was worth. “It might be a little big, but it'll work.”

“Yeah, I can go get it,” Audrey agreed. She looked between Brooke and Emma, a little wary about leaving them alone together, if only because a part of her didn't want to miss it if anything happened. Which was probably bad, she almost definitely shouldn't think like that. But honestly, self-control was starting to become a serious issue for her around these two.

“Um, I'll be back as soon as I can,” she promised, darting toward the door. She stopped for half a second at the doorway, peeking around the corner just enough to catch Brooke pressing into Emma’s hands as she tried to help clean up the best she could.

Audrey had no idea how the hell Emma was still able to resist.

 

* * *

 

The meetings with the ADA seemed to be going smoothly, as uncomfortable as they were. They'd finished meeting all together and Carmichael had started working with them each individually to help them prepare for what it would be like to be on the stand, especially cross-examination.

She picked Noah up at the courthouse one night, after his last meeting, partially because it had been ages since they’d hung out just the two of them, and partially because she might combust if she spent too much time around Emma and Brooke right now. She smirked at him as he slid into the passenger seat, holding out a can of coke she had grabbed for him at the gas station.

“Oh man, no wonder you’ve got all the pretty girls hanging on you,” Noah joked as he took the can from her, cracking it open. “Such a charmer.”

Audrey rolled her eyes and started to back up. “Stuff it, would you? I’m trying not to think about that right now.”

“What, why you’re so popular with the ladies?” he asked, taking a sip. “You know it might have something to do with those piercing blue eyes and swooshy anime hair.”

Audrey grimaced and shot him an annoyed look. “I do not have anime hair, what’s wrong with you?”

“Oh come on,” he laughed. “You don’t see it? I thought that was what you were going for.”

_ “No,” _ Audrey protested, finally giving up a laugh. “Who do you think I am?”

“My nerdy best friend who still wishes she was a sailor scout deep down. Don’t deny it, you know I can see right through you,” Noah teased, grinning. “I don’t blame you. ‘Cause I mean, same.”

Audrey shook her head, laughing. “Yeah, I don’t even want to know, Foster. Whatever it is that you and Stavo get into is your own business.”

Noah scoffed, looking scandalized. “We don’t– You know, you’re sure one to talk. Weren’t you just complaining to me today about how hard it is for you that your girlfriends are trying to seduce each other?”

“Just one of them, actually,” Audrey corrected, indignant. “And it  _ is _ hard, okay. I swear they’re going to burn the school down before anything happens, Emma’s like steel.”

Noah stared at her, shaking his head in disbelief. “You know, I'm not sure I really understand how any of that works, and I think I probably could have done without wondering.”

“If you're looking for a sex ed course then you're  _ really _ barking up the wrong tree, Foster.”

“God,” Noah sputtered, shaking his head.  _ “No _ . No thank you. It's hard enough to wrap my head around the fact that you're all like...” He gestured vaguely rather than finish his sentence.

“Well, I mean,” Audrey shrugged, trying to figure out the right words to explain what exactly the three of them were doing, but she was still struggling to understand it herself. “It kind of just happened. It's not like we planned it. Or, at least, I didn't. I'm not totally convinced that Brooke didn't somehow mastermind this whole thing.”

“So what does that mean?” Noah asked, narrowing his eyes at her. “Are you guys like.  _ Together, _ now? All of you?”

“No,” Audrey shook her head, brows furrowed as she trained her eyes on the road. “I don’t think so. Especially not with all of this legal shit happening. I’m not sure we’re really trying to label whatever it is we’re doing when  _ Discount One Direction’s _ trial is right around the corner. Seems kind of dumb.”

Noah gave her a confused look. “No, it doesn’t. It makes perfect sense.”

“Excuse me?” she asked, her turn to be confused. “Please explain how any of this makes sense.”

“You guys were all hurting pretty bad after everything,” he explained, like it was completely obvious. “Hell, we all were. Still are. It’s only natural that you’d all try to find comfort where you can. And you all care about each other, that much is obvious too.”

Audrey didn’t respond, simply sending him sidelong glances from the driver’s seat when she could.

“Besides, what the hell is normal anymore, anyway?” he asked, turning to her. “Who  _ cares _ about normal, anymore? We have to sit in front of a judge and lawyers and all kinds of people in a couple of weeks and talk about how one of our  _ friends _ toyed with us for months before murdering people we all cared about. Normal isn’t even part of the equation.”

“Hey,” Audrey replied, reaching over to grasp his arm, giving it a squeeze. “It’s okay. We’re gonna stare that asshole in the face and put him in jail. We get to do that.”

Noah shook his head, though he didn’t pull his arm away. “No, Audrey. We  _ might.” _

Audrey pulled into Noah’s driveway, parking before she turned to him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Audrey, it’s not going to be that simple,” he told her, still holding onto his half-finished coke. “This case is messy, it’s not just going to be a matter of walking him into prison. There’s so much they can’t even submit as evidence because it’s circumstantial or it’s been compromised or–”

_ “Noah,” _ Audrey cut him off, her knuckles white on the steering wheel. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth, Audrey,” Noah insisted, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, but we can’t think of it like it’s going to be easy. That’s why Carmichael is setting aside so much time to work with us. Kieran was careful, there’s not a lot of physical evidence that they’re going to be able to use so our testimonies are going to be  _ everything _ .”

“But we’re telling the truth,” Audrey said quietly, not looking at him. This wasn’t what she’d wanted to do when she asked Noah to hang out tonight.

_ “We _ know that, yeah,” he told her, nodding. “But the defense is gonna do everything they can to make it sound like we can’t get our stories straight or like we’re hiding something. Anything they can to make it seem like it’s possible that Kieran wasn’t responsible.”

Audrey was quiet for a long moment, before taking a deep breath to try and calm herself. Whenever she thought about Kieran, she got the sudden urge to start ripping things to shreds, but she didn’t think her car would survive if she suddenly decided to rage out on it.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” Noah finally told her, reaching out to cover her hand with his. “I’m just saying that maybe we should prepare ourselves, just in case.”

“You can’t talk like this to Emma,” Audrey finally said, looking up at him to stare him in the eye. “You can’t say  _ any  _ of that to her, promise me.”

Noah met her gaze and gave her a small nod. “I promise.”

 

* * *

 

The rest of the night had gone unremarkably. They didn't talk about girlfriends or the trial and it was nice to just hang out and watch D-grade horror movies with her best friend for a while like they used to.

The next few days went smoothly as well, despite Brooke’s unrelenting attack on Emma’s resolve. While the ADA was working with the others, it even meant that she had a little more free time in the evenings until it was her turn. She actually got her homework done early most nights, which was a weird change. She had just kind of put herself into the habit of getting it done before either Brooke or Emma wanted to do anything later, since it made her life a little less complicated.

So Audrey had her homework spread out on her bed, dutifully toiling away at her biology assignment when she heard her phone buzz.

She sighed and rolled over so she could reach her phone on the night stand next to her bed, opening it up to find a new text in the group chat she had with Emma and Brooke.

_ [4:28] Scream Queen: god audrey that cherry slushie you had today was TORTURE _

_ [4:28] Scream Queen: your tongue was so red _

_ [4:29] Scream Queen: i couldn't stop thinking about that thing you do with it aaaaaall day _

Audrey blinked at her phone, aghast. She could no longer tell if Brooke was really doing all of this for Emma’s benefit or if she was trying to torture Audrey too. Because if that was the case then it was  _ really _ working.

_ [4:30] Scream Queen: oh wrong chat, sorry emma! _

Audrey pulled a hand through her hair, shaking her head. Maybe this was going too far; maybe it was only antagonizing Emma. Had Brooke thought of that? What if this was just making things harder for everyone? That's not at all what she wanted. It's not even like she could really blame Brooke for all of this, Audrey had certainly played her own part in landing herself in this situation.

She was still trying to figure out how she could possibly start damage control on that text when she heard a knock on her door. Confused, she got to her feet and opened it, finding a slightly breathless Emma standing in front of her.

Audrey barely got the chance to mutter a “hello” before Emma pushed her inside and locked the door behind them. She tugged Audrey to the bed in the middle of her room and threw her down onto the comforter more forcefully than Audrey had anticipated.

“Emma–!” she choked, staring up at Emma with wide eyes.

“Show me,” Emma demanded, almost growling as she crawled on top of Audrey. “Show me what she meant.”

This wasn't exactly what she expected when she thought she might have to do damage control, but she wasn't about to complain. She exhaled, nodding eagerly before rolling Emma onto her back so she could start tugging at her clothes.

So maybe Brooke knew what she was doing after all.

 

* * *

 

Audrey couldn't get it out of her head how sweet Emma was. Even afterward, when they were finally settled on her bed, her homework completely forgotten in a pile on the floor.

Emma turned her head to catch a kiss, still slightly breathless from what Audrey had just done.  _ “Oh my god. _ Audrey, that was…”

Audrey smiled to herself, not even trying to be modest about it. She kissed the corner of Emma’s mouth, on top of one of her dimples. “Yeah?”

Emma sucked in a deep breath, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment. She nodded slowly in response to Audrey’s question. “I've… never done that before.”

Audrey sat up a little, propped up on her elbow so she could look down at Emma. She looked shy, like she was embarrassed to be admitting it.

“You haven't?”

Emma shook her head, opening her eyes to look up at Audrey again. “Will never did, I think he thought it was gay or something.”

Audrey rolled her eyes. She couldn’t exactly say anything bad about the guy now, especially not to Emma, but she  _ really _ had never liked him.

“I know,” Emma replied, giving a soft laugh. “It’s stupid.”

Audrey shook her head, bending to kiss her gently. “It's not stupid. I mean.  _ He _ was a bit stupid, but not you.”

Emma reached up to play with the curtain of black hair that fell over Audrey’s face, pushing her bangs back. She chewed on her bottom lip like she did when she was thinking.

“What is it?” Audrey asked, giving her hip a small squeeze. They hadn't bothered with getting all of their clothes off and they weren't hurrying to put them back on, either.

“I'm just really happy I finally opened my eyes.”

Audrey smiled and bent to kiss her again, slowly. She felt something take root deep within her, in her chest, at those words. Audrey may have tried her best to not be in love with Emma Duval for the better part of her life, but right now, she was so happy that she failed.

She pulled back and rested her forehead on Emma’s for a long moment, just taking her time to breathe her in and really live in Emma’s space. “I'm pretty happy about that too.”

Emma smiled, her eyes glittering. She stole another quick kiss. “Good. I'm also kinda glad Brooke sent that text. A little.”

“Oh you  _ are,” _ Audrey laughed, her eyes lighting up. “God, I can't believe her.”

“She’s definitely something,” Emma laughed, shaking her head. “I don't think you ever stood a chance.”

Audrey shook her head, giving her smile that was supposed to be apologetic. “Nope. Not really.”

Emma laughed at that. “Yeah, I think I can see why.”

Audrey raised her eyebrows at Emma, curious. “Yeah? And what about you?”

“What about me?”

Audrey bit her lip, searching Emma’s features before continuing. “You think you’ve got a chance?”

Emma pursed her lips, staring at Audrey for a moment before she could reply. “Brooke certainly knows what she’s doing, that's for sure.”

“You know she's doing this for you.”

“Yeah, I figured that out,” Emma agreed, smirking. “I mean, yes, there's a part of me that wants to give in, but…”

“But?”

Emma’s eyes darkened a little, and Audrey caught a glimpse of a more devilish side she rarely let out. Audrey had only ever seen it a few times, and it usually meant that Emma’s competitive streak was about to rear its head.

“I kind of like watching her get frustrated.”

Audrey raised her eyebrows in surprise, her mouth falling open a little. “Holy shit, Emma.”

Emma bit her lip at Audrey, a grin underneath. “Is that bad?”

“Fuck, no,” Audrey replied immediately, shaking her head. She didn't think it was possible to be even more turned on by Emma, but she was very wrong. “Not at all. Actually, she probably deserves a little bit of her own medicine.”

Emma laughed again, encouraged by Audrey’s response. “Good, ‘cause she was getting pretty irritated the other day when I didn't give in after that stunt she pulled with the iced tea.”

“Oh god,” Audrey shook her head, giggling now as well. “Well I'm glad I didn't miss anything at least.”

“I didn't say that,” Emma grinned.

“... You have to tell me.”

Emma shook her head, closing her lips and grinning. “No, I don't. Especially since I know you're just gonna report all of this to Brooke.”

Audrey scoffed, indignant. “Wha– that's not true.”

Emma raised her eyebrows, challenging.

“Yeah, okay,” she gave in. “But also, it’s totally not fair you can do that.”

Emma giggled and kissed her chin, and Audrey scrunched her nose at her in answer.

“So you’re okay, then?” Audrey asked, gently rubbing her thumb against Emma’s hip. “With all of this.”

“Audrey, you keep asking that,” Emma replied, leveling her with a pointed look.

“Well I just want to make sure you are,” she protested. “I mean I’ve been on the receiving end of Brooke’s… tactics.”

“I’m fine,” Emma assured her once again. “I promise.”

“Okay,” Audrey accepted, nodding. “Cause you know if you need me to ask Brooke to knock it off, then I will.”

“No,” Emma insisted. She dragged her fingers through Audrey’s hair one last time before sitting up to start fixing her clothes. “Don’t do that, I’m still having too much fun with this.”

Audrey grinned up at Emma, shaking her head before she moved to start putting her clothes back on as well.

Once Emma finally left—which took almost another hour—Audrey pulled out her phone to send Brooke a text.

_ [6:14] Bi-curious: yknow i was starting to get worried about the success of your mission. i think you might still have your work cut out for you tho _

_ [6:15] Scream Queen: did you talk to emma? details _

_ [6:15] Bi-curious: oh there was more than talking. thanks for that btw _

_ [6:16] Scream Queen: at least it’s working for someone _

_ [6:17] Bi-curious: don’t worry, it’s def working for you too but it might be time for you to double down. Emma’s a tough egg to crack _

_ [6:17] Bi-curious: all those years of gay repression, probably _

_ [6:18] Bi-curious: but i think her resistance is starting to run out _

_ [6:18] Scream Queen: i knew i could count on you _

 

* * *

 

Audrey genuinely didn’t know how she was going to survive this war between Emma and Brooke. When she’d agreed to help, she hadn’t actually thought it would last nearly this long. She had figured that either Brooke would find success fairly quickly or Emma would ask her to stop. But here they were, going on almost two weeks and Audrey was dying. She could tell both Emma and Brooke were getting frustrated as well, and she almost wanted to lock them in a closet together so they could just work this out. But tight spaces weren’t really great for any of them anymore, so that was unfortunately out of the question.

She had to endure an entire lunch period where Brooke did nothing but slowly lick a popsicle down to the stick, like it was some kind of fucking art form. Audrey was so distracted that she didn’t even manage to finish her sandwich in time for their next class. Her concentration the rest of the day was absolutely shot, and honestly her schoolwork was starting to suffer. Much more of this and she’d have to demand they exclude her from whatever they were trying to do so she wouldn’t fail half of her classes.

At the end of that same day, before she could make it out to her car, Brooke caught her hand and tugged her toward the gym. She stopped once they were inside the empty locker room, backing up against the brick wall in the back.

Audrey heaved a big sigh, planting a hand on the wall behind Brooke’s head. Despite all the internal complaining, she couldn't deny that she liked the attention. She just didn't know how much more she could take. “Emma’s not even here. What are we doing?”

“She’s on her way,” Brooke explained, reaching out to tug her closer by her belt loops, sandwiching herself between Audrey and the wall. “I texted her to meet me here, so kiss me.”

Never one to say no to request like that—and especially not under current circumstances—Audrey wordlessly bent to press her lips to Brooke’s.

“Mm, turn a little,” Brooke instructed between kisses, turning her just enough so that they were both just visible to anyone coming down the hall. “Perfect.”

Audrey shook her head, letting one hand land on her waist to pull her a little closer. “You’ve thought of everything, huh?”

“Trying to,” Brooke replied, smiling a little as she bumped her nose to Audrey’s “It’s starting to feel like the only ones I’m torturing is the two of us.”

Audrey bent to kiss Brooke again when suddenly Emma appeared beside them, hands on her hips. That burning look was in her eyes again, the one Audrey was starting to know all too well. “Brooke, can I talk to you?”

Audrey cleared her throat, knowing this was probably her cue to leave. “Yeah, I should probably– um. I’m just gonna go get a drink. From the, uh, vending machine. Down the hall.”

She ducked away, leaving Brooke and Emma alone on the other side of a stack of lockers as she went to lean against the row of sinks. She looked up at herself in the mirror, shaking her head. Maybe this was why most people only had one girlfriend, because this was starting to get out of hand.

“Brooke, I know what you’re doing,” Emma’s voice floated over from the other side of the locker room.

Audrey didn’t actually realize she’d still be able to hear them from where she was. She reached up to rake her hands through her hair in distress, searching for some means of escape, but she was trapped. There was no way she could leave without interrupting them, and she  _ really  _ didn’t want to do that. This might be the only chance they got to resolve this and she wasn’t about to get in the way.

“And it’s not working,” Emma continued, a small, almost unnoticeable waver in her voice.

“It isn’t?” Audrey could hear the playful pout in her voice, she knew the exact face Brooke was likely giving Emma.

_ “No, _ it’s not. It’s been almost two weeks, just give it up already.”

_ Please, one of you give it up, _ Audrey silently begged.

“Oh, come on, Emma. Would it really be such a terrible thing to just… give in?”

Emma sputtered. Audrey couldn’t see them, but it sounded like Brooke had Emma cornered. “Yes! It would be!”

“Why is that?”

There was a long pause, long enough that Audrey almost wondered if Emma had bolted. “...  _ Because.” _

“Really? ‘Cause it sounds to me like the only person you’re trying to convince is yourself. It’s just us. All alone. Everyone’s left, and no one will be able to hear us.”

Except for Audrey. Did they not realize she was here? Were they really going to do this with her literally right around the corner? Audrey finally gave in, moving as silently as she could to the row of lockers separating her from them, trying to sneak a peek around the corner.

Initially she had thought Emma was the one who was cornered, but appeared as though the opposite was true, at least physically speaking. Emma towered over Brooke against the wall, her hands still on her hips. Audrey couldn’t quite read Emma's expression, but Brooke was grinning, like she was already celebrating.

Audrey watched as Emma bit on her bottom lip, a sure sign of weakness.  _ Holy shit.  _ This might actually be working.

“Okay, I'll make you a deal.” Brooke started speaking again, staring up at Emma but somehow dwarfing her all the same. She reached out to touch her hand to Emma’s waist, lightly curling her fingers into the fabric of her dress. “You walk away right here, right now, and I'll stop bothering you. Though, really, you didn't seem bothered by most of it.”

Emma looked down at Brooke’s hand on her stomach, taking a deep, shuddering breath. If Audrey knew Emma— _ and she did _ —she’d say that Emma was at her absolute breaking point, still fighting tooth and nail to hold out.

“In fact, you seemed to enjoy most of it,” Brooke continued, stepping a little closer, her other hand now on Emma’s hip. “I  _ am  _ pretty good at this. So, Emma, what's it going to be?”

A dead silence filled the locker room and Audrey had to bite her hand to make sure she didn’t make a sound.

“You know, I’m really gonna miss watching you work so hard, Brooke.”

Audrey’s eyes widened as she watched Emma lunge forward, bending to press against Brooke’s smaller frame and kiss her fiercely. They backed up against the wall and Brooke lifted onto her toes to pull herself close to Emma, giving back just as much she got, if not more.

Brooke reached around Emma’s head to pull her hair out of its ponytail, letting it billow out before burying her hands in it. She bit at Emma’s bottom lip, tugging her by the hips until they connected with her own.

Emma pulled back with a gasp, letting go of Brooke and stepping back. For a second Audrey thought she might be done, that she might leave, but then she reached for Brooke’s arm and pulled her back into her again, backing up until she slammed against the lockers behind her.

With a grin, Brooke found her lips again, having to stretch before she thought better of it and started kissing down Emma’s neck. She pressed against her, reaching for the hem on Emma’s dress, her other hand planted on the small of her back. She released a soft laugh, her lips still on Emma’s neck, as she brushed her knuckles against the front of her underwear.

_ “Brooke,” _ Emma gasped, tilting her head back, eyes squeezed shut.

“Tell me you want it,” Brooke murmured, looking up at her with dark eyes.

Emma nodded, gasping for breath, her chest rising and falling at a rapid rate. “I want you.”

That got another grin from Brooke, just before she reached further up Emma’s dress, pushing past her underwear.

Audrey could no longer make out exactly what was happening, but what she  _ could _ see was still plenty. Emma arched her back at whatever Brooke was doing with her hand, who was apparently putting all of Audrey’s advice to good use. Audrey watched as Emma trembled, reaching up to claw at the lockers behind her, finally grasping onto one of the padlocks for balance. All the while, Brooke watched Emma carefully, gauging every reaction. She’d stop watching every so often to plant kisses across Emma’s neck, her free hand still supporting the small of her back.

Audrey observed from behind the row of lockers as quietly as she could, leaving bite marks in her own arm as Brooke steadily worked Emma into a panting mess. She felt guilty, hiding away like this, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from them. She herself had been in this very position with both of them at one point or another, but it was something else entirely to see it from this perspective. It was certainly… enlightening, that was for sure.

Emma finally trembled against the lockers she was using for support and released one last gasp, trying to quiet herself as she came. She breathed heavily and clutched onto Brooke for balance, who in turn had started gently kissing along her jaw and cheeks before she finally found her mouth.

They kissed slowly, perhaps really taking the chance to test each other this time. It was incredible to see them collapsed against each other this way, to watch as Brooke gently eased Emma back to reality.

“See? That wasn't so bad,” Brooke told her softly, barely more than a whisper. She placed another gentle kiss to Emma’s lips.

“ _ That _ was never my concern,” Emma replied, taking more kisses of her own in between words.

“Then what is it?” Brooke asked. She pulled back a little to look up at her, reaching up to comb her fingers through Emma’s hair, fixing it here and there.

“Audrey keeps asking if we’re okay,” Emma finally replied. She still had one hand clutching tightly to one of the padlocks beside her, the other loosely anchored to the back of Brooke’s neck. “I'm starting to think maybe she's the one who isn't okay.”

“Audrey worries too much,” Brooke replied with a soft sigh. “But she’ll be alright. I think she's still beating herself up, like maybe she doesn't think she deserves any of this.”

Audrey furrowed her brows, listening intently. They just had sex and they were concerned about  _ her? _

“Well,” Emma began. Audrey caught a trace of a smile on her lips. “I guess we’ll just have to convince her that she does.”

Brooke grinned, planting one last kiss to the corner of Emma’s lips. “You read my mind.”

Audrey turned away from them, ducking back around the corner to the other side of the lockers, doing her best to stay quiet as possible. A few moments later she heard the door open and then shut again, which she assumed meant that they had left. She slid down the side of the lockers and landed on the floor, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened.

Well, first of all, she watched Brooke fuck Emma. Which was probably something neither of them had intended for her to see.

“Enjoy the show?”

Audrey almost jumped out of her skin. Brooke had suddenly appeared before her, a hand on her hip and looking entirely pleased with herself.

_ “Shit, _ Brooke,” Audrey swore, her eyes wide. “You knew I was here the whole time?”

“Yeah, where else would you be?” She asked, plopping down to kneel in front of Audrey, between her open legs.

Audrey shook her head, opening her mouth like she had something to say to that.

“It's okay,” Brooke insisted, leaning forward to hover her lips over Audrey’s. “I'm glad you decided to watch.”

Audrey was completely speechless, her lips still parted. Brooke reached up to touch her face, slowly tracing two fingers along Audrey’s bottom lip before popping them both into her mouth.

Audrey groaned as the unmistakable taste of Emma spread across her tongue. She wrapped her lips around Brooke’s fingers instinctively, sucking them clean. It was positively obscene, and she might feel a little more shame in it if she wasn’t already so fucking turned on that she almost came at the taste of Emma under Brooke’s fingernails.

A grin pulled at Brooke’s lips as she watched. “You know, I had always kind of wondered what Emma would be like. Thanks for helping out, baby.”

She pulled her fingers free of Audrey’s mouth, replacing them with her lips. Brooke gripped the back of Audrey’s neck and kissed her deeply before suddenly she was gone, retreating out of the locker room and leaving Audrey alone to put herself back together.

She didn't even make it out of the school parking lot before she had to stop and deal with the ache between her legs.


	7. stay another hour or two

“Now, the defense attorney—Mr. Sterling—is going to try and confuse you. Make it seem like you misunderstood the events leading up to Mr. Wilcox’s arrest.”

Audrey looked up from the table at the woman sitting across from her: Assistant District Attorney Andrea Carmichael, the prosecutor for Kieran’s trial. Audrey had been chewing on her lip, hard enough to draw a little blood on the inside of it. The acrid taste spread across her tongue as she kept thinking back to what Noah had said to her. This wasn’t going to be easy.

She felt like she was getting whiplash again, but for entirely different reasons. On the one hand, it was great that it felt like she, Emma and Brooke were all finally getting on the same page, but on the other hand, not one of them had time to do much of anything about that right now. Not when Kieran’s trial was literally right around the corner.

“But I  _ do  _ understand,” Audrey replied, furrowing her brows.

“I know,” Carmichael said, her voice steady and soothing. At the very least, Audrey appreciated that Carmichael seemed to be genuinely concerned about all of them. Who knew if any other lawyer would have been sympathetic enough to try the case without Emma’s testimony. “Just answer the questions as honestly and as briefly as you can.”

“Like yes and no answers,” Audrey nodded. She could do that, probably. She just had to keep her cool and stick to what she knew. Like the fact that Kieran deserved to spend the rest of the life Emma had so kindly let him keep behind bars. “I understand.”

“Good,” Carmichael approved, giving her a small, comforting smile. “Look directly at the defense when he’s asking questions and look at me when I’m asking them. Mr. Wilcox will be there, as you know, but he can’t say anything to you or the other witnesses.”

Audrey nodded, clenching her jaw a little. The thought of seeing Kieran again made her blood boil. She should try to figure out how to keep that in check before she actually had to face him. “How long do you think it’s gonna take?”

“I’m going to try and make it go as fast as possible,” Carmichael promised, taking a sip from her coffee. She had brought a cup for Audrey too, but hers was still practically full. “The defense, on the other hand…”

“Yeah,” she nodded again, dropping her gaze to stare at the lid of her cup, which had long since gone cold.

“You and your friends are going to do great,” Carmichael told her, her steely blue eyes piercing through Audrey’s guard. It was oddly comforting, even if it made her feel a little exposed. She assumed it worked really well in court. “You’ve all been a big help to this case and I have confidence that everything can go smoothly. Just remember what we’ve discussed.”

“Yes or no answers. Honest and brief,” Audrey repeated, nodding again.

“Good,” Carmichael smiled. “Now, let’s go over the facts and what you’ve told me again. We want to paint a clear picture of what happened that night and everything leading up to it.”

* * *

 

It was pretty overwhelming, all of this trial stuff. Audrey didn’t like to think about it too often, but she didn’t really have that much of a choice after her meetings with Carmichael. Noah’s words kept echoing in her head, no matter how much the ADA assured her that everything would be okay as long as they all did their part.

Drained and honestly a little bummed after the meeting, she steered her car towards Brooke’s house instead of her own. She needed a distraction, something other than impending doom of the trial to focus on, and distraction was one of the things that Brooke was best at.

She didn’t even have to bother with texting, they’d briefly talked earlier about her coming over anyway. So when she pulled up to Brooke’s house and parked, she let herself in through the front door, expecting to find Brooke watching reruns on the couch like usual.

Instead she found just the reruns and a half-empty sixpack of beer. And also several items of clothing scattered around the couch, some of which she immediately recognized as  _ Emma’s. _

It wasn’t as if it took a degree in rocket science to put two and two together, but as soon as she did Audrey was pretty sure she felt something short-circuit in her brain and she blanked for a solid ten seconds. She picked up a bra that had been tossed aside— _ Emma’s _ — and blinked at it, her mouth hanging open.

Fuck.

She wasn’t upset, not exactly. She’d obviously be the world’s biggest hypocrite if she got mad about this, but she couldn’t stop feeling more than a little disappointed that she’d apparently missed something. Witnessing Emma and Brooke in the locker room a few days ago had given her plenty to picture while… daydreaming, and now she had confirmation that her dreams were actually playing out in reality. No, she wasn’t angry, not even in the slightest, just maybe a little left out. Which was stupid, right?

She gave a small huff and shook herself from that line of thought, dropping the bra back onto the couch before reaching to steal one of the beers that had been left behind. She hiked upstairs, mentally preparing herself for what she might find in Brooke’s bedroom.

After knocking softly, she let the door swing open to find Brooke and Emma on the bed, fully clothed… mostly. Emma was in one of Brooke’s old t-shirts and a pair of shorts, and she couldn’t help but notice that neither of them seemed to be wearing much else than that. And if that wasn’t enough of a giveaway, they were both uncharacteristic messes, hair everywhere and cheeks still a little flush.

She tilted her head at the two of them and leaned against the frame of the door, trying very hard not to think right now about just how many ways they could have fucked in the two or three hours she’d spent at the courthouse. “Did you two have sex?”

Brooke sent her a wide grin in answer, clearing her throat before replying. “What makes you think that?”

“Well, the clothes you left downstairs were the first clues,” Audrey replied, returning a sardonic smirk. Yeah, she definitely couldn’t be mad about this. She twisted the cap off of the beer in her hands, continuing. “And second, you both look  _ thoroughly  _ fucked.”

Brooke just shrugged and Audrey immediately caught the blush that rose to Emma’s cheeks, the shy smile she gave. She knew that look. It was the same look Emma gave her when she was ready to make a move, or when she was proud of herself for doing something that Audrey clearly liked. They were both obviously pretty pleased with themselves.

_ “Man,” _ Audrey complained, moving to slump onto the edge of the bed next to them, taking a swig of her beer. She really was happy for Emma and Brooke,  _ thrilled _ even. This was good news, and it did a lot to ease her mind about any potential roadblocks in their relationship. But also, what the hell had she missed? “And I had to spend all night with Carmichael, what a rip.”

She heard Brooke laugh as the two of them moved to either side of her. At least this wasn’t awkward. “Hey, maybe next time you’ll get an invite.”

Audrey raised her eyebrows, her brain doing that short-circuit thing again. Sure, she had definitely considered that before now, especially after being a first-hand witness to the culmination of Brooke’s weeks-long pursuit of Emma. But she still hadn’t thought that it would come up so soon, if at all.  _ And _ she didn’t even have to be the one to bring it up, either.

“Besides,” Emma cut through her thoughts, reaching to steal some of her beer. “It's not like you didn't get to watch last time.”

_ Fuck. _ Audrey’s jaw dropped and she felt her face heat up. How did Emma know? She looked between Brooke and Emma, her eyes wide. “Oh my god, you knew too? Did Brooke tell you?”

“Please, you weren't nearly as sneaky as you thought you were,” Brooke replied, leveling her with a look. “We both heard you when you tried to hide.”

_ Fuckity fuck fuck. _ Audrey continued to gape at them, any semblance of coherent thought completely escaping her. “Well, fuck.”

“If either of us were upset about it, you'd know by now,” came Emma’s pragmatic reasoning as she reached to smooth Audrey’s bangs. Between Emma’s soothing words and gentle touch, she was pretty effective at calming Audrey’s nerves about this before they managed to kick into gear.    
  
So it was okay that she watched. That was certainly… a concept.

“We should probably be thanking you, actually,” Brooke added smoothly. Audrey turned to look at her as she set a hand on her thigh. “Who knows if all of this ever would have happened without you.”

This was… a lot. Had they talked about this? Were they somehow conspiring to put her into an early grave by way of overactive teenage hormones? At this point she didn’t think she’d put it past either of them. “Well. When you figure out how you want to… thank me.” She cleared her throat, certain that she was pretty red now, and she was  _ definitely _ turned on. Which they both probably could tell. “You know where I am.”

Audrey watched as Brooke and Emma exchanged a look. Yeah, they definitely had it out for her. She was a dead woman.

Just when Audrey didn’t think she could take it anymore, a phone started ringing from downstairs and cut through the heightening tension, offering relief.

“Crap, what time is it?” Emma asked as she turned to try and find the clock on Brooke’s nightstand.

“It was like eight-thirty when I left the courthouse,” Audrey offered, still a little shaken up. She grabbed her beer back, taking a much-needed drink from it. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I should get back home is all,” Emma answered as she stood, frowning a little at them both. “That’s probably my mom. She doesn’t like it when I stay out late anymore.”

That made sense. They had survived two murder sprees and even though those were probably over, Audrey didn’t see the harm in being cautious. (Nevermind that Brooke and Audrey were both doing their part to strip Maggie’s daughter of her virtue, and any parent might justly be concerned about that if they knew, but that was beside the point.)

“Well, call us if you need anything,” Brooke offered, resting her head on Audrey’s shoulder. “Or if you want to press your luck and sneak away from your mom.”

Audrey smirked. Brooke never let up, but hell if she hadn’t been thinking the same thing.

“Tempting,” Emma replied, smiling back at both of them. She stopped to press a light kiss to Audrey’s forehead, then Brooke’s. “But I should probably play it safe. For now.”

“Boo,” Brooke pouted.

“Goodnight guys,” Emma told them with a laugh, waving to them both as she retreated downstairs.

The moment that Audrey was sure Emma was gone she rounded on Brooke, eyebrows raised in question.

“What, you want a play-by-play?” Brooke replied, lifting her head to smirk at Audrey.

Audrey shook her head, trying to formulate a response. On the one hand, yes, she very much did want a play-by-play. On the other, Brooke was  _ incorrigible _ . “Did you just like... wait for the first opportunity to pounce on Emma again?”

“I mean, not explicitly,” Brooke explained, not exactly denying it. “You know how these things go.”

“With you? Yeah, I do,” Audrey grinned, bumping her shoulder with Brooke’s. “So have you figured out what the fuss is all about? You know, about Emma.”

Brooke grinned, leaning close to steal a swift kiss. Audrey could taste a lingering trace of chocolate on her lips. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I get it.”

Audrey bit her lip, leaning her forehead against Brooke’s. “Good.”

* * *

 

“Are you kicking us out?” asked Brooke, slumped on Emma’s couch next to Audrey. It was the evening before they were due at court and Emma was hosting a pre-trial Disney movie binge for the three of them in hopes that it would help keep their minds off of the next morning. It had… kind of worked.

Audrey cocked an eyebrow at Emma, almost a little offended.

“I am absolutely kicking you out,” Emma nodded, arms folded defiantly as she stared the both of them down.

Audrey turned to Brooke next to her on the couch, a small pout on her lips, then back to Emma. “C’mon, it’s not even nine yet.”

“Yeah, and tomorrow is going be very stressful, so you both need to actually sleep tonight,” Emma argued, holding her hands out to both of them to help them off the couch. “It’s the first day of trial. I mean… I don’t want you guys to have to face that sleep-deprived. So try to get some sleep? For me?”

Audrey turned to Brooke again and heaved a big sigh in resignation.  _ “Fine.” _

Brooke took Emma’s hand and hoisted herself up, fixing her hair as soon as she was on her feet. “Emma’s probably got a point. I mean, if I’m gonna have to sit up there in front of like two hundred people tomorrow I at least want to get  _ some _ beauty rest.”

Audrey rolled her eyes and let Emma help her up as well, a smirk on her lips.

“See?” Emma replied, squeezing her hand. “It’s okay, you guys can come back over tomorrow and tell me everything.”

“Yeah, okay,” Audrey replied, her chest tightening a little. It had felt like she had a vice on her ribcage all night, a dull dread restricting her. She’d mostly been able to ignore it, but as she got up to leave, the reality of what they faced tomorrow suddenly loomed over her. “C’mon Brooke, I’ll take you home.”

“And then go to your  _ own house,” _ Emma warned, raising her eyebrows at them both pointedly. The specifics of their relationship, their three-sided  _ thing, _ were still a little blurry, but at least they could all acknowledge it openly; Emma was fully aware of what usually happened when Brooke and Audrey were left alone at night. They just hadn’t found the time to talk everything else out quite yet.

“I’ll make sure she goes home,” Brooke promised, stepping closer to Emma and pulling her into a tight embrace. She lifted onto her toes to plant a firm kiss to her cheek.

Emma smiled at Brooke and gave her one last squeeze before turning to Audrey. They held each other close and Audrey buried her nose in the crook of Emma’s neck, breathing her in, then lifted her head to steal a chaste kiss.

“You guys are gonna be great,” Emma told them, taking both of their hands in hers. “Come over tomorrow afterward, okay?”

“Of course,” Audrey agreed, trying a small smile. “We’ll tell you all about it.”

“Thank you.” Emma gave their hands one last squeeze before she let go, walking them to the door.

The drive to Brooke’s house was quiet. Audrey kept her eyes on the road, but her free hand was tightly clutched in Brooke’s. Apparently, neither of them felt particularly excited or chatty regarding what they expected to face in the morning. So they didn't speak, and the soft crooning of the newest pop radio star filled the silence instead as Audrey gently stroked her thumb across Brooke’s knuckles.

Audrey pulled into Brooke’s driveway and parked, the silence between them almost deafening in the absence of the idling engine.

“I know I told Emma I’d send you home,” Brooke finally said, breaking their shared silence. “But will you come in? Just for a little bit.”

Audrey turned to Brooke and nodded, a little grateful for the request. She wasn't sure if she was ready to be alone tonight yet, and if Brooke needed her then there was no way in hell she’d leave her to face the night alone. “Yeah, of course.”

Brooke gave a small sigh of relief and nodded quickly, squeezing Audrey's hand before slipping out of the passenger seat.

Audrey followed her into the house and then up to her room, still quiet as they walked the familiar path. There was plenty to say, more than enough to talk about in the face of something as daunting as this trial, but Audrey didn't even know where to start. She had no idea what she could say or do to help calm even her own nerves, let alone Brooke’s.

So instead she let Brooke help her out of her jacket and pull her to the edge of the bed. Brooke sat down and buried herself in Audrey’s arms, wrapping herself in Audrey like she was her own personal life raft. Audrey stood between her legs, cheek rested on top of Brooke’s head and hands slowly stroking her back, fingertips along her spine.

Audrey took in a deep breath, filling her senses with the smell of Brooke’s floral shampoo, soothed by the way Brooke had her hand snuck up the back of her shirt. Just that skin-to-skin contact eased her mind enough to allow it wander for the first time in days to something besides her dizzying anxiety. So much had happened over the past six months. It was more than clear that their relationship had changed immensely ever since Brooke called her that first night because her house was too empty, and she didn’t want to be alone. Audrey couldn’t quite place her finger on it, but there was something she loved about the way Brooke had wrapped herself up in Audrey’s life, much like the thicket of vines that had climbed and snaked their way up the side of her house over the years. Or even now, with the way Brooke clung to her, and nothing broke their silent moment save for the sounds of soft breathing. Audrey didn’t think she’d be able to shake herself free of Brooke even if she wanted to, and she had every certainty that she did not want to.

That sudden realization hit her in the chest. She wanted Brooke, not just physically, or when the nights got cold and lonely. She wanted Brooke’s messy hair in the morning and she wanted Brooke’s afternoon coffee order. This had turned into a lot more than just comfort sex a long time ago, and all of a sudden, Audrey couldn't think about anything else. It was all she could do to stop herself from giving it away, even as she pulled back to hold Brooke’s face in her hands and look at her. It was like she was laying eyes on Brooke for the first time, or at least the first time she could really  _ see _ her, and in that moment, she knew. This was real. As real as it got.

At least, until Brooke finally spoke, shaking Audrey from her revelations.

“He killed Jake, Audrey.”

Audrey’s heart sank and she swallowed a hard lump in her throat. “I know."

"He…” Brooke shook her head, looking up at her with shining eyes. “He killed my  _ dad. _ How am I supposed to just look at him, like… How can I look him in the face when I  _ know?” _

Audrey stared down at Brooke with an empty ache in her chest. If only she could somehow make it so Brooke didn't have to do it, so she could stay home with Emma. So she could protect them, and they could keep each other safe.

"Because we have to,” Audrey finally answered. She pushed Brooke’s bangs away from her face and cradled her head in her hands, wishing she had the power to stop this world from hurting them. From hurting  _ Brooke, _ who had never been anything but collateral damage. “We'll do it because we have to. We owe it to Jake, and your dad, and all of them."

“Yeah."

Audrey hugged Brooke’s small frame to herself tighter and didn't say anything else. What else was there to say? Audrey couldn't shield her from this, no matter how much she wanted to. She owed a lot to Brooke, and even beyond that, she cared very deeply for this girl. It frustrated her beyond what words could express that she couldn't just make things better.

Instead of making Audrey go home, Brooke pulled her into bed once she finally detached herself from Audrey’s middle. She helped Audrey out of her jeans and slipped out of her own clothes as well, but neither of them were here to fuck, not tonight. Audrey settled into Brooke's arms, head against her sternum and, eventually, the motion of Brooke's chest rising and falling lulled her into something resembling sleep. It wasn't particularly restful, but it still somehow left her invigorated enough to face the day feeling something besides an overwhelming sense of dread. She might have been reading into things a little; but from the long, hard kiss Brooke gave her before pushing her out the door with  _ "Go, not all of us can just artistically ruffle our hair in the morning and look perfect," _ Audrey was pretty sure that she and Brooke had found something more than just comfort in each other that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come find us at [chiltongirlsdoitbetter](http://chiltongirlsdoitbetter.tumblr.com/) and [dickryders](http://dickryders.tumblr.com/) on tumblr fam


	8. they'll be carving you up alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: This fic's legal system is based entirely on the legal system of Law and Order, which we've both now officially watched way too much of.
> 
> We apologize if this is nothing like the actual legal system, or if you hate Law and Order.

By the time they all met at the courthouse, Audrey was a nervous wreck. Her stomach was in knots and her palms were sweaty, and she was glad that Brooke had helped her pick out a nice shirt and blazer to wear so she didn’t have to fall back on her old Sunday clothes. (Her mom had picked out most of them, and she’d never felt truly comfortable in the wide array of Sunday dresses that she didn’t have the heart to get rid of.)

The steps leading up to the courthouse were filled with cameras and reporters, each one elbowing the others to try and shove their microphones into Audrey’s face as she was escorted inside along with Noah and Brooke. Carmichael had advised all of them to keep quiet about the case; besides, Audrey didn’t want to give any of them the pleasure anyway. If anything, there was more of a danger that she’d start wailing on the next person to shout inane questions at her. _“How does it feel to testify against your friend?” “Where is Emma Duval?” “Is she absent because she’s still in love with Kieran Wilcox?”_

She clenched her fists and shoved them into her pockets to help her keep them to herself.

Inside, the courthouse was less hectic, but only just. The TV crews were absent and it was much quieter in comparison, but there were still tons of people milling around. Once it was clear who the three of them were, people started staring and whispering to one another. It did little to help her nerves.

Brooke looked over to Audrey to catch her eyes, reaching to squeeze her hand from where she had been trying to rub warmth back into her fingertips from biting cold outside. That _did_ help, at least a little. She was glad she didn’t have to face this alone. Noah shared a look with them as well, giving them both a small smile before following their escort into the courtroom proper.

Audrey took a look around the room as they found their seats in the gallery. The courtroom was somehow even more intimidating when it was filled with people. There was a smattering of reporters with notepads, and jurors slowly filing in to find their seats, as well as various other officials and curious members of the community. Audrey was honestly just glad she wouldn’t have to be the first to take the stand. That pleasure fell squarely on Brooke’s shoulders, and she wasn't envious.

Her eyes landed on Carmichael and she straightened in her seat a little at the reminder that they did have _someone_ on their side. And Carmichael seemed like one hell of a lawyer, as far as she could tell. Sure, maybe her experience with lawyers was mostly limited to movies and TV, but she certainly _looked_ the part. She was in a sleek business suit and had a pair of glasses perched on her nose, her dark hair falling in loose curls to her shoulders. Carmichael turned to appraise the three of them and she gave them a small nod and a smile in greeting. That lessened the dread she felt in the pit of her stomach, if only a little.

Across the aisle stood the defense attorney, hovering over his desk as he went over his notes. Audrey had never seen the man before, but she already didn’t like him. His finely-tailored suit and perfect haircut dripped with an air of entitled douchebag schmuck that she’d already imagined him to be. Of fucking _course_ this was Kieran’s lawyer. Between the two of them they were probably keeping the hair gel industry in business all on their own.

Audrey was busy imagining just how much time this prick probably spent on just his hair in the morning when the entire room went dead silent. A door in the far corner of the room opened and Audrey’s chest seized up as in strode the shackled figure of Kieran Wilcox, surrounded by officers and dressed in a suit and tie. (Audrey hadn’t even thought he owned a real suit.)

A chill ran up her spine as Audrey felt Noah and Brooke both stiffen in their seats beside her, and she heard Brooke inhale sharply. Audrey reached for her hand again, squeezing it tightly as they watched the officers escort Kieran to his seat. Audrey had never seen him like this before. There was something hollow in his eyes, and even though he seemed to be freshly shaved, it didn’t look like he was fully put together. His hair was slicked back, but it didn’t have the same effortless neatness that he’d always been able to achieve in the past. Audrey’s lip curled in distaste and she dug her nails into her own thigh. She knew she had to keep her cool, but _jesus christ,_ she hated him.

People started settling in their seats and a few moments later the judge entered from her quarters. It was impossible to miss her entrance, with the bailiff’s commanding, “All rise, honorable Judge Elaine Burke presiding,” calling the room to attention. She was a petite, black woman, with gray hair pulled back into a tight bun and an elegant pair of wire-framed glasses perched on her nose. She took her seat at the front of the courtroom and pursed her lips as she shuffled through a few of her papers, before finally looking up at the captive audience.

 _Shit_ this was really happening.

The judge waved for them all to sit down as she cleared her throat. “Now, before we start, just a little bit about how I run my court. Obviously, this is an extremely high-profile case—and as I’m sure is abundantly clear to all of you, we have the eyes of many upon us. And so, I will not tolerate disrespect or insubordination from the witness stand, the gallery, or counsel. Is that clear?”

The judge was apparently satisfied with the complete silence that followed in answer.

“Very good. I will reiterate that no photography or video recordings are permitted in the courtroom; it may be a circus outside, but in here, I will see the law be served with at least some modicum of proper decorum. So. Let us begin. Counsel, opening speeches?”

Carmichael stood up from behind her desk and walked out from behind it to address the jury. She looked… well, stunning, really. Audrey certainly wasn’t blind, and there was a small part of her that couldn’t ignore just how good this whole power and authority thing looked on Carmichael—even in the middle of her nerves and anger over having to be here in the first place.

Carmichael cleared her throat, easily commanding the attention of the entire room. “The most difficult part of this case for you will be to somehow truly understand the sheer volume of human suffering Piper Shaw and Kieran Wilcox inflicted upon the city of Lakewood,” she began, her piercing eyes trained on the twelve jurors before her. “For months, the town hung on a razor’s edge, dreading waking up every morning to learn which of its bright, young students were the next to be brutally murdered while they slept. Parents lost sleep, worrying for the safety of their children. Friends found some way to soldier on, when the number of missing seats in class and heartbreaking portraits at the school memorial grew by the day. Piper Shaw, unfortunately, is not here today to answer for her crimes; slain by her intended victims, she is beyond the reach of our earthly courts. Kieran Wilcox, however, is not.”

She took a singled step forward, toward the jury box, and set her gaze upon each individual member as she spoke. “It is your duty to make him answer for the horrors they both perpetrated against the people of Lakewood,” she continued. “It is your duty to end this town’s long nightmare, to allow its residences to sleep peacefully once more. To this end, you will hear from those whom Mr. Wilcox harmed the most: his friends, who he psychologically tortured, physically injured, and personally terrified, all while claiming to be one of their best friends. Claiming to be a victim, just like them, when that could not be farther from the truth. You will also hear from the brave law enforcement, who collected the preponderance of evidence to put this man away for life. Together, they will dispel any shadow of doubt you might have that Kieran Wilcox is responsible for these despicable crimes, so that you might do your part—to convict this defendant, this man, this menace to society, of the horrors he has wrought, so that no innocent human will suffer at his hands ever again.”

God, she was good at this. Audrey stared at her, a little in awe, as Carmichael spoke with such commanding conviction that Audrey could almost forget her own personal stake in this whole circus and just appreciate the craft of Carmichael’s speech. Audrey snuck a quick glance at Brooke and Noah, who looked equally, if not more, enraptured. And with good reason.

The feeling was short-lived, however, as it was soon the defense lawyer’s turn to stand and make his statements. Kieran’s lawyer, a Mr. Tripp Sterling according to Carmichael’s pre-trial texts, stood and took his place in front of the jury. Everything this man did, every slight turn of his head down to the way he straightened his tie, seemed so slimy to Audrey that it felt like she was swimming in molasses just looking at him.

“The state would have you believe that one young man caused all this suffering,” he spoke, standing straight as he addressed the jury box. “The state would have you believe that this one boy—barely more than a _child_ —killed almost a dozen people in the span of a week, while maintaining a constant campaign of terror and humiliation against the town and some of its brightest… teenagers _._ The state would have you believe that these _teenagers_ alone can be trusted, can be taken at their word when they place the blame at this young man’s feet for all of their suffering.”

Sterling paused dramatically, casting his gaze across the twelve individual members of the jury. “Ladies and gentlemen, the state is _lying.”_

“Yes, they will present to you evidence supposedly linking Mr. Wilcox to a long list of crimes. However, they will not mention that all of it is entirely circumstantial, and none of it directly ties my client to any of these crimes. The state will also present to you the stories of, again, _teenagers._ However, they will not mention that these witnesses, beyond the trauma of the past year, have their own dark and disturbing pasts, which make them equally likely to have committed these crimes.”

Sterling unbuttoned his jacket, slipping a hand into his suit pocket as he continued. He raised his other hand to illustrate his point, playing the crowd. “Now, I do not blame the state for laying these charges against Kieran Wilcox. The horrors the town has suffered over the past year are, no doubt, terrible tragedies, and I can only pray that the person or persons responsible for it are one day brought to justice. But that day is, unfortunately, not today. Do not punish an innocent boy for a monster’s crimes. Do not lay these crimes at this boy’s feet because it is easy, because it might bring the town some measure of peace. Examine the evidence, and examine your heart, and you will see that you cannot be certain Kieran Wilcox committed these crimes. And if you have even one ounce of doubt in your heart that he is, as the state claims, ‘a menace to society,’ then you are morally and legally obligated to force the state to release him, and find the true killer. For by the principles this country was founding on, by the doctrine of ‘innocent until proven guilty,’ Kieran Wilcox is an innocent young man.”

If Audrey had felt like punching this defense lawyer _(Tripp Sterling_ , god even his name was stupid) in the face five minutes ago, then right now it was all she could do to refrain from vaulting over the railing that separated the gallery from the rest of the courtroom to kick him in the groin. Repeatedly. The only thing stopping her was the fact that she couldn’t believe that someone was actually going to such lengths to suggest that Kieran was innocent. Well, that and Brooke’s hand tightly fisted in the back of her jacket.

The judge had started speaking again, once both lawyers finished their opening statements. Audrey, at least for the moment, was distracted from her overwhelming urge to brutally maim both men sitting behind the defendant’s table.

“Of course, what Mr. Sterling is referring to is the legal concept of reasonable doubt, a vital concept for you to understand as the arbiters of this trial. The burden is on the State to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant is guilty of the charges made against him,” Judge Burke explained, addressing the jury with candor. “What is proof beyond a reasonable doubt? The term is often used and probably pretty well understood, though it is not easily defined. Proof beyond a reasonable doubt does not mean proof beyond all _possible_ doubt, for everything in the lives of human beings is open to some possible or imaginary doubt. A charge is proved beyond a reasonable doubt if, after you have compared and considered all of the evidence, you have in your minds an abiding conviction, to a moral certainty, that the charge is true. When we refer to moral certainty, we mean the highest degree of certainty possible...”

Audrey had stopped being able to keep up about halfway through the speech, narrowing her eyes in confusion. She leaned to mutter to Brooke and Noah next to her, completely lost. “Does anyone else kind of think this sounds like bullshit? Is she _trying_ to make it sound there could be doubt?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Brooke reprimanded in a hushed voice. “The jury needs to understand their responsibility. She’s explaining that ‘reasonable doubt’ doesn’t mean that they can’t consider there’s a _possibility_ that Kieran didn’t do it, just that, by the evidence presented, that they feel certain that he did.”

“But there _isn’t_ a possibility that he didn’t do it,” Audrey reminded her, increasingly annoyed by this whole fiasco by the second.

“That’s not the point,” Brooke argued. She straightened in her chair, tossing her hair over one shoulder. “It’s the court’s responsibility to ensure a fair proceeding and present their cases with facts and evidence, not a witch hunt. Basically, it just means that it’s Carmichael’s job to prove that he did it, and not that cut-rate _Cary Agos’s_ job to prove that he didn’t.”

Audrey stared at Brooke, dumbfounded. She caught a glance of Noah’s near-identical expression from Brooke’s other side.

“Look, _some_ of us paid attention in witness prep,” Brooke protested, rolling her eyes. “I really don’t know what to tell you–”

“The state calls Brooke Maddox to the stand.” Carmichael’s voice interrupted their argument, and the three of them snapped to attention.

Brooke stood and moved past Audrey, throwing a quick wink at her. “Showtime.”

Audrey stiffened a little as she watched Brooke approach the stand and take her seat next to the judge. None of them had been able to sleep much over the past few nights as the defense and prosecution started ramping up their cases, but somehow that didn’t stop Brooke from looking incredible, if not much softer than normal. There was a pink hue to her cheeks and lips, complimented by the floral pattern on her demure dress. She was sure that every inch, head to toe, was calculated, but that didn’t mean Audrey couldn’t appreciate it. Or at least she would, if she wasn’t so nervous that she felt like she was gonna puke.

Noah turned to her and reached for her arm, giving it a small, comforting squeeze, like he could read her thoughts. She gave him a grateful smile. It helped that he was there.

Carmichael stood, presenting a fairly imposing figure in her steel gray suit and heels. She approached the stand and surveyed Brooke before she began. “Ms. Maddox. It’s been kind of a rough year for you.”

“You could definitely say that,” Brooke replied with a hint of bitterness.

“I’d like to give the court some perspective on your testimony, if that’s alright with you.”

Brooke nodded and straightened a little, preparing herself. “Of course.”

“How many of the defendant’s victims did you personally know?” Carmichael asked evenly.

“Almost all of them.”

“Do you mind if we go down the list?”

Brooke nodded, looking a little less sure of herself. This was planned, of course. Carmichael was going to go through this with almost all of them, but Brooke’s list was by far the most powerful—hence why she was testifying first.

Carmichael gave Brooke a small nod, encouraging her. “Nina Patterson?”

“She was my best friend,” Brooke began, taking a deep breath. “For my entire life.”

“Tyler O’Neill?”

“I’ve known him since first grade.”

“Riley Marra?”

Brooke paused a moment to smile wistfully. “My other best friend.”

Audrey felt Noah shift in his seat and she reached to touch her hand to his knee. Audrey had never known Riley that well, but she knew that one was especially hard for everyone else.

“Will Belmont?” Carmichael continued. She somehow managed to maintain a professional air without sounding insincere. Audrey had to hand it to her, she clearly knew what she was doing. _Thank god._

Just then Kieran’s defense lawyer stood, straightening his tie, and the overwhelming urge to punch something was back. She knew she was definitely biased, but that knowledge didn’t make her knuckles itch any less. “Objection, your honor, is this really necessary? Most of these tragic deaths aren’t even being attributed to my client.”

“First of all, your client is at least an accessory to all of these murders,” Carmichael immediately stepped in, her jaw set determinedly. “Second, this establishes the witness’ credibility. She knew these kids. She knows what it did to Emma Duval and the rest of her friends to lose them one by one.”

Judge Burke peered sternly through her glasses to consider them both for a moment. “I’ll allow it. I’m interested in hearing this, as I’m sure the jury is also.”

“Thank you.” Carmichael nodded to the judge before turning back to the witness stand. “Brooke, Will Belmont?”

“We… we did a science project together in fourth grade on noise pollution,” Brooke replied, clearing her throat. She let a small smile tug at the corners of her lips. “He was terrified lawnmowers for a month after that.”

“Sheriff Clark Hudson?”

“My father was the mayor, so, I saw the Sheriff a lot. You know, when I was little, he always brought candy when he had to come to our house,” Brooke sighed, then straightened, her voice like steel. “He didn’t deserve what Kieran and Piper did to him.”

Kieran’s lawyer stood again, raising a hand in protest. _“Objection,_ your honor–”

“Sustained,” Judge Burke cut him off sternly, turning to Brooke. “Leave the accusations out of your answers, Ms. Maddox.”

“Of course. Sorry,” Brooke replied quickly, shaking her head.

Audrey was pretty sure she just did that to delay the next question. They all knew who was next on the list, though she was probably the only one who noticed the slow whitening of Brooke’s knuckles where she gripped the podium.

“Thank you, Brooke, just a few more,” Carmichael assured her. She paused momentarily before reading the next name. “Jake Fitzgerald?”

“Yeah. Yeah, we–” Brooke faltered, looking down at her hands. Audrey caught a small tremble in her bottom lip before she composed herself again. She couldn’t tell if anyone else had seen it. “We dated. I think I loved him.”

Carmichael trained her eyes on Brooke, letting that statement hang heavily over the courtroom. She could see a few jurors shift uncomfortably in their seats before she finally continued. “And, Seth Branson?”

Brooke didn’t even blink. “He was my English teacher.”

“Zoe Vaughn?”

“We were friends, by the end,” she replied, that small, sad smile back on her lips. “I helped her win the pageant, before, well…”

“And, of course… Quinn Maddox?”

Brooke shrugged, her expression stony. Audrey knew that she had to be holding a lot back. “My dad. Obviously. Everyone here probably got that one already.”

“Thank you, Ms Maddox,” Counselor Carmichael replied graciously, closing the notebook in her hands. “Then, would it be fair to say that you’ve suffered this past year?”

“Uh, duh,” Brooke deadpanned, squaring her shoulders. “We haven’t even gotten to the part where I was stabbed— _twice._ Can’t forget those _wonderful_ experiences!”

She flashed the jury a winning smile, as a few chuckles rippled through the courtroom. Audrey even caught a couple of the jurors in the back row ducking their heads into their notes to hide smiles. Considering how uncomfortable the subject matter was, Audrey had to marvel a little bit at how easily Brooke seemed to be charming the room. Her easy humor came as a welcome relief, even if Audrey could see she was hiding behind it. If Brooke kept this up, the trial would be a piece of cake.

“In an effort to avoid displeasing Mr. Sterling further, why don’t we focus on the more recent losses,” Carmichael continued, leaning against her own desk table. “You can probably speak better to them anyway.”

Brooke nodded, shifting a little in her seat as she prepared herself.

“Were you with Jake Fitzgerald on the night of March third?”

“Yes,” she replied, nodding. “That was the day Emma came home.”

“From where, exactly?” Carmichael prodded.

“Uh, therapy. She kind of took a break from Lakewood after… well. Piper’s—” Brooke paused to gesture vaguely, _“—everything._ We didn’t want her to feel left out, though, so we helped throw her a welcome back party.”

“What happened after the party?”

“Once the party broke up, Emma went off with, um.” She faltered, stumbling a little as she took a fleeting glance toward the defendant’s table. It was the first time Brooke had paid that side of the room any attention, and she paled a little before she could regain her bearings. “With Kieran, and I texted Jake to follow me.”

Carmichael held her gaze firmly, giving Brooke a moment to maintain her composure. “Where did you go?”

“We went to the school. I wanted to go swimming, and my pool would be too cold and my dad was home, so we broke into the school’s pool.”

A small smile spread across Carmichael’s lips, and she cocked an eyebrow. “I’m guessing you didn’t just swim the entire time, though.”

“We um, messed around a bit,” Brooke replied, clearing her throat. She returned Carmichael’s smile shyly, shrugging. “Before he told me that he wanted to go public, tell everyone about us. I freaked out. I didn’t want more drama, especially with my dad—we had just started getting along again, and he _hated_ Jake for that whole… video, blackmailing thing, whatever you want to call it. So. Yeah.”

Carmichael gave her another sympathetic nod, leaning against the stand, gently urging Brooke through the whole story. “And what happened next?”

“He… Jake compared that to my previous, _extremely_ unhealthy relationship, I got pissed, and I broke up with him and stormed out.” Brooke cleared her throat and looked down at her lap, her voice wavering a little when she spoke again. “That was the last time I saw him. The last thing I ever said to him…” She shook her head, blinking rapidly as she looked up again, pulling herself back together. “I didn’t mean it.”

“I’m so sorry you have to talk about this. I promise, it will be over soon,” Carmichal told her soothingly. She straightened and crossed toward the witness stand, setting her hand on the podium. “When did you find out that Jake was dead?”

Brooke turned to look Carmichael dead in the eye. “When his body was basically dropped on top of me at the school’s _Lady of the Lake_ assembly.”

The courtroom erupted into soft gasps and titters at that, turning to one another in shock. Audrey looked ahead, watching Brooke with an aching chest.

Carmichael pushed off from the podium and lifted a small remote in her hand to point at a screen in the middle of the room. “I’d like to direct the court’s attention to exhibit 17A, which were taken after this assembly on March seventh.”

The monitor in the middle of the room flickered to life, along with various others around the room so that everyone could see clearly. Three pictures flashed across the screen, all of Brooke drenched in blood from head to toe, her lacy white dress ruined. Audrey didn’t have to look at them again; that image was pretty much seared into her brain for eternity already, and more importantly, she didn’t want to. Instead she caught Brooke’s eyes, wishing that it was appropriate to hold someone’s hand while they gave testimony on the witness’s stand.

Brooke broke her gaze to look down, breathing unsteadily.

Carmichael went to stand next to the podium again, her voice thick with concern. “Brooke, I’m so, so sorry. Do you need to take a break?”

“No, Mrs. Carmichael,” Brooke answered, shaking her head and sniffling a little. She reached up to dab at her eyes, careful of her makeup. “I just want to get this over with. Is that okay?”

“Of course it is, Brooke.”

Audrey furrowed her brows, concerned. Was Brooke actually okay? Was Carmichael throwing in some extra questions to try to provoke some kind of genuine emotional meltdown in court?

And then, she saw it. The slight gleam in Brooke’s eye that gave her away, the one she always got right before she figured out a difficult math problem, or flipped Audrey over in bed. It was the same look she got when she knew she was going to win.

Motherfucker. They _planned_ this.

God, every day she was more grateful that she had never ended up on Brooke’s bad side.

The rest of Brooke’s testimony went on about the same way. Carmichael would tentatively probe some awful subject (“Could you tell me what happened at your Halloween party, last year?”), Brooke would artfully toe the line between self-depreciating, deflecting humor and small-scale emotional outbursts, the jury would swoon and sigh and Audrey would roll her eyes a little at the ridiculousness of the whole thing from the gallery.

She understood why it was necessary, absolutely; but it didn’t make it any easier to watch complete strangers listening on the edge of their seats to the hollywoodized cliff’s notes version of the nightmare their lives had been since the day they found Nina floating in her own pool.

Finally, Carmichael came to the end of her questioning. “And, one last question, Brooke—is there anything you can think of that makes you believe Kieran Wilcox is capable of having committed these crime?

“Yes,” Brooke replied, straightening a little. “There is. But… I’m not sure it’s important.”

Carmichael reached to take off her glasses, peering at Brooke with a vulnerability that she had yet to display. _(Damn_ , she was good at this.) “Go on, Brooke. Let the jury decide whether it is important.”

“Alright, then,” Brooke agreed with a nod She took a deep breath, then began. “It was back while Emma was gone—I remember it was just after Christmas break, and the flu was going around. Noah was out sick with it— _super_ inconvenient for me, because my phone was acting up after the latest Apple update.”

“Acting up?” Carmichael asked, probing for clarification. “How?”

“It stopped receiving texts, deleted apps, started randomly calling people and restarting… it was a mess,” Brooke explained, rolling her eyes. It was like the sheer memory of the ordeal still annoyed her. “I was—obviously—distraught. I can handle a lot of things, but losing my cell phone? It was like losing my security blanket.”

“What did you do?”

“The only thing I could do—complain about it to everyone I saw, and blame Noah for being out sick the one day I needed him,” she replied with a small laugh. “Kieran and I had started hanging out more, by then. With Emma gone, he needed a lab partner and I needed someone I could tolerate to study with. I think I told him about it over lunch.”

Carmichael nodded her understanding, folding her arms, glasses still in her hand. “And how did Kieran react?”

“He told me to give him the phone; he said something about ‘actually paying attention when Noah talked, nowadays,’’’ Brooke continued with a small shake of her head. “And sure enough, about half an hour later, he returned it to me good as new. When I asked him how he did it, he gave me some nonsense about a ‘magician never revealing his secrets.’ I was shocked that Kieran Wilcox, of the leather jackets and gun lessons and South Georgian rural charm, knew how to hack an iPhone, but I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.”

“I’m sorry,” Carmichael replied, furrowing her brows. “I must be missing something. What’s the part you found suspicious?”

“When I got home, I googled the problem in case it came up again. I figured if Kieran could learn how to do it, then so could I, and I wouldn’t have to rely on Noah Foster to have a working cell phone. But when I looked it up, all the solutions required, like, days of coding and a degree in computer science to understand and use. And he had fixed it in _half an hour,”_ Brooke clarified, looking a little like she was still a little unsettled by this discovery. “For a long time, I thought it was a mistake, that I had looked up the wrong problem. But when he was arrested… Well. I remembered how good he was with a phone, and realized that he obviously had the technical skills to pull off all the crap we went through. That’s when I knew it was him.”

Carmichael smiled, just barely, and then nodded. “Thank you, Brooke.”

That seemed to satisfy her. She glanced down at her notes briefly, nodded to herself, and then looked over to Sterling. “Your witness.”

This was where things were going to get tense. Audrey had heard horror stories of what lawyers would do during cross examination. Usually, she’d be completely confident in Brooke’s ability to crush this guy like a bug, but in a courtroom and under oath were far from usual circumstances.

(Praying felt a little hollow, so she settled for crossing her fingers in her lap.)

Sterling took a large pile of papers with him as he walked over and settled himself next to the witness stand.

“Ms. Maddox,” he began, leaning against the podium. “In your testimony, you stated that Kieran’s birthday party started at seven p.m. Isn’t it true that it started at eight?”

“No, it started at seven,” Brooke explained, nodding to herself. “I’m sure of it. I had to come over early to help Emma set up. It was just Kieran showing up at eight.”

“I see,” Sterling continued. “And regarding the night of your Halloween party… you said during your deposition that you thought everyone found Grayson Pfeiffer dead at about nine or ten, but the coroner’s report indicates that he couldn’t have died before eleven p.m. In your estimation, could that be correct?”

Brooke shrugged, furrowing her brows. “It’s possible. I wasn’t really keeping track of the clock that night, so.”

He went on and on like that. Nothing he corrected really blew a hole in any of Brooke’s testimony; it was all innocent mistakes that did nothing to undermine the core of the case. After a while, the questions were bordering on pedantic, and it seemed to Audrey, at least, that he was doing it just so he could to keep Brooke on the stand as long as possible. (Jesus, she hated this prick.)

And so, when Sterling announced his “last question,” Audrey found herself breathing a premature sigh of relief.

“You said earlier that Seth Branson was your English teacher.”

Audrey tensed, Noah tensed, hell, she even thought she saw Brooke’s knuckles tighten on the edge of the witness stand for a second.

“Yes, that’s correct,” she replied coolly.

“And?”

_“And…?”_

“What else was he to you, Brooke?” Sterling probed, narrowing his eyes at her.

Audrey could see the gears working in Brooke’s head, and she hoped that she might have something up her sleeve. “A mentor? I’m not really sure–”

“Let me remind you, then,” Sterling interrupted. He pulled a sheet of paper from his binder and held it out, reading aloud: “Police Report, October twentieth. ‘Seth Branson successfully apprehended. At the time of arrest, he was found with a student, Brooke Maddox, seventeen. Ms. Maddox was in a state of near total undress; refused an offered rape kit.’”

Brooke shifted uncomfortably. “Alright. I don’t like talking about it. But, yes. We were… intimate. Briefly.”

“Intimate?” Sterling asked, feigning shock. “With your _teacher?”_

“He was my teacher, sure,” Brooke explained, some of her cool exterior starting to show a few cracks. Even still, Audrey and a few others might be the only ones to really pick up on that. “But he was also a _monster._ A liar, a manipulator… In most of America, he’d legally be a sexual predator. Apparently Georgia seems to think differently.”

“So you’re saying the sex _wasn’t_ consensual?” Sterling continued, asking for clarification.

“That’s a… difficult question, Mr. Sterling,” Brooke replied. She straightened a little in her chair, thrusting out her chin defiantly. “At the time, I thought I wanted it. But I was a minor and he was an adult; I couldn’t consent, not really, no matter what the state of Georgia says.”

“I see,” Sterling nodded. He pulled another sheet of paper from his binder and crossed to the witness stand, sliding it in front of her. “Do you recognize this?”

Brooke appraised the sheet of paper, stone-faced as she cleared her throat. “Yes.”

“Please tell the court what I’ve just given you.”

“It looks like records of texts that I’ve sent.”

“And, if you would, please,” Sterling smirked, just a little, and nodded toward her, “read the highlighted portion?”

Brooke faltered a little, visibly steeling herself before she could speak. “‘Next time why don’t we skip the online courses, I’m a much quicker study in person. And I can’t wait to feel your cock inside me again.’”

Sterling let that sink in, letting the entire room react and mutter to each other as he took his time before he spoke again. “Who was that text sent to?”

Brooke sighed, clearly displeased by this turn of events. “Seth Branson.”

In her corner of the room, where she could do nothing but watch, Audrey felt sick. She had to grip her chair just to stay in her seat, to not jump up and carry Brooke out of the room to take her away from this.

“Now, you tell me, Brooke,” Sterling replied, raising his eyebrows expectantly at her. “Does that sound like someone who didn’t want an intimate relationship?”

Carmichael stood, giving a deeply annoyed sigh. She looked a little green herself. “Objection, your honor.”

“Sustained. Jury will disregard that last question.”

Sterling smirked and cocked his head to the side. He reached up to straighten his tie. “No further questions.”

 

* * *

 

The end of Brooke’s turn on the stand came as a big relief. Honestly, she’d kind of killed it, aside from the whole ordeal about Branson. It made Audrey feel a little better about how the next few weeks might go, and plus it also gave her the excuse to swell with pride every time she looked Brooke’s way. She had really been incredible.

But it left Audrey with a few questions, too. There were a few things in Brooke’s testimony that she’d never heard before she couldn’t help but wonder about.

She chewed on her bottom lip, sprawled out on a blanket in the middle of Brooke’s living room. It had gotten far too cold to host their night-time hangouts in the park, so they’d started moving things to Brooke’s house since it was usually empty anyway.

“Hey,” she started, looking over to Brooke next to her. “Um. Can I ask you a question?”

Brooke raised an eyebrow, smirking a little. “Like I could stop you.”

Audrey rolled her eyes, tilting her head a little. “Did that phone thing you talked about really happen? With _Jailhouse Rock.”_

Brooke stiffened a little, perhaps not expecting this line of questioning. She sent an almost apologetic look to Emma before answering. “Yeah,” she nodded solemnly, staring at the wine bottle in her hands. “Kieran always kind of doted on me the most, behind Emma of course.” Her lip curled a little in disdain. “I dunno. I guess I was his _favorite_ or whatever.”

“Well,” Emma shrugged, pragmatic in her reasoning. “There was the whole deal with your dad last year… maybe he felt like you two had something in common?”

Nevermind that Kieran had been the one to murder Brooke’s dad in cold blood. But hey, he'd done that to his own dad too, so maybe Emma had a point. Still, Audrey was pretty sure it was something else.

“Actually,” she interjected, clearing her throat. She felt a little guilty for making this connection. “I bet it was because you reminded him of Piper.”

 _“Audrey!”_ Emma turned to gape at Audrey, shock etched into her face.

“I mean–” Audrey raised her hands defensively, apologetic but still pretty certain about her theory. “C’mon, a badass bitch, who’s willing to run over whatever’s in her way to get what she deserves? I mean _obviously_ there’s more differences than similarities, but–”

“Oh my god,” Brooke cut her off, shaking her head. She passed off the wine bottle to Emma, frowning. “Just. Stop talking. I will have sex with you every day for the rest of your life if you never compare me to Piper again.”

Now _that_ was an intriguing proposition. Audrey sent her a crooked grin, sitting up a little straighter, challenging. “You promise?”

Brooke rolled her eyes and crawled over to her, reaching to grab onto the front of her shirt. “Yes, you asshole. I promise.”

Audrey was expecting a light peck, as Brooke had mostly limited herself to in front of Emma since the _Great Seduction of 2016,_ and thus was completely caught off guard when Brooke kissed her like—well, like she usually kissed her when no one was watching.

And—jesus, her _tongue_ —any coherent knowledge of who was watching went out the window for several minutes until Brooke finally extracted her hand from under Audrey’s bra and her tongue from Audrey’s mouth, leaving her thoroughly disheveled.

Despite her current levels of _very distracted_ , she still managed to catch the wink Brooke gave to an extremely flustered Emma on the other side of the blanket, accompanied by a smug “You’re welcome.”

Emma took a solid five seconds to unfreeze and take a deep, centering breath, her cheeks still a bright pink. “You’re incorrigible, you know that?”

Brooke, milking it to the last, struck a pose as she returned to her own corner of the blanket. “You love it.”

“Yeah, until it _kills us,”_ Audrey muttered, still dazed. She shook herself a little, trying to gather her senses again.

“But what a way to go, right?” Brooke pointed out with a grin, waggling her eyebrows.

“God,” Emma laughed, shaking her head. “What would I do without you two?”

Brooke and Audrey turned to each other with matching smirks, then back to Emma, speaking at the same time when they answered.

“Lead a long, but very boring life.”

“Continue to date the male human equivalent of wonder bread, probably.”

Audrey and Emma both stared at Brooke, taken aback by her blunt response. Brooke was nothing if not shameless.

“What?” Brooke protested, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “It’s true. Emma, you have a problem. _Eli? Seriously?”_

“Oh, is that what your little _intervention_ a couple weeks ago was all about?” Emma quipped with a grin. She didn't exactly look all that offended.

Brooke grinned back and shrugged. “Hey, if it fits…”

“She’s kinda got a point, Em,” Audrey pointed out, amused. “On both counts.”

Emma gasped in offense, though clearly joking. “I can’t believe you two would gang up on me like this!”

“Oh, that’s not what ganging up on you looks like,” Audrey replied, grinning. She shared a look with Brooke, who had a mischievous glint in her eyes to match her own. They were clearly on the same page.

Realization dawned on Emma and she shook her head, starting to move away from the two of them. “Oh, no. No, _no–”_

 _“This_ is what ganging up on you looks like,” Audrey told her, just before she launched herself across the blanket to catch Emma before she could escape. Audrey grasped onto her waist and pushed her onto her back, immediately reaching to tickle her ribs relentlessly.

Brooke, for her part, moved around Emma to kneel above her head and pin her arms down by the wrists. She grinned widely as Emma squirmed and laughed, unsuccessfully trying to buck them off.

“Still mad about us ganging up on you?” Brooke asked once the two of them finally gave Emma a break. She grinned and let Emma’s head settle on her lap, gently stroking a hand through her shiny blonde hair.

“No,” Emma replied breathlessly, still a little out of it. “But I am _definitely_ gonna get you back for that.”

And with that she reached up to clutch onto Brooke’s waist above her, giving back everything she got, effectively starting a war that wasn't going to end any time soon.

So, maybe the rest of Audrey's life was pretty objectively terrible at the moment.

But this? This was perfect.

 

* * *

 

Her good mood quickly dissipated the next day as Noah took the stand.

Carmichael was a compassionate advocate, and Audrey genuinely believed that she was working in their best interest, but that didn’t mean she was any less upset while watching Noah bare his soul to the entire courtroom. It was purposeful, of course; Noah had a way of engaging sympathy in how he told their story that Audrey or even Brooke would probably never be able to match. He was passionate and open, and each detail he and Carmichael hit on had a purpose. By the time they got to Zoe’s death, Noah wasn’t the only one in the room whose eyes were red, both from shed and unshed tears. And this time Audrey knew that the tears weren’t calculated, at least not for Noah.

Regardless of how good Carmichael’s intentions were, it was upsetting to watch. Noah opened himself up like an exposed, raw nerve, and the effect on the entire room was palpable.

“Thank you, Noah,” Carmichael finally said, having asked her last questions. She turned on her heel to retreat back to her seat. She nodded toward Counselor Sterling on the way. “Your witness.”

Sterling came out from behind the bench, his jacket unbuttoned, slipping his hands into his pockets as he approached the stand. Even after a week of staring at his stupid face, Audrey’s overwhelming urge to hit something when she looked at him hadn’t diminished in the least.

“So, Noah,” he began, tilting his head toward Noah. “Did I hear Counselor Carmichael right? You took over Piper’s _Autopsy of a Crime_ podcast?”

“Well, more or less,” Noah replied, shifting in his seat. “It’s not the exact same entity, but the idea is the same. Many of my listeners were originally fans of hers.”

“Why did you do it?” Sterling asked, looking a little baffled. “You’d think anyone else would want to get as far away from these terrible experiences as possible, not relive all of it publicly on the internet.”

“That’s… a valid question.” Noah replied, his voice breaking a little, betraying his nerves. “Honestly, it helped me to work through the trauma, to share it with other people. And, you know, someone needed to tell the story right, to explain to the audience who Piper really was. And, not to brag, but that kind of storytelling is sort of my thing.”

Sterling smirked a little at that, nodding in understanding. “Ah, right. I think I heard about that, how you were into true crime and horror movies, even before you started living in one?”

Noah narrowed his eyes at Sterling, cautious. “I–yes, I would say that’s accurate.”

“So,” Sterling started again, pacing across the small room, withdrawing one hand from his pocket to gesture as he spoke. “Knowledgeable about horror, fan of true crime, and an expert on this particular case… Is it fair to say, then, that you would know exactly how to pin these murders on someone else?”

“Objection, your honor!” Carmichael stood up and glared at Sterling, offended. _“Argumentative.”_

Burke shifted, displeased. She gave Sterling a warning glare over the edge of her wire-framed glasses. “Sustained.”

“Right, of course, I’m sorry,” Sterling raised both of his hands in defense, shaking his head. He almost sounded genuinely apologetic. “Here, let me rephrase. Is it possible, then, that you would hypothetically know how to frame someone else for a crime?”

“Uh. I mean… Um,” Noah furrowed his brows and squirmed in his seat. “I guess it would depend on the crime?”

Carmichael's face was the unique blend of furious, pained, and resigned that Audrey often felt herself when talking to Noah, usually just before her forehead hit the nearest available flat surface. Too bad neither of them could do that in court, to avoid having to watch this.

“Come on, Noah, you’re a smart kid,” Sterling drawled, attempting to level with Noah, almost like he wanted to be his friend. “I’ve seen your grades. In the running for school valedictorian, right? You could probably figure it out.”

“Your honor, I really don’t feel comfortable answering this question–”

Judge Burke sighed, her lips pressed into a thin line. “Mr. Foster. Please entertain Counselor Sterling, so we can all get this over with.”

Noah swallowed a lump in his throat, looking a little pale. He glanced between Carmichael and then back to Sterling. “Then. Um. If wanted to? I guess–”

Sterling raised a hand to stop Noah, shaking his head. “No, you know what? You’re uncomfortable. You’ve been through enough this year. We can talk about something else.”

Audrey’s sigh of relief was so short lived it was almost painful.

“Let’s discuss your theory about Piper Shaw’s alleged accomplice.”

Noah’s adam’s apple visibly bobbed in his throat as he swallowed hard.

Sterling peered down at his notes as he continued, flipping through a few pages. “You first publicly mentioned your theory that Piper had an accomplice, let’s see, in the third and final podcast wrapping up the Lakewood murders. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“And, as you know, the fact that we’re here today discussing murders that occurred after Piper Shaw’s death would lend some credence to that theory being correct,” Sterling added, a trace of a smirk on his lips. “Like I said, you’re a genuinely bright kid—not incredibly surprising you figured this one out.”

“So,” he continued, crossing the room to lean against the podium in front of Noah conversationally. “Was Kieran your first choice of suspect for Piper’s accomplice?”

Noah dropped his gaze and stared at his hands in his lap. He mumbled an answer but it was too quiet to hear. A knot in Audrey’s stomach tightened uncomfortably.

_Noah, please..._

Sterling leaned in closer, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that?”

“Uh,” Noah cleared his throat, his eyes still trained downward. “No, he wasn’t.”

Sterling dropped his jaw, blinking at Noah in feigned surprise. It was so obviously a show and it made Audrey sick to her stomach. “Really? Then who was?”

This was not good. Realistically, Audrey had known that this was likely to happen, but that did little to calm the icy dread settling in her stomach.

Noah closed his eyes and there was a long pause before he answered. “Audrey.”

“Audrey _Jensen?_ Your best friend?” Sterling repeated, shaking his head in pretend shock, as if he didn’t know. “Wow. You really thought _Audrey_ was capable of committing these murders?”

“I– _You–!_ I didn’t really know what to think, okay?” Noah snapped, finally looking up at Sterling to glare at him. “It was–”

He cut himself off, shutting his jaw tightly.

“Noah, come on. That’s _awful.”_ Sterling prodded, tilting his head at Noah. “What would make you think that Audrey was Piper’s accomplice?”

“Look, it was really just a big misunderstanding, alright?” Noah replied, rushed. He was starting to panic, which meant that this situation was about to go from bad to worse. “I– I was paranoid, all my friends were dying, _again_ , and Audrey was acting, just. Really weird, like she was trying to cover something up, and I freaked!”

 _“Did_ she have something to cover up?”

Noah’s only reply to that was a small, strangled squeak. Audrey covered her face with her hands, leaning to hit her forehead against the row of seats in front of her. She felt Brooke shift next to her, and then a hand on her knee. It was a small comfort.

“Let me help you out a little here, Noah,” Sterling continued, dropping the thinly veiled act of surprise at this turn of events. “As the murders piled up, Audrey acted more and more suspicious, and little details started to come back, like how Audrey _hated_ Nina Patterson, and how Audrey seemed to know Piper much better than a complete stranger should–”

Carmichael didn’t even get all the way out of her chair to object before Noah cut him off first.

“Yes, okay, sure, all of those thoughts crossed my mind. But you know what else crossed my mind? This was _Audrey_ . How could she possibly do this, to _me_ , to _Emma–”_

“Ah, yes. Emma Duval,” Sterling laughed, not letting him finish. “Audrey’s best friend. When _you_ weren’t busy being her best friend, of course. But, it turns out that Audrey and Emma _weren’t_ so great of friends, right? It turns out that Audrey _hated_ Emma, and that she _had_ talked to Piper about that in the past.”

Sterling abruptly turned away from the stand to go back to his desk, shuffling through some of his papers. “I’d like to submit Exhibit 58A through L into evidence, which are copies of the letters that Audrey Jensen sent Piper Shaw before she arrived in Lakewood.”

Motherfucker. Of _course_ there were more copies of the letters.

(At the time, she had written out the letters because she assumed back then that they wouldn't be as easily traceable as emails. Of course, at the time, she had also assumed that Piper wasn’t going to turn out to be a murderous psychopath, so, you know, wrong on both counts there.)

Audrey lifted her head, bouncing her knee anxiously, the one that Brooke wasn’t clutching onto in an effort to soothe her.

“It seems to me that you had _every_ valid reason to suspect Audrey of being the murderer,” Sterling announced as he held up the pile of letters. “And yet, you were the one who pointed Sheriff Acosta and the police to Kieran as the only clear suspect. What changed?”

Noah shifted uncomfortably. “Audrey and I, you know, we, uh. We talked it out.”

Sterling blinked in disbelief, looking like he was barely holding back laughter. “You _talked_ it out.”

“Yes, we did,” Noah shot back, defensive.

“And was any of this _talking_ , say, horizontal?” Sterling suggested, slipping a hand into his pocket. “Favors exchanged, perhaps, for testimony in a case where–”

 _“Objection,”_ Carmichael interrupted, clearly agitated. “Badgering the witness, argumentative.. also, your honor, this is _ridiculous.”_

 _“Sustained,”_ Judge Burke agreed, looking almost a little annoyed herself.

Carmichael had barely sat down before–

“Noah, do you _like_ Audrey Jensen?”

This was fake. This was a fake courtroom. She was going to wake up any minute now and this was all going to be just a terrible dream.

Carmichael stood again, raising her hand to gesture to Sterling. “Your _honor–”_

“Your honor,” Sterling cut her off, straightening and smoothing his tie, suddenly businesslike. “I am just trying to to establish a motive for the witness possibly protecting or covering for another reasonable suspect.”

 _“Reluctantly_ , I have to side with Mr. Sterling on this one,” the judge replied, staring down at the two lawyers in the middle of the courtroom sternly. “But, counselor, you are treading on thin ice here. I will _not_ have my courtroom turned into… some sort of teenage soap opera.”

 _Too late,_ Audrey silently whined to herself.

“Of course, thank you, Judge Burke,” Sterling nodded graciously.

Burke turned back to Noah, gently prodding him. “Answer the question, Mr. Foster.”

Noah opened his mouth in disbelief, looking from Judge Burke to Carmichael, and then finally to Audrey for a fleeting moment before he turned on Sterling. He stared for a moment, shaking his head, possibly wrestling with the right way to answer. “Well, we... we’re best friends, that’s all,” he began, his voice cracking just a little. “I would _never–_ And. And, you know, just... _Zoey_ , and, and, _Emma,_ and–”

Audrey could feel Brooke physically shaking from the effort of keeping silent; whether she was trying not to laugh or cry, nobody could say. (Honestly, Audrey wasn’t sure which was more appropriate.)

“Ah,” Sterling replied with a nod, almost patronizing. “Of course, _Emma.”_

“Yeah, _yeah,_ ” Noah argued, still highly defensive. “You know, that’s a thing.”

 _“Was_ a thing?” Sterling asked, raising his eyebrows. “Or _is_ a thing?”

“I–” Noah started, looking like he was really regretting everything he’d said up to this point. His voice was shrill and strangled as he spoke, as he desperately tried to recover this any way he could. “I really don’t think I’m at liberty to say, sir. You’d have to ask–”

“Fair enough, you know, and I think I might,” Sterling agreed smugly. “But you and Ms. Jensen never had any feelings for each other at all, correct? Except for that one time you kissed at Kieran’s birthday party.”

A high-pitched laugh, almost a giggle, burst from Noah. _“That?_ That, that was—if you’ll excuse my crudeness, your honor, but we were _drugged_ , and absolutely out of our minds—I’m pretty sure Audrey had no idea who she was even kissing–”

“But you did?”

Noah’s abrupt silence said volumes more than any answer he possibly could have given.

Great. _Great._ That time she made out with Noah while _tripping balls_ was now a matter of public record. This was her life now.

 _Fuck_ ayahuasca.

Maybe if she closed her eyes and tried really, really hard, she could actually convince herself she was absolutely anywhere else but here.

The silence in the courtroom stretched on well past the point of being uncomfortable, as this asshole lawyer drew out the quiet to contrast with the loud, constant activity of the moments before. It was stupidly effective, and Audrey hated him for it.

“So,” Sterling started again, finally. His voice was deadly quiet, yet somehow painfully loud in the silent courtroom. “Correct me if I get any of this wrong. You had feelings for Audrey in the past. You had suspected her of committing these murders. You had a chat with her, and afterwards, you told the police and anyone else who would listen that Kieran was the killer, even after the entire town was convinced it was her.”

Noah sighed deeply, resigning himself to this fate. “There was a break, between those last two, but, yes.”

Sterling fixed his unwavering gaze on Noah, cornering him. “Then explain to me, and this court, why anyone should believe you when you say that you have no doubt that Kieran committed these terrible crimes.”

“Because…” Noah blinked and trailed off, his mouth hanging open.

Sterling raised his eyebrows, letting Noah's silence hang pointedly before he spoke up. “That’s what I thought. No fu–”

“Wait!” Noah exclaimed, on the edge of his seat. “Wait, your honor, I want to finish answering his question. May I?”

Judge Burke turned to Sterling with raised eyebrows, an almost amused curiosity in her eyes.“Of course, Mr. Foster.”

“You’re right, okay?” Noah started, having regained his determination, his brows furrowed. “None of what you just said is factually wrong, but you’re missing the most important parts. Like, the part where I am Audrey’s _best friend_ , which means I know _exactly_ how much she cares about those she loves, like her mom, and me, and Brooke. And, _yes,_ Emma. And I also know how she’ll go to any lengths, do _anything_ to–”

He stopped himself, taking a deep breath and pausing before he continued. “Look. Over this past year, I’ve watched Audrey throw herself time and time again into life and death situations to get the rest of us out of the _idiotic_ predicaments we got ourselves into, without any regard to the myriad of ways she could get herself killed trying to rescue us. It’s…” He stopped to lock eyes with Audrey across the courtroom. “It’s one of the things I love most about her, how far she would go to protect the people she loves.”

“So,” he turned to look at Sterling, his jaw firmly set. “Would a killer do that, Mr. Sterling? Would a _murderer_ do these _terrible_ things to other people, and then risk her own life when her stupid friends inevitably did stupid things trying to stop that? No. No, I reject that Audrey would do this, that I could be so wrong about her as a person. I reject that she would even be capable of doing something that she _knows_ would hurt us so deeply, and leave us _so miserable_ , with scars that won’t go away for the rest of our lives. It’s impossible. It doesn’t make any sense with her background, her personality, her _very nature.”_

Noah let those words settle on the courtroom, finally looking like he might have regained the upperhand. He gave Sterling a small smirk, happy to give him a little of his own medicine.

“Kieran, on the other hand…” he started speaking again, cocking his head to one side. “Kieran, who had terrible parents, and a basically non-existent family life. Who was a complete outsider to our group of friends before last year. Kieran, who already had a criminal history of stalking and harassing women well past the point of sanity before he even came to Lakewood. Kieran, who is more than capable of, and with his background, even susceptible to, being convinced, controlled, and manipulated by a beautiful, dominant, charismatic sociopath like Piper Shaw. All of these things, which, as you yourself have pointed out, I would know are _hallmarks_ of a serial killer in the making.”

Noah let those words sink in, straightening in his seat. Audrey had no idea if any of that speech would actually fly with the jury, but hell if it wasn’t impressive.

“In conclusion, sir,” he continued, “I would like _you_ to tell me which one of those two people is more likely to have committed the heinous murders of _my_ friends we’ve been talking about this entire trial.”

The entire courtroom fell dead silent, tension thick.

Sterling glared darkly back at Noah, turning back to his seat. “No further questions.”

It was true that probably could have gone better, but she had to hand it to Noah. He certainly had a flair for the dramatic, if nothing else, and that had to leave an impression. Audrey was proud of him, there was no doubt. Honestly, she felt like she could kiss him once he got off the stand, she was so proud. She almost definitely wasn’t going to, but the last year had taught her to never say never. Maybe she’d just settle for buying him coffee as congratulations, and to show how much she appreciated her best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that we post deleted scenes in the other work in this series, can't start a fire without a spark! This fic is intended as a standalone, but if you're at all interested in the inner workings of Brooke Maddox and Emma Duval's minds or just want to read more of this fic before the next chapter is posted, check it out. :)


	9. in the morning i'll be better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to celebrate the Official Death of mtv's scream we have decided to post the next episode in this, the canonical season 3 of scream the television series

After Noah’s turn on the stand came a practical army of other witnesses. Psychologists, cops, students, townspeople—you name it, they testified. Everyone from Maggie and Sheriff Acosta to Emma’s boss at The Grindhouse trudged up to the witness stand to add their piece to the growing mountain of evidence against Kieran.

It took almost two weeks to get through all of them—it was a good thing they had waited until winter break to hold the trial, or the pile of schoolwork they all would have had to make up would have been overwhelming. As it was, it was merely the shittiest break of Audrey’s life, as each passing witness left her in an increasing state of nervous dread. Carmichael had decided to call her to testify last; at the time, she’d justified it by wanting to “keep Audrey’s testimony fresh in the jury’s mind.” Audrey had been grateful back then for the momentary reprieve, but now she wanted more than anything to just get it over with so she didn’t have to spend another day sitting in the courthouse thinking about all the ways her testimony could go horribly wrong.

The first day of her testimony ended up falling on a Wednesday, and it took all of her willpower to get out of bed that day. Despite the constant reassurance from Brooke, Emma, Noah, _and_ Carmichael that it was going to go fine, Audrey couldn’t stop the nagging voice in the back of her head hellbent on convincing her she was bound to fuck some part of it up. She could only hope she didn’t screw up anything too important.

The morning passed in a blur. It felt like there were only seconds between Noah (“Good luck out there, champ,” followed by a solid clap on the back) and Brooke (“You’ll do great, Audrey, I’m sure of it,” followed by a quick kiss on the cheek) wishing her luck before she was standing at the front of the courtroom, raising her right hand over the Bible the bailiff was holding and reading out the now-familiar court oath.

“I swear the evidence I shall give, shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.”

 _So help her God_ , she couldn’t help pleading as she sat down and bailiff returned to his post. Her dad would be so proud.

Carmichael stood up and came out from behind her desk, giving her a small, encouraging nod before she started speaking. “So, Audrey. We’ve heard a lot from the other witnesses about what you did and said during the two Lakewood murder sprees, but now I want to hear your side of the story. After the first set of murders, and your confrontation with Piper down by the dock, you thought the killings were over. Is that correct?”

Audrey cleared her throat, leaned forward to speak into the mic just as she had practiced, and– “Yes, that’s correct.” It was eerie, hearing her voice reverberate through the courtroom, but at least she could tell her voice was steady, by some miracle.

“When did you first suspect there might be another killer?” Carmichael asked.

“When I found the letters.”

“The letters… The letters you sent to Piper Shaw?” she clarified.

Audrey cleared her throat. She found a loose thread at the edge of her new black blazer—one Brooke had helped her choose. “Yes.”

“Where did you find these letters?”

“Uh,” Audrey replied, nervously tugging at the loose thread behind the podium. “They were posted in the bathroom of the movie theater where I was working, the Zenith. Somebody had put them there.”

Carmichael nodded her understanding. “And what was your reaction to finding these letters?”

“I tore them down, immediately,” Audrey admitted. She knew they were going to follow this line of questioning, but she could still feel needling apprehension in her gut. “I was terrified of someone else seeing them.”

“Why was that?” Carmichael prodded. She crossed the room to stand by the podium, leaning against it. Audrey kind of appreciated having her closer, it made it easier to pretend she was only speaking to Carmichael, that no one else was in the room with them.

“They… They were proof of something I didn’t want anyone to know. Something I didn’t even want to admit to myself.” Her stomach tightened as she heard those words bounce around the courtroom. But it was okay, she was okay. This was the right thing to do, that’s what Carmichael kept telling her.

Now or never. God, saying this never got any easier.

“They were proof that Piper had come to Lakewood because of me. I invited her.”

Silence. Maybe it _did_ get easier. There was no reaction in the courtroom; no gasps of outrage or scandalized whispers. The ground didn’t open up to swallow her shame, and no one stood up to proclaim these murders were all her fault.

Huh. Maybe she _could_ do this.

“Why would you do that, Audrey?” Carmichael urged, her brows knitted in concern. It wasn’t the first time Audrey felt extreme gratitude that this woman was in their corner, and not just because of the empathy she exuded with each question.

Audrey released a deep sigh, steeling herself. Now was a hell of a time to get this all out, but it was necessary. “About two years ago, I started listening to _Autopsy of a Crime_. I was a huge fan, and I wrote to Piper to see what she thought about my idea to make a documentary on Brandon James…”

The next few days flew by. Testifying ended up being weirdly cathartic, at least for her. It was kind of a relief to have her secrets all out in the open. While she would have preferred it not be part of public record, talking through everything she’d experienced the last year—even if it was in front of a judge and jury and two-hundred odd strangers—was more than her therapist ever coaxed out of her, so. That was _kind of_ something close to progress, wasn’t it? By Friday, she woke up almost excited—they were on track to finish her testimony that day, and as long as the cross examination didn’t take the entire afternoon, she would finally be able to relax and just enjoy the weekend with Brooke and Emma.

Sure enough, Carmichael hit her with the question she had previously promised would be the last right after their lunch break. One more afternoon session, and she would be home free.

Carmichael cleared her throat and approached the stand, setting her hand on the podium in front of Audrey. She gave a small, comforting smile as she spoke. “Is there anything else you’d like to say to the court, Audrey, before I turn you over to Counselor Sterling over there?”

“Yes,” Audrey answered, sitting up a little straighter in her seat. She looked out on the people of the court, into the faces of her peers and strangers alike, until she finally found Maggie, Noah, and Brooke. “I’d like to… apologize to everyone for my actions. I know I haven’t made the best choices, and I’ve definitely made more than a few mistakes these past few months. But please, don’t let a murderer walk free to punish me for my mistakes. Thank you.”

Carmichael gave her a small wink as she crossed back over to her desk.

“Defense’s witness.”

Sterling continued to flip through his notes for a solid ten seconds after this announcement, before finally standing up. He buttoned his suit jacket and smiled up at Audrey, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

“Touching.”

Audrey didn’t respond, but much of the assurance Carmichael had left her with was suddenly vanished. She wasn’t sure if Counselor Sterling actually deserved the amount of vitriolic disdain she held for him, but she also didn’t really care.

“So,” he continued, stepping out to the middle of the floor. “You opened up this… Pandora’s box of terrible things, and all the crimes _you_ committed were just a part of you trying to put Piper and her consequences back in the box. Sound about right?”

“Uh,” Audrey replied eloquently, her brows furrowed. She was pretty sure she already didn’t like where this was going. “Yes?”

Sterling pressed her further. “What made you open the box?”

“Um,” Audrey said, shaking her head, instinctively putting her guard up. The thread she’d discovered on her jacket a few days prior had started to loosen as she tugged more at it. (Brooke would scold her for that later.)  “Like I said earlier, I wanted to make a documentary–”

“No, not that, Audrey,” he interrupted, holding his hand up to stop her. Any feigned empathy he may have had in his eyes was gone. “The _real_ reason.”

“Um–”

Before she could answer, Sterling approached the stand and dropped a sheet of paper onto the podium in front of her. “Is this one of your letters to Piper Shaw?”

Audrey recognized it as a photocopy of one of her letters almost immediately. “… Yes.”

“Great. Read the highlighted portion, please.”

Audrey took a deep breath and held the sheet of paper in front of her, almost disdainfully. She barely had to glance at it to tell this wasn’t going to be pretty. “‘Emma got pretty, and suddenly I wasn’t good enough for her. All those years meant nothing to that heartless, soulless harlot. She is such a princess bitch. She obviously doesn’t see things like we do. She’s one of them. That’s why we need to bring her down. Put her back in her place. She deserves it most.’”

“A _ha,”_ Sterling smirked, turning a little toward the jury as he shook his finger at her. He was showboating. “So. Not just the documentary then, was it?”

“No,” Audrey sighed. She kind of wished she could hide under the podium, but instead she just tugged at the same thread, pulling more and more of it out of its sewn hem. Of all the letters to pull, that was probably the worst. To say she wasn’t proud of herself would be a horrible understatement.

“You _hated_ Emma Duval,” Sterling said, slipping his hands into his pockets as he started to connect the dots. “She rejected you—and your love—for her prettier, more popular friends, and you _hated_ her for it. You and Piper had that in common. Tell me, what was the nature of your relationship with Piper Shaw?”

 _Abort._ Audrey could tell exactly where this was going and she didn’t like it at all. She had known this was a possibility, but how was she supposed to recover? This was getting worse by the second. “We… We were close.”

“Close?”

“You just said it,” Audrey replied through gritted teeth. She was going to do her best to deflect this if by some stroke of luck she actually could. “We had Emma in common.”

Sterling raised his eyebrows. “Was that all?”

Audrey clenched her jaw shut and gripped the edge of her chair as tightly as she could. The thread she’d been tugging at finally met the edge of her jacket, pulling taught now that it had intersected with another stitch.

“Let me remind you, Ms. Jensen,” Sterling pushed, narrowing his eyes at her, “that you are under oath.

“After Rachel died,” she finally answered. Her voice was a little hoarse, rough from the way she had to force it out of her. “Our relationship became… physical.”

“So, you had sex with her,” Sterling clarified helpfully.

“I… yes, okay?” Audrey admitted, defeated. She tugged at the thread again, only meeting resistance. “I was vulnerable, and she _took advantage_ of me.”

“Of course. It was all her coming on to you,” Sterling agreed flatly, not in the least bit sincere. “Though, we know you’ve had romantic entanglements with Mr. Foster and poor Ms. Murray in the past. And now Emma, and Piper… And, judging by your behavior in the courtroom, Ms. Maddox as well.”

“Objection!” Carmichael stepped in, exasperated. She clearly wasn’t pleased with turn of events either.

“Sustained,” Judge Burke agreed tersely. She directed a shallow glare toward Counselor Sterling.  “Jury will disregard that last statement.”

Sterling held up a hand in a vague apology to the judge, nodding to her before turning to Audrey again. “Quite the busy love life, there. Help me make sense of it, Audrey.”

Her response came like as a knee-jerk reaction; she didn’t realize she had said it out loud until she saw the look on Sterling’s face.

“I mean… Haven’t you ever liked more than one girl at the same time before, Mr. Sterling?”

She could hear barely muffled snickers from the gallery, and she caught sight of Carmichael ducking her head to hide a smile. _Take that, douchebag defense lawyer._

Counselor Sterling gave her a tight-lipped smile, regarding her carefully as he let the barb pass. “But the story doesn’t end there, right? You killed Piper, for Emma, and she _still_ wouldn’t look your way.”

“That wasn’t why I did it,” Audrey argued, shaking her head a little in disbelief. _Obviously_ that wasn’t why she did it, it had only ever been about ensuring Emma’s safety.

“No?” Sterling asked, a little taken aback. “You weren’t choosing Emma over Piper that night, saving her at the very last second so you could be her hero?”

Audrey blinked, opening and closing her mouth a few times before she could figure out how to respond. “I mean, well, _yes._ But–”

“But she was still with Kieran, even after all you did for her,” Sterling narrowed his eyes, and took a step closer to her. “Hell, she looked at _Eli Hudson_ before she looked at you. And Brooke was with Jake, and Noah with Zoe… Which left you with _no one._ So, what was a little more murder to finish solving your problems?”

Carmichael nearly launched herself out of her chair, gripping onto the table in front of her. _“Objection!_ Counsel is making speeches, Your Honor.”

“Sustained,” Burke agreed, her brows furrowed over the rim of her wire glasses. “Get to the question, Counselor.”

“Fine,” Sterling relented, holding his hands up. “Audrey, did you kill Zoe Vaughn and Jake Fitzgerald to take back your so called ‘friends’ for your own?”

 _“What?”_ Audrey exclaimed, balking at that completely ludicrous accusation. “No!”

“And did you pin it all on Kieran to get Emma to trust you, to finally get the girl you’d pined for your entire life?”

 _“Of course_ not!”

“Really?” Sterling replied snidely. “Isn’t it _awfully_ convenient, then, that this is precisely what happened?”

Sterling pulled the little remote out of his pocket and aimed it at the TV screen in the middle of the room. It, as well as the others in the room, flickered back to life and lit up to display a picture.

That… that was Audrey, leaning over the counter at The Grindhouse, laughing at something Emma said while she worked. And– _Jesus,_ did she always look at Emma like that?

“Is that you with Emma Duval?” Sterling asked, his hard gaze not once leaving Audrey on the stand.

Audrey glowered back at him. “Yes.”

Another picture. This time, they were holding hands outside of the movie theater, standing _definitely_ way too close for for anyone to mistake it as platonic.

“And… there? Is that the two of you as well?”

 _“Yes,”_ Audrey answered again, her jaw clamped shut.

“And how about this one?”

 _Fuck._ It wasn’t a great angle, but she and Emma were clearly kissing in the school parking lot, against her car. Actually—she _remembered_ that day—it was from almost a month ago, during the two weeks of torture Brooke had inflicted on both of them. She remembered it specifically because Brooke had left immediately after school to make a meeting with Carmichael, leaving her and Emma alone to safely hang out after school without Brooke’s ridiculous game of sexual tug-of-war interfering.

Had there really been someone following her for over a _month_ now, to take these pictures of her to show at trial? And somehow, she hadn’t noticed.

Fuck. _Fuck._ She was going to be sick, right on the witness stand, in front of all these people.

“So, Audrey,” Sterling began again, his voice a deadly calm. “For the sake of posterity—what is the current nature of your relationship with Emma Duval?”

She could barely get the words out.

“We’re… involved. Romantically.”

“ _Finally_ ,” he exclaimed, a triumphant grin on his face. “Get rid of every other available bachelor in town, and the girl finally looks your way! Did that work on Brooke Maddox, too?”

 _“No,_ I–”

“But you just couldn’t stop yourself, could you?” Sterling didn’t let her reply, instead shoving right on ahead. “You couldn’t just kill their boyfriends—Emma considered Eli, so he had to go. The hotel clerk would have given away your game, so that one’s obvious. And, you know, who _knows_ what Emma’s protective detail thought of her at night, can’t have that–”

“Objection!” Carmichael interrupted again, finally getting a word in edgewise. “Speeches! _Again.”_

“Sustained.”

But Sterling was on a roll now, he wasn’t about to let up just when he'd gained the advantage.

“The cop who arrested you—well, what better way to ensure some Thelma and Louise style bonding than to guarantee she’d have to go on the run with you. And Quinn Maddox—just had to make sure Brooke would be willing to jump in your bed at the first opportunity, didn’t you? Who was next, Audrey? Gustavo Acosta? _Maggie Duval?”_

 _“Objection!”_ Carmichael shouted, raising her voice to an almost shrill outcry. Through this entire trial, Audrey had never once seen Carmichael lose her cool like that.

“Sustained! Counselor, if you do not control yourself–”

“Audrey, just tell me this,” Sterling interrupted, approaching the stand so that he was right in front of Audrey, forcing her to look at him. “Is the reason Emma’s not here today because she draws the line at perjury? At _lying_ for you on the stand, at telling the world it wasn’t you, but _Kieran_ who killed Eli at the Blessed Sisters Home that night?”

 _“No!”_ Audrey sputtered. “Of course not, that’s not–”

“That’s not what, Audrey?”

Carmichael had told her a thousand times, had _drilled_ into her that while she was testifying, she should look nowhere except at the lawyer currently questioning her, the judge, or the jury. And she hadn’t looked anywhere else this entire time, but once Sterling said his name, she _had_ to glance over and–

The blank face Kieran had been wearing this entire trial had finally cracked. Instead, he had a tiny smile, the same infuriating maniacal grin he had worn that day in that stupid fucking orphanage. It brought her right back to that moment, to the the flood of anger and adrenaline and fury as she fought for hers and Emma’s lives against this _monstrosity_ of a human being.

And with that, it was all over.

“That’s _not_ how this was supposed to go!” she shouted, bearing her teeth. The thread she’d been holding in her hand finally snapped.

Sterling gave a small laugh at that.”How _what_ was supposed to go?”

“This!” she growled, barely staying in her seat. “This entire… Fucking ridiculous _farce_ of a trial! Kieran _clearly_ murdered all those people, and I shouldn’t have to sit here and listen to you spread this bullshit about my life!”

Even from this distance, she could sense the courtroom was starting to become agitated. But honestly, she couldn’t hear anything beyond the blood rushing in her ears. This was just so fucking _unfair_ —that Kieran was the one on trial, but she and her friends were the ones being re-eviscerated every day on the stand.

The expression on Sterling’s face made her think of someone who just found out Christmas was coming early. But she barely caught that amidst the backdrop of Kieran’s grin growing wider, at the knowledge he could still get to her, even handcuffed and silenced at his own fucking murder trial. What she wouldn’t give to wipe that smug grin off of his stupid–

Audrey stood, knocking her chair back as she gripped the podium in front of her. It was all she could do not to launch herself across the room and rip Kieran apart with her own bare hands. “This wouldn’t even be happening if I hadn’t listened to Emma. God, we should have just _killed you while we had the chance!”_

Her words hung in the air for a split second, but to Audrey it felt much longer. It was like she was watching a bullet erupt from the barrel of a gun at a cinematic, ridiculously slow speed. No matter how much she wanted to reach out and catch it, to eat her own words, she couldn’t. It was done. The courtroom _erupted._ Frantic yelling and the click of cameras filled the room until the sudden, painfully loud banging of the judge’s gavel cut through it all.

 _“Order!”_ Judge Burke cried, still pounding her gavel until people started to settle. “I will have order in my court!”

The gavel also broke through Audrey’s haze, and she suddenly remembered where she was, blinking in shock at this disaster of her own making.

_Oh, god. What had she done?_

In the sudden quieting of the courtroom's din came the screeching of Carmichael’s chair, and her voice rose over the noise clear as a bell.

“Your honor, can we _please_ take a recess?” Carmichael begged, looking deeply troubled.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Counselor. In fact…” Burke glanced at her watch, and then to Audrey with some measure of hesitation. “We have an hour left, it’s Friday afternoon, and my husband and I have tickets to the theater. If it pleases the counsel, why don’t we just reconvene court on Monday morning?”

Carmichael glanced upwards in silent thanks, like the heavens had opened up to take pity upon her. Sterling, on the other hand, looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel—but, by his silence, he appeared to be more afraid of angering the judge than he was of losing the opportunity to press his advantage.

“Excellent, that’s settled then,” Judge Burke announced with a deep sigh. “Court is adjourned, have a good weekend everyone.”

She gave one last pound of her gavel and the courtroom burst to life again as people started standing up to exit and discuss what had just happened. Audrey almost sprinted off of the witness stand to Carmichael, who was attempting to ignore Sterling while also packing up her papers.

“… That was _clear_ favoritism,” he complained, folding his arms over his chest and looking much like a petulant child. “I could report her for that!”

“Oh, shut it Sterling,” Carmichael muttered darkly, finally turning to him. “You know there isn’t another judge on the bench who would let you pull half the stunts you have. Stop complaining.”

“You know what, you’re right,” he replied, a bit of that smirk back on his lips. “It’s unseemly to gloat. Have a great weekend, Andy!”

He sent her a grin so greasy Audrey felt like she might need a shower, and then he turned to gather his things and leave. Carmichael snapped her briefcase shut and turned away from Sterling just as Audrey was finished scrambling down to catch her.

“Mrs. Carmichael,” she pled, shaking her head desperately. “I am so, _so_ sorry. I can’t believe I–”

Carmichael held up a hand to silence her, glancing around at the various people milling about the courtroom on their way to the exit. “Outside.”

Audrey followed on her heels through the side door from which lawyers and witnesses often entered, happy for the privacy. She could see the crowd pouring out of the courtroom down the hall, but here they were relatively isolated.

Once the door was shut, Carmichael stopped and turned to Audrey, looking down her nose through black-rimmed glasses.

Audrey swallowed a lump in her throat. “I’m really sorry.”

“Audrey, what were you _thinking?”_ Carmichael reprimanded. She wasn't yelling, but Audrey thought she might have preferred that she did. The subtle edge in Carmichael’s tone cut deep. “I _told_ you he would bait you, and you still fell for it! I don’t know how–”

She stopped herself, closing her eyes and taking a deep, calming breath before she began again. “Okay. I’m sorry, that was unprofessional. This is my fault; I should have prepared you better after I knew who was taking this case.”

“No, I know this is absolutely on me,” Audrey argued, hanging her head. She felt sick, and she kind of wanted to find the nearest hole to crawl into. Carmichael was good, she'd seen that much, but even she couldn’t come back from how completely Audrey had fucked everything over. “You told me exactly what to do, and I blew it anyway.”

The door behind them opened and both Brooke and Noah slipped into the room, worry etched on their faces as they hurried to Audrey’s side.

Carmichael barely glanced their way as she replied. “We both share the blame for this. What’s important is what happens next.”

“Is there _anything_ I can do?” She was almost begging, earnestly holding Carmichael's gaze. She was pretty sure she'd walk a tightrope naked if it meant that she could somehow hit the reset button on this trial. “Can we schedule more meetings this weekend, try to fix–”

“No, no that’s not necessary. I–” Carmichael stammered, taking off her glasses to rub her eyes. It was the first hint Audrey had seen that maybe this trial was taking a toll on her too. “I need to think about what we’re going to do next. You just go home and get some rest, Audrey. I’ll call you if I need anything.”

“Are you sure?” Audrey protested, not willing to give up so easily. There had to be _something_ she could do. “But I have to do everything I can to fix this–”

Carmichael set her glasses back on her nose and set her jaw, giving a small shake of her head. “There’s nothing you can do,” she replied. Much of the former harshness to her voice was now gone, but she was still firm. “This is my job, now.”

_“But–”_

“I'm serious, Audrey,” Carmichael interrupted her again, shaking her head. “Go home. And… a word of advice. Try to get some therapy, would you? Talk to someone.”

Carmichael turned back to the door, nodding at both Noah and Brooke as she pushed past them.

“But…” Audrey whirled around, desperate. “I _am_ in therapy!”

Carmichael gave her an apologetic smile over her shoulder, hand on the doorknob. “Then get better therapy.”

And then she was gone, and Audrey was left with the sick, roiling guilt in her stomach. She'd ruined _everything_ they had fought for, and from the looks Brooke and Noah gave her, they both knew it too. Audrey had made some bad decisions in the past, she knew that. She had made some terrible, awful decisions that had left every single one of them traumatized. There was blood on her hands, and she just watched her last chance at redemption waltz out the door.

Brooke reached for her, sympathy in her eyes. Audrey didn't deserve it. “She’s kind of got a point, you know.”

Audrey looked away, down at her shoes. She wanted to pull away, but it felt good to have Brooke’s hand in hers. She couldn't exactly disagree, so she didn't say anything.

Noah cleared his throat, reminding them both of his presence. “For what it’s worth, I thought you were doing spectacularly before, you know, that last bit.”

“Oh, great. _Thanks, Noah,_ ” Audrey spat, clenching her free hand. Noah probably didn't deserve her venom, but she couldn't stop it from spewing out of her anyway. “I’m so glad that everything was just _peachy_ before I opened my fat mouth and fucked our entire case.”

Noah stammered, even taking a small step back. “I’m just trying to help–”

“Well don’t, okay?” she shot back, her lip curling a little. She clenched her jaw and looked away from Noah, raking a hand through her hair. “You heard Carmichael. There’s no way to help now.”

“Look,” Brooke stepped in, reaching for Audrey's other hand and turning her so that they were facing each other. “Why don’t we go to my house and try to calm down so we can figure out what we’re going to tell Emma–”

 _“Oh god.”_ Audrey pulled her hands from Brooke’s and reached up to cover her face, her stomach lurching as a sudden realization hit her.

 _Emma._ Emma was never going to forgive her for this. The telltale stinging behind her eyelids only made her angrier.

“… Um,” Noah spoke up, his voice breaking a little. “I’ll just go tell our protective detail we’re ready to leave, then.”

Audrey didn’t see him go, but she could hear his footsteps as he escaped through the door. Audrey was grateful. She didn’t really feel like breaking down in front of him today.

“Audrey,” Brooke tried to soothe her, reaching for her and pulling her into a tight embrace. Audrey hated that she couldn’t stop the heavy sob that fought its way out of her chest as soon as she was in Brooke's arms. “Audrey, it’ll be okay.”

Audrey shook her head, but removed her hands from her face so she could cry into Brooke’s neck more freely. She felt Brooke’s fingers stroke through the hair at the back of her head and curl into her jacket, and it was more comfort than she probably deserved.

No, it wasn’t all just going to _be okay_. Things were never going to be okay again.

Kieran was going to walk, and it was entirely her fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and hey! don't forget the deleted scenes [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9138616/chapters/20764840) if y'all are still on this ride with us. and if you are, god bless you, we love you


	10. fight with myself 'till i'm bleeding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was totally gonna be posted much sooner but then we both just happened to move at the same time and also on the same weekend that mass effect andromeda came out so like that was probably optimistic of us to think that this would be posted earlier. BUT regardless here it is now and we hope you enjoy :)

Audrey had driven herself and Brooke into court earlier that day, but she was in no state to drive now, so it was Noah who dropped them both off at Brooke’s place. Audrey didn’t really want anyone to see her like this except maybe Brooke—for entirely selfish reasons—but there wasn’t any other way to get her there quickly and privately. So she rode quietly in the back seat with her head on Brooke’s shoulder, completely numb save for the feeling of Brooke’s arms around her.

Noah cleared his throat after he pulled up, letting his car idle as he turned around in his seat to look at the two of them. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay until–”

“We’ll be fine. I can handle it,” Brooke replied, opening the door so she could pull Audrey out of the back seat with her.

Audrey caught his eyes for half a second as she slid out of the car, but she looked away just as quickly. She could tell he wasn’t really ready to just let them go, but she wasn’t ready to deal with him trying to make things better either.

“I’ll call you if I need you,” Brooke insisted, poking her head through the window, her hand tight on Audrey’s. “I promise.”

“Okay,” Noah relented. He still looked hesitant, but he probably knew better than to fight Brooke too hard on this. “I– okay. Good luck.”

Brooke gave him a small smile and straightened again so he could back out of the driveway. “Thanks.”

Once he was gone, Brooke turned to Audrey, who hadn’t said a word and was now gazing very intently at the cobblestone walkway underneath her feet. “So,” she said, squeezing Audrey’s hand to get her attention. “What do you want to try first? Crying? Hitting something? The wine cellar?”

Audrey glanced at her briefly before looking away again. She pulled her hand from Brooke’s so she could shove both into her pockets, retreating to the front door of Brooke’s house.

“Oooookay,” Brooke sighed. She pulled her keys out of her purse and unlocked the door for Audrey, ushering her inside. “The silent treatment, then. Mature choice.”

Audrey huffed, making an immediate beeline for Brooke’s couch. She sank into it, reaching up to rub her eyes. She’d stopped crying, but her eyes still stung and she felt exhausted. Honestly, she didn’t want to do _anything._ “Can we just… sit for a minute? I don’t know what I want.”

Brooke followed her after she’d dropped off her purse and heels, settling next to Audrey on the couch. She pulled Audrey back into her arms and Audrey immediately felt better. There was a vile, nagging voice in the back of her head that reminded her she shouldn’t even _get_ to feel better.

Audrey closed her eyes and tried her best to ignore it.

“We don’t have to do anything,” Brooke promised, stroking Audrey’s hair. “We have all weekend and we don’t have to do anything at all. We can watch old Project Runway reruns or something. I’ll order pizza.”

“Okay,” Audrey muttered, her nose buried in the crook of Brooke’s neck.

“I know you don’t believe me, but it’s going to be okay, Audrey.”

No, Audrey really didn’t believe that, but knowing that Brooke hadn’t lost all hope still helped.

 

* * *

 

At some point Audrey had fallen asleep on Brooke’s couch, though she couldn’t remember when. It was dark out, now, and she was covered in a big blanket that she assumed Brooke had laid over her.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes, stretching her stiff muscles. She was still groggy, and her limbs felt heavy and numb, but she was pretty sure that wasn't just from the accidental nap. After a few moments of trying to shake the fog out of her head, she realized she could hear hushed voices coming from the kitchen.

Brooke was there, of course, but she immediately recognized Emma as the second voice. And– fuck, there was the nausea again. Audrey's stomach lurched and her chest tightened painfully. It was like walking in on Emma listening to that god-forsaken recording of her confession to Noah all over again. It was out of her hands, out of her control. Emma had to already know just how badly she had fucked up today and Brooke hadn’t even bothered to warn her. Maybe Audrey had wanted to tell Emma herself, but that wasn’t her choice anymore. She suddenly felt completely powerless, with no hope of fixing this. Emma certainly hated her, _had_ to blame her for the fact that Kieran was going to walk, and there wasn’t a single thing she could do about it.

She stood up from the couch, already feeling an ugly bitterness biting at her stomach, and swept into the kitchen to find a startled Brooke and Emma sitting at the counter with a half-eaten pineapple pizza. Both looked up at her first in surprise, but then with that same pity she'd seen in everyone's eyes since they left the courtroom earlier that day. She couldn't handle it anymore.

“Brooke,” Audrey accused, heat flaring behind her ears. “You called _Emma?”_

Brooke blinked at her in confusion, glancing toward Emma before turning back to face her. “Yeah, what were we going to do, leave her hanging at home? It was better that she heard from us.”

“That _I_ fucked up, right?” Audrey spat, sneering. “Did you tell her all about it, about how it's all my fault? That this was all going to be for nothing because I couldn't keep my fucking mouth shut, is that what you told her?”

 _“Whoah,_ Audrey,” Brooke shook her head, raising her hands to try and calm Audrey. “C’mon, of course it wasn't like that.”

“Yeah,” Emma intervened, blinking at Audrey in surprise, brows furrowed. “It's going to be okay, the trial isn't over yet.”

Audrey felt an acrid laugh bubble up from her gut and she reached up to drag her hand through her hair. She couldn't believe they were even attempting to smooth this over. It was like they were so bent on handling her with kid gloves, like she couldn’t handle the reality of the situation. It was obvious that neither of them were saying what they were really thinking. “Could we all, just for five seconds, stop pretending that _any_ of this is going to be okay? No, it's not going to be okay, none of us are okay. That fucking asshole has his teeth in us for the rest of our lives, so what the fuck does any of this matter? Can you tell me that?”

All she could see was red. Some part of her distantly recognized that she was losing all semblance of control, and her white knuckles were a testament to just how close to the edge she was getting. And she didn't have a punching bag anywhere near.

She whirled on Brooke again, who was staring at her in shock, speechless. “You didn't think to _ask me_ before–”

 _"Jesus_ Audrey, I was trying to help,” Brooke cut her off, furrowing her brows. She didn't look quite so sympathetic anymore, and Audrey was honestly glad for it. “It's not my fault you fucked up your cross-examination. You did that just fine on you own, so don't snap at me for trying my best to make this easier on you. I _thought_ you could use a little sympathy–”

“I don't _want_ or need your sympathy, Brooke,” she sneered, breathing hard. “I don't _deserve it.”_

“Guys, come on–” Emma tried again, caught in the middle of this, whatever _this_ was. Was this a fight? It sure felt a hell of a lot like a fight.

“Oh my _god,”_ Brooke complained, rolling her eyes as she released a sardonic laugh. “Get over yourself, Audrey. I know you don't give a fuck about therapy or whatever but you need to stop pretending the entire world rests on your shoulders alone. You fucked up, yeah, but this _display_ —or whatever you want to call it—is a joke.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, don't tell me you didn't just ride in here on your little storm cloud because you didn't want to make a show. “

“Wow,” Audrey said, her eyebrows shooting up. Of all people, _Brooke_ was gonna throw that at her?  She stepped forward, less than an arm's-length away from her now. “You're really one to talk, don't you think? Wasn't it you who wanted me to help you put on a show for Emma? Isn't it _you_ who got up on that stand like it was your own personal telenovela? You've just been fucking loving all of this, haven't you? All the cameras getting closeups of your pretty face, ‘cause everyone wants to hear from the poor mayor’s daughter, right?”

Brooke clenched her jaw shut, jutting her chin forward and standing her ground.

“Tell me,” Audrey continued, her voice dripping with venom. “How much did you spend on new dresses for this trial?”

Audrey watched as Brooke tightened her lips, the barest trace of a tremble in her chin. “Look,” came her hushed reply, her voice wavering almost unnoticeably. (Almost.) “I am barely keeping my cool here, so if you could just shut the hell up, that would be really helpful.”

“Oh, _I_ should shut the hell up.”

Emma stood up, her stool screeching against the tile floor. _“Guys–”_

“Yeah,” Brooke started in again, straightening so she was a little taller. Though, since she was currently barefoot, she was still a good two inches shorter than Audrey. “You know, some of us lost more to Kieran than a half-baked love interest and a psychotic skank of a lay so–”

“And _there it is!”_ Audrey shot back, not even letting her finish. She was yelling now, she was pretty sure, and she kind of felt like laughing. This was utterly ridiculous. “So much for all of our trauma being equal, right? I thought it wasn't a competition, but you've got it worse, don't you, Brooke?”

“Audrey, _don't–”_

She heard Emma’s warning but it was too late. It was all tumbling out of her, she was finally vomiting the sick knot that had been in her stomach all day, and with it came out every ugly thought she’d ever pushed away, every insecurity and worry she'd shoved to the back of her head in a vain hope that it would all go away.

“Jake’s gone, and so is Daddy,” Audrey started again, her voice dangerously low. “You've got it so bad, and all you have left is Daddy’s wine cellar and the last warm body you could find. ‘Cause that's all this ever was with us, right? Just a good fuck. A little night-time therapy.”

Brooke didn't say anything, but Audrey could see it: she hadn't just hit a nerve, she’d rammed a freight train into it. Audrey had seen Brooke’s bad side, and she knew what happened to people when they were on the receiving end of it—jesus, Branson had nearly lost his balls. Any hope of salvaging this had been lost about two seconds ago.

Emma rounded the edge of the counter to step between them, pulling Brooke behind her. “Would you two _just–!”_

She should stop. She should have stopped a long time ago. But hey, what was the point? She'd just ripped apart the last good thing she had going for her, so why put on the brakes now?

She whirled on Emma, shaking her head. “Oh, don't even get me _started,_ Emma.”

Emma looked confused, taken aback by the way Audrey had so easily turned on her.

“None of this would even be a fucking problem if you had just _believed me!”_ she shouted, gesturing furiously. “I told you your creepy-as-hell boyfriend had serial killer eyes last year! But no, screw that, Audrey! You _fucked him_ instead.”

She could see the hurt in Emma’s eyes as the words cut into her.

“Audrey, that's not fair, and you know it,” Emma replied, much more calmly and even-handed than she had any right to be.

“No. No, you know what's not fair?” Audrey said, her eyes blazing and locked onto Emma’s. “What's not fair is that _you_ weren't strong enough to end Kieran when you had the chance. And now I have to clean up after him for you.”

With that, Brooke stepped out from behind Emma, right up to Audrey again. “Oh _no,”_ she said, holding Emma behind her. Brooke barely came up to Emma’s chin without heels, and it would have been comical in almost any other situation, but Audrey wasn't laughing. “You do _not_ get to speak to her like that.”

Emma shook her head from behind Brooke, reaching to hold onto her hand. “Brooke…”

But Brooke wasn't having it. She stuck out her chin and drew herself as tall as she could, her chest out. “Get out of my house.”

Audrey blinked, sputtering. _“Excuse me?”_

“I'm serious,” Brooke rasped, still gripping tightly onto Emma’s hand, her eyes red around the edges. Despite her show of assertion, Audrey could see the damage she’d caused, and it was too late to take any of it back. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

Audrey shook her head in disbelief, taking a step back. That uncontrollable urge to laugh was back and she had little faith in her ability to hold it in. Every time she thought that maybe it was time for some good in her life, she turned around and tore it down herself before something else could do it for her. Because that was easier, right?

“And don't come back here until you're ready to stop taking out your insecurities on the people who care about you the most.”

“Brooke,” Emma argued, like she was still trying to salvage things somehow. “That's really not necessary, is it?”

Brooke shook her head. “Shut up, Emma. You don't deserve to hear this, and neither do I. Audrey, get out of here.”

Audrey backed up, rage still broiling inside her, but at least she wasn't word-vomiting anymore. She raised her hands in surrender, backing toward the foyer so she could grab her jacket. “You know what, _fine.”_

She was out the front door before anyone could say anything else. The cold night air stung her cheeks and her car was still at the courthouse, but it didn't matter. She'd fucking walk.

 

* * *

 

It took her thirty minutes to get a little over halfway to her house. Her thin jacket didn’t do much to shield her from the cold, but there wasn’t really anything she could do about that now. She was fucked, and she was fucked bad, nine ways to Sunday. Hypothermia was the absolute least of her worries.

She kept going over the fight in her head, reviewing each word they’d said to each other, blow by blow. She felt… _awful_ , but that wasn’t nearly a strong enough word. Why couldn’t she ever just shut her mouth? Why did she have to blurt out every vile thought that ever passed through her sorry excuse for a brain?

And here was the best part: all of this time, ever since that night she kissed Emma for the first time, she had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. She had always known, deep down in her gut, that something was bound to go wrong, that it was all way too good to be true. Well, here it was, the other shoe. She’d really outdone herself this time, because now neither Emma nor Brooke would ever speak to her again.

Just when she thought it might be a good idea to stop by a gas station to get a cup of coffee or something to warm herself up, the ground in front of her lit up in the glow of headlights as Noah’s weird-ass cube car pulled up beside her.

“Um,” he greeted once he rolled down the window, slowly following next to her as she walked “… Emma texted me and said I should find you. Need a ride?"

Audrey stopped in her tracks, her eyes still trained straight ahead. “Noah, I fucked up.”

“Yeah, I know,” Noah replied, putting his car into park so he could reach over to open the passenger side door for her. “But Carmichael is a _brilliant_ lawyer and I’m sure she’ll–”

“No, Noah,” she stopped him, finally turning to look at him. She felt numb inside and out, especially at her fingers and toes since they kind of felt like icicles at this point. She shook her head at him. “It’s… worse than that.”

Audrey watched him start to connect the dots, the text from Emma, the fact that he’d dropped her off at Brooke’s house earlier that day but now she was walking home alone. It wasn’t that hard to figure out.

“Oh no, Audrey.”

Audrey looked up at the clear sky, vaguely hoping it would swallow her whole. “I… may have insinuated that Brooke was only a good lay.”

_“Audrey.”_

She clenched her hands, and then released them again, trying to get the blood flowing. She stalled a few moments before she continued. “And that Emma wasn’t brave enough to kill Kieran.”

She turned her head to find Noah gaping at her.

“… Please tell me you’re joking,” he muttered, blinked at her in horrified disbelief.

She stared back at him in silence instead of answering.

“Okay, yeah, you’re not kidding. Audrey, get in the car.”

“Why, so I can insult you too?” she scoffed, starting to walk forward again. “I've already lost two friends tonight, I don't need to lose another.”

“Yeah, but you also need to not catch pneumonia, so,” he countered, gassing the car just enough to bring him up beside her again. “Get in the car.”

She stopped and looked at him, defeated. She didn’t have any fight left in her. She never wanted to have any fight in her ever again, all she ever did when she fought was hurt people. She left bruises on everyone she’d ever touched. Honestly, they all would be better off if Noah just drove away and left her to freeze.

But she got into the car anyway.

The immediate heat stung her cheeks and nose and her fingertips as she started to regain feeling in them. She didn’t say anything as Noah drove to his place, and she didn’t question their destination either. It’s not like her own house was any better, and at least Noah had the new _Gears of War_ and a 4k television. If nothing else, she could really go for murdering some monsters right about then.

Noah, to his credit, didn’t press her for more details. He’d always known her well enough to sense when to push and when to back off. Because he knew she needed that push sometimes, that she had a bad habit of keeping everything inside unless someone came around to dig it out of her. So instead he waited until the right moment, after several rounds of mowing down the _locust horde_ in gleaming hi-def.

“Feeling any better?” he asked, bounding down the steps to the basement with a pair of sodas. He handed one off to her before he sank onto the couch.

“Not really,” she admitted, cracking the soda can open. “I mean my fingertips don’t feel like they’re going to fall off so I guess that’s technically an improvement, but.”

“But?”

Audrey shrugged, frowning at her drink. “I don’t know, it doesn’t really feel like I should get to feel better.”

“Audrey, that’s ridiculous.” He frowned at her sternly, shaking his head while Audrey continued to avoid his gaze. “Everyone makes mistakes. _Everyone._ We all have done some seriously regrettable things.”

“Really, Noah?” she snapped, finally turning to look at him. “You really want to try and tell me that… that _any_ of what I’ve done is somehow excusable behavior? I fucked up and then I lashed out at Emma and Brooke. It was bad, Noah, everything just kept coming out and I couldn’t stop it. I threw _Jake_ at her.”

“Okay, yeah, that’s… pretty bad. But I’m not saying you should excuse yourself for that,” Noah argued. “It’s not about giving yourself a free pass, I’m saying that if you keep kicking yourself farther down this pit you’re never gonna climb out of it. Things get fucked up, sometimes it’s our fault, but taking responsibility doesn’t just stop at admitting guilt. That doesn’t help anything.”

“What am I supposed to do?” she argued helplessly. “I really don’t think sorry is going to cut it, here. It is _way_ too late for that.”

“So you’re just going to give up?” he asked, earnest. He searched her face intently. “Come on, Audrey. You can’t tell me that’s what you want, not after everything. Emma and Brooke are important to me too, you know that? And I can’t even _imagine_ what it’s like for you if I can’t stand the idea of cutting them out of my life. You _can’t_ just give up.”

Audrey fell silent, her eyes stinging a little. She reached up to wipe at them before tears could start falling, looking away from Noah again. “I don’t know if I really have much of a choice here, Noah.”

“So you had a fight. People fight, Audrey. It doesn’t mean you just pack it all in once the road gets rocky,” he pointed out, his voice softer. It was a soothing kind of soft, with a deep timbre she didn’t remember hearing in his voice when they’d first become friends in middle school.

Audrey laughed, still bitterly wiping away tears that hadn’t stopped despite her best efforts. They just kept falling until she was finally really crying, the second time for that day. Which sucked. She hated crying.

“This…” Audrey said thickly, holding her head in her hand. She hadn’t even really touched the soda Noah had brought her. “This isn’t just a bumpy road, Noah. I… I _demolished_ the road. It’s a fucking mess. I was awful to Brooke, and she didn’t deserve any of it, I just…”

“C’mon,” Noah told her in a hushed whisper. He took the soda from her hands and set it aside so he could pull her against his chest, right under his chin. When he spoke she could hear the way his voice rumbled in his chest. It kind of reminded her of her dad in a weird way, but she didn’t think that was a bad thing. Her dad used to hold her close like this, before her mom got sick, before she decided she liked girls. He’d set her on his knee and hold her close when she cried, tucked up underneath his chin with her head against his chest as he hushed and hummed to her until she stopped crying. It was strange to think about right then, but she couldn’t remember the last time her dad held her like that. “You know that's not fair. You haven’t even had a chance to apologize yet, you don’t know how she’ll react.”

Audrey wept harder into his chest, curling her fist into the front of his stupid graphic t-shirt. “Please, this is Brooke we’re talking about. She’s cold-blooded.”

“You don’t really believe that, do you?”

“Noah, she handcuffed Branson to a bed and left him in a hotel room, and that was _after_ she threatened to chop off his balls with a pair of scissors.”

“Well,” Noah replied, blinking. He pulled back a little so he could look down at her. “At least you don’t have to worry about that particular scenario. Not exactly, anyway.”

Audrey could almost laugh at that. She pulled away from him, rubbing her eyes. “She’s never going to forgive me.”

“You don’t know that. Why don’t you give her a chance?”

He had a point, she knew that, but in her gut she knew that if Brooke forgave her then that would mean on some level she might actually deserve forgiveness. And she wasn’t sure if she was ready to believe that.

She slumped against the couch again, no longer weeping so freely. She did feel a little shaky and weak because of all the crying she’d done today, and she could feel that her eyes were puffy, but at least she’d finally stopped bawling for the most part. Maybe for real, this time.

Staring up at the ceiling, she tried to figure out what she could possibly do. She had to apologize to Emma too, but that was ironically less scary. She and Emma had done this dance before, but Brooke was a whole other deck of cards. The last time she had anything to apologize for wasn’t even really about what Audrey had done, but more about what she _hadn’t_ done. She couldn’t pretend that the two situations were even in the same stratosphere.

Eventually she picked up the controller in front of her and started up another game so she could hit pause on her thoughts for a little while. She knew it was going to plague her all night, but maybe a little video game violence would distract her enough to be able to take a step back for a bit, let her think more clearly when she came back to it.

They eventually fell asleep together on the couch, in the dim glow of the the television that they’d forgotten to turn off. It wasn’t exactly the most restful night she’d ever had, but at some point Noah’s mom had brought down more blankets for them so at least she was warm. She woke up feeling a lot like she had a hangover, groggy and stiff, with a throbbing headache blooming in her skull. She didn’t move, even after Noah had started to shift and move around in the early light. He sat up and rubbed his eyes on the opposite end of the big couch and she poked her head out of her blanket to look over at him.

“Noah, what am I going to do?”

“Well,” Noah answered with a sigh, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. “Brooke always seems to respond well to groveling, if I recall correctly.”

“I'm not sure there's enough groveling in the world to make up for what I said last night,” she muttered darkly, a little disappointed that some revelation hadn’t floated its way down to her in the middle of the night.

“Well, not with that attitude,” he told her with a grin, perking up a little. He stood up and stretched, yawning. “C’mon, get up and we’ll get you some coffee. And _then_ we’ll go find some flowers.”

Audrey groaned and nearly rolled back over to bury herself in blankets again. She felt strongly opposed to the idea of getting up, but she knew Noah was right. She had to try.

“Hey, Noah?”

“Mm?” he hummed, turning to her with a half-folded blanket in his arms.

“Thank you.”

He gave her a warm smile, nodding. “Anytime, Audrey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're very sorry


	11. if i fall short, if i break rank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, we ended up fiddling with the wording a fair bit to make it perfect.
> 
> Enjoy!

After some breakfast and coffee, Noah went with her to a little flower shop near The Grindhouse. Audrey didn’t really know much about flowers, and they mostly just reminded her of hospitals, but Noah had apparently done this before. She let him take the reins when it came to choosing the arrangements for both Emma and Brooke (leave it to Noah to google “good flowers for apology” right away on his phone) and she was grateful to have his help. She would have been totally lost if she had tried to do this alone.

“You know, a lot of these say tulips,” he told her, scrolling through an article on his phone. “White, specifically. I guess it’s supposed to mean peace or something.”

“So… Tulips.” She looked up at the wall of flowers in front of her, a little overwhelmed by all the options.

“Probably at least for one of them,” Noah agreed, shrugging. “But maybe you shouldn’t get them both identical arrangements, that just seems like bad form.”

“You really think there’s precedent for apologizing to both of your girlfriends via flowers at the same time?”

Noah leveled her with a look.

“Yeah, don’t answer that,” Audrey said, thinking better of it.

“At least your situation is a little different than your standard cheating asshole routine,” Noah assured her with a small smirk. “You're not _quite_ that much of a jerk.”

Audrey threw him a glare and turned back to the flowers, honing in on an arrangement of pristine, white tulips. She pulled the bouquet from the display, holding them to her nose so she could smell them. “Okay, tulips. For Emma?”

“I think she’d like them,” Noah agreed, nodding. “That’s a nice one. What about Brooke?”

Audrey looked back at the display and reached up to scratch at her head nervously, fingers through her hair. “Brooke likes roses, I’ve seen them in her house. But that’s not… cliche, right?”

Noah shrugged, considering. “I don’t know, I think maybe roses are cliche for a reason. And if Brooke likes them…”

“Yeah,” Audrey agreed, more confident in her choice. She reached out and picked a bouquet of white roses with pink tips. She thought Brooke would like them. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“And _proflowers.com_ says that they make good apology flowers,” Noah added, holding up his phone with a grin. “I think we have our winners.”

“Yeah, I guess we’ll see,” Audrey replied, taking a deep breath. She moved to the front of the shop so she could pay for them, giving the shop clerk a flat smile. She hoped that the little old lady hadn’t heard too much of their conversation.

Flowers purchased, Noah took her back to the courthouse so she could pick up her car. She gave him a quick hug before he left, thanking him again and promising to call him later with updates. Once he was gone, and she was alone, the by now familiar feelings of dread and guilt both gripped her once again. But she was on a mission;  she just had to stay the course. Home first, then shower, then call Emma.

 

* * *

 

“C’mon Emma,” Audrey begged as the receiver of her phone rang in her ear, waiting for Emma to pick up. Her hair was still a little wet from her shower, but she didn’t really have time to worry about that. She had to get ahold of Emma while it was still early, before Emma had time to get even more upset with her. “Please pick up.”

“This is Emma! I can’t pick up right now, so leave a message!”

Audrey groaned at Emma’s predictably perky and generic voicemail greeting when it answered her instead. She hung up rather than leave a message, and sent a text.

_[11:43] Bi-curious: hey look i know things got messed up last night but i’d really like to talk to you_

_[11:45] Bi-curious: i have something for you?? i’m gonna come over right now to give it to you_

She didn’t wait for a response before she left for Emma’s house, laying both sets of flowers in her front seat. She supposed that Emma could still be at Brooke’s house, but it was easy enough to swing by Emma’s place first to see if she was there anyway.

She grabbed the tulips once she was parked in front of Emma’s house, dashing to the front door to knock on it. Whether Emma was there or not, Maggie’s car was in the driveway, so she’d at least be able to ask after her.

A few moments passed before the front door swung open and Maggie’s face greeted her. Maggie looked surprised. Audrey wasn’t quite sure what that meant. “Audrey, hi.”

She cleared her throat, feeling a little awkward and not quite sure what to do with the flowers in her hands. Audrey had no idea what Emma had told her mom about yesterday, but she had been at the trial, so she knew _that_ much. (And had also seen all of the pictures of her with Emma. Which, wow, she wished she had thought of that before right this second.) “Um. Is Emma home?”

Maggie glanced at the tulips, her expression unreadable. “No, she said she was going out.”

“Oh,” Audrey replied, a little crestfallen. But she’d been home, she assumed, if she had talked to her mom. “Is she with Brooke?”

Maggie shook her head. “I don’t think so. But I can take those flowers if you’d like me to. I’ll make sure she gets them.”

Audrey frowned at the bouquet before holding it out to Maggie. It was probably for the best; she didn’t know when Emma would be home and the flowers would fare better in a vase than in her car. “Yeah… Yeah, okay. Can you tell her I came by? And see if she’ll call me? I really need to talk to her.”

“Yeah of course, honey,” Maggie replied, taking the flowers from her. “I’m not sure when she’ll be back, but I’ll make sure she knows you came by.”

“Thanks,” Audrey nodded with a sigh. So much for finding Emma first. Her day had just gotten a little more difficult.

Just as she was about to head back to her car, Maggie cleared her throat to stop her. “Are you okay, Audrey?”

She had no idea how to answer that, much less to Emma’s mom. It’s not like her relationship with Emma was much of a secret at this point, but that didn't mean she was eager to have a nice chat with Maggie about she’d been covertly dating her daughter for a few months now. She turned around to face Maggie, reaching up to rub the back of her neck. “I just really need to talk to Emma.”

Maggie nodded, a small wrinkle of worry between her brows. “Alright.”

Audrey gave her flat smile and started backing to her car with one last ‘thank you.’ She really wasn’t sure what Maggie made of any of this, or how much she had figured out, but Audrey wasn’t ready to confront that right this second—especially since their _relationship_ might not even exist anymore after yesterday.

She stopped herself to take a deep breath. One thing at a time.

She hopped back into the front seat of her car and pulled away from Emma’s house, anxiously drumming her fingers on the steering wheel. So Emma was MIA for the time being. Which was fine, she likely just needed some space or something, there was no need to start worrying about her yet. Which meant… she had to find Brooke.

Objectively, she’d definitely fucked things worse with Brooke. Brooke had only been trying to help, Audrey could see that now, and she certainly hadn’t deserved anything that Audrey said to her last night. _And_ it was because of Brooke that she hadn’t gotten the chance to really lay into Emma. Brooke literally stood between the two of them, all five feet and two inches of her, just to stop her from harming Emma any further. Not only should she be apologizing to Brooke, she should be _thanking_ her.

She took the long way to Brooke’s house, prolonging the inevitable, trying to think of what she was going to say. None of it was enough, couldn’t possibly be enough. She honestly wasn’t sure if _anything_ was ever going to be enough, but she had to try.

Despite her best efforts to stall, Audrey finally found herself in Brooke’s driveway, the silhouette of the massive house looming ahead of her. She parked and grabbed the roses, careful not to damage them as she ran up to Brooke’s doorstep and started banging on the door.

She stood there for a solid two minutes with no response, periodically knocking again, harder with each attempt. “Come on, Brooke!”

No answer. Audrey banged her head against the door in front of her with a dull thud. “Brooke, please, can we at least talk?”

Again, nothing.

Audrey groaned and stepped away from the door, shouting up at the house with her arms wide open. “I know you’re home, your car is right there! You can’t just ignore me forever, come on!”

There was another long series of moments until a window on the second floor opened above her and Brooke’s head popped out. She glared down at Audrey, leaning with both arms on the windowsill.

“We have nothing to talk about,” Brooke called to her.

“Come on, Brooke,” Audrey begged. She was about ready to literally drop down to her knees. “I wanted to get here as fast as I could so I can apologize."

“Oh, really?” Brooke laughed bitterly. “Was Emma home when you went by her house first?”

Audrey gawked at her, completely thrown off. How could she have even known? “... _Shit.”_

“Yeah, I thought so,” Brooke spat, shaking her head as she turned to retreat back into her house.

_Fuck._ Audrey bolted to the front door and started banging on it again, increasingly frantic. “Brooke, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll… I'll call your neighbors! And the police!”

Silence. She knocked again, harder. A part of her was starting to wonder if she might draw blood, but she'd knock until her knuckles were raw if she had to. “I’ll throw rocks at your windows! I swear to god, Brooke, I will go get a fucking boom box and hold it over my head out here until you let me inside.”

No answer, again. She knew that Brooke was stubborn, but _jesus_. Audrey gave one last knock, really more of a punch. Her knuckles stung as she let her head thud against the door again.

“At least…” she yelled, pushing through the crack in her voice, trying to fight the stinging sensation behind her eyes. “At least take the flowers.”

Audrey almost fell forward as the door swung open, but she managed to catch herself on the frame. She looked up with wide eyes to find Brooke standing before her, her hair tied loosely up into a messy bun, her makeup smudged. She looked…. Well, she looked like a _mess_ . Not that Brooke could ever really, truly be messy, but she was wearing _sweatpants_. (Before about three seconds ago, Audrey wasn’t even sure she owned sweatpants.)

Brooke cleared her throat, arms crossed. She reached out one hand to Audrey expectantly. “Fine, give me the flowers.”

“Brooke, I’m so sorry for what I said last night,” Audrey said, begging as best she could while she held out the pink-tipped roses.

“Okay, great,” Brooke replied, flippant. She snatched the flowers out of Audrey’s hand and thrust her chin out. “You apologized. You can leave now.”

“Brooke, _please–”_

“Don’t you think you’ve said enough?”

“I didn’t mean it, _any_ of it,” Audrey insisted, still gripping tightly onto the doorframe. “You have to know that.”

Brooke rolled her eyes. “Great, I’m so glad to hear that you think I have more to offer the world than a quick fuck.”

“You know you mean so much more than me than that.” Audrey searched Brooke’s face desperately, seeking out some sign that Brooke hadn't already written her off completely. She knew that Brooke had to feel it too, that they'd shared so much more than a few nights to escape loneliness.

Brooke remained silent, pursing her lips as she appraised Audrey. After several agonizing seconds, she pushed off from the door and turned around to retreat back into the house, leaving the door wide open. Audrey was pretty sure she didn't believe in God or Jesus or anything like that, but she sent a small prayer of thanks to the heavens just in case. Old habits die hard.

She closed the door behind her and followed Brooke into the kitchen. Brooke had located a vase and had grabbed a pair of large kitchen scissors so she could start trimming the stems of her roses. Audrey eyed the scissors warily, briefly wondering if perhaps she should wait to do this until Brooke was no longer armed. But the voice in the back of her head—which was starting to sound alarmingly like Noah—reminded her that if she walked out now, Brooke would never let her back in again. This had to be now or never.

“Brooke…” she started, approaching the kitchen island. She kept it between Brooke and herself for the sake of her physical safety. “I know there's nothing I can say to fix this, but please know that if I could just take it all back I would, in a heartbeat. You didn't deserve any of that.”

Brooke didn't even look up at her, instead focusing on the flowers. Each individual _snip_ of her scissors echoed ominously in Audrey’s ears.

“Look, I fucked up. I fucked up _royally,_ I know that,” Audrey continued earnestly, trying to catch Brooke’s eyes. It was a little difficult when Brooke was doing her best to look anywhere but directly at her. “I… I don't know, something snapped and I lost control, and I know that's not even remotely an excuse, but it wasn't you. It was all on me.”

Brooke snipped the end off of the last rose and turned to the sink so she could fill the elegant vase she'd chosen. At least she seemed to like the flowers enough to keep them. She could have just as easily run them through the garbage disposal.

“Come on, Brooke,” Audrey prodded cautiously. She moved around the edge of the counter and tried a small smile. “The silent treatment? Real mature, right?”

That earned her a biting glare from Brooke, but it wasn't as venomous as it could have been. She looked more annoyed than anything else, but Audrey would take that over the vicious anger she’d been seeing in Brooke’s eyes since last night.

Audrey tilted her head and stepped closer, searching for some way past Brooke’s rock-solid walls, but she was concrete, like a fortress. “I don't expect you to forgive me, I really don't. You deserve better. And you know… I'm really glad that you have Emma.”

Brooke was back to ignoring her. She took the newly-filled vase and started arranging the roses in it with a practiced hand.

“God,” Audrey huffed, raking a hand through her hair, starting to feel a bit defeated. She didn't know what made her think she even stood a chance. “You know, maybe I really should have come here to apologize first.”

“Yeah,” Brooke bit back, finally breaking her stubborn silence. She pushed past Audrey with her vase of flowers so she could take them to the front sitting room. “Maybe you should have.”

_“Brooke,”_ Audrey begged, stumbling after her. “It wasn't– I didn't ever want to just… push you off, or whatever. I… Honestly I was scared, Brooke. You're intimidating as shit, you know that?”

Brooke placed the vase on a table in the corner of the room, idly rearranging the blossoms until they were perfect. She turned her head as Audrey approached, coming up behind her. She didn't pull away, but there was a warning behind her eyes.

“And why wouldn't I be scared?” Audrey asked, and cautiously reached out to set her hand on Brooke’s waist. When Brooke didn't show any signs of protest, she pulled herself closer, right up against Brooke’s back. “You're amazing, and beautiful, and _sexy_ . Jesus, Brooke, I thought I never stood a chance with you. I didn’t think you'd even _consider_ me to begin with.”

She heard Brooke release a soft sigh, the first sign that maybe she was making progress. Audrey closed her eyes and pressed her cheek against Brooke’s head, breathing her in deeply. The scent of her skin washed through Audrey’s senses, dizzying her and putting an ache in her belly. It was almost intoxicating, considering she’d spent the past twenty-four hours worrying that she would never get to have this again. “That first night we really talked, at your Halloween party… I wanted there to be something. I don't even remember what I said to you, but I remember… I remember the way you smiled at me. I think that was the first time you were ever that close to me, but it didn't feel like I was worthy of it even then. All I could ever hope is that you'd let me stay close anyway.”

Brooke gave a soft groan and let herself lean back into Audrey. She reached up and touched her hand to Audrey's cheek over her shoulder, nails against her skin. She still wouldn't look at Audrey, intent on keeping up that last line of defense.

Audrey couldn't help herself. Maybe Brooke was solid, but she was already breaking down, ready to give in to whatever Brooke would have of her. She slid her hands up Brooke's stomach, dragging her t-shirt up along with them. She pushed her hips right up against Brooke's and muttered against her cheek, “I _want_ to stay, Brooke. I want to be here, close to you, with your skin next to mine.”

Brooke inhaled and tilted her head back, opening herself up to Audrey. She slipped her hand into Audrey's hair, grasping onto it when she felt Audrey's lips on her neck.

“Audrey…”

Before Audrey could reply, Brooke turned around to face her. The dangerous flash in her eyes was the only warning Audrey got before Brooke's biting kisses pushed her back, roughly against the wall behind her.

The burn of her mouth stung like fire, like hot coals against her lips. Honestly, she wasn't sure if this was Brooke’s version of reconciliation, or some form of further punishment. She whined into Brooke’s mouth as she felt teeth, biting and scraping against her lips. Brooke had pinned her against the wall, her hands under her shirt and nails digging into her skin. All Audrey could do was hold on and kiss her back, hoping this could somehow show Brooke how she felt better than words ever could.

Just when Audrey thought that Brooke might actually start ripping into the fabric of her shirt, she slowed down. Brooke drew her kisses out longer and longer, languidly dragging her tongue over Audrey’s teeth, pushing her hands up Audrey’s stomach until she could palm one of her breasts.

Audrey groaned softly, just about ready to breathe a sigh of relief for getting back into Brooke’s good graces, when suddenly she felt Brooke shove her roughly away and into the small table next to them. Her hip struck against the corner of it and the vase of newly-trimmed roses teetered on the edge until it tumbled and fell onto the carpeted floor with a muffled crack.

“Ow, _fuck,”_ Audrey gasped sharply, just as much in surprise as pain. She reached to rub her hip gingerly, looking up at Brooke with wide eyes. “Jesus, Brooke, what was that for?”

“Because I'm still mad at you, you fucking idiot,” Brooke growled, folding her arms defiantly. “God, you just waltz in here, like an apology and a few compliments will make everything better.”

Audrey dropped to her knees and picked up the vase on the ground, turning it over with a sick feeling in her gut. There was a long crack starting at the lip of the vase and ending about halfway down. It wasn’t broken _entirely_ , but with Audrey’s luck it was probably still irreplaceable. Unfixable. One more thing she could never make up. “I _know_ it won't, Brooke, I just wanted the chance to–”

“It's my fault, really, I don't even know why I try with you,” Brooke cut her off bitterly. She grabbed the vase from Audrey’s hands and set it back onto the table with the crack facing the wall. She turned to the couch in the middle of the room so she could throw herself onto it, drawing her knees to her chest. “I'm always going to end up second place to Emma, and the sooner I accept that and move on with my life, the happier I’ll be.”

Audrey’s mouth fell open as those words sank in. Once she understood the full meaning of them, she rushed to the couch, on her knees in front of it. “Brooke, that's not– You can't _possibly_ think that I–”

_“Can't I?”_ Brooke actually laughed, verging on hysterics. When she lifted her head to face Audrey, her eyes were shiny and red with unshed tears. “You _always_ go to her first. You know, just for once, if I could be somebody's first choice–”

“Brooke, it's– it's not a _choice,”_ Audrey insisted. She reached out to Brooke, catching one of her hands and staring up at her earnestly. “I went to her this morning because… Because I knew what to expect. Because I already know what Emma’s going to do, but _you petrify me_. And I didn't know if you'd ever even speak to me again, let alone let me in the front door.”

Audrey gripped onto Brooke's legs, pulling them down from her chest so there was space for her to kneel between her knees. “ _Fuck_ , Brooke, the very real possibility that I've fucked this up so bad that you won't take me back makes me want to crawl into a hole and die somewhere. It terrifies me how much I love you, and the thought of losing you–”

Brooke's delayed gasp, cutting off her rambled groveling, was her only clue that she should go back and reexamine what she had just said. It left her jaw on the floor, still mid-sentence as she realized precisely what she’d said, as well as the undeniable truth of it. She had never even _thought_ it in so many words, but she knew immediately that she meant it.

Brooke stared at her, eyes piercing through layers of skin and muscle and bone to her very core. “Say that again.”

Audrey sat up on her knees, rising to draw herself closer. "I love you. I mean it, Brooke."

Audrey blinked, closed her eyes for less than a second, and in that time Brooke brought herself mere inches away from her, their breath mingling in the sudden complete lack of personal space. Brooke reached to hold Audrey’s face, gripping her chin almost painfully, and whispered, “Say. It. _Again.”_

"I'm in love with you. Completely. _Helplessly.”_

The only word she could think of to describe what happened next was Brooke _melting_ into her. She slipped off the edge of the couch and into Audrey's lap, the sudden weight pushing her off-balance and pitching them both onto the ground.

She'd kissed Brooke a lot of times, in more ways than she could describe, but never like this. Every time Brooke’s tongue met hers it sent another shock to her system, another electric current straight to her chest that made her heart jump and sputter. Audrey desperately, hungrily kissed her again and again, but it could never be close to enough.

At some point in the middle of this, in the middle of seeking restitution somewhere behind Brooke’s lips, a wet stinging sensation on her cheek made her pull back.

“Brooke, _hey,_ are you okay?” Tears were streaming down Brooke’s face, and now both of their cheeks were wet with them. Audrey reached up to try and wipe at them with her thumbs, but new tears replaced each that she swept away.

Brooke shook her head and grabbed onto the collar of Audrey's shirt, still weeping even as she tried to bat away Audrey’s hands. “I'm _fine,_ just shut up and kiss me.”

Audrey wasn't about to say no to anything Brooke asked of her just then, especially not that. She let Brooke pull her close again and caught her lips, and buried her hands in messy blonde hair. She rolled Brooke onto her back to pin her to the carpet, about to dive in for more when she knocked her freshly bruised hip into Brooke’s as she fell against her.

_“Fuck,”_ Audrey swore, hissing in pain as she reached for her hip again. Normally Brooke’s bony hips weren’t much of a problem, but evidently that corner table had left her tender.

“Did it bruise?” Brooke asked, reaching as well. She lifted the edge of Audrey’s shirt to reveal a pink mark that was already blooming into a healthy bruise just above the waistband of her jeans. Brooke grimaced and carefully grazed her thumb over Audrey’s hip, barely daring to touch her. “Shit, I’m sorry, Audrey. I really didn't mean to push you so hard, I can go get some ice–”

“Brooke,” Audrey cut her off, smiling crookedly. She took Brooke’s hand and settled herself between her legs, this time a little more carefully.

“Yeah?”

“It's fine. Just shut up and kiss me.”

Brooke’s eyes lit up and she smiled at that, even underneath her damp cheeks. Just the sight of it on Brooke's face made every one of Audrey's nerve endings sing. “Yeah, okay.”

Audrey pulled her in again, kissing her deeply as Brooke tugged the shirt off of her back. Audrey sat up to help and tossed it, her hair a complete mess. The moment it was gone, Brooke reached for her and flipped her onto her back, kneeling between her legs. She started tugging at Audrey's jeans almost right away, bending to press kisses to her ribs and stomach.

_“Brooke,”_ Audrey gasped, sucking in a breath. She had expected to take more of a back seat, this time, to just focus on Brooke. (She _was_ the one apologizing, after all.) But apparently, Brooke had a different plan.

Brooke nipped at a patch of skin next to her belly button, grinning up at her with bright eyes as she shifted back to throw Audrey’s jeans aside. She braced herself above Audrey and dipped her head to catch a quick kiss. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Audrey smiled, stealing a kiss of her own.

“You're an idiot, Audrey. But I love you too.”

Warmth spread across Audrey's chest as she looked up at Brooke, a little dizzy from the sudden turn they’d taken. She knew, in the back of her head, that she still had plenty to be sorry for, but she’d be more than willing to make up for that however Brooke wanted her to. And if Brooke wanted _this,_ then she was thrilled. She propped herself up on one elbow and grabbed onto the back of Brooke’s head, kissing her with abandon. Soon she felt Brooke carefully rock her hips against hers and an aching need flared between her legs. She gave a soft groan, almost dropping herself back onto the ground.

She felt Brooke smile against her lips, just briefly, before she did it again.

_“Fuck,_ Brooke,” Audrey gasped, panting a little. She sat up, pulling herself off the ground as she reached for the old t-shirt Brooke had on, pulling it off of her as fast as she could.

Brooke smiled slyly as it came off and leaned forward again. She nudged her nose to Audrey’s and kissed her leisurely. “God, I love you. I’ve been in love with you for months.”

Audrey grinned against her lips, even though that made it harder to actually kiss. She hummed softly and threaded her fingers through Brooke’s blonde hair, savoring the taste of her lips until Brooke’s words finally clicked.

“Wait, for _months?”_

“Yes,” Brooke breathed, dragging her hands over Audrey’s stomach, not letting Audrey pull back fully. “Do you really want to talk about that right now?”

She had a point. There was a lot going on right now, not the least of which was Brooke reaching around her waist to deftly unclasp her bra, tugging it away so she could palm her breast a moment later. A small groan slipped past Audrey’s lips as she felt Brooke thumb across her nipple.

_“Wait,”_ Audrey said, opening her eyes. Despite Brooke’s best efforts, she still kept coming back to what she’d said. _Months_. “How many months?”

Brooke sighed and rolled her eyes. “Audrey.”

“What?” Audrey protested, still grinning as she continued to steal kisses. She suddenly realized she was a lot farther behind Brooke in the clothing department, nearly completely naked while Brooke had only lost her shirt. She reached for Brooke’s hips, hooking her fingers into the elastic of her sweatpants. “Come on, I wanna know.” She paused to steal a kiss. “How long have you been in love with me?”

Brooke shook her head, taking kiss after kiss from Audrey’s lips. “It doesn’t matter–” Another kiss. “Since–” And another. “Since the Gawker thing, okay?”

The Gawker thing. The night she told Emma. The night she spent the night wrapped up in Emma while Brooke did everything in her power to fix it. Audrey pulled back and raised her eyebrows at Brooke, her hands still clutching the waist of Brooke’s pants. “Since _that_ night?”

_“Yes,”_ Brooke replied roughly, reaching to cover Audrey’s hands with hers, pushing them down her hips. “Fuck, come on Audrey, get these off of me. You’re slacking.”

“Okay, _okay,”_ Audrey agreed, hastily dragging Brooke’s sweatpants off of her. “Why didn’t you say–?”

“Audrey Jensen, I am not above ripping this underwear off of your body if you don’t get moving.”

_“Okay!”_

Brooke reached behind her back to undo her own bra, hurrying it off and shimmying out of her underwear with Audrey’s help. She came back to Audrey, smirking as her hands landed on the elastic of Audrey’s underwear. “Besides, these are like one of your only three nice pairs.”

“Oh come on, I have at least like five,” Audrey argued, breathing shallowly as Brooke pulled them off her hips at an agonizing pace.

“If I had known your size I would have grabbed you some briefs in New York, but since _somebody_ refused to tell me...”

“Brooke?”

Brooke stopped to raise an eyebrow her, still only halfway done with getting Audrey’s underwear off of her.

“I love you.”

Audrey could _feel_ the shudder that passed through Brooke at those words, and her heart felt so big in her chest she thought it might go off like a ticking bomb.

“I love you too.” It was more of a sigh than anything, and Brooke leaned in to kiss her again and… yeah, they were done talking. Anything else they possibly could have discussed went out the window when Brooke finished tugging off the last shred of clothing between them and dropped a hand between Audrey's thighs. Audrey gasped sharply, curling her fingers tightly into Brooke’s hair, behind her neck.

It was slow at first, as Brooke took her time. She knew exactly how much power she really had over Audrey, and this was one of her favorite times to wield it. Still, even as Brooke slipped her fingers into Audrey, it was clear that Brooke was starting to lose her normally ironclad grip on control pretty quickly. Audrey leaned her forehead against Brooke’s and released another shaking groan as Brooke dragged her fingertips across the front of her, grasping onto the wrist of Brooke's free hand.

It still surprised her just how good Brooke was at this. Even now, when she had already come undone like this at Brooke's hand countless times, Audrey trembled under her and clutched at her waist to try and find some kind of anchor.

“C’mon, baby,” Brooke breathed, their lips only inches apart.

Audrey gave another shudder when she felt the heel of Brooke’s hand press against her, but she still had enough sense left to remember that she _was_ here for a reason. She opened her eyes to look at Brooke and bit down hard on her own bottom lip, just before she let the hand she had on Brooke's waist drop between her legs and slide into her without warning.

_“Audrey–”_ Brooke cried, immediately fumbling her steady pace. Audrey wasn't going to complain, though. If anything, it only ratched her up higher. Brooke was always so precise, always made sure she had the upper hand, so it was a small price to pay if it meant she got to watch Brooke lose control.

Audrey grinned against her lips as she stole messy, uncoordinated kisses. She did her best to catch Brooke up, panting along with her as she rode Brooke’s fingers in time with her own strokes. Brooke moaned, shameless as she pushed her own knees wider apart from where she was kneeling between Audrey’s legs. She sank onto Audrey’s fingers and then pulled off of them again, timing her thrusts with Audrey’s rhythm, eventually finding a steady beat they could both build off of.

Still, every time Audrey felt like she could focus on her own task at hand, pumping her fingers at a heated pace, Brooke turned around and did something to throw her off, getting her to stutter and stumble. Brooke smirked and pressed her thumb to the sensitive nub at the apex of her legs and Audrey nearly blacked out. They weren't actually kissing any longer, but her lips still slid across Brooke’s as she groaned raggedly into them.

She still managed to keep up, doing her best as they chased each other to a finish that was far too close and much too far away at the same time. In the end, it was Brooke who went first, barely keeping herself upright as she shook and gasped a cry, with Audrey soon following after.

They clung to each other in the middle of the sitting room floor, Brooke kneeling between Audrey’s knees, forehead against hers. All they could do was try to catch their breath, still dazed in the aftermath of their mutual finish.

“I'm still mad at you, you know,” Brooke breathed, after she finally regained enough of her senses to speak.

Audrey nodded, pulling Brooke closer, into her lap. “I know.”

“You're going to spend the rest of the year making this up to me,” Brooke continued. She held onto Audrey's face, forehead still pressed against hers as their noses bumped together. “Maybe even the rest of our lives.”

Audrey could feel Brooke's breath on her lips as she spoke, and there was something exhilarating about the way she felt completely stripped before Brooke now, the way there was nothing between them. She didn't think she’d ever felt this exposed, but also never so close to Brooke before now. “Seems fair. And I think I might owe you a vase now.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, it didn’t break. Besides, that wasn’t even your fault,” Brooke argued, shaking her head. Their foreheads were still pressed close together, and neither of them were willing to pull away.

“Yeah, but it’s a nice one, isn’t it?” Audrey asked worriedly. She knew that it had to be. Anything in the Maddox household was almost certainly worth some kind of small fortune. “It’s probably from like India or something.”

“It’s from Morocco and it was one of a kind, but I don’t care,” Brooke insisted, reaching up to thread fingers through Audrey’s hair. A smile tugged at her lips and she didn't have to press forward by much in order to catch Audrey’s lips in another kiss. “So are you.”

Audrey smiled. “I'm not from Morocco.”

That got her a laugh, a real laugh between kisses. “You know what I mean.”

So, the vase was almost certainly irreplaceable, but it was hard to worry so much about that while Brooke wound her arms around Audrey’s shoulders and slowly kissed her through the haze that had settled around them. She'd worry about it more later.

It still took them more time to fully regain their breath, and in that time they did nothing but kiss while Audrey slowly traced constellations into Brooke’s back, carefully connecting each freckle. Once their breathing had finally evened out, Audrey’s lips pulled into another crooked grin and she rolled to pin Brooke once again.

Brooke raised her eyebrows, a grin of her own tugging at her lips. “What are you doing?”

“Making it up to you,” Audrey replied, like it was obvious. Her grin turned a little wolfish and she started slowly kissing her way down Brooke’s torso, pausing to spend time with her breasts before continuing her pursuit down Brooke’s stomach. “If I have years ahead of me, I better get started, right?”

Brooke bit her lip and laid back, closing her eyes as she let Audrey grovel a little more. There might be a long road ahead, but for now, Audrey would let her tongue do some of the heavy lifting for her.

 

* * *

 

At some point during the subsequent hours that passed, Audrey had lost all concept of time, in the middle of making love to Brooke over and over again. They eventually moved upstairs to Brooke’s room, but Audrey couldn't have said how many hours had actually passed. They'd really only taken breaks to sleep and grab snacks from the kitchen. It wasn't until Brooke shook her awake to tell her what time it was that she even gave it more than a fleeting thought.

“Audrey,” Brooke hissed, sitting up in bed, covers pooled around her waist. “It's eight o’clock.”

Audrey groaned and rubbed her eyes, curling herself around Brooke the best she could. “So? Are you hungry? Maybe we could get something delivered. Is anything open yet?”

“No, babe,” she shook her head, reaching for her phone. “It's eight o’clock Sunday. Sunday _Night.”_

“What?” Audrey’s eyes snapped open and she sat up, blinking in confusion. Had they really somehow lost an entire _day?_

“Yeah,” Brooke confirmed, waving her phone in front of Audrey's face to demonstrate her point.

“Holy shit,” Audrey swore, covering her mouth with her hand. She couldn't believe that they'd actually been this wrapped up in each other for more than twenty-four hours straight, but now that she thought about it, the timeline seemed to match up.

“Hey, have you heard from Emma?” Brooke asked, her brows knitting together into a worried line.

Audrey shook her head. “I don't know, I think my phone’s still downstairs.”

“You should go get it, I'm gonna try and call her,” she said, already dialing.

Audrey gave her a nod and a swift kiss on the cheek before she left to bound downstairs. She found her jeans draped haphazardly over the arm of the couch and she picked them up to look through the pockets. Successful in her search, she pulled out her phone and woke it up to see if Emma had called or texted her back. She found several texts from Noah, all begging for some kind of update, but nothing from Emma. Audrey frowned, starting to worry.

She gathered the rest of both her own and Brooke's clothing and took them upstairs with her to report.

“Anything?” Brooke asked, chewing at her bottom lip as she tapped on the screen of her phone.

“No, nothing,” Audrey replied as she slipped into bed next to her again. “You?”

“I got her voicemail, I'm sending her a text right now.”

Audrey nodded, sending a quick text of her own to Noah to give him a heavily censored summary of how she’d spent the last day and a half. She also checked if he'd seen or spoken to Emma in the last twenty-four hours. “Okay, I'll try calling too. And we should try Maggie—maybe she knows where Emma is.”

“Not a bad idea,” Brooke agreed. She moved closer to slip her arms around Audrey's waist, setting her chin on her shoulder.

Audrey closed her eyes and leaned into her a little as the phone rang, receiver pressed to her ear. It rang for several moments before going to voicemail and Audrey swore internally, trying not to panic. “Hey, Emma, please when you get this can you call me or Brooke? Just let us know you're okay.”

“Shit, Audrey,” Brooke muttered, looking at Audrey fearfully. “What if–?”

“Don't,” Audrey cut her off, twisting a little so she could look at her. “She’ll be fine. I'll text her again.”

Brooke chewed on her lip and nodded, though she didn't look entirely convinced. Audrey had a sick sense of dread herself, but they couldn't go down that path just yet.

_[8:11] Bi-curious: hey are you okay? i haven't heard from you at all and im starting to worry_

_[8:11] Bi-curious: where are u???_

She turned to Brooke again, resting her forehead against hers. “It's probably okay. It's gotta be.”

Brooke nodded, tightening her grip around Audrey. “Yeah.”

They sat like that, quiet and still as Audrey tried to think of something to say. Before she could, her phone vibrated and lit up in her hand, and the both of them snapped to attention.

_[8:17] Survivor Girl: Everything is fine, I promise. I'm sorry I've been gone, we can talk tomorrow, okay?_

Audrey shared a confused look with Brooke, not really sure what to make of that.

“At least it sounds like she's okay?” Audrey said, typing out a quick reply.

“Yeah,” Brooke nodded, reaching for her own phone. “She replied to me too. I guess we’ll see her tomorrow.”

Audrey nodded, taking one of Brooke’s hands in hers. “Probably after court.”

A familiar sense of dread sank into her stomach. _Court._ Shit, she still had to deal with that.

_“Fuck,”_ Audrey swore, reaching up to cover her face with her hands. “Brooke… what am I going to do?”

“Hey,” Brooke murmured, reaching to turn Audrey’s chin toward her. “It's gonna be okay, Carmichael knows what she's doing.”

“She didn't seem all that optimistic on Friday,” Audrey pointed out, starting to feel nauseous again.

“But she's had all weekend to prepare,” Brooke offered. She started slowly rubbing her hands to Audrey’s skin, over her stomach, in an attempt to soothe her. “You’ll see, it's not over yet.”

Audrey breathed in a big sigh, leaning into Brooke. She wasn't sure how much she really believed her, but she wanted it to be true. She’d let Brooke do her best to calm her nerves. “Okay.”

“C’mon, let's order from that Chinese place or something,” Brooke suggested, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. “I've got a fuzzy bathrobe for you if you don't want to put pants back on.”

Audrey laughed a little at that, indulging in the distraction. “Only if there's one for you too.”

_“Duh,”_ Brooke grinned, scrolling through a menu on her phone. “Fuzzy bathrobes are like… one of the few great pleasures left on this earth. What do you want to eat?”

Audrey turned so she was facing Brooke again, pulling her into her lap. She wasn’t that hungry, but Brooke was probably right. In retrospect, Audrey was pretty sure she hadn’t eaten anything significant since breakfast with Noah yesterday. And at least it was a small distraction from the inevitable. There was no way of knowing what was going to happen in the morning.


	12. we'll give it one more fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey dudes, sorry this is so late the spring flu got us. for that one anon who asked for an update: this is for you xoxo

Audrey stayed with Brooke that night since she wasn’t sure she could face being alone. When they woke up, she let Brooke shower and dress before they left to swing by her own house so she could get ready as well, allowing Brooke to pick out her clothes and make sure she at least looked presentable. She normally wouldn’t need the help, but today Audrey was nothing but a bundle of raw nerves. Without Brooke, Audrey probably couldn’t have even picked out matching socks.

They both arrived at the courthouse earlier than usual and waited for Noah with their protective detail. They were pretty used to the whole ordeal by this point, but seeing all the reporters and cameras outside still managed to get under Audrey’s skin—especially after last week. 

“Hey,” Noah greeted, arriving just in time. He gave a small nod to both Brooke and Audrey, a question in it.

Audrey returned his nod, and Brooke reached to hold onto her hand in answer.

He gave them both a wide smile, breathing a sigh of relief. “Good. Ready?”

“No,” Audrey shook her head, releasing a small, bitter laugh. “But that won’t stop anything. Let’s go.”

Brooke gave her hand one last squeeze before she pulled it away again. The reporters already had plenty to gossip about; there was no point in giving them more fodder. (Audrey flexed her fingers, as she felt Brooke’s absence like a physical ache. God, she was so sick of the press.)

They all settled in their seats once inside, and a hushed silence fell between them as they waited for the trial to continue.

Judge Burke banged her gavel once she was seated, bringing the entire room to attention. “Court is now in session. Where were we last weekend?” She peered over her notes, her glasses resting on the tip of her nose.  “Ah, Ms. Jensen’s cross-examination. Bailiff, if you would please–”

“Actually, your honor,” Sterling interrupted, just as Audrey stood from her seat in the gallery. “I’ve decided to end her cross where we left it last weekend. Unless the prosecution would like to redirect, I believe the court has heard all it needs.”

Carmichael stood and shook her head in answer, leaning against the large desk in front of her. “The prosecution has no need to redirect.”

“Well then, Ms. Jensen, you are off the hook,” Judge Burke replied, giving her a sympathetic nod. “And Mrs. Carmichael, I believe that was your last witness, so unless there is anything else–”

“Actually,” Carmichael answered, nodding her head graciously, “and I’m sorry your honor, we do have one more last minute witness to add.”

Barely left with more than a moment of relief at the prospect of dodging more time on the stand, Audrey realized what Carmichael was about to say only half a second before it happened. But that didn’t leave her any more prepared when Carmichael proclaimed–

“The state calls Emma Duval to the stand.”

If Audrey thought the room had exploded at the end of her cross-examination, it was nothing compared to what was happening now. The courtroom was in absolute chaos. Nearly everyone was on their feet, shouting and pointing at whatever it was she couldn’t see from behind several rows of people. Cameras flashed in every direction, the press apparently having decided that catching a glimpse of Emma Duval walking to the witness stand was well worth the risk of being thrown out of court. The court officers had even closed ranks in front of the banister to prevent anyone from jumping over, so Audrey couldn’t see any of what was happening behind them.

Noah leaned over to Audrey and Brooke, his eyes wide as he gawked. “Did you two know about this?”

“No, I…” Audrey answered, completely in shock. “I would have tried to  _ stop  _ her.”

“Of course,” Brooke muttered, shaking her head in disbelief. “That’s where she must have been this weekend. Working with Carmichael.”

Audrey’s stomach sank as that realization dawned on her. While she and Brooke had been completely absorbed in each other, Emma had been speed-prepping with Carmichael, doing all the work that took them several weeks in the span of two days.

_ God _ . No one in this world deserved Emma, least of all her.

The constant banging of the judge’s gavel finally cut through the din, and the court quieted down a little.

“The next person in the gallery who speaks a  _ word _ out of turn will be charged with contempt,” she bellowed, her voice projecting harshly through the room. “There  _ will  _ be order in this court.”

That got the room’s attention, and no one made a peep aside from the quiet shifting as everyone found their seats again.

“Now, then. Bailiff,” Judge Burke continued, satisfied that everyone had settled. “Could you please swear in the witness?”

Audrey watched as Emma placed one hand on the bible presented to her, shining blonde hair falling in gentle curls around her face. She wore a simple blue dress that cut just above her knees and kept a modest neckline. It was pretty enough, but mostly it just made Emma look incredible. It didn’t really leave anything to focus on  _ but  _ Emma, and how young she really was. And now, as Emma finished swearing over the bible and drew her hand back, Audrey realized she was about to publicly relive every gruesome and horrific thing that had happened to her over the past year.

It would have hurt less if someone had come and kicked Audrey in the gut.

“So, Emma,” Carmichael began, coming out from behind her desk to appraise Emma on the stand. “I guess I should start with the question that must be on everyone’s minds. Why haven’t you agreed to testify before this?”

“I– I was scared,” Emma replied candidly, her hands folded neatly in her lap. “I didn’t know if I could handle facing the person who ruined my life while pretending that he loved me, and when you offered to do the trial without my testimony… I took it. I took the easy way out.”

Carmichael nodded in understanding, her voice gentle when she spoke. “What changed?”

“I realized that it wasn’t fair of me to let my friends go through this alone,” Emma replied. She didn’t look toward the three of them in the gallery, but it felt like she’d said it for their benefit—for  _ her  _ benefit. “I realized that we all had to do whatever we could to put Kieran behind bars.”

Emma paused to chew on her lip, thinking. She released a small scoff and rolled her eyes, almost just to herself as she continued, “He lied to me,  _ manipulated  _ me—there aren’t words, really, to sum up the psychopathic, systematic torture he put me through. And on top of that, he took the lives of good people. My  _ friends _ . He... he stole my friends’ futures.”

Emma set her jaw, a cold fury rising to her eyes as she turned to direct her next words at the hand-cuffed form of her serial-killing ex-boyfriend seated at the far end of the room. “And for that, he deserves to pay. To never have the chance to do this to anyone else ever again.”

Audrey got  _ chills _ , her mouth hanging open a little as she watched Emma in utter amazement _.  _ (From the slowly tightening grip of Brooke’s hand on hers, she could tell she wasn't the only one.)

“Alright, then,” Carmichael replied, the smallest trace of a smirk on her lips. “Let’s get started. Could you describe to me, in your own words, the first call you received from ‘the killer?’”

Emma nodded, and sat up a little straighter in her seat. “Yes. I was walking home from Audrey’s house, a few days after Nina’s murder…”

 

* * *

 

Over the course of the next few hours, Emma’s testimony hit the court like an eighteen-wheeler _. _ Even for Audrey, who had  _ been  _ there for all of this, who had witnessed first hand what it had done to Emma, the weight of the trauma that Emma had suffered at the whims of Piper and Kieran sat heavily upon her chest. She couldn’t even imagine how everyone else in the court was handling it.

(She felt  _ awful _ that Emma had to do this essentially because she fucked up, but more than that, she felt proud—proud that she  _ could  _ do this, proud that she was brave enough to stand up to Kieran while the world watched.)

As the day dragged on, Emma’s testimony had more and more of a visible effect on the courtroom. Her answers were more concise than Noah’s, less clinical than Brooke’s, and more sympathetic than Audrey’s could ever hope to be. And the audience was more than responding to it—the youngest juror, a college student who sat in the far corner of the jury’s box, started crying at Emma’s first-hand account of Will’s death and didn’t stop until the end of the day. The judge was turning an ever more distinct shade of green, and even the press, who had previously been hanging on every gruesome detail and posting them online to satisfy the internet’s sick thirst for details (Audrey knew reading those articles was a bad idea, but that didn’t curb her morbid curiosity no matter how much she wished it did), had slowed in their avid note-taking to listen with similar stunned expressions of horror more often than they were writing.

Yeah, she was looking forward to watching Sterling just  _ try _ to weasel his way out of this one.

When the judge finally put an end to the carnage, they still had only made it to the reveal of Jake’s murder. Tomorrow was going to be a good day.

Well. Not a  _ good _ day exactly, but a productive one. Audrey still felt terrible. She might as well slap a name-tag on her own forehead that read  _ “Hi, my name is Judas.” _

But Audrey could worry on that later, because right then she needed to focus on pushing through the crowd to get to Emma as fast as possible even though she had absolutely no idea what she was going to say when she got there. She still hadn’t decided whether she was going to yell at her for testifying or beg for mercy when Carmichael reached out to stop her.

“I know you probably want to talk to Emma,” she said, grabbing onto Audrey’s arm as Brooke followed hot on her heels. “But we should take you to one of the private rooms.”

Audrey glanced at Emma’s retreating form—the bailiff was already leading her out of the courtroom—and then back to Carmichael before relenting, nodding in agreement. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I know I am, come with me,” Carmichael agreed and led them through one of the side doors. Once she’d ushered them inside, she motioned for them to wait. “Stay here, I’ll go get Emma for you.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Carmichael,” Brooke replied, reaching for Audrey’s hand.

And with a nod of acknowledgement, Carmichael was out the door again, leaving Audrey and Brooke alone in one of the non-descript witness rooms. She wasn’t sure where they’d taken Emma, but it was probably a room similar to this.

“I cannot  _ believe  _ her,” Audrey blurted, still torn over how she felt about all of this.

“I can,” Brooke quipped, smirking a little. “You have to admit she did a hell of a job. God, she looked good up there.”

Sure, she looked incredible, but  _ still _ . They had done so much to avoid making Emma testify, and now she’d gone and done it anyway without even telling them. Before Audrey could really point any of this out, however, the door opened and in shuffled Emma.

_ “Emma,” _ Brooke sighed, rushing to her side to give her a tight hug. “Oh my god, I can’t believe how good you were.”

“Hey, guys,” Emma replied, smiling a little sheepishly as she held Brooke close, hand on the back of her neck. “I’m sorry I went missing this weekend. I was, um. A little busy.”

_ “Yeah,” _ Audrey replied, a small ache in her chest. There were so many conflicting feelings inside her that she didn’t really know where to start. “I think we figured that out.”

She reached up to rub the back of her neck, feeling a little awkward now that she was standing in front of Emma. “Um. I should apolo–”

“Audrey, it’s okay,” Emma cut her off, shaking her head. “My mom gave me the flowers. They’re really beautiful.”

“Noah helped,” Audrey muttered with a shrug, giving her an apologetic smile. “It was kind of the least I could do, I wanted to give them to you in person. I  _ am  _ sorry, Emma. I didn’t mean what I said. You are seriously the bravest person I know, and I think you just showed all of us that you are. But why didn’t you tell us?”

“I knew you two would try to stop me,” Emma replied simply, shrugging. “And I knew I couldn’t let that happen. I’m sorry, I had to keep you in the dark. I needed to focus on this before I could help you two.” Emma paused and pulled back to narrow her eyes at the both of them, arms still loosely around Brooke’s shoulders. “Speaking of which… Am I wrong, or did you two somehow make up without my help?”

Brooke rolled her eyes and sent Audrey a smirk. “Let’s just say Audrey is pretty good at…  _ begging.” _

Audrey flushed red and Emma turned to her with eyebrows raised so high they were nearly to her hairline.

“I’m still mad, but Audrey has agreed to spend the next several years making up for it,” Brooke added, scrunching her nose at Audrey. Despite the fact that they’d made up, and even though they were joking about it now, it still seemed like Brooke was holding her at arm's length. Just in case.

“Look–” Audrey tried to explain, squirming under the combined gaze of both her girlfriends.

“Huh,” Emma interrupted, narrowing her eyes at Audrey. “Maybe I need to hold out a little more next time you have something to apologize for. Make you work a little harder.”

“C’mon, _ guys,” _ Audrey protested, feeling like she was about ready to crawl under a chair and hide for the rest of the day. She could  _ feel  _ how bright red her cheeks were. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Mm,” Emma hummed, trying to contain her grin. She finally reached for Audrey, pulling her into her arms as well. She hugged Brooke and Audrey both, holding them tight to her chest. “God, I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about you two fighting.”

Audrey sighed and buried her face in the crook of Emma’s neck, reaching to hold onto Brooke’s waist along with Emma’s. “Yeah, me too.”

“And now you can focus on kicking Sterling’s ass in a couple of days,” Brooke replied, lifting her head to grin up at Emma. “Which I, for one, am very much looking forward to watching.”

Audrey laughed and shook her head, holding them both as tight as she could. There was still a lot of work ahead of Emma, and she still felt awful about that, but she couldn’t deny that Emma seemed to know what she was doing. (And she would make sure to actually apologize later, once they could start focusing on anything other than putting Kieran away.)

 

* * *

 

It was clear early on exactly what Carmichael’s strategy was. By flying through Emma’s testimony, Sterling wouldn’t have any time to prepare for her cross examination. Sure enough, when it was his turn to question Emma, barely two and a half days after she had first taken the stand, Sterling looked  _ wrecked.  _ His hair was still perfectly coiffed, but from the deep bags underneath his eyes, Audrey guessed he hadn’t slept much for the past few days as he had tried to prepare for this moment.

(Not that you’d find her shedding any tears for him.)

However, the quick pace didn’t leave Audrey any time to prepare, either. As it became clear that Carmichael was wrapping up her testimony, the rolling nausea in her stomach grew until it was all she could do to keep from dry heaving. She had  _ seen _ what this guy could do to people on the stand, had experienced it herself, and she suspected he could do it even without the weeks of prep. Emma didn’t deserve any of this, and it was all Audrey's fault that she had to endure it.

Her worry must have shown on her face, because Brooke reached over to squeeze her hand so hard it almost hurt. 

“It’ll be fine, Audrey,” Brooke insisted, slowly rubbing her thumb over Audrey’s knuckles as she held onto her with both hands. “She’s going to do great. She faced down Piper  _ and _ Kieran seconds after finding out who they really were. This asshole’s barely going to be a challenge.”

Audrey couldn't really argue with that logic. Emma truly always had been the strongest of them, the one she’d want by her side in a life or death situation, but that didn't mean Audrey could keep from fretting. Brooke’s reassurances did nothing to stop every cell in her body screaming at her to  _ do _ something, do  _ anything _ to stop what was about to happen.

But the time for that was long past, and all she could do—as she had when Keiran first stepped out from behind the mask, as she had this entire trial—was watch.

“So, Emma,” Sterling began. His normal smirk was long gone and instead he assessed her with a steely glare. “You said you figured out Kieran was the killer because he told you… ‘You will feel safe again?’ Isn’t that, I don’t know, a bit oddly specific?”

“No, it is. I understand that,” Emma agreed candidly, nodding. “But, have you ever known something you desperately didn’t want to realize? Something that, if you knew it consciously, it would tear your life apart? Your brain kind of stops you. I didn’t even want to go down the path of what it meant if Kieran was the killer. But that phrasing was  _ so specific _ —it made me stop, for a second, and I recognized all the evidence I had been ignoring. Like how Kieran was the only one missing when Brooke was stabbed in the movie theater. That he had somehow known I was at the orphanage even though I didn’t tell him. And suddenly… it all clicked, the answer I didn’t want to see—and when I asked him to tell me I was wrong, and he  _ couldn’t _ —that’s when I really knew.”

“I’d still say it’s a little odd, Emma,” Sterling replied, almost snide. “But then again, you’re pretty familiar with what it feels like when your brain is fighting against you, isn't that correct?”

“You could say that.”

“Weren’t you hospitalized for multiple months, this past year, for panic attacks and hallucinations?”

Emma nodded, seemingly unaffected by his question. “Yes, I was.”

“How, then, could you expect all of us to believe anything you’ve said, when you can’t even trust yourself?” Sterling asked with narrowed eyes. There was no attempt this time to be friendly, or to lull her into a false sense of security. His teeth were bared from the very beginning.

But Emma wasn’t backing down, either, and Audrey knew well enough she had teeth of her own. “Because, afterwards, it’s pretty easy to distinguish between what’s real and what’s not. And I’ve had a few months to figure all that out.”

“But that’s not always true, is it?” Sterling replied, raising his eyebrows pointedly. “According to this crime report dated March sixth: ‘Witness Emma Duval claimed to have seen and been attacked by masked killer, even after this report was unable to be verified in any way.’”

“That sounds like what the police would have written down.”

Sterling stared at her, like he was expecting a further response, and Emma stared right back. For several agonizing seconds they glared at each other, like they were playing some kind of bitter game of chicken.

“... Well?” Sterling finally asked, raising his hand to stipulate his point.

“I’m sorry, was there a question?” Emma asked. If it was appropriate to stand and cheer during a federal murder trial, then Audrey very well may have done just so. That is, if she could manage to pick her jaw up off the floor.

Sterling was clearly getting frustrated, too, a small victory Audrey was happy to celebrate internally. “Could you tell whether the attacker on the night of March sixth was real?”

“No, but–”

“So you  _ can’t _ always tell.”

Audrey could see the gears turn in Emma’s head as she tilted her head, narrowing her eyes at Sterling. “...Yes.”

“So you can’t trust yourself, can’t trust your friends—Ms. Maddox and Mr. Belmont both lied to you about the beginning of your courtship with him, your psychology teacher lied to you about her motives for consulting with you—my god, even your  _ best friend _ lied to you about the nature of her relationship with the town serial killer,” Sterling ranted, trying to rail on the any chink in Emma’s rock-solid defense he could find. “Clearly, your aptitude for judgement of character leaves something to be desired.”

“Objection,” Carmichael interjected, almost smug about it. “Counsel is making speeches. Again.”

“Sustained,” Judge Burke agreed, staring down at Sterling over the rim of her glasses.

“So Emma?” Sterling continued, barely even acknowledging Carmichael’s objection. “Can we trust you, when you can’t even trust yourself?”   
  
“Objection,” Carmichael cut in again, clearly annoyed, but much in the same way a person would find a fly inconvenient. “Badgering the witness.”

_ “Sustained. _ Find a new line of questioning, Mr. Sterling.”

Sterling huffed in frustration and turned back to his desk. He shuffled through his documents for a moment in silence while he searched for some other way to explain why Emma’s trauma was somehow a valid reason not to trust her. For the first time in the whole trial, Sterling actually looked rattled. It was stunning, to see this slippery fuck actually lose his cool. It was probably a little early to celebrate, but hell, Emma and Carmichael might actually have the upper hand.

Sterling looked up and turned to Emma again, his brows furrowed. “You’re dating Audrey Jensen now, I hear?”

The barest trace of a smile pulled at the corners of Emma’s lips. It was small enough that anyone who wasn’t Audrey probably missed it. “Yes.”

“The girl you unknowingly rejected for years? Who hated you so badly she plotted with your half-sister to destroy you?  _ That  _ one?”

Emma nodded, again completely unfazed. “Yup.”

“And just how did that come about?”

“Objection, your honor,” Carmichael interrupted yet again. “Relevance?”

Sterling turned to the judge, a barely-concealed edge to his voice as he addressed her. “I’m attempting to establish a motive for this abrupt and, frankly, unfathomable change in behavior.”

“... You’re treading on thin ice, Mr. Sterling,” Judge Burke relented, a little exasperated. “But I’ll allow it.”

Emma turned back to Sterling and replied, as casually as ever, “I kissed her.”

That obviously wasn’t the answer Sterling was expecting, though, and he blinked at Emma in confusion. “You, uh–”

“I kissed her,” Emma repeated firmly. It was almost like she was trying to spell it out to a five-year-old. “And that helped me realize my attractions weren’t exclusive to men.”

Audrey felt like there were about a million eyes on her, and it took most of her willpower to not duck and hide under the bench in front of them. At the same time, though, she also kind of felt a strange sense of pride about watching Emma unashamedly proclaim the status of their relationship for everyone to witness. She had to struggle to hide her smile, and glancing at Brooke, there was a trace of a grin on her lips as well.

Sterling cleared his throat, still trying to find his grounding. “So. Let me get this straight–”

Next to her, Noah had to raise his fist to his mouth so he could hide his snort of laughter as a cough.

"You went from Will to Kieran, and from Kieran to Audrey, with barely time to grieve between each?” Sterling continued, grasping at straws. “Are you really so afraid of being alone that you'll throw yourself at whoever shows you the slightest bit of affection?"

"I started dating Kieran before Will died. In fact, he was  _ murdered  _ the day I told Kieran I wanted a break to figure out my own feelings, so I wouldn't be stringing either of them along,” Emma replied coolly, that tiny trace of a smile back on her lips. “I’m sure that was just a coincidence, though. And Audrey and I got together months after Kieran was arrested for attempting to murder us both. "

Emma let that last statement hang in the air for a moment, her ice-cold gaze locked on Sterling. “So, I guess the answer to your question is no, I'm not."

Sterling clenched his jaw, reaching up to smooth his tie. “And you truly have no reservations about dating the girl who’s responsible for making the last year of your life a living nightmare? None at all?”

“Nope. None at all,” Emma answered, without even a second of hesitation. “And it wasn’t Audrey who ruined my life; Piper and Kieran did that all on their own.”

“Even with the  _ timing–” _

Emma didn’t give him a chance to finish. “Between Kieran and Audrey, I know which one of them came on to me when I was most vulnerable and manipulated me into falling in love with them, Mr. Sterling. And it wasn’t Audrey.”

Sterling took a deep breath, defeated. “No further questions.”

As soon as Sterling had sat down, Carmichael was on her feet again. “Redirect, your honor?”

Judge Burke nodded, allowing Carmichael to ask a few last clarifying questions.

“Emma, you said that on March sixth you couldn’t tell whether your sighting of the killer was real or not. Was there anything different about that night?” Carmichael asked, standing next to her desk.

“Yes, there was. As I mentioned before, I had been dosed with ayahuasca that night, just like the rest of my friends,” Emma explained. “Which, given my medically proven susceptibility to drugs with hallucinatory effects, it kind of makes sense that I couldn’t even tell you where I was for most of that night. It was a unique situation.”

“And were you on any mind-altering substances, prescriptive or otherwise, the night of March sixteenth when Kieran confessed and was arrested?”

“No. I was not.”

Carmichael smiled and nodded graciously. “Thank you, Emma. No further questions.”

Audrey was pretty sure astronauts would have been able to see Carmichael’s smug grin from orbit, if they were looking.

 

* * *

 

With the end of Emma's testimony, the trial was basically over. The defense still had to present their case—and Sterling produced his army of own expert witnesses, psychologists, and forensic scientists to argue why it was possible that Kieran hadn't committed the murders. But honestly, all of that paled in the face of Emma's testimony. There was no way to know for sure until the verdict was read, of course, but Audrey could feel how the opinion of the court had shifted. Everyone else could, too.

One day nearing the end of Sterling’s string of witnesses, Carmichael stopped the four of them on their way out of the courthouse.

“I wanted to thank you, all four of you, for the hard work you've done over these past few weeks,” she told them, smiling fondly. “Let me take you to dinner tonight.”

The four of them, Audrey, Brooke, Emma and Noah, all looked between each other before Emma spoke up. “I think we’d all love that. Right guys?”

“Yeah,” Noah agreed, nodding eagerly. “That would be really nice.”

“It's settled, then,” Carmichael nodded, picking up her briefcase. “I'll make the reservation and meet you there. I assume if I call Brooke with the details she’ll pass them along?”

“I've got you covered, Mrs. Carmichael,” Brooke replied, smiling proudly.

“Good, I'll see the four of you tonight,” Carmichael agreed, nodding to them with a smile as she departed.

“Anyone else glad Carmichael is like… really cool?” Audrey asked, waiting until the ADA was out of earshot. “I mean, just think, we could have gotten someone like Sterling.”

“God, what a nightmare,” Brooke scoffed, peering down at her phone. “I can barely stand watching just one of him strut around the courthouse like the world’s most self-involved peacock.”

“Yeah, it definitely could have been so much worse,” Emma agreed. “She and I… We talked a lot. We really lucked out with her, I think she actually cares.”

“What a concept,” Noah joked, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Hey, do you think I can invite Stavo?”

All three of the girls simultaneously turned to stare at him, their expressions ranging from amusement to Brooke’s distinct  _ “Are you fucking serious, Foster?” _

“Hey, it was just a question!”

“No, I think that’d be great,” Emma assured him, reaching to pat his arm. “Brooke, why don't you ask Carmichael?”

“Ugh,  _ fine.” _

Audrey laughed and shook her head, feeling lighter than she had in several weeks. This entire ordeal had been grueling, and it wasn't over yet, but there was no question she’d felt much better ever since Emma had taken the stand. A few weeks ago she couldn't even imagine just being able to stand around and joke with her friends before the trial was over. It was… nice.

Later that night, Brooke texted them all the details Carmichael had passed along to her, as promised. They were to meet at one of the expensive steakhouses in town at seven,  _ “so put on something nice, babe.” _

Audrey rolled her eyes at the text, smiling to herself. She had a pretty good idea by then what Brooke considered to be “nice,” so for once she didn’t have to stress about what was appropriate to wear.

They all met at the restaurant, Brooke, Audrey and Emma all in one car, while Noah and Stavo drove together separately. (Which Audrey and Emma happily pointed out to Brooke, though that did little to assuage her fears.) Once they were all seated, the five of them with Carmichael, Audrey peered over the menu and tried not to have a heart attack over the price tags.

“What the hell is foie gras,” Audrey muttered under her breath, leaning to Brooke, “and why does it cost so much?”

“It's goose liver, and stop looking at the prices,” Brooke replied, rolling her eyes. “Just get what you want, don't worry about it.”

_ “Goose liver,” _ Audrey repeated, trying not to sound so confused. She glanced around the table quickly to see if anyone else looked as lost as she was. She was kind of glad to see Stavo looked a little overwhelmed as well, speaking quietly to Noah on the other side of the table. “Um. Yeah, I think I'm just gonna get a steak.” 

“Here, Emma,” Brooke said, leaning to show Emma her menu. “There's a selection of vegetarian entrees on this page. The gnocchi is really good here.”

“You're vegetarian?” Carmichael asked, lifting her head. “I'm sorry, we could have gone some place else.”

“No, it’s not a problem at all, it's really okay,” Emma insisted, shaking her head. “It's kind of a new thing.”

“And the vegetarian menu here is actually pretty great,” Brooke added, reaching for her glass of water. “I promise I would have mentioned it, otherwise.”

“In that case, I think we should make a toast,” Carmichael announced, reaching for her own as well, raising it. “To a trial well-fought.”

Audrey glanced around the table before raising her glass along with everyone else, still feeling a little out of her depth.

"Isn't it a little early to be celebrating?” Emma asked, after drinking. “What if we, I don't know, jinx it, or something?"

“I overheard the foreman talking to one of the officers about how she and juror eleven are just counting the days until they get to go back to work,” Carmichael replied with a small grin, almost smug. “That's not what a divided jury talks about over break."

“Wow,” Noah said, impressed. “You really think we did it, then?”

“I think it won't hurt to be confident,” Carmichael offered diplomatically. “It's out of your hands now, but I really don't think we could have asked for these past few weeks to go better.”

(Audrey thought she might be just saying that, considering how her own turn on the stand had gone, but she didn't mention it.)

Just then, a beautiful, dark-haired woman approached their table, wearing a sleek black dress. “I'm so sorry I'm late, babe. I got held up at the office.”

"Oh, the office? Is that what they're calling the Firehouse Twelve these days?" Carmichael asked, smiling as this new woman bent to press a light kiss to her lips.

Audrey's jaw dropped, and she glanced at Brooke and Emma to find similar surprised expressions on their faces. They both turned to her to make sure they were all seeing the same thing, and sure enough–

“Allow me to introduce my wife, Natalie Rashad,” Carmichael announced, turning back to the table as Natalie took her seat next to her wife. “Natalie, this is Emma, Brooke, Audrey, Noah and… Stavo, was it?”

Stavo gave a forced-looking smile and nodded. “Yeah, that's me.”

“So this is the A-team, huh?” Natalie grinned, picking up her menu. “Andy has told me so much about all of you, it's nice to put faces to names.”

“It's really great to meet you too,” Emma replied, still looking a little taken aback by this new information. Audrey assumed she felt similarly to how she did, equal parts astounded and utterly impressed. “Did Mrs– Did  _ Andy _ say you're a firefighter?”

“Yup. My shift ended up going a little long, so I barely had enough time shower and get over here,” Natalie joked, letting Carmichael pour her a glass of wine. “Since, I’ve been told, ash and soot don't really make the best perfume.”

_ “Wow.” _

Audrey blinked, suddenly realizing she must have said that out loud when Brooke elbowed her in the ribs. “I mean– that's just really cool. How did you guys meet?”

Carmichael shared an amused glance with her wife, before launching into a story about an arson case she had taken and how one of her witnesses—Natalie—just wouldn't stop making terrible puns and come ons during witness prep. It was grossly charming and if she hadn’t met them Audrey wouldn’t believe this was someone's actual life.

After the food had arrived, conversation naturally turned to the case they were almost finished with—although still a bit censored for the benefit of Stavo and Natalie since it was still ongoing. They obviously trusted them, but for the sake of Carmichael’s job they had to at least try and follow the rules.

“You know, I just still can't even believe Wilcox is making you all go through this,” Stavo said, shaking his head. It was one of the few contributions he had made all night. “He has to know he never had a chance.”

“Yeah, well, he lucked out with Sterling,” Carmichael muttered, sounding a little sore about it. “He knows what he's doing, it's not the first time we’ve met.”

Audrey felt deeply sorry for Carmichael. She couldn't imagine having to endure more than one trial against that guy.

“Piper must have left Kieran with a bunch of cash or something. It's the only answer I can think of that explains how he could afford a decent lawyer. And I know his dad left him money, too,” Emma replied darkly, frowning. “Besides, the only reason he's doing this trial is just to get to us.”

“What?” Audrey snapped, almost dropping her fork. She stared at Emma, horrified.

“I mean…” Brooke added, setting her hand on Audrey’s knee underneath the table. “Come on, Audrey, wasn’t it obvious? It’s the last chance he has to punish us for  _ winning _ , or whatever.”

“Honestly, from everything I’ve heard, this guy redefines the term ‘sore loser,’” Natalie added, cringing. 

Audrey stared at her plate, down at her half-eaten steak. She couldn't believe she hadn't made the connection earlier, and it made her blood boil. She had played right into his hands, too, with that whole outburst on the stand. She had let Kieran get under her skin.  _ Again. _

“Hey,” Brooke said, squeezing her knee. “We still get the last word on this one, you heard Carmichael. Things look good.”

Audrey drew in a big sigh, knowing this wasn't the time to throw a fit over how much she hated Kieran. She'd save it for later, when she could vent all of her anger onto a punching bag--a real one, this time. “Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I just can't believe things like that still surprise me.”

“That's not a bad thing,” Carmichael pointed out, offering a small smile. “It means that, even after all you've been through, maybe the world hasn't left you completely cynical and jaded.”

Audrey wasn't so sure about that, but she appreciated the sentiment nevertheless. She felt pretty thoroughly fucked up, but it wasn’t like she didn’t have things to be hopeful about. She had Brooke and Emma, and Noah… hell, even Stavo was in her corner. (Kind of.) That was far more than she ever really thought she’d have after she left the witness stand.

Eventually the discussion turned towards college and graduation and other polite topics of conversation. Audrey mostly kept quiet for the rest of the night, but despite the spectre of Kieran and the trial still hanging over their heads, she had to admit that with all these people by her side, she felt more optimistic about the future than she had in ages.


	13. they say you gotta stay hungry pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is actually going to be one chapter split in to two here, mainly because this chapter is long, y'all, but it definitely is pretty much all one long chapter. happy pride month!

Somehow, sitting through Sterling’s defense turned out to be even more exhausting than waiting for her ultimately disastrous turn on the stand. Listening for days as Carmichael and Sterling argued back and forth beside a seemingly endless number of fancy doctors in suits was physically painful when all she wanted was for this to be over, one way or another, so they could move on with their lives. Audrey filled up the little cards she brought to pass notes multiple times a day with her “Better Things We Could Be Doing Right Now” list—it wasn’t hard, as basically anything would qualify, and it was always fun to see which items Brooke would scratch off the list with an offended scowl. However, no matter what she did, she couldn’t change the fact that for over a month now she was forced to dress up five days a week for the courtroom and endure nine hours of inane bullshit.

By the time closing arguments finally rolled around, sometime mid-morning about a week after the end of Emma’s testimony, she was absolutely wiped, and she could tell by the barely-hidden bags under her friends’ eyes that they were all in the same boat. Despite the ever-growing ball of stress in her gut that came alive to do the cha-cha whenever she thought of the inevitable verdict, she couldn’t help but fantasize about all the things she could do with her day when the trial was over. These daydreams weren’t new, of course, but having them finally in reach made them that much sweeter. She and Emma would finally be able to visit Brooke’s house during the daylight hours.

“Audrey. _Audrey._ ” It was Emma’s voice, so it was probably also her hand that had started insistently shaking her arm to pull her from her dreaming. Real dreaming, this time, not daydreaming. “Audrey, wake up, the trial’s over.”

That got her attention. “Wh– Really? Since when?” Looking around, she could answer her own question—about a minute ago, apparently, based on the way the gallery and jury were just starting to trickle out of the courtroom.

Damn. She had slept through all of the closing remarks. She had kinda been looking forward to watching Carmichael stick it to Sterling one last time.

“Did I miss anything good?” she asked, stretching as she turned to Noah and Brooke on the other side of her.

Brooke tapped her foot impatiently as they waited for the courtroom to clear out so they could leave in peace, as they did most afternoons. “Nothing you haven’t seen this whole trial. Carmichael basically just stood up and said ‘duh, convict him,’ and Sterling begged the jury for mercy. That part was almost funny, actually.”

“Guess there are worse places to nap,” Audrey shrugged, standing as she tried to rub the crick out of her neck.

“Actually, I envy your ability to doze off in the middle of the conclusion to a dramatic murder trial that will determine the fate of our lives for years to come,” Noah replied dryly. “It sounds like an ideal time to be unconscious.”

Audrey rolled her eyes at him. “Well, if I could stop worrying about it long enough to fall asleep at _night,_ it wouldn’t really have been a problem, I guess. Hey, thanks for the reminder, buddy!”

“Come on, you two,” Emma cut in, addressing them both almost fondly even as she lightly scolded them. “Carmichael asked us to meet her in the back before we left.”

They all shuffled to one of the rooms in the back to find Carmichael, who looked absolutely wired, running on some mix of adrenaline, anxiety, and optimism that only made Audrey feel more exhausted.

“You did great, kids, seriously,” she told them as they entered, even smiling. “Congratulations again on a job well done.”

“Your closing arguments weren’t too shabby either,” Brooke replied, grinning proudly. “I didn’t even remember half that stuff.”

“Well, it _is_ my job. Now, I don’t know if you remember what I told you about the deliberation phase,” (Why was Carmichael looking directly at her? That wasn’t fair.) “But now we have to wait for the jury to unanimously decide on a verdict, which can take anywhere from a couple hours to a few days. I’m hoping for something shorter than _that_ , obviously, but you can never really know for certain.”

Emma looked between her friends, brows slightly furrowed. “What should we do in the meantime, then?”

“Something fun,” Carmichael suggested, giving them each a small smile, “around here if possible, that you can interrupt immediately if the jury returns. You guys will only have about an hour to get back here when they’re done, so try not to go anywhere far. Other than that? Same thing I do, which is try really hard to distract myself so I don’t think about it.”

“Oh sure,” Noah replied, his voice cracking a little. “Yup. That sounds totally doable.”

“I’ll call you as soon as I know anything, I promise,” Carmichael added. “But right now, I have to go to a working lunch for the next trial I’m scheduled for. Fingers crossed I’ll see you all later today.”

She locked eyes with each of them individually to make sure they understood before nodding once and pushing past them toward the exit. With that, they were left completely alone to try and figure out something they could possibly do to distract themselves for the next however many hours.

Audrey looked between her friends, hoping one of them would have some kind of suggestion.

“Well,” Emma finally spoke up, shrugging. “Why don’t we start with lunch?”

They ended up driving to one of the only good sandwich shops in town, all of them still dressed in their court-appropriate attire. They probably looked a little odd and overdressed, sitting around a picnic table and eating their sandwiches in a grim silence. They were all _exhausted_ and not one of them could figure out what there possibly was to talk about.

Audrey heaved a big sigh, leaning back in her chair as she pushed her empty plate away. “God, what the hell are we even supposed to do?”

Emma shrugged, finishing up the last of her own veggie club. “I mean I guess we could go somewhere and watch movies or something. I’m sure my mom would let us all crash.”

“You know,” Noah replied, narrowing his eyes. “I mean, we could do that, yeah. But I’m pretty sure there’s only like two movies all four of us could agree on.”

“That’s not a bad point,” Brooke added, making a face. “I mean I love you guys, but I’m not sitting through a slasher movie marathon for the next several hours. I think I’ve seen enough of that in real life to last me forever.”

“Fair,” Audrey agreed with a shrug.

“You know what I think?” Noah asked, grinning at Audrey from across the table.

“I bet you’ll tell us,” Audrey replied, grinning back.

“I still have the keys to Nightmare Level,” he told them, a little proud of himself for thinking of it. “We could play video games, watch movies… And there’s three screens, so it wouldn’t really matter if we can’t all agree.”

Audrey looked to Brooke and Emma, shrugging. It seemed like as good an idea as any. This way maybe she could distract herself with a few dozen rounds of Halo with Noah, too. Assuming Brooke and Emma didn’t want to try it, and assuming they didn’t mind them taking over the big screen.

“I think it sounds like a plan,” Emma nodded. “We can always find something else to do if we need to.”

“Cool,” Audrey agreed. She stood and stretched, trying to ignore the ball of anxiety that still sat like a stone in her stomach. “Nightmare Level it is.”

 _“Goody,”_ Brooke deadpanned.

It only took them a few minutes to get to the video game store, which Noah still supposedly worked at, though Audrey didn’t think she’d seen him actually _work_ while he was there in ages. Once inside, Audrey immediately slumped into the big couch in the middle of the room, followed by Emma and Brooke, the latter of whom looked like she was trying very hard not to touch anything with her bare skin.

“You know,” Audrey told her, scrunching her nose. “If nerd cooties were real you would have caught them from me a long time ago.”

Brooke rolled her eyes, giving Audrey a playful shove. _“You_ bathe regularly. Unless you can tell me the last time this thing was cleaned, I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

Audrey shook her head instead of answering, grinning, and Emma shared a fond look with her as she curled into Audrey’s side.

“So what’ll it be, gang?” Noah asked, pulling out a binder from the behind the counter so he could survey the store’s large collection. “Probably something we can all play, right? We’ve got Mario Party, Mario Kart, Halo and Call of Duty if you guys are into that…”

“Probably… not something that involves shooting,” Emma suggested, making a face.

“Just grab Mario Kart, Noah,” Audrey told him, peeking over the back of the couch. “Everybody loves Mario Kart.”

“Mario Kart it is,” Noah agreed brightly, slipping the disk out of it’s sleeve. He grabbed four controllers and came back around the counter to join them.

After several rounds of patented cartoon go-cart racing, it was clear that Emma and Brooke had lost interest pretty quickly. It ended up just being a competition between Noah and Audrey, and Emma actually looked like she might start drifting off. So after Audrey beat Noah one last time— _“Suck my red shell dick, Foster”_ —they decided to pack up Mario Kart and switch gears. Emma half-heartedly suggested a movie, but it was immediately evident that there really _wasn’t_ much they all could agree on in terms of viewing material. So instead, Emma and Brooke both gave up their controllers and let Audrey and Noah switch to Halo to continue duking it out. They curled up on one end of the couch, watching as Audrey and Noah continued their fierce competition, until Emma fell asleep against Brooke’s chest.

Now pinned, there wasn’t a lot that Brooke could do except cheer on Audrey as best she could. Even though she didn’t actually want to play, she did seem to get pretty invested in seeing Audrey repeatedly hand Noah’s ass back to him, and would pipe up with suggestions and point out Noah’s charcoal armor in the distance whenever she could. Audrey couldn’t remember how many times she’d complained about Noah’s choice of bland armor (“It’s tactically advantageous, Audrey, no one can see me!”) but with Brooke on her team, she was nigh-unstoppable. After the fifth victory in a row, she leaned to give Brooke a kiss and a thank you.

They were about to start another round, so Noah could try and gain back some semblance of his dignity when Brooke’s phone started ringing.

“It’s Carmichael,” she told them, a small trace of dread in her voice.

So, this was it.

In the end, it had only taken the jury a little over four hours to decide on the verdict. Carmichael assured them it was probably a good sign, even that couldn’t quiet the biting fear boiling in Audrey’s gut.

Once the court was finally present and seated, a hush fell as the bailiff handed the judge the piece of paper with the verdict written on it. She stared at the paper for a solid thirty seconds, her face betraying no emotion, before eventually looking up and adjusting her glasses.

“Has the jury reached a verdict?”

The foreperson, a petite Asian woman at the end of the front row, stood to reply. “We have, your honor.”

The judge took a visible deep breath before smoothing out the paper and reading in a strong, clear voice, “In the case of the the State of Georgia versus Kieran Wilcox, case number 4-1883-C, in the first charge of malice and felony murder of Jake Fitzgerald, how does the jury find?”

The foreperson hesitated for only a second before declaring to the court, “Guilty, your honor.”

It felt like all of the tension that Audrey hadn’t known she had been carrying since she learned of Jake’s—no, since _Rachel’s_ death—drained out of her body all at once. Brooke collapsed against her, burying her head against Audrey’s collarbone, where she could feel her shirt start to stick against her skin. She might have felt embarrassed at the public display, if she could feel anything besides an overwhelming, staggering sense of _relief_. She wound an arm tightly around Brooke’s waist and on her other side, Emma gripped her hand so hard it almost hurt. Emma wouldn't tear her gaze away from the back of Kieran’s head, grasping Audrey’s hand tighter with each passing second, and Noah looked concerned, like he was almost about to try to intervene.

“And in the fifth charge of malice and felony murder of Zoë Vaughn, how does the jury find?”

“Guilty, your honor.”

That was what broke him, interrupting any thought of trying to comfort the others, as he leaned forward to bury his head in his hands—if Audrey knew him, to hide his tears. She could just barely reach behind Brooke to rub his back in what she hoped was a comforting manner.

The list of Kieran’s charges continued, though they sounded like they were from somewhere far away, until the judge began to read the verdicts for the first round of murders.

“And in the ninth charge of malice and felony murder of Nina Patterson, how does the jury find?”

“Not guilty, your honor.”

It almost hurt, how fast she snapped her neck around to face the front of the courtroom. _How dare they only pin half of these on him?_ She could feel Emma’s nails suddenly digging into the back of her hand, which only served to focus her anger. The judge had barely paused, though, and marched on with:

“And in the tenth charge of accomplice to the malice and felony murder of Nina Patterson, how does the jury find?”

“Guilty, your honor.”

Her breath left her in a sudden whoosh, as if she had been punched. So they could only agree that he was somehow involved in the Piper murders, not that he had actually committed any of them. It didn’t matter, really; he was going to jail for life either way, but he deserved to fry for every sick crime he had inflicted on all of them over the past year.

She turned to Emma to find her smiling apologetically as she rubbed her thumb over the red crescents now clearly visible on the back of her hand. Audrey just rolled her eyes and motioned with her head for Emma to come closer. Emma leaned over obligingly to rest her head on Audrey’s, as she had the day so long ago when they had finally faced Kieran down. By the time they had reached Kieran’s “lesser” crimes—(“And in the twenty-ninth charge of the attempted murder of Emma Duval, how does the jury find?” “Guilty, your honor.”)—even Noah had relented, leaning against Brooke with his head down to join in their impromptu cuddle pile. Brooke responded just enough to reach for his hand as she buried herself further into Audrey’s side.

As far as Audrey could tell, it took almost half an hour to finish reading out Kieran’s crimes. Brooke finally sat up and wiped her eyes, facing straight forward, as the judge asked every juror to confirm the verdict to ensure it was unanimous.

“Very well,” she replied, once the last jury member had confirmed that yes, they were were indeed unanimous. “I submit this verdict to the clerk to be recorded. The defendant is remanded pending sentencing. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the state, county, and myself all thank you for your service. Court is dismissed.”

Kieran’s only reaction as he was led off was to suddenly turn and frantically look over his shoulder throughout the courtroom before he finally caught sight of the four of them. It felt like he locked eyes with her and Emma in particular, and that chilling, creepy grin of his had just started to steal over his features when the guard behind him suddenly shoved him toward the exit, directing him to face forward once again. Audrey shook herself to rid the crawling feeling up her back that she hoped she’d never have to experience again.

“Not to be crass,” Noah said through gritted teeth, “but, honestly, _fuck_ that guy.”

“I don’t mind being crass,” Audrey agreed, glaring at the door Kieran had disappeared through. “And fuck that guy, for the rest of his life, with a fucking chainsaw.”

Brooke stared out in front of her with a blank expression, a red rim around the edges of her watery eyes. “What are we even supposed to do now?”

“Celebrate, I guess?” Noah said, a little incredulous. It didn’t feel real yet, and Audrey had no idea when it would. “Roll credits and the ‘Created by Dick Wolf’ tag line, the bonus trial episode is finally over.”

“I don’t know about you guys, but I want to catch Carmichael before she leaves,” Emma replied, starting to stand. “Thank her for all of her hard work.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll stop her.” Audrey disentangled herself from Brooke’s side as fast as she could to race to the front of the courtroom before Carmichael slipped out. She made it to the front bar just in time to watch Sterling walk over to shake Carmichael's hand.

Carmichael smiled graciously and took his hand, any lingering disdain for her opponent hidden under a veneer of well-practiced manners. “Tripp, as always, it’s been a pleasure.”

“You know we’re going to fight you on jail time over a mental health facility,” he replied, still smiling. It was like he wasn’t even all that bothered by losing, like he’d been playing a game this entire time and their lives were just the chips he bet with.

“I know,” Carmichael agreed, still shaking his hand. There was a cold edge to the way she smiled at him, while keeping up appearances. “I’m not picky, as long as your client doesn’t walk among the rest of civilized society ever again.”

Sterling finally dropped her hand, tilting his head at her with a smug grin. “You know, fair enough. I can’t even blame you. Say hi to the wife and kids for me.”

Carmichael rolled her eyes, turning back to the desk to gather her things. “There are no kids, Tripp.”

“Not _yet,_ anyway,” he pointed out, still grinning as he backed away from her. “Be good, Andy.”

“God, I hate that guy,” she muttered under her breath, quiet enough that Audrey could only just hear her as the four of them approached. Her eyes widened a little as she took the sight of them in, each with red, puffy eyes. “He’s just blustering, guys, don’t worry about–”

Before she could finish, Audrey stepped forward and threw herself into Carmichael’s arms, hugging her as tightly as she could. When she spoke, her voice was muffled against Carmichael’s shoulder. _“Thank you.”_

Carmichael immediately stiffened under Audrey’s tight embrace, but then returned it, if not a little awkwardly. “I– I was just doing my job, Audrey.”

As Audrey extracted herself from Carmichael’s arms, hurriedly wiping at her eyes, Carmichael’s wife approached. She wore a wide, proud smile and waved to the gaggle of teenagers that surrounded her wife like ducklings. “I think we all know you went a little above and beyond on this one.”

“Yeah, well,” Carmichael sighed, perhaps a little embarrassed at being called out on it. “I couldn’t have done it without the four of you.”

Emma shook her head, moving past Audrey to give Carmichael a (much more dignified) hug of her own. “We know, but still. We can’t thank you enough, Mrs. Carmichael.”

“Seriously, it was my pleasure,” Carmichael insisted, giving Emma a tight squeeze, resigned to the fact that this was happening. She gave a tight smile as she let go, addressing each of them. “Now go, celebrate, do kid things! Don’t waste any more of your youth here, I mean it.”

“Yeah, uh,” Noah piped up, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “My parents got reservations at that nice Italian place downtown for all of us and our families? You know, in the event of a win. If you guys are interested.”

“Eh, I guess,” Audrey replied, trying as hard as she could to sound casual. It was kind of hard to pull off when she still had to reach up to wipe her eyes with her jacket sleeves every few seconds. “Not like I had anything better to do.”

She gave him a friendly shove him for good measure, but with enough of a warning not to make fun of her for this later.

Brooke stole a quick hug from Carmichael as well, and Carmichael waved to them all once more as they started to make their exit out the courtroom.

“Oh, and Brooke,” Carmichael called, stopping them before they could get too far. “You have my card if you need help with those law school applications?”

Audrey, Emma, and Noah all turned to Brooke with matching quizzical looks on their faces. Brooke actually blushed as she looked between the three of them before answering. “Uh, yeah, Mrs. Carmichael. I’ll call if I need you.”

Carmichael sighed, shaking her head and smiling fondly. “For the love of– Please, call me Andy.”

“Right,” Broke agreed, nodding eagerly. That blush hadn’t faded even in the slightest as she preened, waving once again. “Bye, Andy!”

They all followed Brooke out of the courtroom, right behind her until they had to stop and wait for their escort in the foyer. Brooke turned to find Audrey and Emma accosting her with simultaneously pleased yet scandalized expressions.

“It came up, okay?” Brooke protested, play it off like it wasn’t a big deal. She tossed her hair over her shoulder, running her hands through it to fix it.

“Sure, Brooke,” Audrey grinned, beyond amused. “We all know how you feel about authority fig–”

Brooke’s eyes flashed dangerously and Audrey snapped her jaw shut. “I can cut you off, you know.”

“And shutting up now,” Audrey relented, raising her hands in surrender, but she still couldn’t wipe the grin off her face.

“It’s okay, Brooke,” Emma replied, leaning against one of the nearby pillars as she tried to hide her own amusement. “Pretty sure you aren’t the only one who noticed how well those business suits fit.”

Brooke’s only reply was a small huff as she turned away from them, leading the pack as they followed their escort outside into the real world again.

They all went home to change and get ready for dinner that night. Which went… much better than Audrey thought it would, honestly. The food was great, and somehow her dad and Brooke’s mom ended up bonding over some obscure Christian monastic book from the thirteenth century. She even managed to limit herself to throwing only two garlic rolls at Stavo’s head before dessert, so all in all, it seemed like a successful outing.

By the time dessert was finished and Stavo and Noah’s families started packing it in, Audrey still felt like she was in some kind of strange alternate reality. She didn’t think she had fully processed everything yet, but maybe it would hit her later. She couldn’t be sure exactly what would happen when it finally did, but for now, chocolate cake seemed like a pretty good placeholder.

Brooke stood after a few more minutes of visiting, along with her mom, and they both started gathering their things. “I have to take my mom to the airport, but call me later?” she asked, looking to both Emma and Audrey.

Audrey straightened in her chair, a little hyper-aware of her dad seated next to her. She’d been more than a little uncomfortable with being in the same room with all of them at the same time since they sat down, but she’d managed to make it this far. “Yeah, for sure. And text us when you get home safe.”

“Always,” she replied with a smile, waving to the both of them as she and her mom moved toward the exit.

“Hey, Mom,” Emma said once they were out of sight. “Brooke offered to let us stay the night tonight. Would that be okay?”

Audrey felt her dad shift next to her and she looked up to find a grave frown on his face. “Tonight? Mrs. Maddox is flying back to Sedona tonight, I’m not sure if it’s a good idea for the three of you to be over there by yourselves.”

Her stomach sank. She had a feeling this would happen when Brooke had brought it up earlier. She actually hadn’t been planning to even ask him, but now it would be harder to come up with an excuse not to be home tonight. He’d only suspect she was going to sneak off to Brooke’s to spend the night with two girls, at least one of which he had to know was… _close_ to her. Yeah, the trial had really made it hard to hide Emma from him, though she was still pretty sure that Brooke was less of an apparent issue.

“Dad…” she protested, knowing it was a lost cause.

“No, Audrey,” he replied sternly. He stood and pulled his keys from his pocket, reaching to pull out Audrey’s chair. “Absolutely not. C’mon, I think it’s time to go home.”

Audrey turned to give Emma an apologetic look, shaking her head. Emma frowned in return but didn’t say anything. She thought she saw Emma’s hand twitch, stopping herself from reaching for Audrey’s.

“Before you go,” Maggie interrupted, standing as well. “I had a question for you, Howard. As a pastor.”

Audrey’s dad raised his eyebrows at her curiously, halfway through putting on his jacket. “Oh, of course. What is it?”

“Actually it’s kind of silly,” Maggie replied with a soft laugh. She shook her head, turning toward Audrey and Emma only for a split second, just before looking toward the door and then back to Audrey’s father like nothing had even happened. “A friend of mine—a co-worker, actually—has been talking to me a lot about how he’s not really satisfied with his life right now. Like he feels like something is missing, you know? I guess I was just wondering how you might approach something like that.”

“Oh, well…”

Audrey blinked at Maggie and her dad, utterly confused until Emma caught her eyes. She watched as Emma bit her bottom lip and then jerked her head, motioning for the door. She managed to keep herself from letting her surprise show as she connected the dots.

“Hey dad, I’m going to go use the restroom,” she said, as casually as she could muster, already backing away from the table.

“Yeah, me too, actually,” Emma agreed as she followed after Audrey. “We’ll be right back.”

Her dad barely even gave them half a glance as he launched into one of his lectures about God and the importance of keeping Jesus in one’s life. She was pretty sure Maggie wasn’t even religious. She’d really have to think of some way to thank her, later.

As soon as they were out the door, Audrey released a breath, and the two of them bolted toward Emma’s car. “Oh my god, what is your mom doing?”

“I don’t know,” Emma laughed, unlocking the doors so they could both slip into their seats. “But I think that maybe she approves of you, or something.”

“She knows?” Audrey asked, eyebrows raised. “Like _really_ knows? About everything?”

Emma pulled the car out of the parking space and steered it toward the road, taking them to Brooke’s house. “Not _everything,_ but yeah, she knows. She asked me about it, the weekend after Sterling questioned you,” she replied, chewing on her bottom lip. “I think she may have had her suspicions even before that, but it was kind of hard to lie to her directly.”

Well, that made a lot of sense. There wasn’t really much to be done about the publicity of her and Emma’s relationship at this point. “And she’s… Okay with it? Us?”

“Yeah, she seemed to take it really well,” Emma told her, a small smile on her lips. She reached over to catch hold of Audrey’s hand. “And she’s always loved you, Audrey. I think she kind of wants to make sure she’s supportive right out of the gate, you know?”

Audrey blinked, a little taken aback by that. It was such a stark difference from her own parental experience, but she of course was nothing but thrilled for Emma. That was kind of the last thing Emma needed to worry about, on top of everything else. “Wow.”

“I know, right,” Emma laughed, squeezing her hand again. “Hey, who knows. Maybe she’ll figure out how to talk some sense into your dad.”

Audrey _seriously_ doubted that, but she wasn’t going to argue. “What about Brooke?”

Emma shook her head. “She doesn’t know about Brooke, yet. I figured one thing at a time was probably best. I’m actually pretty sure there's no way she’d be aiding this little escape if she knew about Brooke.”

“Well,” Audrey replied, pulling Emma’s hand to her mouth so she could kiss the back of it. “I’m really gonna have to thank your mom, later.”

“She likes chocolate,” Emma suggested with a grin.

They swung by both their houses so they could grab clothes and such as quickly as they could, thankfully missing her dad completely, and even after stopping by the store to buy some junk food they still beat Brooke home. Brooke had long past told them where to find the spare key, so they were already set up on the living room couch when Brooke arrived. They ended up spending their first hour together locating the oldest and most expensive bottles of alcohol in her dad’s wine cellar, and the second hour drinking them much faster than the stuffy old white dudes who made them probably intended.

It wasn’t until they were on the third bottle and the fourth episode of America’s Next Top Model that it finally hit them all, almost simultaneously, that this nightmare was finally over.

“I can’t believe it’s really done,” Emma announced, staring up at the ceiling as the last episode finished. “The trial, I mean. We’re never going to have to see him again.”

“Thank _god,”_ Brooke added dryly.

“You know, I genuinely never thought I’d say this,” Audrey confessed, sprawled on the couch with her head resting on the back of the couch behind her. Emma was leaned into her side, under her arm while Brooke laid with her head in Emma’s lap. “But I’m kind of looking forward to going back to school. That trial fucking blew. ”

“Yeah, and the last semester’s already over,” Emma agreed, idly playing with Brooke’s hair. “After this it’s just one more and then... That’s it. We’ll graduate and go to college, I guess.”

“And Brooke’s gonna leave us for some stuffy private liberal arts school,” Audrey added, looking over to Brooke with an exaggerated pout on her lips.

“Hey don’t look at me like that,” Brooke protested, turning and lifting herself so she look up at them both, propping herself up on her arms. “I’m not going anywhere yet.”

“Yeah, but…” Emma replied, reaching up to smooth Brooke’s bangs. “We’re just going to miss you, is all.”

“Don’t miss me before I’m gone, Em,” she insisted with a small shake of her head. She leaned a little closer, so they were little more than a breath apart. “Compared to last year, we have all the time in the world.”

Audrey watched them carefully, almost feeling like an intruder as they stared each other down. It felt like hours, but Audrey knew it had to be barely moments that passed before Brooke leaned forward and pressed a slow kiss to Emma’s lips. Audrey’s mouth fell open, unable to tear her eyes away as Emma reached to pull Brooke in closer by the back of her neck, kissing Brooke with an eagerness that she had experienced first-hand but had yet to witness in such close proximity. Maybe it was the alcohol—all three of them had ruddy cheeks by this point—or maybe it was just the complete feeling of weightlessness in the aftermath of the trial, but it felt like something had changed. Audrey swallowed a hard lump in her throat, shifting a little underneath the both of them as she felt a tug from below her bellybutton.

Brooke’s eyes snapped open, and she looked up at Audrey with a dark, hungry expression. She still hadn’t pulled away from Emma, instead smirking into her lips as she kissed her still. Slowly, she slipped off the couch and out of Emma’s lap, taking both of Emma’s hands as she stood.

“I have an idea,” she announced in a murmur, leading Emma through the door toward the stairs.

Audrey was left on the couch, still attempting to reboot and prod her brain into taking basic commands after witnessing _that_ . It wasn’t until she heard Brooke call her name a few seconds later that she realized no, she hadn’t just imagined it, and that _yes,_ this did appear to be really happening.

 _“Fuck,”_ Audrey swore, scrambling to her feet. She took one last deep pull from the wine bottle on the coffee table before sprinting upstairs.


	14. they say you gotta stay hungry pt. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up the rest of this is porn so feel free to tap out any time, folks

When Audrey got upstairs, Emma and Brooke were already on the bed and tugging at each other’s clothes. It was mesmerizing, watching them smile at each other as Brooke pulled Emma’s old t-shirt over head, leaving her hair a mess as she came back to take another kiss. Audrey could barely think, barely move, as warmth spread over every inch of her skin.

“Audrey,” Brooke mumbled, not even slowing down as she looked up at Audrey from where she’d started to slip off Emma’s bra. “Baby, you’re staring.”

“Fuck, sorry,” Audrey muttered, breathing again. She stepped forward, feeling a little awkward and out of place. “Um–”

“And you’re falling behind,” Emma agreed, a smile gracing her lips. She pulled away from Brooke so she could wriggle out of her underwear, falling back on the big bed.

She had a point, and Audrey really didn’t feel like spending the rest of the night on the sidelines no matter how great the view was, so it was time to get her shit together. She immediately sprung into action, pulling her own shirt off as fast as she could. Getting out of the rest of her clothing was a little more difficult, considering the distracting display in front of her, and she nearly fell over when she caught sight of Brooke knocking Emma’s thighs apart so she could press her hand between them. She clutched onto the frame of the bed for support, her pants only halfway off of her. She completely forgot everything from her name to the color of the sky as she watched Emma gasp and writhe under Brooke’s fingertips.

“Audrey,” Brooke warned again, grinning knowingly over her shoulder at her. “At this rate you’re going to miss it.”

“Yeah, _uh huh,”_ Audrey answered, her voice much higher than normal as she kicked her jeans the rest of the way off so she could crawl onto the bed. “I’m here, I’m here.”

Emma reached for her, grasping onto her arm, eyes still tightly shut. _“Audrey,”_ she breathed, clearly distracted by Brooke’s ministrations.

“C’mon,” Brooke murmured. She leaned forward to catch Audrey’s lips, kissing her deeply before she pulled away to settle next to Emma, pressed up against her side.

Audrey stared at them both for a second, braced above them, smiling to herself. That was all she needed, just a small moment of them below her to lock away in her mind before she bent to press her lips to every inch of skin either of them could offer her. She lost track of where exactly she was, of whose freckles she kissed or whose collarbone she bit, of whose nipple she’d found in her pursuit downward. She circled her tongue around a bellybutton—Emma’s, she realized as she looked up to find the two of them entangled in each other again. She watched as Brooke kissed Emma languidly, slipping her tongue past Emma’s lips. Audrey felt Emma shiver at that and she grinned, knowing it meant Emma was close to starting to beg.

Audrey shifted downward, and settled herself between Emma’s legs. She turned her head to latch her lips to the inside of Emma’s thigh, draping the other over her shoulder. She couldn’t see the reaction she got from that, but she could certainly hear it, a shameless groan echoing from above her. Audrey clasped her hand onto Emma’s hip, on the side away from Brooke, and let her other hand travel up the outside of Brooke’s thigh as she slowly pressed kisses to every bit of skin she could find—except for where Emma wanted it most. Emma was panting already, trembling from the work they had both done, and Audrey looked up to find Brooke had her hand on Emma’s waist, slowly wandering and occasionally passing over her breasts to tease her.

“God,” Emma swore, shuddering. She tilted her hips upward, reaching down to clutch at Audrey’s hand on her hip. “Please…”

Audrey looked up to share a grin with Brooke, who stopped to roll Emma’s nipple between her fingertips. Brooke pressed a kiss to Emma’s dimple, supporting Emma’s head under her arm as she gasped and shook in response.

 _“Please,”_ Emma begged, panting erratically.

Up until this point, Audrey had done nothing but tease her. She’d kissed and sucked and bit at patches of Emma’s skin until she was certain she would be able to see the marks in the morning. But at that last pleading request, she finally relented, smiling to herself as she pressed her lips to the apex of Emma’s thighs.

Emma gasped sharply and trembled, squeezing her legs around Audrey’s head almost a little too hard, like she couldn’t control herself. Audrey started slow, trying to guide her gently to release, but Emma was already riding so high. She panted and dug her nails into Audrey’s wrist, and released what Audrey thought might be a small sob.

“Hey, hey Emma,” Brooke hushed. “Are you okay?”

Audrey pulled back, still holding onto Emma’s hip tightly as she looked up at them in concern. She wasn’t sure exactly when Emma had started tearing up, but her eyes were red and shining now. “Emma…”

“No, guys,” Emma shook her head, reaching up to wipe her eyes. “I’m fine, I promise. I… I like it a lot.”

Emma had never reacted like this before, and guilt suddenly gnawed on Audrey’s stomach. Maybe Emma didn’t want this, maybe they’d taken things too far. Maybe they should have waited a little longer. She looked up at Brooke, worry etched on her face. “Maybe we should stop. Emma, I don’t want to hurt you–”

“No, don’t stop,” Emma insisted, looking between Brooke and Audrey, pleading.

“Let me try something,” Brooke said, sitting up. “We can stop if this doesn’t work, but here… Emma, sit up a little.”

Emma complied, lifting off the bed to give Brooke enough room to kneel behind her. She guided Emma back against her chest, holding her close as she slowly trailed her hands first up and along her arms, and then down her torso. She pressed soft kisses to Emma’s shoulder.

“Is that better?” Brooke whispered, her cheek pressed to Emma’s. She continued to trace circles into Emma’s skin, connecting each freckle and mole with her fingertips.

Emma took in a deep breath and then released it in a shivering sigh, nodding. After a few seconds her breathing had already slowed down and become more regular.

“Okay,” Brooke nodded, slowly taking deep breaths with Emma. “Tell us if it’s too much, okay? We don’t have to do this now, we can go back downstairs and find something on TV–”

“No,” Emma immediately shook her head, grasping onto Brooke’s knee a little tighter. She opened her eyes to look up at Audrey, biting down on her bottom lip. “No, I want this, both of you.”

“Okay,” Audrey nodded, taking a deep breath of her own. Now that she’d had the chance to really stop and think about it, she suddenly realized how big of a step this was, for all three of them. She looked up to Brooke and then back to Emma again, pulling herself a little closer as Brooke continued to soothe her hands over Emma’s skin. Emma breathed deeply, sinking into it.

Audrey watched it all in wonder, as Brooke effortlessly calmed Emma. It was like she had some kind of magic touch, which… Yeah, having been on the receiving end of Brooke’s particular brand of comforting gestures, she could see why it worked so well.

“Good,” Brooke replied, smiling. _“Good._ Just stay with us, here. Now. We’ve got you.”

Audrey reached out to Emma, copying Brooke’s slow, steady movements as she started running her hands along Emma’s legs. She hoped it would help, that it would bring Emma back from whatever brink she’d been on. It looked like it was working, too, from the way Emma bit her lip and tilted her head back to lean against Brooke’s shoulder.

Emma sat up a little, pulling up a little higher on Brooke’s chest. She shook her head with a soft sigh, and opened her eyes to look up at Brooke. “Are you sweet-talking me?”

“No,” Brooke laughed, catching a quick kiss from Emma’s lips. “If this was sweet-talk, you’d know.”

“Seriously, I’m fine,” Emma insisted again. She reached up to tangle one hand in Brooke’s hair, curling her fingers into it. “I don’t know why–”

“Fuck, Emma,” Brooke sighed, nose to her cheek. “Did I ever tell you how hot you look like this?”

Whatever Emma had been about to say, that cut off both her words and her breath. She shivered, dragging her hand up Brooke’s thigh, digging her nails into her skin. Her breath became a little more ragged with each word Brooke uttered, her dimpled cheeks flush.

“Blushing all over, biting those pink, delicious lips…” she continued, smiling as she mumbled against Emma’s rosy skin. “God, it used to drive me insane, watching you get like this around guys.”

Emma’s breath hitched in her throat and Audrey watched as she tightened her grasp on Brooke’s leg.

“Because I always knew I could do better.”

A sharp gasp pushed past Emma’s lips at that and her hips canted forward into nothing. Audrey gaped at all of it in dumbfounded wonder, too scared to make a move herself as Brooke slowly inched her hands lower with each pass over Emma’s stomach. Eventually her hand dropped between Emma’s legs again, passing over her in gentle strokes, easing her into it again. Emma bit her lip, a soft moan escaping her as she tilted her hips into Brooke’s hand.

"Looking for something?" Brooke asked, a small, playful grin on her lips.

That earned her the slightest of glares from Emma, who was far too caught up in what Brooke was doing to her to protest further. Especially when soon enough, Brooke’s fingers were drifting lower, until two slipped into her. Audrey couldn’t do anything but watch with a deep, aching heat burning her from the inside out as Brooke slowly pushed into Emma again and again right in front of her. Hell, it was all she could do to keep herself from dropping onto the bedspread to bury herself in Emma again.

After a few more moments of letting her watch, Brooke looked up to Audrey, who was still perched on her knees between Emma’s legs. She gave a nod to her, signaling. “I think it’s okay now.”

Audrey hesitated, worried that it still might be too much, but then Emma gave another low moan, hungrier this time as she thrust her head back against Brooke’s shoulder. She watched Brooke drag her fingers across Emma’s clit and a shiver ran down her back at the way Emma pushed her hips into it. Okay, _yes_. They were back in business.

Audrey settled onto her stomach again, between Emma’s legs as she pressed ghostly, featherlight kisses to the insides of her thighs. She started slow, cautious, and each kiss brought her only an inch closer until she could replace Brooke’s hand with her own mouth. This time Emma’s hand found her head, fingers curling into her hair. It was comforting, feeling that gentle tug along with soft noises of approval every time she did something Emma liked. She took her time before started working up to a rhythm, all while Brooke whispered sweet words into Emma’s ear. Once Audrey finally wrapped her lips around the sensitive nerves between her thighs, Emma was breathless again. She clutched onto Brooke’s knee as Audrey gently sucked and pulled her tongue across her.

“Oh, fuck,” Emma gasped, tilting her hips up to meet Audrey’s mouth. _“Fuck.”_

Emma hardly ever swore, had been disapproving of Audrey’s foul mouth even since they were kids, so there was something deeply satisfying about causing her to lose her good girl inhibitions. Audrey smiled to herself against Emma’s skin; Emma definitely wasn’t so upset about her mouth now.

She reached up to lay her hand on Emma’s stomach as she dragged her tongue across her again, fingers splayed over her skin. She could tell it was working, that she’d hit the right spot when Emma’s breath hitched in her throat and her stomach tightened and seized under her hand.

“That’s it, Emma,” Brooke breathed. “Just a little more. I want to see you come for us.”

Audrey opened her eyes to look up at them again, and released a soft groan of her own at the sight of Brooke pressed up against Emma, hands on her breasts and teeth to her earlobe. Audrey couldn’t be sure if it was because of Brooke’s words or the hum on her lips, but either way Emma finally tightened her grasp on Audrey’s hair and cried out, arching back into Brooke as she came.

Audrey sighed, kissing along Emma’s hips as she let her come down from the high of her climax. She picked up her head and pulled herself onto her knees again after a few more moments, pulling herself close to Emma and Brooke so she could kiss along Emma’s jaw.

“Fuck,” Emma swore again, her eyes still closed, completely breathless.

Brooke laughed, as the both of them slowly ran their hands along Emma’s waist, bathing her in warm touch.

“Hey, careful,” Audrey warned, resting her forehead against Emma’s temple. “We might have to get you a swear jar.”

“Oh yeah, screw you,” Emma laughed, opening her eyes to playfully shove Audrey off. She was smiling, still enjoying the afterglow, so Audrey was pretty sure she wasn’t too mad about the teasing.

“I’m gonna go get water bottles,” Brooke said, stooping to press a kiss to Emma’s cheek before she slid out from underneath her. “Better stay hydrated if we’re gonna keep this up.”

Audrey raised her eyebrows, a grin spreading across her lips even as Brooke leaned to steal a kiss from her. She was definitely thirsty, but like, leave it to Brooke to think of sex safety at a time like this. “Hurry back.”

Brooke winked as she hurried to grab a robe from the bathroom before she whisked out the door.

After she was gone, Audrey fell onto the bed next to Emma, who immediately turned to mold herself into Audrey’s side.

“Hey,” Audrey said. She reached to push Emma’s hair away from her face, tucking a lock behind her ear.

“Hey yourself,” Emma smiled, and tilted her head to give Audrey a lazy kiss.

“You’re okay, right?” Audrey asked quietly when Emma pulled back just enough to breathe. “I mean, I _think_ you’re alright, but I just want to be sure.”

“I’m alright,” Emma told her, nodding. She smiled and kissed her again. “I’m much better than alright. That was… I don’t really know what happened, I think I was just little overwhelmed by everything.”

“Yeah,” Audrey agreed, pulling closer so she could slip her arms around Emma’s waist. “Yeah, I can imagine. But this… Wow.”

Emma chuckled, settling one of her hands on the side of Audrey’s face. She let her fingertips play with the very fringes of her black hair. “Yeah, it’s pretty insane.”

“I can’t believe we got here.”

“I know. But I don’t regret it. I don’t regret _anything_.” Emma’s eyes darted over Audrey’s features, her thumb edging along her bottom lip.

Audrey’s chest tightened. There were so many things Emma could regret, so much to doubt and dwell on. There was so much that _she herself_ had done to give Emma pause. Audrey didn’t know how Emma could possibly say that, but she also couldn't question it. Emma wouldn’t lie to her about something like that.

In answer, all Audrey could do was pull Emma close and kiss her. She opened herself up and kissed her slowly, deeply, letting go of everything she’d been keeping inside ever since she watched Emma take the stand, every bit of remorse, every inch of pride she felt. Audrey didn’t know what was ahead of any of them, but if she could hold Emma and kiss her like this for another hour or another day or month, then maybe all of it really _was_ worth it.

Barely a moment later, Emma was on top of her, having flipped Audrey onto her back so she could settle above her. Emma grinned down at her, reaching to mess with her hair. “I can’t believe we didn’t even get all your clothes off.”

Audrey laughed, blushing at the way Emma’s eyes dragged all the way down her torso and then back up to meet her gaze again. “Yeah, well. We were busy.”

“Sure,” Emma replied, smiling. She bent to nudge her nose to Audrey’s, reaching to tug at her bra. “But I really think we should do something about that.”

She couldn’t argue with that. In no universe would she even _consider_ arguing with that, not now. So when Emma pulled off her bra and started reaching for her underwear, Audrey lifted her hips and did all she could to help.

Her underpants were only partway down her legs when Brooke reappeared with several plastic bottles of water in her arms. She stopped at the doorway and blinked at them, cocking her head to one side. “You know, I don’t know what I expected.”

“Don't worry, I was gonna wait for you,” Emma replied, tugging Audrey's underwear the rest of the way off.

Brooke laughed and tossed one of the water bottles to Audrey. “How polite of you.”

Audrey sat up and twisted the lid off so she could take a deep, satisfying drink. She offered the bottle to Emma as well, who took it gratefully. She smiled and reached for Brooke, tugging her closer to the bed as she finished up her own drink of water. “Obviously we’d wait for you, you're next,” Audrey pointed out, like it was a given.

“Actually,” Emma replied. She twisted the cap back onto the water bottle and tossed it aside so she could pull herself close to Audrey again. “You know, you've had a really shitty week. Why don't you let us do something nice for you.”

Audrey's eyebrows shot up as the stared back at Emma, opening her mouth to protest. “But–”

“Oh come on, Audrey,” Brooke grinned, kneeling on the bed next to Audrey. “Are you really going to try and turn this down right now? _Babe.”_

Audrey looked between the two of them on either side of her, at complete loss for words. When Emma leaned forward to press her lips just under her ear, Brooke quickly followed suit, and Audrey knew it was a lost cause. It probably was from the start. Her eyes fluttered shut and the two of them started running their hands all across her skin, burning her with their fingertips. “Yeah… Yeah, okay.”

Maybe it was okay if she didn’t put herself last this time.

It was hard to focus on any one thing, she couldn't completely decipher who was touching her where, and all she could really do was reach out to clutch onto Emma and Brooke’s thighs for some kind of grounding. She turned her head to catch Brooke’s mouth in a kiss, all while Emma simultaneously dragged her lips along the hollow of her neck. It was like she was on fire, she felt so warm, from the bodies circling around her and the desire pulsing through her veins. She was already so keyed up that when she felt Brooke's hand dip between her thighs she couldn’t even think to quiet the guttural moan that pushed past her lips.

Brooke nuzzled her cheek, letting her other hand rest at the small of Audrey's back to help support her. Emma, for her part, still kissed along Audrey’s jaw and throat, finding her lips now and again to kiss her proper. Her hand still drifted across Audrey’s chest and stomach, occasionally joining Brooke to tease between her legs. Audrey gasped and shuddered, as each new sensation washed over her in waves.

She felt a tug on her hair, at the back of her head. Emma had grasped onto it, giving her that gentle pull she knew Audrey liked. “That's it, Audrey,” Emma murmured, lips against her ear.

Audrey moaned again softly and lifted her hips into Brooke’s hand, trying to get more friction. She was rewarded with a soft nip at her neck, just as Brooke dipped two fingers into her. It was just what she wanted, precisely what she ached for, and her hips jerked forward into Brooke’s hand almost involuntarily at the contact.

“Fuck,” she whimpered, her head falling back as Brooke started into an easy rhythm. _“Fuck_ me.”

Audrey wasn’t totally sure if she meant it as an expression or an actual request, but Brooke was apparently willing to assume the latter. She thrust her hand into Audrey a little harder, her lips latched onto the pulse point of her neck. Emma was eager to oblige as well, pushing her hand lower on Audrey’s abdomen until her fingertips found the sensitive bundle of nerves between her thighs.

It was almost too much, and she panted and struggled to catch her breath, biting her lip against the harsh groan that broke free from her throat. She leaned against them both for support, Brooke’s hand on her back and Emma’s still cradling the back of her neck. She knew she couldn’t possibly last very long like this, when she had two people she cared for the most surrounding her as her world narrowed to the sensation of her toes curling for purchase against the pressure building deep inside. For so long she’d felt so tightly wound, like a coiled spring waiting for  something to pull the trigger, to release the mechanism that would set her off. When it all finally clicked, somewhere between Emma’s breath hot on her throat and Brooke’s fingers twisting into her just so, she lost everything for a moment, drowning in the pleasure crashing over her as their skin seared onto hers, leaving behind an echo of a sense memory she knew would last as long as she still drew breath.

Audrey wasn’t sure how long it took for the stars to clear from her vision, though the white marks left behind on their skin in the imprint of her hand as she suddenly relaxed her tight grip gave her some clue. She shivered, breathing hard as Brooke and Emma pressed soft kisses to her jaw and cheeks. When the hell had she gotten so lucky? How did she get here? Truthfully, she knew she had a lot to thank the both of them for, but it was all still so surreal. If someone had told her, even a month ago, that this was where she would be, she probably would have died laughing at the absurdity of it. Even through everything, after Emma told her to stay with Brooke and after all of Brooke’s skillful maneuvering, she still never thought they’d actually end up here. It was so much to wrap her head around, she didn’t even know where to start, though now was certainly not the time or place.

She turned her head to catch Emma’s lips in a gentle kiss, then turned again to kiss Brooke the same. They were incredible, and she could never find the right words to say it well enough.

“How was that for a ‘thank you,’” Brooke smirked, a reminder of when Audrey had found the two of them in Brooke’s bed, before the trial had even started. At the time Brooke had said something about thanking her, for bringing the two of them together. Audrey wasn’t really sure if she’d had much to do with that, but she’d gladly accept it if it meant more moments like this.

“That’s probably the most overkill of a thank you I’ve ever received,” Audrey joked with a breathy laugh. She cracked her eyes open, finally letting go of their thighs to let her hands wander over their skin. “But I’m not gonna complain.”

“Good,” Emma replied, winding her arms around Audrey’s waist. She bit her lip, grinning into it. “Because that was… pretty incredible to watch, too.”

Audrey’s skin still felt warm, flush, and it tingled all over the wake of what was probably one of the more intense orgasms she’d ever experienced. Yeah, she definitely hoped there was a lot more of that in the future.

“Here,” Brooke said, handing her one of the opened bottles of water. “Both of you.”

Audrey laughed as she took it, though drank gratefully. It was probably good that someone was thinking of this, considering they _had_ made it through almost three bottles of wine earlier in the night.

“Mm, what would we do without you?” Emma asked, leaning to kiss Brooke as she handed off one of the bottles.

“Perish from dehydration, apparently,” Brooke quipped. She settled back on the pillows of her bed, upright as she nursed a bottle of her own. “Tonight's a marathon, not a sprint.”

Emma laughed as she followed suit, settling next to Brooke. “So I take it you have a plan.”

“Well, I don't know if you could call it a _plan…”_

“But you _have_ thought about it,” Audrey pointed out, a sly grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“Like you haven't. Especially you, Audrey.”

… Well, Brooke wasn’t wrong. Still, it was nice to have confirmation she wasn't the only one who had been contemplating this for a while. Leave it to Brooke to know just how to float the idea without it being even the slightest bit awkward.

“So what did you picture?” Emma asked, looking up at Brooke curiously.

Brooke’s gaze passed between the two of them and she rolled her eyes a little. “It's not like I had anything specifi–”

“Hey, we’re all friends here,” Audrey grinned, crawling over Brooke to press a kiss to her chin. “What do you want?”

Brooke considered for a moment, watching the both of them carefully. Emma had reached up to run her hands through Brooke’s hair, waiting patiently for an answer.

“Okay,” she finally gave in, tossing her empty water bottle aside. She sat up a little, reaching for each of their hands. “In my head, it's Emma, above me pinning my wrists down, and Audrey, you're down there. You know, doing what you do best.”

She stipulated her last statement with a wink, and Audrey grinned. She’d never say she was ungrateful for that particular talent she apparently possessed. Neither Brooke nor Emma seemed to be complaining, anyway.

Audrey looked to Emma with a small shrug, who nodded in return. She was smiling as well, even blushing a little once again. Brooke had absolutely thought about this, or her request wouldn't have been so specific, but it was definitely something they could do.

"Aye aye, captain." Audrey gave a mock salute as she pulled back a little to let the two of them get settled.

“How do you want me to do this?” Emma asked, kneeling above Brooke’s head as soon as she stretched out on the bed. “Like with your arms above your head, or by your side, or–”

"Either," Brooke sighed, her breathing already starting to pick up slightly, her eyes glittering with anticipation. Audrey lowered herself between Brooke's legs, and from what she could see, Emma eventually settled for holding Brooke’s wrists on either side of her head.

"Now just push down a little, like— _god,_ yes, just like that.” Brooke’s eyes had fluttered closed at that as she released a deep sigh.

Audrey raised an eyebrow from farther down Brooke's thighs, where she had been slowly kissing her way up her legs, as Brooke's hips pushed downwards for some type of friction. She could tell how wet Brooke was from their earlier activities, but she’d expected to have to work a little harder to make her start to lose control like this. Apparently, this was really doing it for her.

So she was shifting up the timetable. Audrey could work with that. She smirked a little and hovered her lips above Brooke for a moment, letting her squirm in anticipation before she finally pressed her lips between her thighs.

Brooke gasped softly at that, and Audrey could hear Emma leaving kisses somewhere on the upper parts of Brooke's chest before a rustle, and then– "Is there anything you want me to–"

"Talk to me, Emma,” breathed Brooke, before Emma could finish.

"I'm… I'm not sure I'll be as good at it as you are."

"You'll do fine, Emma, just–" her sentence broke off in a hiss, as Audrey brushed her teeth just past her clit, just enough to make her feel it, and Brooke struggled to come back to her point. "Just… speak from the heart. Tell me what this looks like, to you."

Audrey pulled off a little at that, restricting herself to leaving hot breaths against Brooke's center and licking along the apex of her thighs. Partly because she knew the anticipation would wind Brooke up more than anything else, partly because she was burning with curiosity to hear what Emma would say.

There was a long pause, where all she could hear was the sound of their collective unsteady breathing, before Emma spoke again.

"God, Brooke, I don't even know where to start,” Emma began, staring down at Brooke with her eyes alight. “Every part of you is so beautiful like this. I mean, you look stunning everywhere but this… this is something else."

Brooke made a soft noise of approval, her hips lifting to meet Audrey’s mouth. “Did you ever picture–"

“Shh,” Emma hushed, smiling down at Brooke. She leaned to press kisses to Brooke’s cheeks, hands still firm on her wrists. “Yes. _God,_ yes. After Audrey told me, I couldn't _stop_ picturing it."

Emma bit her lip, her hazel eyes darting over Brooke's face and down her torso to watch Audrey work between her thighs. "I used to feel so guilty, touching myself and imagining what you two would look like like this. Her head between your legs, how you would move, how it would feel if it was me getting to taste you.”

Audrey could still hear Emma, even if just barely, and at that she pulled back slightly to bite at the inside of Brooke's thigh, to emphasize the point of Emma's mental image. And it worked beautifully—turning Brooke's erratic thrusting into a sudden full body shiver. _Damn._ When they teamed up, she and Emma were practically a pair of sex gods—though, she couldn't stop to congratulate herself before the finish line.

"It feels silly, now, to think about it,” Emma continued in a husky whisper. “My imagination could never do this justice. The noises you make, the way you're writhing under us to chase your own relief, even now–"

Brooke cut her off with a sharp moan as Audrey reached between her legs, sliding two fingers into her as she kept her lips wrapped around her clit. Even as Audrey swirled her tongue around her once again, she could see Brooke fighting a little against Emma’s restraints, panting.

"And that first time at school, _god,”_ Emma continued, grinning at the reaction they were getting from Brooke. “I could have never have known how right you would feel, how you would know all the right ways to touch me—and trust me, I tried to imagine it. Many times."

Audrey had never heard Emma's voice this low, this rough, and just the sound of it sent shivers down her spine all the way to her gut, and–okay, yeah, another round was definitely gonna be necessary after all this. Emma bent to kiss Brooke again, lingering on her lips before she pulled back barely a breath away. "But what's most overwhelming, and most special, is that I'm lucky enough to be able to get this from you Brooke. To be able to share every part of me with my best friend, who's always been there for me…” Emma was watching Audrey again, breathing a little faster herself just watching what Audrey could do from a totally new perspective. "If I could have picked anyone to do this with, it'd be you two. Really. I don't want anyone else."

Emma pulled both of Brooke’s arms above her head so she could pin them both under one hand. That left her other hand free, and she immediately reached to start tracing lines along Brooke’s lips and jaw. "This past year has been… awful beyond description. But if going through it means I'll get have you, both of you, like this for the rest of our lives, I think somehow, it'll have been worth it."

Audrey had slowed to a steady pace to match Emma’s words, carefully coaxing a release out of Brooke. She sucked on her skin and curled her fingers inside her, against the sensitive spot in front, and she was rewarded when Brooke finally released a long, drawn out moan and bucked her hips against her mouth. Audrey licked and pressed gentle kisses to her skin, letting Brooke ride her fingers through the length of her climax. Above her, she saw Emma kiss Brooke slowly and then pull back just a little to wipe a few tears from Brooke’s eyes.

Brooke breathed a big sigh and took a moment to bask in the aftermath of her climax, a smile on her lips. When she finally opened her eyes, she looked straight up at Emma and grinned. “God, Emma, that was– just get down here."

Emma smiled and bent to kiss her, but Brooke instead grasped at her hips and started pulling them up toward her face. It clicked for Emma and Audrey almost simultaneously, what Brooke wanted to do next. _Yeah._ That was an image—and a night—she wasn't going to forget any time soon. By the time they were finally done, curled up in each other under the covers of Brooke’s massive bed, Audrey had discovered how Emma tasted on the inside of Brooke’s mouth, and she knew that she could have just this for the rest of her life and it'd be more than enough.


	15. now your mess is mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're publishing two chapters in one night because we're REALLY SORRY and also we finally hit the word count button on part 3 (aka everything after the trial) and it's already at 30,000 words, so we gotta pick up the pace if we're actually gonna publish this within a year.
> 
> hold on tight, yall, we still got a little ways to go. <3

The first thing Audrey noticed when she woke up was how warm she felt. If she didn’t know better, she would have said that she woke up inside an incredibly cozy cocoon. It probably had something to do with all the blankets, she realized, much thicker than the ones she kept on her own bed.

And also, possibly, the two very naked girls next to her.

All at once, the previous night’s events came back to her, blasting her with image after image of how she had spent the evening with Brooke and Emma. Every moment seemed burned to the back of her retinas; she could still vividly recall every taste and sound. She felt a deep ache in her bones, the kind that only came after countless hours of pretty incredible sex, if she did say so herself. That pleasant ache was accompanied by a small headache too, since they _did_ drink more wine than any teenager probably ever should, but that was far overshadowed by the sudden rush of euphoria washing over her.

_“Holy shit.”_

The words escaped her in a breath before she could stop them, and Emma groaned softly next to her, tightening her arms around Brooke’s small frame. She shifted and turned to look behind her shoulder at Audrey, her eyes still heavy-lidded with sleep. “Maybe that swear jar isn’t such a bad idea.”

“Sorry,” Audrey whispered, giving her a crooked grin. She tilted her chin up and caught Emma’s lips in a soft kiss. “I didn't mean to wake you with my _foul language_.”

“I suppose I can forgive you,” Emma replied, shifting a little so she could reach up to touch her hand to Audrey’s cheek. “You okay?”

“Considering recent events… Yeah, I’d say I’m doing alright.”

Emma chuckled lightly, and stole another swift kiss. “Good.”

“That’s a little bit of an understatement, don’t you think?” Brooke interrupted in a sleepy rasp, still tucked under Emma’s chin. She peeked an eye open to peer at the both of them, a trace of a smirk on her lips.

“Morning, sunshine,” Audrey grinned. She bent over Emma’s shoulder to capture a kiss on Brooke’s lips as well. “Sleep well?”

“After I finally convinced you that we should sleep _sometime_ , you mean,” Emma pointed out, stretching.

“Yeah, I don’t actually recall that much sleep happening,” Brooke agreed. She sat up, grinning down at the both of them with bright eyes until she bent to steal a kiss from Emma too.

“Can’t say I’m complaining,” Audrey added. “I mean, in case anyone’s wondering how I feel about… That.”

Emma flipped onto her back so she could more easily look up at Brooke and Audrey. She bit her lip, considering the both of them. “Brooke?”

“I think you both look really incredible in the morning,” Brooke replied, the grin on her lips growing wider. “No regrets here.”

Audrey propped herself up on one elbow, raising a questioning eyebrow at Emma. She knew that look. “What are you thinking, Em?”

“I think we should date,” Emma said without preamble. She reached for both Brooke and Audrey, running her fingers over their skin. “The three of us.”

Audrey looked up at Brooke, trying to gauge her reaction before she turned back to Emma. “You mean, like… Officially?”

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “I mean, as much as we can. I don’t know if we can update our facebook statuses, exactly, but…”

“No, you’re right,” Brooke agreed. She breathed a sigh, a softer smile on her lips as she leaned into Emma’s hand. “People might not understand, but I don’t care. We’ll figure it out.”

So much weight had lifted off Audrey’s shoulders just in the past twenty-four hours that she was amazed how much lighter those words could make her feel. She had never thought this could be real, that Emma and Brooke would even consider they could do this. She was almost certain she never would have brought it up herself, either. Truth be told, she’d already kind of been thinking of the three of them that way for a while now. The only thing that had really been missing, at least for her, was the official part.

She sat up and reached for Brooke’s hand, pulling it to her lips so she could kiss her knuckles. “Count me in.”

Emma sat up, biting down on her bottom lip, a grin behind it. “I can’t believe I figured out I’ve been gay this whole time less than six months ago and now I have not one, but _two_ girlfriends.”

“Yeah, well,” Brooke laughed, reaching to fix Emma’s bedhead mess of hair. “I don’t think I’ve ever known you to take things slow.”

“She’s not wrong,” Audrey agreed.

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” Emma laughed, shaking her head. “We haven’t even been officially dating for a whole minute and you guys are already ganging up on me.”

“I’m pretty sure we already did plenty of that last night,” Audrey quipped, grinning slyly. “I mean, we could show you again. You know, if you’ve forgotten what it looks like.”

 _“Jesus,_ Audrey,” Brooke laughed. She picked up one of the pillows on the bed and threw it at Audrey’s head. “Give the girl a break, not everybody can keep it up as long as you.”

“Oh please, I know _you_ can, Brooke,” Audrey pointed out, after snatching the pillow out of the air before it could hit her.

“We should at least eat breakfast,” Emma agreed, sending Audrey a fond look. “And no, that’s not a euphemism.”

 _“Fine,”_ Audrey sighed dramatically, like it pained her. “But I know what I want for dessert.”

Brooke rolled her eyes, finally slipping out of bed. “Literally no one has dessert after breakfast. That's not a thing.”

Audrey grinned as she watched Emma follow after Brooke, the both of them finding something meager to wear so they didn’t have to cook breakfast naked. Audrey would have been just fine with that, but, realistically, they would have just been cold. She watched them for a moment longer, tucking away this memory somewhere deep and safe in her mind, before getting up to join them, grabbing her underwear from the floor and throwing on the first shirt she could find.

 

* * *

 

They made pancakes, the three of them working together in the kitchen, and Audrey wasn’t sure if Brooke had purchased especially high-quality pancake mix or if it was because she was eating them with her newly official girlfriends, but she could have sworn they were best pancakes she’d ever tasted. She wouldn't have been able to tell what their table conversation was about (all she remembered when she thought about it later was the shy, giddy grins they couldn’t wipe off their faces at the idea of finally becoming what it felt like they had meant to be all along), but when they finished, Audrey didn’t even feel like complaining about having to do the dishes.

“Hey, if it’s okay, I think I’m going to take a shower,” Emma said as she helped clear off the table.

“Yeah, of course,” Brooke replied, turning on the faucet so she could start rinsing off dishes. She turned to throw a quick wink at Audrey. “We’ve got this, right Audrey?”

Audrey grinned back at Brooke before looking to Emma again while joining Brooke at the sink. “Yeah, go ahead. If anyone deserves to take it easy it’s you, Em. We’ll clean up.”

Emma rolled her eyes a little, kissing them both on the cheek before turning toward the stairs, calling behind her, “Just try not to get too distracted, alright?”

“I don’t know what she could possibly be talking about,” Audrey said, turning to Brooke with a serious expression.

“Uh huh,” Brooke grinned, taking a washcloth to the small pile of dishes in front of her. “Let’s just try to get these all in the dishwasher before you start getting handsy.”

“Hey, I can keep my hands to myself.”

“Prove it.” Brooke held a plate out to her pointedly, nodding toward the dish washer.

Audrey took the plate from her, trying to hide her grin as she puffed out her chest in defiance. “This is silly.”

Brooke just shrugged as she started work on the next plate to hand off. “Hey, if it works…”

Even though Audrey knew she was playing right into Brooke’s hands, she was now determined to get every plate and knife and fork into the dishwasher before she even thought about touching Brooke. It was a matter of pride, even if she couldn't completely smother the constant temptation to hoist Brooke onto the counter for another round instead of finishing the dishes.

She managed, however. Once all the dishes were put away and the dishwasher started, Audrey rounded on Brooke with a glint in her eye.

“See, that wasn’t so hard,” Brooke told her, her voice a touch lower than normal. She hopped onto the counter behind her, leaning back on her hands.

“You’re right, it wasn’t,” Audrey said, immediately approaching and stepping between her knees, the next step in a dance technically new but which felt as though she’d done a thousand times before. She refrained from touching her, however, instead simply letting herself be in Brooke’s space, to savor the feeling.

“What, are you looking for a reward now?” Brooke asked, reaching up to set one of her hands at the base of Audrey’s collar, a smirk pulling at her lips.

“I wouldn’t say no,” she replied as casually as ever, as if heat wasn’t already pooling in her abdomen, as if she didn’t already feel dizzy and breathless, as if Brooke wasn’t pulling her in, grounding her to the here and now, as she somehow always did.

Brooke grinned wider and pulled Audrey in by the scruff of her neck, kissing her slowly.

A sigh escaped past Audrey’s lips as she leaned into the kiss, finally giving in to the urge to grasp onto Brooke’s waist and pull her closer. There was no rush, no urgent need to hurry things along, especially when it was still morning and they had all day ahead of them with each other, just the three of them.

They kissed like that long enough for the dishwasher to start its next cycle, and just as Audrey started to sneak a hand up the back of the loose tank Brooke had on, Brooke pulled back and pressed fingertips to her lips to stop her.

“Do you hear that?” Brooke asked, her brows furrowed.

Audrey’s lips were still slightly puckered, and she barely moved as she listened intently for whatever it was that had caught Brooke’s attention. “Besides the dishes? I just hear the shower going upstairs.”

“Exactly,” Brooke replied, gently pushing Audrey back so she could hop down from the counter. “Emma never showers this long, it’s been over half an hour.”

It was possible Emma was just taking a longer shower than normal, but she had to admit that Brooke was right. She couldn’t remember the last time Emma spent any more time than necessary in the shower. She should have at least been out by now. “Do you think we should check on her?”

Brooke worried her bottom lip, looking unsure. “I mean, yesterday was a really big day for all of us, but her… The whole month had to have been hell.”

“Yeah,” Audrey agreed, starting to feel anxious herself. “She could just be taking extra time, but…”

“Just in case?”

Audrey nodded, more sure of herself. Everything was probably fine, but she couldn’t help but think in worst-case scenarios nowadays. Here’s hoping that Emma hadn’t slipped and become a depressing statistic about showers being more dangerous than airplanes while she was busy making out with Brooke downstairs.

She followed Brooke upstairs at an urgent pace, though they managed to keep from outright running. They stopped at the door to Brooke’s connected bathroom, and shared a worried look before Brooke rapped softly at the door.

“Emma?” Brooke called, ear turned toward the door so she could better hear. “Is… everything alright in there?”

When there was no answer Audrey shared another, slightly more panicked, look with Brooke. She stepped closer and knocked a little harder. “Hey, it’s just us. Are you okay?”

This time, when no answer came, all bets were off, and Audrey cranked the door handle so she could push through into the bathroom, looking around wildly.

Emma was there, still in the big square shower stall, sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest.

 _“Emma,”_ Brooke gasped, rushing forward to pull open the glass door with Audrey right behind her.

Audrey didn’t even give a second thought to the fact that they were still wearing clothes. She and Brooke both stepped into the steady stream of water to drop next to Emma, arms wrapping around her from either side.

“I’m s-sorry,” Emma said, shaking her head. Audrey could see now that she was crying intensely, maybe harder than she’d ever witnessed before. Seeing her like this cut deeper than Piper’s knife ever could.

“No no, Em,” Audrey hushed her, shifting closer. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“You don’t have to apologize to us,” Brooke added, arms tight around Emma’s shoulders.

“It’s just–” Emma started again, cut off by another sob. “It’s _over._ All of it. It’s all really over, and I’m… I’m still here.”

Audrey stared at Emma gravely, not sure what to say. She couldn’t know exactly what Emma was feeling, but she had an idea. ‘Overwhelmed’ was a word that didn’t even come close.

“All I can think is that… this is how it felt the first time,” Emma continued, her voice quiet. She laid her head against Brooke’s chest, staring at a spot on the wall ahead of her.

“It’s real this time,” Brooke told her, slowly grazing her fingertips along Emma’s arms.

“I keep telling myself that.” Emma shook her head, closing her eyes and letting heavy tears fall from her cheeks. “But even if it is, I… have no idea what I’m supposed to do, now. Is this who I’m going to be for the rest of my life? What’s left of me? I’m… I’m not anyone, anymore.”

“Of course you’re someone,” Audrey insisted, close enough that she could touch her chin to Emma’s shoulder, her forehead to Emma’s temple. “You’re Emma, and you’re not alone, and you don’t have to do _anything.”_

“I’m never going to see Kieran again,” Emma said, barely more than a whisper. “And I don’t know why I’m crying about it.”

“Because it feels big,” came Brooke’s soft answer, her cheek to the top of Emma’s head. “God, I can’t even imagine it, Emma. How it must feel. And you’ve been so strong, this whole time. If anything we’ve been leaning on _you,_ and you never faltered.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re allowed to cry, Em,” Audrey added, pressing a ghost of a kiss to her shoulder. “And now that there’s no… pressure, no obligations, nothing breathing down your neck… You know, I would have been crying a lot sooner than this.”

“It’s the first time I’ve been alone for more than five minutes since yesterday.”

“Do you… need that?” Audrey asked hesitantly, not sure what the right answer to that question was.

“No, god, please don’t go,” Emma begged, grasping onto Audrey’s arm. She shook her head, looking up at them for the first time. “I mean… I’m gonna have to work this out eventually, but I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Then we’ll stay,” Audrey agreed, nodding. She reached for Emma’s hand, squeezing it tightly.

“And you know you can stay here as long as you want, Em,” Brooke added. “You don’t have to ask. Whatever you need.”

Emma sucked in a deep breath, nodding as she leaned into Brooke again. They stayed like that for a few moments longer before she spoke once more. “We should get out before we all freeze under this water.”

“Probably,” Audrey agreed.

“Maybe put on clothes,” Brooke added.

“Or at least something warmer than underwear,” Emma laughed. She lifted her head, turning to them both. “Thank you.”

“We’re always going to be here for you, Emma,” Audrey told her, squeezing her hand again. “No matter what.”

“Since we’re all in here now, Audrey and I can wash up and then we’ll put sweatpants on and do nothing all day,” Brooke added, kissing Emma’s temple.

Audrey stood and helped the other two up. They were all drenched by this point, and Brooke reached to turn the heat up a little so she and Audrey could shower as well before the water ran completely cold. Emma still didn’t want to be alone, so she stayed, and then they dressed and spent the rest of the day in a pile on Brooke’s couch watching shitty TV and ordering takeout. Audrey still found herself checking in on Emma periodically, in a way that merited eyerolls from both her girlfriends by the time they hit the evening lineup of HGTV, but all things considered, it was one of the best days she’d had in a long time, possibly in her entire life.

 

* * *

 

“‘Sup, bi- _furious_ ,” Noah greeted as Audrey bounded down the stairs to the basement of his house. He turned away from the TV in front of him to send her a quick nod hello.

“How’s it going, _ex_ -virgin,” Audrey replied, flopping on the couch next to him. His mom had let her in and it was easy enough to follow the sounds of video game violence and find him downstairs.

“Oh, you know,” Noah said, turning back to _Fallout 4_ where he was currently squaring off with a group of super mutants. “Just enjoying another day free of murder and mayhem in good ol’ Lakewood. How ‘bout you? How are Emma and Brooke?”

Audrey heaved a big sigh, a crooked grin splitting her lips. “You know, it’s not so bad, Foster. I mean, Emma’s been taking it easy, as you can imagine, but overall… Yeah, things are alright.”

Noah paused his game so he could narrow his eyes at her. “You’re looking awful pleased with yourself. What happened, your dad miss his flight back home from Boston?”

“God, no. I _wish,”_ Audrey complained, rolling her eyes.

“Then what is it? Unless you’re just here to gloat vaguely.”

Audrey pursed her lips, considering carefully before she decided Noah was going to figure it out eventually anyway. “Well. You know me, and Brooke, and Emma.”

“Why yes, I do happen to know the three of you.”

“No, I mean,” Audrey replied, shaking her head. “You know about _us.”_

Noah narrowed his eyes at her again. “Uh-huh…”

“Well, it’s official now,” she clarified, smiling even wider. It was insane how just thinking about it made her feel light all over. It felt so _right._ “Like really official, all of us. We’re dating.”

Noah blinked at her, confused, his head cocked to one side. “But…”

“Oh come on, Noah, it’s not that hard to figure out. Don’t tell me you didn’t see it coming.”

“No, it’s not that,” he shook his head. “I just– I thought you were already dating.”

“Well, I mean,” Audrey answered, shrugging. “Kind of? Like I was dating Brooke, sort of, and then I was dating Emma. And then they were at least kinda dating each other, I think? But it wasn’t really like… an all three of us thing until this week.”

“It wasn’t?” Noah asked, still confused. “Cause like… it definitely looked that way through the whole trial, at least to me. I don’t know if anyone else picked up on it, but I thought for _sure_ – _”_

“God, I _hope_ no one else picked up on it,” Audrey cut him off, suddenly a little horrified. That was the last thing they needed, a group of tabloid reporters set on depriving them of what little privacy they had. “You don’t think–”

“No,” Noah immediately shook his head, brows furrowed. “I don’t think so, anyway. I mean, I could see it because, well. Because you’re my best friends, and even though I know none of you did it on purpose, I’m pretty sure I’ve never felt so distinctly like a fourth wheel before.”

Audrey made an apologetic face, suddenly realizing the position they might have put Noah in. “Shit, I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, honest,” he promised, holding a hand up. “We had bigger things to worry about. It’s just… I guess I really thought you guys were already there. I googled ‘polyamory’ and everything to make sure I didn’t say something stupid or offensive on accident, I wanted to support you guys.”

That was… really sweet, actually. Sometimes Audrey honestly didn’t know what she did to deserve Noah in her life. She smiled fondly, reaching her foot over to give him an affectionate kick. “We appreciate it.”

“But it’s official now, huh?” Noah asked, smiling back at her. “Audrey, that’s incredible. Is that what you guys were up to after dinner the other night?”

“Hey.” Audrey raised her hands defensively. “A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.”

“I guess it’s a good thing you’re not a la– _ow!”_

Audrey rolled her eyes as Noah scampered all the way to the other side of the couch to escape her righteous pinches. “Don’t be an asshole. Besides, you’ll notice I still haven’t asked about what you and _Stavo_ got up to that night.”

That immediately shut Noah up. He straightened and stared at Audrey while she waggled her eyebrows at him, and then he turned back to the television to un-pause his game so he didn’t have to justify her with an answer.

“Uh-huh,” she grinned, leaning back on the couch and kicking her heels up. “That’s what I thought.”

 

* * *

 

Audrey sat in the passenger seat of Emma’s car, eating strawberry frozen yogurt out of a styrofoam cup as slowly as she could in the hopes of killing more time. She had suggested grabbing it before they went to Emma’s house after school and thankfully Emma had agreed; anything to put off another inevitable awkward conversation with Maggie was a win in her book. She was slightly disappointed that Brooke couldn’t join them, as she was busy down in Atlanta for her Columbia interview. She had been gone all day, and Audrey and Emma both felt her absence. Now that they were all official, it stood out a lot more when one of them wasn’t there.

“Hey thanks for the froyo,” Audrey said, licking her spoon clean with a smirk, trying to make conversation. “It’s a good excuse to avoid having to look your mom in the face.”

Emma looked up at her strangely, a curious smile on her lips. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Come on,” Audrey laughed. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that she’s been looking at me differently ever since the trial. Like she’s sizing me up, or something.”

“Oh, _that,”_ Emma chuckled, turning back to her own yogurt. She hadn’t made nearly as much progress as Audrey had, but then again, Audrey went through food like a garbage disposal sometimes. “Yeah, well. She probably feels like she has to treat you differently, now.”

Audrey watched Emma carefully, her spoon scraping the bottom of the styrofoam cup. “Did she do that with– with Will too?"

Emma sighed, still focused on the cup in her own hands. "Yes, actually. I mean, she liked him well enough at the time, but she was still a mom, you know?” She smiled a little wider, shaking her head. “God, I remember this one time she walked in on us making out on the couch, and Will basically jumped off of me and launched across the room. My mom gave him such a hard time after that. I’m pretty sure most of it was just to make him squirm.”

“Yeah, well.” Audrey replied, smiling fondly. “I can’t say I really blame her. I would have given him shit, too. Probably without any of your mom’s subtlety.”

Emma gave a small laugh at that, still staring at her nearly untouched frozen yogurt. Audrey suddenly realized Emma wasn’t really eating. She hadn’t even really spoken to her since they got in the car, either. Maybe she shouldn’t have brought up Will.

"What's up? Froyo not fro enough?” Audrey tried, desperately trying to make a stupid joke, something to make Emma smile. “Not enough gummy bears this time?”

“It's not that,” Emma replied, sending her an apologetic glance. “I guess I’m just thinking. We haven’t really been alone since... everything.”

Audrey furrowed her brows, a small pout on her lips. “Is that… bad? Am I making you uncomfortable?”

Emma turned to level her with an intense look. “After that night you blew up at Brooke? Yeah, a little.”

Audrey balked, sudden panic rising in her chest. She didn’t think Emma was still mad about this; she thought they were good. She thought it was just Brooke she was still apologizing to, but obviously that was yet another mistake. Then again, she never did fully apologize to Emma, not really.

“Emma, I'm… so sorry. About all of it,” Audrey said quickly, jumping straight into full groveling mode. “I know I never really apologized to you, but… I'm _really_ sorry, I didn't mean it, any of it, you have to know that."

“I know. I mean, I appreciate it, but… how many times have you apologized to me, Audrey?"

Audrey didn’t know how to respond to that. She gaped at Emma, trying to think of something she could possibly say, because she knew the honest answer was “too many.”

Emma stared at her, taking her silence as the answer that it was. “Even just since we started dating?”

“Emma–”

“God, you know, it would probably be easier if you really _had_ meant any of what you said to Brooke. To me.” She shook her head, finally giving up on the frozen yogurt. She set it in the cup holder between them, instead running a hand through her hair in frustration. Finally, she turned back to Audrey, brows knit together. "What _happened,_ Audrey? Why did you–"

 _“I don’t know!_ I don't know, okay?” Audrey snapped, squeezing her eyes shut. She gripped the foam cup in her hands hard enough that it crumpled a little. “I felt awful about messing up the trial and almost letting Kieran go free. When I woke up on Brooke’s couch, I heard your voice in the kitchen and I knew I’d have to explain everything and… I panicked."

“And so you… what? Threw all of the most hateful things you could think to say at us?"

 _“I don’t know,”_ Audrey repeated, practically begging Emma to stop. A familiar sting pricked at her eyes and the car floor felt unsteady beneath her feet. “It was like all this shit had been building inside me, for months, since everything started, and with all the trial crap that happened that day I finally just snapped."

Emma sighed, turning to stare straight ahead, her hands on the steering wheel. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

A moment of silence passed, and Audrey felt sick. All of the frozen yogurt she’d just consumed sat heavily in the pit of her stomach.

"Audrey, you need to go to therapy."

“I _have_ been going to–"

 _“No.”_ Emma stopped her, shaking her head. _“Real_ therapy, not that religious wackjob your dad sent you to after you punched the first guy."

Audrey opened her mouth to say something, but then stopped because there literally wasn’t anything she could say to defend that. Emma was right, anyway.

“I know we keep saying that it's over,” Emma continued, softening her tone, “but what was it Noah said back at the memorial? 'For us, it's never over?' He's _right._ We have all these scars, most of which you can't even see, from everything we went through. And you can't just keep hoping they'll heal and go away on their own."

There was a petulant voice inside Audrey that wanted to shout _"I can fucking try!"_ but she knew better than to voice that right now.

“You need an outlet besides Noah, and me and Brooke when you're drunk,” Emma told her, far less harsh, but still firm. “Or kickboxing, even. Or… hell, unloading everything to Carmichael in front of an entire courtroom of people. You need something better than that. Because what happened that night? All of those things you said to me and Brooke, that _can’t_ happen again."

Audrey looked up at Emma, staring past her blurred vision. "I _know_ that, Emma. It won't."

“And you need to step up and make it up to Brooke,” she added. Emma didn’t sound mad anymore, she sounded more disappointed than anything else. “You really hurt her, Audrey, and she can't have actually gotten over it–"

"I _know._ I know all of this,” Audrey begged. She didn’t even know what she was trying to beg for. Forgiveness? Mercy? “And I'm _trying_ to make it up to her, I just don't know what else you guys expect me to–"

Emma tilted her head, silencing her with a deadly look.

Audrey let out a huff, staring down at her empty frozen yogurt cup. “This would be a start."

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “It would be."

Audrey chewed on her lip for a long moment before she finally admitted defeat. “Okay."

Emma closed her eyes and sighed, visibly relieved by that answer. "You'll go then?"

“For you? _Both_ of you,” Audrey replied, reaching up to wipe at her eyes. “Anything, Emma.”

 _“No, Audrey,”_ Emma shook her head, that harsh and jagged edge back in her voice. “For _yourself._ I mean, sure, for us if that's what it takes to get you there, but you need this for _you._ You need help to heal, and you’re always telling me there's no shame in that."

Again, Emma was right, and Audrey knew there was nothing she could say to fight her on this. She didn’t even really want to fight, but the thought of actually opening up to someone other than Noah or Brooke or Emma screamed danger to her. But Emma was still right. “Yeah, I know. Okay, fine."

“Good,” Emma replied, giving another small sigh of relief. “I talked to my therapist about you, and she gave me a list of people who she thinks might be good for you to try."

Audrey’s attention snapped back to Emma, eyes wide. “You talked to your _therapist_ about me?"

Emma leveled her with a look, as if it were obvious. “Of course, Audrey. I talk to her about my life, which you're a huge part of. Now more than ever."

Well, okay, that did make sense, and it never hurt to hear Emma say things like that. Emma reached over to kindly punctuate her statement by taking Audrey’s hand in hers, squeezing it. Audrey looked up to find Emma smiling fondly, and Audrey couldn’t help but smile back, even just a little.

“So I'll email you the list?" Emma asked hopefully.

Audrey nodded, giving her hand a gentle squeeze in return. She still felt wildly uneasy when she thought about trying to talk to a stranger about the deepest, most vulnerable parts of herself, but if this was what it took to make sure she could keep Brooke and Emma in her life, then she knew it would be worth it. "Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good."

“Good,” Emma nodded. She turned to face forward again, though she still held tight to Audrey’s hand. They sat like that for a moment, each left to mull over their own thoughts, until Emma eventually broke the silence again.

”So… Brooke sent me like four dirty texts during my math test today and she has like an hour before that Columbia guy's supposed to show up,” she announced, sending Audrey a sly grin. She raised her eyebrows in question. “Wanna help me get some payback?"

“Um.” Audrey didn’t even have an eloquent response that, other than a resounding, _“Yes?”_

Emma grinned widely, an impish gleam in her hazel eyes. _"Good._ Because some of the angles I'm thinking about will be hard to do without a second person to hold the phone."

“I mean,” Audrey said, already feeling her pulse pick up a notch or two. Just the suggestion was distraction enough to help her feel infinitely less anxious about the whole therapy thing, at least for now. “If you insist. I guess I could find the time."

Emma leaned across the center console of her car to press one soft kiss to Audrey’s lips, and then another. “Thank you.”

They both knew she wasn’t just talking about Snapchat. Audrey wasn’t good with words, probably never would be, but she _could_ hold Emma tight and hope that was enough to express how she felt.

But eventually Emma had to pull away. She started up the car again, and took Audrey’s hand back to hold in her own.

"You know,” Audrey said, rubbing her thumb across Emma’s knuckles. “If you were really grateful, you'd sneak me past Maggie so I won't have to look at her judgmental 'you're deflowering my daughter' eyes.”

Emma rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Audrey, you can't just sneak past my mom forever."

"Okay, sure, but I can on the days when I'm _actually_ deflowering her daughter."

_“Audrey.”_

"Look, if you think I'm gonna take those pictures for an hour without touching…” Audrey let the end of that sentence hang unfinished. “I'm only human, Emma."

Emma laughed and shook her head, but didn’t disagree aloud. She also _did_ sneak Audrey past her mom, and by the time they were done with Snapchat, Audrey had managed to get most of Emma’s clothes off of her.

Partway through building up to an orgasm that Audrey was already prepared to silence into one of Emma’s pillows, a buzz notified them both of an incoming text.

_[5:46] Scream Queen: god u both are in so much trouble you had better be at my house when i get back_

_[5:46] Scream Queen: i have never hated this drive so much in my life_

_[5:47] Scream Queen: u have 2 hours_

Audrey turned to Emma, grinning. “I guess we better save some for her.”

“Okay, but let’s not stop now,” Emma replied, setting her phone back on the table next to her bed. “You were almost there, I can tell.”

Audrey wasn’t going to fight her on that. She was only human.


	16. don't ask me how i've been

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey dudes, it's been a long time. shout out to anyone still hanging in there with us over these three disaster gays

Audrey had to keep reminding herself she was doing this for a reason. It wasn’t just because her dad was making her, it wasn’t even because Emma was making her. Though, if she was honest with herself, it was mostly the latter that stopped her from skipping out after she’d sat in her car in the parking lot for a full ten minutes before her appointment. No, she was doing this because she knew she had to. She wasn’t okay, and she hadn’t been for a long time. Deep down, she knew she had needed therapy  _ before _ the murders that tore through a good portion of her friends and acquaintances.

Realistically, she knew she had used Brooke and Emma, at least to a certain degree. They felt like the only part of her life that she could cling to, to stop her mess of a brain for just a moment or two. But that wasn’t helping her be  _ better, _ and they both deserved better. If she had any hope of being good for them, then she was gonna have to work for it. And that was enough motivation to get her in the door of a nondescript office building to meet her new therapist, if nothing else.

(She could almost hear Emma chastising her for that, for wanting to be better for them instead of for herself, but she had to start somewhere.)

The first thing she noticed when she sat down in the waiting room was how much it didn’t feel like a doctor’s office. It almost felt like someone’s living room. The walls were all gray except for one, which was instead a deep wine red, and there were several framed rock concert posters hanging around the room, some of them even signed. It wasn’t at all what the other therapists’ buildings had looked like, and the combined aesthetic threw her enough that she almost didn’t notice as the door opened and her new therapist strode in, hand extended to shake hers.

He had a full beard and his shirt was neatly pressed, but far from dull. It had little lightning bolts scattered all over it, and when Audrey stood and reached to shake his hand, she noticed a small tattoo on the inside of his wrist in the shape of a circle with a cross pointing downward toward his palm and an arrow pointing up and to the right. She vaguely recognized it as the male and female symbols, only merged into one.

“Audrey, right?” he asked, smiling warmly. “I’m Josh, it’s so great to meet you. Why don’t we take a seat, get comfortable?”

Audrey was completely dumbstruck, but she had enough of her wits still to follow him into his office, taking a seat in the big cushy couch next to his desk. His office had a homey feel similar to the waiting area, with more posters on his walls, and a bookcase with various knick knacks and video game memorabilia on the shelves along with a large collection of books. There was even a small TV in the corner of the room that played a video recording of a crackling fire.

“An actual fire would be unsafe, unfortunately,” he explained, having noticed her staring. “And expensive to keep going all the time. I just like the ambiance.”

Audrey blinked and shook her head. “No, yeah. It’s nice.”

“My wife teases me for it, but you’d be surprised how many compliments I get on it, so who’s laughing now?” he added, grinning.

Audrey smiled at that, feeling her nerves start to unwind. This guy was so starkly different than anything she’d ever thought a shrink could be that it didn’t even really feel like she was here for therapy. He was…  _ cool. _ Hell, it looked like he’d even had small gauges, at one point, though his earlobes appeared to be healing now.

“The baby pulls at them,” he said as he noticed her staring again, gesturing to his ears with a shrug. “So I figured it was probably time to let them grow back in.”

Audrey shook her head, laughing to herself.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” she replied quickly. “Yeah, sorry. I guess I just wasn’t really expecting someone like you.”

“Ah,” he replied, chuckling softly. “Well, that could be a good thing. Dr. Stokes is a good friend of mine and a smart woman, so she probably referred you to me for a reason.”

Dr. Stokes was Emma’s therapist. Audrey vaguely wondered if her therapist had talked to Josh about her before today, but that might have gone against the whole doctor-patient confidentiality thing.

Josh—he had insisted that she call him Josh instead of Dr. Hernandez—spent a few minutes going over some information regarding terms and what she could expect moving forward. She was eighteen now, so she could sign for herself and everything. She was still using her dad’s insurance, but it was a huge relief that he didn’t have to be there, and Josh wasn’t obligated to tell him anything.

“So,” he said finally, putting away some of the papers that she’d just signed. “Now with all that crappy paperwork is out of the way, how about we get started? We don’t have to cover everything today, so we can start easy. Tell me about yourself, Audrey.”

Audrey furrowed her brows, fidgeting with her hands in her lap. “I’m sure you’ve read my file. Or hell, you’ve seen the news, right?”

Josh shook his head. “I’d like to hear it from you, who you are to yourself.”

Audrey took a deep breath and tried to formulate her thoughts. Truthfully, she didn’t like to think of herself often, so finding the right words was difficult. “I don’t know, that’s… not really an easy question to answer.”

“That’s okay. We can try a different one, then,” Josh replied, unbothered. “Why do you think you're here?”

“Why else do people get therapy?” Audrey asked with a small scoff. “To get better, because their head's fucked up. I mean, uh. Messed up–”

“Oh, I don’t give a shit about cursing.”

Audrey smiled at that. “Cool. But um,” she continued, clearing her throat, “Yeah, I guess to start… Ever since last year, I blow up at the stupidest shit, and sometimes I  _ really  _ fuck things up, like the trial. Or… Like a couple of weeks ago with Brooke and Emma–”

“Woah, okay,” Josh raised a hand to stop her. “Slow down. This is Kieran Wilcox’s trial, I assume?”

“Yeah,” Audrey replied, still completely ashamed of herself. Whenever she thought about that day she could feel guilt biting and tearing at her gut. “I kind of… blew up at the defense lawyer on the stand and almost fucked the entire case. Kieran could have gotten off because of me.”

Josh’s eyebrows shot up. “That sounds… stressful, Audrey.  _ Awful, _ if we wanna be real. But he was still convicted, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah, thank god,” Audrey nodded. “But only because Emma stepped in, which she shouldn't have had to do. We were supposed to do the trial without needing her to face Kieran and testify, but then she had to anyway because I fucked up. That's on me.”

“I see,” he replied gravely, furrowing his brows. “And, speaking of which, you mentioned something about Brooke and Emma?”

Audrey stiffened, a blush rising to her cheeks. “I, um. Yeah.”

“Who are they to you?”

“They're my best friends,” Audrey answered immediately, then faltered. “They're. Uh, well, technically… you swear you're not gonna tell anyone, right?”

Josh gave her a reassuring smile. “I  _ like  _ my job. And I like you, so far, and I try not to fuck up my friends' or clients' lives. So anything you say here is just between you and me.”

“Okay,” Audrey nodded, taking a deep breath. The only other person she’d told until now was Noah, but there was something appealing about being able to tell someone—especially considering that Josh wouldn’t repeat the information to anyone else. “Right, then. So… they're actually my girlfriends.”

“Oh, okay,” Josh replied, completely unfazed. “Both of them? Is it like a poly thing?”

“I… guess so?” Audrey replied, shrugging. “I mean, we haven’t really called it that, but I guess that’s the best word for it.”

Josh nodded, apparently totally cool with the concept. “If you don’t mind my asking, is it like an open relationship, where you date other people, or a triad where you all date each other?”

Strangely enough, it was easy to talk about this with him now that she’d opened up. It helped that he wasn’t judging her even the slightest. She’d always felt at least some measure of judgement from her other short-lived therapists, and this particular subject had never even been on the table with them. “The second one, it’s just us.”

“And I’m guessing by the stupid grin on your face that you’re pretty happy with that.”

Audrey had been blushing ever since the topic had come up, and she realized now that she’d been wearing a pretty goofy smile too. She reached up to card her fingers through her hair, looking away from him sheepishly. “I mean–  _ Yeah, _ why wouldn’t I be? I get to date my two best friends, who are  _ very _ hot, by the way. And they want to date me back?  _ And  _ each other, so it all just works and none of us are hurt or jealous or anything. It's… better than I deserve, really. God, and the sex is–”

She snapped her mouth shut, looking up at him with wide eyes.  _ “Uh.” _

“Oh no, go ahead,” Josh shrugged. “Nothing is off limits here.”

Audrey shook her head, stiff. “Um. No, I'm good, thanks.”

“Honestly, Audrey, that all sounds  _ dope,” _ he smiled encouragingly. She couldn’t believe that he’d just used the term ‘dope’ and it didn’t even sound stupid coming from him. “I’m really happy for you, it sounds like you make each other happy. And besides that, figuring out that you're queer  _ and  _ poly, at your age, on top of everything else that's happened this year? That's  _ incredible. _ You should be really proud of yourself, most people would stop at that first one rather than go for what they really want.”

He paused, tilting his head at her. “But you said that you don’t deserve it. That’s… less good.”

Audrey looked down at her hands in her lap. “Right.”

“You wanna talk about that?”

“Honestly?” she replied, giving a half-hearted laugh. “Not really.”

“You wanna do it anyway since that’s how therapy works?” he prodded, squinting his eyes at her and making a face.

Audrey sighed heavily, annoyed. Just because she expected to have to talk about this stuff in therapy didn’t mean she had to like it. “ _ Fine, _ I guess.”

She bit her lip, still staring down at her hands instead of directly at him. “Look, I've done some fucked up shit. A lot of it to people who didn't deserve it. Most of it to Brooke and Emma, actually. I wouldn't blame them if they never wanted to speak to me again, much less  _ date  _ me. It’s like… I don’t know, it’s like I won the lottery or something, only I knocked over an old lady to get the ticket first.”

Josh furrowed his eyebrows at her. “Do they bring that up often?”

“... No.”

“Do you get the sense they're thinking about it when they’re not with you?”

“No,” Audrey shook her head. “They never bring it up at all. It's… usually me, actually.”

“I see.”

“But how could they  _ not  _ think about it?” Audrey asked him, not sure if her question was entirely rhetorical or not. She actually wondered now what his opinion was about it, if she was honest. “It's all I think about when I'm with them, half the time. There's no way they could just  _ forget  _ about the fact that I was the one who invited the murderous assholes who ruined their lives to Lakewood.  _ I did that. _ I brought them here.”

“Well,” Josh replied evenly, like they were talking about the weather, not serial killers. “They did agree to date you, so maybe they don’t see it that way.”

“But they  _ have  _ to,” Audrey insisted, shaking her head. “Deep down, some part of them must hate me for it. I would hate me for it, if I were them.”

She  _ did  _ hate herself for it, but she left that part out. She realized he would probably just tell her she was projecting.

“Really? Because the way I heard it, Emma Duval basically confessed her love for you on the stand during that trial,” Josh pointed out. “That's what E! News said, anyway.”

“It didn't happen  _ exactly  _ like that,” she sputtered. “I mean. Kinda. I guess it could have been taken that way, but–”

“Maybe I'm drawing some incorrect conclusions here,” Josh interrupted, though not unkindly, “but that doesn't sound like someone who hates you.”

“But…”

“Have you asked them?”

Audrey opened her mouth to answer, but then closed it. She shook her head, avoiding his gaze.

“If you feel up to it, maybe try that between now and next week,” he suggested. “Call it homework. Why don’t we stop there for right now, since I have a newborn to attend to, and we can start unpacking the rest of this next week.”

“Yeah,” Audrey agreed, nodding. She breathed in a deep sigh and stood from the couch to stretch her legs. “Yeah, okay.”

Josh stood as well and reached to shake her hand again. “It really was a pleasure to meet you, Audrey, and I think we can really help you out. So I’ll see you next week, okay?”

She nodded and gave him a smile before she retreated out of his office and back to her car. She didn’t know what it was, exactly, but she felt better than she ever had after one of these things. Maybe it was the different environment, or maybe it was Josh, or maybe she was just ready to let go of all this shit she’d been carrying around for so long. She just knew that she hadn’t talked like this maybe ever, not to someone she’d just met. They’d only just begun, but for the first time in a really long time, she felt…  _ relieved. _

Audrey drove to Brooke’s house as soon as she pulled out of the parking lot. Brooke and Emma had agreed to meet her there so she could give them a report on how it had gone. Earlier when they made those plans, she’d been a little worried that she’d have to make something up or lie to make it sound better than it actually was, but that wasn’t a concern anymore. She could be honest with them.

She  _ should _ be honest with them.

She found them both in the kitchen, where Emma was cooking some kind of vegetable pasta that smelled incredible while Brooke watched, sitting on the countertop next to her. Audrey took a moment to appreciate the sight of them both, smiling at each other as Emma let Brooke taste the sauce from the wooden spoon in her hand.

“Do I get a taste?” she asked, announcing her arrival. She crossed behind the island to approach them, lifting up on her toes to kiss Emma on the cheek before wrapping herself in Brooke’s arms.

“Of course,” Emma grinned, lifting her spoon again to allow Audrey to try the sauce as well. “How was it?”

“Mm, it’s good. Did you put cinnamon in that?” she asked, impressed.

“No, I meant therapy,” Emma laughed, shaking her head. “I mean, yes, actually. There is a little cinnamon, good catch.”

“It’s  _ really _ good,” Audrey repeated, leaning against Brooke. “And, um. Therapy was good. Way better than I expected, this guy is really… cool.”

“He’s  _ cool?” _ Brooke asked curiously, slipping her arms around Audrey’s waist.

“Yeah,” nodded Audrey with a small shrug. “I mean… There were rock concert posters lining his walls and he used to wear gauges. Said he had to take them out because he has a newborn who pulls on them.”

“Wow, he  _ does _ sound pretty cool,” Emma teased, quirking an eyebrow at her, still tending to the stove. “So you guys talked a lot, then?”

“Yeah,” Audrey said, sighing softly. “I mean, we couldn’t get into everything right away, obviously. And I still think that therapy as a rule kind of sucks, but… I don’t know, I’ve never felt that comfortable in a therapist’s office before, it was a strange feeling. But good? He kind of reminded me of Noah, weirdly enough. I feel like that’s a good sign.”

“It’s probably not a  _ bad  _ sign,” Brooke agreed. “Especially for you.”

Audrey cleared her throat, not really looking forward to this next part. But she knew that if she waited too long, she’d just keep thinking of excuses not to do it. “But, uh. He gave me some homework.”

Brooke scrunched her nose. “Gross. I hate it when they do that.”

“It… It involves you guys, actually.” 

“What is it?” Emma asked, furrowing her brows.

“So, um. I have to ask,” she started, taking a deep breath and squeezing one of Brooke’s hands. She dreaded the possible answers she was going to get. “After everything that's happened, after everything I've done… I can't help but think you both must… um. Hate me.”

Emma blinked, confused.  _ “What?” _

“What kind of stupi–” Brooke retorted, looking offended. “Look, I know I know I don’t have the best track record , but I try not to make a habit of dating people I hate.”

“Audrey, I can't believe you’d even say something like that,” Emma added, brows furrowed, looking a little hurt. “Why would you think we hate you?”

Audrey’s stomach lurched uncomfortably and she dropped Emma’s gaze, guilty. “Because you  _ have to. _ It’s my fault Piper and Kieran even came here in the first place. I did that. All by myself. I wanted to  _ ruin your lives _ and I got exactly what I wanted.” She pushed away from Brooke, moving to the opposite side of the walkway to lean against the center island. “I don't know how either of you could ever forget that, much less forgive me for it.”

Silence hung heavy in the air in the wake of her long-overdue confession, and Brooke and Emma glanced at each other before turning to face her.

“Look, Audrey,” Brooke started, hopping down from the counter. “Do I sometimes wish you handled your middle school break-up better? Or that Emma hadn’t been living all the way in the back of the Narnia closet all this time? Sure, yeah. But then I remember thinking that way is  _ pointless, _ because who even knows what happens in the universe where Piper never comes to Lakewood. Maybe I never find out my mom's in rehab. Maybe Nina crashes into a tree with all of us in the car. Fuck, maybe Branson knocks me up. I mean,  _ thank god _ I dodged that bullet.”

Audrey winced. She had to give that last one to Brooke.

“All we can do is make the best of this shitty universe, and for me, that means keeping you two gay idiots in my life. Because, honestly, who else is there to sleep with in this town,” Brooke added, rolling her eyes. But then she reached across the aisle to take Audrey’s hand. “Also maybe I care about you, or whatever. Someone's gotta look out for you.”

Audrey gave her hand a squeeze, some of the pressure lifting off her chest. She couldn’t really argue with that, but it might take her some time to get used to it. She bit her lip, looking up at Emma warily. “... Em?”

“I mean,” Emma started, breathing a deep sigh. “Brooke said it better than I can. I… couldn't even imagine dealing with my mom getting sick, on top of figuring out that I was gay, all on my own. I basically had to wait for you two to drag me out of the closet. I don't know how you did it, but that doesn't change the fact that I should have noticed. I should have been there for you.”

“Emma–” Audrey started to protest. Brooke had crossed over to mold herself into Audrey’s side, and Audrey let herself take comfort in it.

“No, it's true, and you and I both know it,” Emma insisted. “We both could have handled things better, but it's not your fault my awful sister tried take out her unstable psychosis and jealousy on me and everyone else. And if you believe it’s your fault that all those people are dead, then you have to think it's my fault too.”

“Of  _ course not, _ Emma,” Audrey replied immediately, shaking her head fervently. “You didn't kill anyone.”

_ “Duh,” _ Brooke interjected, her arms around Audrey’s middle. “Audrey, that's the point. We both know you never asked for  _ this.” _

“I– you…  _ But,” _ Audrey tried to argue, looking between the two of them.

_ “Besides,” _ Emma replied, moving to join the two of them. She reached up to smooth Audrey’s bangs fondly. “Like Brooke said, who even knows who I am in the alternate universe where none of this ever happened.”

“You probably date Will until college, when he cheats on you,” Brooke answered her, even though Emma almost definitely wasn’t asking for a real answer. “Then you have a drunken hook up with a girl, freak out about it, write it off, and don't come out until you're like forty.”

Audrey and Emma both stared at Brooke, dumbfounded.

“Come on, don’t tell me that’s not the most likely scenario,” Brooke shrugged.

“The point is,” Emma started again, turning back to Audrey so she could ignore Brooke’s painfully accurate prediction. “So yeah, this isn’t the brightest timeline, or whatever, but it’s not the darkest one either.”

Audrey narrowed her eyes at Emma. “Is that a  _ Dr. Who _ reference?”

“Don’t look at me like that, the David Tennant episodes are really good,” Emma protested, a smile growing on her lips. “My mom and I watched them on Netflix.”

“Nerd,” Audrey teased, reaching out to pull Emma closer by her waist.

Brooke gagged, rolling her eyes. “God, why do I even hang out with you two.”

“Because you care about us,  _ or whatever,” _ Emma countered, throwing her own words back at her.

Audrey bit her lip, looking between the both of them, squeezing them both a little tighter. “So… in conclusion–”

“No, we don’t hate you,” Emma finished for her. She reached up to turn Audrey’s chin to her, and bent to kiss her softly. “I promise.”

Emma let go of Audrey so she could return to the stove to stir one of the pots. Brooke hopped up onto the counter again and pulled Audrey between her knees, turning her so she could plant a firm kiss to her lips as well. “Me too. I don’t think that you need to seek out forgiveness from  _ us. _ I think maybe you should be looking somewhere else.”

Audrey sighed, catching Brooke’s meaning. The only person who hadn’t forgiven her was herself. Which… wasn’t exactly news, but that didn’t mean it was going to be easy. She leaned into Brooke again, closing her eyes. She felt better, technically, she could tell that much. But she still felt somewhat overwhelmed. Like maybe she’d been drowning this whole time and she was only now figuring out which direction the surface was. She still had to swim.

But dinner with her girlfriends—neither of whom hated her—was a good start.

 

* * *

 

The next day, which was a Saturday, the three of them agreed to hang out with Noah and Stavo in an effort to be normal teenagers again. Apparently, Stavo and Emma had actually hung out a few times while the rest of them had been spending their entire days at the courthouse. That was more than a little weird for Audrey, but she was glad that Emma hadn’t been totally alone during the trial.

They met at the Grindhouse, and Noah and Stavo managed to claim the couches in the middle of the room before they got there. Stavo’s menacing glare basically ensured they could fend off anyone else who tried to steal a spot before the girls arrived, which Audrey had to admit was impressive. At least Stavo’s creep face came with benefits.

She let Brooke and Emma order their drinks—between the three of them they pretty much knew every single one of their orders by heart at this point—and flopped onto one of the couches next to Noah.

“We didn’t keep you waiting too long, right?” she asked, pulling off her leather jacket.

“Nah, it wasn’t too bad,” Noah said, shaking his head. “Stavo and I have just been working on comic book stuff anyway.”

“Oh, that’s awesome,” Audrey said, peeking over his shoulder to take a look. “I thought you guys had finished.”

“The first issue, yeah,” Noah clarified. He looked up to nod towards Stavo. “We’ve still got several issues to go, at least to start out. The publisher wants us to finish out through the–” Noah paused to look over his shoulder at Brooke and Emma, who were still at the counter. “–through the Piper stuff. If it does well, they want us to continue through Kieran, and then… they mentioned branching out to other stuff, but I’m not so sure. It’s probably a little early to be worrying about that, anyway.”

“Dude, you know it’d be a good idea,” Stavo said from where he was lounging on the other couch, drawing tablet in hand. “There’s so much we could do.”

“We’re still discussing it,” Noah replied with some finality, sending Stavo a firm look.

Audrey had very mixed feelings on the matter of Noah and Stavo’s joint comic book venture, but she supposed she was glad at least that it Noah who was telling their story. She knew it could have been much worse, but the idea of anyone making money off the back of their collective trauma was always going rub her the wrong way—even if it was inevitable. “Well that’s… exciting, right?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Noah agreed. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s all  _ very  _ exciting. If not slightly daunting.”

“The hype machine is doing its job,” Stavo added, smirking a little. “Both our follower counts have shot through the roof, and Dark Horse is taking us to Atlanta for a con right before the release.”

“Dude, that’s awesome!” Audrey replied, perking up. She turned to Noah. “That’s huge, why didn’t you tell me?”

“We only just found out,” Noah explained. “And you’ve been busy. I was actually gonna ask you if you wanted to go with us. We could use an extra hand.”

“Go to what?” Emma’s voice sounded from behind her shoulder.

Audrey looked up to see that Emma and Brooke had arrived with their drinks, and Audrey smiled up at them both as she scooched over to make room. Brooke sank onto the seat next to her and Emma took up the free spot next to Stavo across from them. “Noah and Stavo got invited to a convention in Atlanta. I’m assuming to do promo stuff?”

“Yeah, that’s part of it,” Noah nodded, preening a little. “We also just get to hang out and do, you know, nerd stuff, but the main reason is to talk to fans and get people to buy the comic book. Assuming we  _ have  _ any fans at that point.”

“Don’t even sweat it, man,” Stavo said, kicking Noah lightly with his foot. “Pre-sales are already crazy, and you  _ know  _ our shit’s good.”

“Guys, that’s so cool,” Emma told them both. Audrey wasn’t totally sure how Emma felt about the book as a whole, but leave it to her of all people to put qualms aside to be a supportive friend. “So you're going to this convention thing?”

“Yeah, the publisher is taking us,” Noah grinned, nodding eagerly. “It’s like a comic con thing with a bunch of nerds and fans and stuff.”

“With all expenses paid,” Stavo added, also looking entirely pleased by the development.

Noah turned to Audrey, shrugging. “We were gonna ask if Audrey wanted to go with us, since we can take a guest. I could probably see if we can get you two in too–”

“Oh, I’m good,” Brooke replied quickly, her distaste showing clearly on her face. “But you guys have fun.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure if it’d really be my thing either,” Emma agreed, though much more tactfully than Brooke. “It sounds like you all will have fun, though.”

Audrey looked between Brooke and Emma hopefully. “I mean… I’ve only been to a con once before and it was a blast.”

“You should go,” Emma encouraged, smiling. “You can tell us all about it. You said all expenses paid, right? It’ll probably be really awesome.”

Audrey grinned widely. It  _ did  _ sound fucking awesome, and she wouldn’t even have to worry about getting a hotel or anything. It would’ve been cool if Brooke and Emma wanted to come too, but Emma was probably right. It wouldn’t really be their thing, and realistically, Brooke would never set foot on a con floor voluntarily. Even if it would be kind of funny to watch.

“Yeah, count me in,” Audrey nodded, turning back to Noah. “I mean, as long as it’s okay with everyone.”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Brooke asked, slipping her arm around Audrey’s shoulders.

Audrey shrugged. “Just wanna be safe and check, I guess.”

“Go, you’ll have fun,” Brooke insisted, smirking. “Just don’t come home in one of those weird costumes.”

“Well, you usually have to make those yourself,” Audrey pointed out, laughing. “And I don’t know anything about sewing, so we’re probably safe.”

“They  _ make  _ those?” Emma asked, surprised. “They always look so detailed.”

“Crazy, right?” Noah added, grinning. “They can actually get pretty impressive. A lot of the time people spend years–”

“Stavo, swear to me you won’t let either of these two come home wearing something ridiculous,” Brooke cut him off, pointing a finger at Stavo. “You’re clearly the most sensible one here and I’m holding you personally responsible.”

Stavo laughed and reached up to cross his heart. “Sure thing.”

“Then yes, Audrey,” Brooke replied, nodding. “You may go.”

Audrey laughed, shaking her head. She reached to squeeze Brooke’s knee. “I’ll bring you and Emma home something good. There’s gotta be something.”

“I’ll be really impressed if you can find something for Brooke,” Emma told her, grinning behind her coffee.

“Yeah, I don’t think Gucci has a booth at this con,” Stavo added with a smirk.

It was weird. This was probably one of the most normal conversations that all five of them had ever had, about a  _ comic convention _ of all things, but Audrey wasn’t certainly complaining. Maybe spending a weekend with Noah and Stavo wouldn’t be so bad, even without Brooke and Emma there as buffers.

“Whatever, I’m gonna find something,” Audrey insisted. This was her mission, now.

“I can help,” Noah replied, nodding encouragingly.

“Thank you, Noah,” she smiled, before turning back to Stavo with a mock glare. “At least  _ someone  _ here believes in me.”

“You and Noah picking out something for Emma and I at a comic con,” Brooke said, her eyebrows raised in amusement. “I can’t wait.”

“You guys are jerks,” Audrey laughed, shaking her head. But she wasn’t mad. To the contrary, this was the most relaxed she’d felt in years, since early high school at least. It used to be always just her and Noah, and her and Emma before that. For the first time, she had a steady and reliable group of friends who genuinely loved and supported her, and she wouldn’t trade that for anything. They may have gone through hell to get here, but she loved her friends. 

Maybe even Stavo.


	17. i'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey we love each and every one of you who's been sticking with us. we may be getting slow with updating but we promise it's worth it <3

If Audrey had known a few months ago how easy it was going to be to do this whole poly triad relationship thing with Brooke and Emma, she would have suggested it ages ago. She could have saved herself so much agony over the thought of having to choose, eventually. But this worked, it was good, and it made sense for them.

They still had to keep it quiet, for the most part, but that was okay too. Publicly, Audrey and Emma were dating since there was no point in hiding it in the wake of the trial, and they both snuck around with Brooke whenever they could. Hopefully they wouldn't have to sneak around for forever, but they'd all agreed that high school was not the time to make everything public, especially when various media outlets and journalists were still skulking around. Audrey was fine with that anyway, she’d had enough of the general public sticking their noses in her relationships to last a lifetime.

They usually spent weekends at Brooke’s house. Maggie probably would never let Emma spend the night with Audrey alone, but as far as Maggie knew, Brooke was safe. She felt a little bad for lying by omission to Emma's mom, but not bad enough to let it stop her. Plus, Brooke’s house had a hot tub.

Audrey brought beer (her dad was never home enough anymore to notice a six pack going missing), and the three of them found solace from the cold winter night by putting that hot tub to good use. She grinned over at Brooke and Emma next to her, behind the lip of her beer bottle as she drank.

“What's that look for?” Brooke asked from where she sat next to Emma, with Emma’s arms around her middle.

“What look?” Audrey asked. “I'm smiling, am I not allowed to smile?”

“Sure,” Emma laughed, her chin on Brooke’s shoulder. “But when you smile like that it usually means you have something on your mind.”

“Hey, I'm just happy,” Audrey protested, shaking her head. “It's nothing scandalous.”

Brooke and Emma both sent her pointed looks, with matching smirks to boot.

“... Yet,” she added. “I mean if you two have ideas, I'm open to suggestions.”

“Yeah, I'm sure we’ll think of something,” Brooke replied, rolling her eyes a little. She leaned over to Audrey, planting a kiss on her lips.

“You guys aren't actually gonna try and have sex in this hot tub, right,” Emma interrupted, her arms still around Brooke’s middle.

“No,” Brooke replied, pulling away from Audrey slightly so she could turn to Emma. “But I'm not above a little making out.”

Emma grinned and leaned into Brooke, kissing her slowly, while Audrey occupied herself with pressing a few gentle kisses to Brooke’s neck. She always had to wait all day to kiss Brooke, until they were alone. It drove her nuts, sometimes.

“But let's not get too ahead of ourselves just yet,” Brooke said, breathing a contented sigh. She smirked at Audrey, lifting a hand to touch her cheek.

“Tease,” Audrey replied, though still grinning.

“I know, but you're so easy, it’s  _ almost  _ no fun,” Brooke pointed out. “Besides, I wanted to ask Emma– my dad’s lawyer mentioned something about your case settling.”

“Oh, um,” Emma replied, covering her mouth with her hand as she’d just swallowed a mouthful of beer. “Yeah, it's not really a big deal though.”

Brooke furrowed her brows, confused. “Not a big deal? These suits usually take ages to settle.”

“Wait, what are we talking about?” Audrey asked, bewildered.

“Emma’s civil suit with Gawker,” Brooke clarified, still laser-focused on Emma. “They must not have fought too hard if they're settling already. Did they even try to negotiate?”

Emma shrugged. “I guess not? I wasn't really involved, the lawyers handled almost everything and then I got a letter saying how much it settled for–”

“What?” Audrey stared at her in disbelief. She knew that Emma had talked to lawyers about that whole ordeal but it literally hadn't crossed her mind that there would be a case or settlements or anything like that involved. “How much did it settle for?”

“Audrey,” Brooke scolded, giving her a light slap on the arm. “It's none of our business.”

“Shit,” Audrey turned back to Emma, shaking her head. “You don't have to answer that.”

“No it's, fine,” Emma told them, waving a hand. “I mean, if I were to tell anyone it'd be you guys. It’s um. A few million? Like five.”

Audrey nearly choked on her beer, coughing into her arm. “Holy fuck,  _ what?” _

“Wow, that's not bad,” Brooke replied, impressed. In Audrey's opinion, she was  _ severely  _ underreacting to this, just casually accepting that Emma had suddenly become a millionaire overnight.

“I don't think it's really hit me yet,” Emma replied, looking a little shy about the whole thing. “My mom suggested I put it in a trust, and I think I'll just do that so I don’t have to worry about it.”

“That probably makes the most sense,” Brooke nodded. “I mean, the trust my dad left for me works pretty well.”

Audrey was still coughing and red in the face. “Can we back up a second? When did all of this even happen?”

“After the video leaked again, Brooke connected me with one of the lawyers her dad had,” Emma explained, fidgeting with the label of her beer bottle. “They agreed to take the case as like a favor, I guess? Anyway, they really handled most of it, and apparently it went pretty well. I mean, I'd much rather the video not even exist in the first place, but–”

“At least you're practically set for life, now,” Brooke pointed out, grinning.

“Could be worse, I guess,” Emma laughed. “Besides, I'm not even going to see most of it if I do this trust thing. It'll just go into a bank account and I'll get a check once a month and I won't even have to think about it.”

Audrey shook her head, staring dumbfounded at Emma. “Holy shit.”

“Audrey, it's…” Emma started, moving to sit on the other side of her. “I mean it seems silly to say it's not a big deal, but it's not like it changes that much. I'm still me.”

Audrey shook herself a little, furrowing her brows as she looked up at Emma. “No yeah, of course. It's just… a lot to process, I guess. I mean. Moreso for you, but.” She let out a low whistle.

“Hey, think of it this way,” Brooke said, smirking as she pulled herself closer to Audrey. “Now you have  _ two _ girlfriends who can spoil you beyond your wildest dreams.”

“Oh my god, please don't,” Audrey balked. “Honestly, you don't have to do that.”

“What are we going to do,” Emma said, laughing. “Only spend it on ourselves and like… boring adult stuff? Where's the fun in that?”

“Seriously,” Audrey shook her head, pointing at the both. “If you spend a dime on me I'm breaking up with both of you.”

“You’re bluffing,” Brooke told her, kissing her cheek and draping an arm across her shoulders. “But you probably don’t have to worry. Much.”

Audrey was willing to let it go for now, but she really hoped neither of them tried to pull something ridiculous. She’d never be able to make it up to them. She sighed, shaking her head as she turned back to Emma. “So, what, college is all set? You could literally do anything you want.”

Emma shrugged, sipping from her beer. “I don’t know, I might take a year off. I haven’t totally decided.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to stay  _ here,” _ Brooke said, curling her lip.

“I don’t think so. At least, I don’t want to,” Emma said, mulling it over. “I don’t know what I’m going to do instead, but you have the right idea getting out of here as soon as possible. I guess there’s just a lot of options.”

“Especially now,” Audrey added, smirking. If everything went well, Audrey was hoping to be accepted to a small school in Atlanta on an in-state scholarship, and there was a part of her that wanted Emma to come along too. She didn’t mention it, though. They hadn’t really discussed what they were going to do after graduation, in terms of the three of them, and she didn’t want influence Emma’s decision. Whatever Emma decided to do after graduation, it needed to be based on what  _ she  _ wanted. Not because of what Audrey wanted or what Brooke wanted or anyone else.

“Yeah, but I’ve got time to worry about that,” Emma shook her head. “I certainly won’t be making any decisions tonight.” She grinned a little wider and set her beer down on the concrete next to them so she could scooch closer and slip her arms around Audrey, one hand set on Brooke’s thigh. “I’m pretty sure someone said something about making out, anyway.”

Audrey grinned and finished off her beer. Making out with three people involved took a little more coordination than with just two, but they were getting the hang of it. She was definitely happy to take any opportunity to practice, anyway. They took turns kissing each other, or kissing necks and cheeks. Really it had become more a matter of following each other and doing what felt right. About fifteen minutes in however, when Audrey had kissed partway down Emma’s chest, it started becoming clear where exactly they were all headed.

“We should–” Brooke breathed, pressed against Emma’s back with her lips to the corner of Emma’s mouth. “We should head inside.”

Audrey lifted her head and grinned up at the two of them. “So it’s a definite no on the hot tub sex, then.”

Emma laughed, rolling her eyes as she started to extract herself from the two of them. “C’mon, we’ll get you out of that bathing suit once we’re inside.”

She didn’t have to be told twice. The three of them got out of the tub and Brooke rushed to the pool house to turn it off while the other two found their towels. It was still early enough in spring to be plenty chilly out, so they hurried to the back door to get inside. Only, once they got there, Audrey reached to turn the handle and found it locked.

She blinked, looking up at Emma fearfully, already shivering a little. “Fuck, did we lock the door?”

Emma shook her head, reaching to try the door herself. “We  _ can’t  _ have.”

She was still desperately trying to turn the handle as Brooke ran back to them, holding onto her own arms for warmth while she shook from the cold. Audrey immediately wrapped the third towel around her and rubbed her arms to help.

“Wh-what are we doing, it’s cold as f- fuck out here,” Brooke demanded, looking between the two of them.

“Uh,” Audrey replied, worrying her brow. “Did you bring a key? I think the door’s locked.”

_ “What?” _ Brooke pushed past them both to try the handle herself, her hands shaking as she almost ripped it off the door. “N-no no  _ no.” _

“Hey, it’s okay,” Emma insisted reaching to wrap her arms tight around Brooke, to try and share some of her warmth. “There’s the spare key, right? We can go get that.”

Brooke nodded, her chin quivering. She turned to huddle up against Emma, underneath her towel as well. “Y-yeah, it’s– it’s in the p-pool house I th-think.”

“I got it,” Audrey said, already backing toward the way Brooke had just come from. The pool house wasn’t very far, but the cold night air was already biting and pricking her wet skin. She couldn’t even imagine how bad it probably was for Brooke, who was easily the smallest of the three of them.

Once inside she whirled around to find the key that was hidden on top of the doorframe of the entrance. She could barely reach it, but after a couple of tries she managed to knock it down. Her hands shook a little as she picked it up off the floor, but once she had it in hand she hurried back to Emma and Brooke.

“Did you get it?” Emma asked, still holding tight to a violently shivering Brooke in her arms.

“Yeah,” Audrey nodded, trying to steady her hand enough to unlock the door. “But I remember now why you usually get it. I basically had to take a running jump.”

“My hero,” Emma smiled, ushering Brooke past Audrey and through the back door. “C’mon, we should probably change.”

“P-please,” Brooke muttered, removing herself from Emma’s arms so she could scurry upstairs.

Audrey locked up the back door again and set the key on a nearby table before following after Brooke and Emma. She was still cold, but it was definitely much better now that they were inside. She’d almost gotten scared for a second there.

She caught up with them in Brooke’s room, and both Emma and Brooke were already peeling off their suits. Except Brooke was shaking so badly that Emma had to stop to help her, tossing their suits through the doorway into the bathroom.

“Brooke, are you okay?” Audrey asked, furrowing her brows as she reached out to try and help too. She pulled the towel off her shoulders and started drying her off.

“I’m f-fine,” Brooke said, but she wasn’t pushing either of them away. “I just– I d-don’t like the c-cold.”

Audrey looked up to exchange a worried glance with Emma, wrapping a towel around Brooke again now that she was dry. Audrey knew that Brooke wasn’t a huge fan of the cold, but she’d never seen her like this.

“It’s okay,” Emma said softly, having finished drying herself off. She gently steered Brooke toward the bed, pulling back the blankets. “We’ll get under the covers and you’ll be warm again in no time.”

It suddenly dawned on her then, as Emma pulled Brooke into bed and held her close against her chest. Audrey hadn’t been there when they pulled her out, but she’d seen Brooke afterward, how her skin was so pale it was almost blue, wrapped up in Jake’s arms as he carried her out of the basement. Nobody knew how long she’d been trapped in that freezer.

Audrey dried herself off as quickly as she could, taking care to make sure she didn’t have a drop of water left on her before she joined Brooke and Emma. She slipped under the blankets next to them and pulled close to Brooke, in front of her. Audrey could still feel her shaking a little.

“I-I’m sorry,” she muttered, closing her eyes. She tucked herself under Audrey’s chin, pulling them both as close as she could.

“Don’t be,” Audrey told her, shaking her head. She pressed a kiss to the top of her head, slowly rubbing her hands over Brooke’s skin, as did Emma. “We can stay like this as long as you want.”

“But Emma l-likes the middle,” Brooke protested.

“I can make a sacrifice tonight,” Emma told her, and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “Besides, this is kind of nice.”

Brooke let out a small laugh that was halfway a small sob. “God, I j-just wanted to make out with my girlfriends in a hot tub.”

“Next time, we’ll make sure the door isn’t locked,” Audrey promised. She reached up to run her fingers through Brooke’s hair, happy to note that she didn’t seem to be shaking as much anymore. She hated to think what it must have been like for Brooke in that freezer, and that she had to relive it whenever it got too cold out. “I’m sorry, Brooke.”

“Why are  _ you _ sorry,” Brooke asked, pulling back a little to look up at her. “You didn’t ruin a perfectly g-good night with stupid… over-dramatic reactions to winter, of all things.”

Audrey sighed, her hand settling on Brooke’s cheek. “I’m sorry that it’s cold out and I’m sorry that it happened.”

Brooke didn’t answer her, and instead she huddled up against Audrey’s chest again. Audrey looked up at Emma, finding her with a worried look that surely matched her own. They exchanged a silent agreement, a promise that if they could help it, Brooke would never have to feel cold or alone again.

* * *

Audrey sighed to herself, grumbling at her calculus homework. She couldn’t believe that, after everything they’d all had to endure over the last year, that she still had to worry about homework of all things. It didn’t seem fair, but she  _ did _ need to graduate if she had any hope of getting out of Lakewood.

She chewed on her pencil, in the middle of trying to decipher a particularly inane set of equations when she caught sight of a figure approaching from the corner of her eye. She looked up and watched as Emma made a beeline for her, a kind of determined gait to her step.

“Hey,” Audrey smiled, sitting up a little straighter and pulling out the chair next to her so Emma could sit. “What’s up? You wanna help me with calculus?”

“Is it the assignment we got today?” Emma asked as she sat next to her, leaning to steal a quick kiss.

“Yeah, I was hoping to get a head start on it,” Audrey replied with a small groan of dismay. She turned back to the spread of books and papers in front of her, flipping through her notes. “But like. Calculus sucks.”

Emma laughed and leaned over to look at her work so far, biting on her bottom lip. “Yeah, I don’t mind helping. I was, um. Actually hoping we could talk, though.”

Audrey sent her a cautious look, already on her guard. Had she done something wrong? “Oh. Sure, what’s up?”

“I was just thinking…” Emma started, mulling over her words carefully.

God, what if Maggie had found out about everything? Audrey didn’t think Maggie was the type to commit her daughter to a nunnery, but honestly there wasn’t a lot that could surprise her any longer. Or maybe Emma wanted to break up before they all left for college. They still had a few months to worry about it, but it was definitely something that was on her own mind as well. But it was still too early to do anything like that, right? They had time.

Emma looked back up at Audrey and nodded, more sure of herself. “We should take Brooke on a date. Like a real date, you know? You took me on that date to the drive-in and it was so nice, and I think we should do something like that for Brooke.”

A deep sigh of relief rushed out of Audrey as the knot of tense worry unraveled in her abdomen. “Oh, yeah for sure,” she nodded, immediately on board. It made total sense, and it would probably be fun to plan something out with Emma. “She and I actually haven’t done anything like that yet, it's a great idea.”

Emma’s eyes flashed and she tilted her head at Audrey, questioning. “You haven’t taken Brooke on a date yet?”

Panic immediately rose to Audrey’s chest as she realized the implications of what she’d just admitted. She opened her mouth to try and explain or offer some kind of excuse, but there wasn’t any.

“Audrey–” Emma admonished, clearly upset by this revelation. She looked up to take a quick look around the mostly-empty study hall and lowered her voice to a tense whisper as she continued. “Audrey, you’ve taken  _ me  _ on dates. Multiple dates.”

Honestly, Audrey couldn’t really blame Emma for reacting like this, she felt pretty shitty about it herself now that she was actually thinking about it.

“Because Brooke told me I should, that first time,” Audrey pointed out, even though it didn’t really make anything better. “And you and I have been kind of open about this for a while, now. Brooke and I were never really… Official, not just the two of us. We didn’t ever talk about  _ dating _ until you were in the picture too.”

_ “So?” _ Emma demanded, struggling to keep her voice down. She blinked at Audrey, as if coming to a sudden realization. “Would you choose me over Brooke?”

_ “What? _ No!” A librarian shushed them both loudly from the other corner of the room and Audrey cast a glare in that direction before she huddled closer to Emma. “It’s not like that, I swear.”

“When you first told me about you and Brooke, you told me you’d end it with her,” Emma said in a dangerous murmur. “If it meant that you and I could be together, you said you’d tell her it was over.”

“It’s different now,” Audrey insisted. “I wasn’t thinking straight because the girl I’ve been crazy about for  _ years  _ was finally giving me a shot. It was stupid, I know, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you stopped me from doing that.”

Emma didn’t say anything. She surveyed Audrey with a hard glare, her jaw tense.

“I mean it,” Audrey continued. “Brooke is… I don’t know what I would have done without her. Before she and I got close it felt like I was totally lost. I was so… tired and broken down after everything last year and she helped pull me out of that. Maybe things started because we were both lonely, but it’s so much more than that now. I could never choose between the two of you. I don’t want to.”

Emma sighed, the fire in her eyes having lessened to a certain degree. She still didn’t look  _ happy, _ but she seemed to believe some of what Audrey was trying to say. “I don’t want you to choose either.”

“Brooke and I talked about it,” Audrey admitted, her voice still kept low so no one would pay them any attention. “After the fight. She said something about how she shouldn’t bother with me anymore because I was always going to choose you over her. I… I didn’t even know I was doing it.”

Audrey felt so exposed as Emma observed her carefully. She trusted Emma, and it was hardly a new experience to be vulnerable with her, but Emma had a way of making her squirm. “I know it can be hard to recognize things like that about yourself,” she said finally, with a small sigh. “What did you tell her?”

“That it’s  _ not a choice,” _ Audrey answered, firmly repeating it again. “With either of you. When I thought I might lose Brooke, it terrified me. It made me sick to my stomach and I was miserable, you can ask Noah. It would be the same with you.”

“Okay,” Emma said. She took a deep breath, reaching up to rub the space between her eyes. “As long as you guys talked about it and she's okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Audrey muttered.

“Don’t apologize to  _ me,” _ Emma told her, shaking her head. She reached up to touch Audrey’s cheek. “I’m frustrated with you, yeah. But… I know you’re not trying to hurt anyone. I’m not mad at you.”

“I just feel like such a mess _. _ I keep making stupid mistakes like this and it feels like I’m never gonna be good enough for either of you.” Audrey looked up at Emma, not pulling away from her touch. 

“Maybe you should let us decide that,” Emma pointed out, offering a small smile. “And I think that taking Brooke on this date is probably a step in the right direction.”

Audrey nodded, eager. “I’m like… genuinely pissed that I never thought about it before. She deserves more.”

“Yeah, she deserves a lot of things,” Emma agreed, her smile widening. “Maybe between the two of us we can actually do something about that.”

Audrey smiled back, feeling a little better. Emma was probably right, she should be allowing people to make their own decisions about her, rather than immediately assuming that they should hate her. It was something that she was working on. The therapy helped.

“Hey,” Emma said, scooting closer so she could wrap her arms around Audrey. “I care about you. I could never choose either.”

Audrey took a deep breath, holding tight onto Emma. Somehow just the scent of Emma’s skin could make her feel better, safer.  When she finally pulled back again, she felt much steadier. Things were starting to click for her, maybe. “So this date…”

Emm’s entire face lit up as a wide grin spread across her features. “I have some ideas.”

Audrey responded with a matching grin as she listened to Emma pour out all the ideas and plans she’s been concocting so far. She even grabbed one of Audrey’s notebooks and started scribbling down different notes and ideas. Brooke  _ did  _ deserve this. She deserved big shows of affection and flowers and chocolate covered strawberries. Honestly, thank god that Emma was here to help her with this kind of stuff. Calculus could wait.

* * *

After speaking with Emma, Audrey still kind of felt like shit now that she realized just how oblivious she’d been this entire time. Emma was letting her off easy, probably only because she knew Audrey was already gonna beat herself up about it, but the point remained that she had been a jerk to Brooke. She’d been too stupid to notice, but that wasn’t even remotely an excuse. God, she really needed to get her shit together.

After some planning with Emma and working through a decent chunk of her calculus homework, she drove to Brooke’s house to talk, stopping by one of their regular spots to pick up take-out sushi as a peace offering. She let herself in, finding Brooke in the living room with her own homework spread out in front of her. She’d officially been accepted to Columbia, which meant she was working harder than any of them to maintain her GPA. Audrey had admittedly caught a case of senioritis herself, but Brooke was still plugging away, just as dutiful as ever. It was admirable, really.

She dropped onto the couch next to Brooke and sent her a fond look. “Ready for a break? I brought spicy tuna.”

“Thank god,” Brooke said with a sigh, immediately dropping her pencil. She leaned to take a quick kiss as Audrey handed off her go-to sushi order. “I’m  _ starving.” _

“Anytime, babe,” Audrey smirked, pulling out chopsticks for the both of them so they could share. “Really, I’m just here to wait on you hand and foot and tell you how pretty you are.”

“You can cross one of those off your list,” Brooke replied, just before stuffing spicy tuna into her mouth.

“Yeah, well. I’ve still got all night. I’m pacing myself.”

They fell silent as they ate, as Audrey tried to think of what she was going to say. She never seemed to be able to say things how she planned anyway, though, so she didn’t know why she bothered. They never could to stick to the script that she came up with in her head.

Audrey bit her lip and turned to face Brooke, setting what was left of the sushi aside. “Um. I was hoping we could talk, actually.”

Brooke furrowed her brows, swallowing a mouthful before she spoke. “Should I be worried?”

Audrey shook her head. “It’s nothing like that, I swear. It’s just… I guess I’ve been thinking,” she continued. She reached out to take Brooke’s hand, idly playing with her fingers. “Look, I know I’ve been a jerk. There’s a lot of things that I haven’t done right by you, and I’ve done a lot of apologizing ever since… Ever since I fucked up during the trial. Before that, too.”

“Audrey,” Brooke started, confused. “We really don’t have to talk about that, you don’t have to keep apolo–”

“I do, Brooke,” she insisted, squeezing Brooke’s hand. “You pointed out to me how I was acting with you and Emma, that I was… Choosing. Even if I didn’t mean to, even if that’s the last thing I want. I had no idea I was even doing it, Brooke, and I told you then that I could never purposefully choose between you and Emma.”

Brooke fell silent, still holding onto Audrey’s hand. She watched Audrey warily, still keeping her guard up. There had been a wall there between them for several weeks now, which Audrey knew she deserved. She knew it would be a long time before she could earn Brooke’s full trust back.

“I told you all of that when I was literally begging for you to take me back,” Audrey continued, not looking away from Brooke for a second. This probably wasn’t what Brooke expected when Audrey asked to come over, but Audrey didn’t want to wait. She needed to say this. “That doesn’t make it any less real, but I also don’t want you to ever look back and wonder if that was the only reason I said it. Because it isn’t, I meant it then and I mean it now. Being with you and Emma both, that’s… a dream, honestly.  _ This _ is what I choose.”

There was a long, drawn-out silence while Brooke’s eyes flicked over Audrey’s features, her expression unreadable. Thankfully, she didn’t wait too long before speaking, her voice soft and low. “I don’t know where this is coming from, but I’m not gonna question it. And I’ve… done some thinking, too. I should’ve waited to call Emma over. Given you a chance to be ready.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, you couldn’t have known I was going to snap like that,” Audrey insisted, shaking her head. “It’s not an excuse.”

“It’s not,” Brooke agreed, reaching over to hold Audrey’s face in her hands, gently threading her fingers through black hair. She leaned forward to press a soft kiss to the corner of Audrey’s mouth. “But I think I get it, and I don’t want you to beat yourself up over it. We’ve all made mistakes, Audrey. We all make bad decisions. Honestly, it’s a wonder that we’re alive.”

There was a lot of truth to that. At this point, Audrey was convinced that it had more to do with pure dumb luck than anything else. Still, she also couldn’t forget that a lot of those bad decisions had been hers and hers alone. “I guess it just feels like I’ve made more mistakes than anyone. Which, okay, I know I’m not supposed to look at it like that, but it doesn’t really stop me from feeling that way.”

Brooke moved into Audrey’s lap and wrapped her arms around Audrey’s shoulders to hold her close, one hand cradling her head. “No, you probably shouldn’t look at it like that, but I guess that’s what therapy’s for.”

Audrey laughed softly, holding onto Brooke just as tightly before pulling back a little to look at her. “Then I suppose it’s good I’m actually doing that, now.”

“Yeah, but it’s also not like you’re the only one who needs it,” Brooke reminded her, smoothing the short hair at the back of her neck. “I still go to therapy. Emma goes to therapy like it’s her new religion.”

“I mean, sure,” Audrey conceded, smiling. “But that’s not really because of her own bad decisions.”

_ “Please,” _ Brooke scoffed. “Come on, look at her track record. Kieran, Will…  _ Eli? _ Obviously Emma makes only bad decisions.”

Audrey scrunched her nose, making a face. “Okay, but that’s just her dating habits.”

“God,” Brooke said, coming to a sudden realization. “If Emma likes me, then I  _ must  _ be a poor choice.”

“Now I know  _ that’s  _ not true.”

“You can’t tell me there isn’t a clear pattern!” she argued, laughing.

“Yeah, and Emma also used to think she was straight,” Audrey pointed out with a grin. “I can’t exactly speak for her, but there’s at least a possibility that had something to do with it. At least she didn’t date a teacher.”

“At least he never  _ murdered  _ anyone.”

Audrey raised her eyebrows at Brooke pointedly.

“Probably. That we know of.” Brooke’s lip curled in distaste. “Oh my god, I  _ do  _ deserve Emma.”

“So what the hell does that make me?” Audrey asked. She felt like she should be offended, but she was laughing anyway.

A wide grin spread across Brooke’s lips and she kissed her, pulling Audrey in by the back of her neck. It was one of those kisses that stole Audrey’s breath and left stars behind her eyelids, the kind that Brooke was so good at springing on her when she least expected it. “Definitely a mistake.”

Audrey was still too dazed to come back with anything, instead chasing Brooke’s lips for another kiss before she could pull away fully. It wasn’t gentle, but it never had been with them. Brooke had a way of making her hungry.

“I love you,” Brooke murmured against her lips, making her smile. If Brooke really thought Audrey was a mistake, she didn’t seem all that sorry for it.

* * *

Despite her talk with Brooke, she still didn't feel completely at ease with the sudden realization that she had been treating Emma and Brooke differently. It didn't seem like it was because of anything either of  _ them _ were doing, so she elected to bring it up with Josh instead. This was what therapy was for, right?

To his credit, he noticed as soon as she walked in that she had an agenda, this time.

"Heeey, Audrey, what's up?” he said as she strode into his office. He gestured to the sofa across from his chair. “Something on your mind?"

"Yeah,” she nodded, her brow furrowed. Even after she sat down, she still bounced her leg anxiously. “Yeah, actually. Is there something wrong with me?"

"… Um.” Josh blinked. “In what sense?”

Audrey gnawed on her bottom lip before answering. "So like, both of my girlfriends seem to think I love one of them more than the other. But I don't. I love them both. Equally. And isn't that the kind of thing I'd be the expert on?”

Josh peered at her, brows furrowed in confusion. “Could I maybe get some context for this?"

Audrey sighed, glancing down at her shoes. She still couldn't get her leg to stay still. "So Emma and I started planning a big romantic date with Brooke the other day, and in the middle of that she found out I haven't really taken Brooke out on a date before now and she got really pissed. Like, since I took her out, I was shafting Brooke on purpose. And Brooke seemed to assume for months that I loved Emma more than her, so clearly I'm doing something to make them think like that."

"Did you avoid taking Brooke out on purpose?" he asked.

"No, of course not!” Audrey shook her head earnestly. “We were dating in secret, obviously I couldn’t take her out."

Josh narrowed his eyes at her, the way she’d come to realize he always did when he was about to call her out on something. "So why does it sound like you're trying to justify that to me?"

“Because…” she protested, looking up at him. “Because, I dunno, it's true, but also it's because I…  _ forgot _ to take her out? No, that's not exactly it. I just didn't think of it. And that makes me  _ know _ I'm doing something wrong, because otherwise I'm actually a terrible girlfriend and human being. And you all keep telling me that's not true–”

“Well, it's not,” Josh interrupted. “Let's start there. Remember, I told you, we're all fucked up somehow, but if we weren't, we wouldn't be people.”

Audrey rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I know. ‘We'd be dogs.’”

"Good deal,” he nodded, smiling. “Now. Why do you think you didn't do the same things with Emma you did with Brooke?"

"... I don't know? I want to say it felt more… natural, but that's not right.” Audrey chewed on her lip again as she tried to decipher her thoughts. “Um. I guess with Emma I always kind of knew what we were doing? Like, what to do with her. But I was a lot less clear on the ground rules for turning your friend with benefits into your secret girlfriend.”

“Sure. Seems reasonable,” Josh agreed.

"And it wasn't even until, like, a month or two ago that I even thought of Brooke as my girlfriend,” she continued. “She was just my…  _ something. _ I don't know if there's a word for our relationship status back then.”

"...It's complicated?" Josh suggested helpfully.

Audrey smirked. "Thank you, Facebook."

"Mark Zuckerberg's a visionary, what can I say?" Josh chuckled. He tilted his head at her again, considering. "... Can I suggest something else?”

Audrey shrugged. “I mean, you're the therapist. Isn't that what I'm paying you for?”

"Yeah, but it tends to go better if I ask first."

She rolled her eyes again, smiling. "Fine. Okay. Shoot."

"How long have you had a crush on Emma?"

Audrey wasn't expecting that. “… That wasn't a suggestion. That was a question."

Josh shrugged, bemused. "I'm a therapist. It's what we do."

"Shit, you’re really asking?” she asked. She'd kind of hoped that he was joking. “Um. I don't remember when it started, really, but I remembered I realized it was a crush near the end of seventh grade, this one time she slept over because her parents had a fight. They were already divorced by then but it was still hard for her. She was crying and she held onto me and I… all I wanted was to protect her."

"I can see how that could leave an impression,” Josh nodded. “So you've been daydreaming about what it would be like to date Emma for, what, like five years now?"

Had it really been that long? “... Give or take."

"And Brooke was something you just kinda fell into?"

"That's one way to put it,” Audrey replied, shrugging. “I don't think I even spoke to her before that party after Nina died last year. Not voluntarily, anyway.”

"Do you think those things might affect how you treat them now?"

Audrey snorted.

Josh raised his eyebrows at her curiously. “What?"

"That's kind of a stupid question, right?” Audrey replied, like it was obvious. “Of course it does. How could it not? I don't even see why you'd ask me–"

Josh stared back at her pointedly.

Audrey blinked.  _ “Oh. _ Um. Did anyone ever tell you that you're good at your job?"

He gave her a good-natured smile, shrugging. "Once or twice."

“But I love them both the same now,” Audrey said, shaking her head. “Isn't that what matters?"

"Of course it does,” Josh replied, assuring her. “If you didn't feel that way, I'd be giving you very different relationship advice right now. But humans are creatures of habit, you know? The places we come from, our biases, affect us in ways that we usually can't even recognize. That's why you talk to people like me, to identify and break out of those bad habits."

“Are you saying the way I treat Brooke is a bad habit?"

"I don't know. It could be,” he shrugged. “Do you think it is?"

Audrey furrowed her brows, thinking hard on it. “I want to change it, so, um. Probably something like that."

“See, you just answered your own question."

“Fuck,” Audrey sighed, laughing softly as she leaned back on the sofa. “I swear you're like a jedi or something."

Josh laughed. “No, just went to a lot of classes on this."

"In Dagobah, though, right?" she smirked back it him.

“Different name. Same weather, though.”

Audrey laughed again, shaking her head. She ran her hand through her hair, trying to massage her brain back into a more relaxed state. She did feel better, at least.

"My secret identity as a jedi master aside, though,” Josh continued. “Have you and Brooke ever talked about how you both compare your relationship to yours and Emma?"

“Um. A little. We've been trying,” Audrey nodded, thinking back to just a few night ago when she’d interrupted Brooke’s study session with sushi. That had been a good night. “Like you said about habits. I think she knows she shouldn't do it, that it's not healthy. And um. I do too. Now, at least."

“And have you talked about it with Emma?"

“What?” She snapped back to attention, a spike of anxiety shooting through her chest. “Why would I do that?”

Josh blinked at her, brows furrowed. “... Audrey. Because it's the most unfair to  _ her." _

She shook her head, already firmly rejecting the notion of having this conversation with Emma. "I don't get it."

“Alright,” he replied evenly, releasing a small sigh. “So, what would you do if Emma ever did something that made you want to break up with her?"

“I have no idea, because that would  _ never happen.” _

"Never?” Josh repeated, an eyebrow raised questioningly. “You've never fought?”

“God, obviously we've fought,” she corrected. “Like, a lot. Maybe too much, I don't know. But It's always because of something I did.”

"Really?" he asked, tilting his head at her again.

“I'm the fuckup, right?” she reminded him. “Emma doesn't really… I guess there was that thing with Kieran, and her not believing me, but I don't really blame her for that. Or that thing with her dad?"

"Her dad? I don't think we talked about that."

"Oh,” Audrey said, blinking. “Well, like, there was this time Emma's dad came back into town last year and she asked me what he was like when we were kids and I told her he was a dick and she… didn't like that answer. She didn't really believe me until she found him fighting with some guy at a bar, drunk off his ass, right before leaving town without saying a word. But I can't really blame her for wanting to believe she was like the one person we know without a shitty father, y'know?"

"Ah,” he replied knowingly, nodding. “So she does fuck up, then, Just like you."

Audrey shook her head, immediately on the defensive. “No, that wasn't it at all!"

“Why are you making excuses for her?"

"I'm not!” she protested, sitting up on the edge of her seat. “She just, like, it's not her fault that–"

“Audrey, it's okay,” he stopped her, raising a hand to try and calm her. “I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just trying to understand. Or, help you understand, really."

Audrey deflated, still furrowing her brow at him. "Understand what?"

"Have you ever heard of cognitive dissonance?" Josh asked.

Audrey tried to make sense of those two words together. She knew that cognitive meant thought or thinking or something like that, be she only knew dissonance in the context of music. “Uh,” she narrowed her eyes at him as she tried to put those two words together before she promptly gave up. “Nope. No, I haven't."

"It's this thing our brains do,” Josh explained, “that when we're faced with facts or observations that contradict our opinions or view of reality, we tend to warp the facts to fit our reality rather than try to figure out how to make them work together. Wanna take a stab at why I'm mentioning this?"

It wasn't difficult to figure out, but it was a lot harder to admit. "Because you think that's what I've been doing with Emma."

“I do,” he nodded gently. "That's why it's not fair to her, to compare the actual Emma to the person you've built her up to be in your head all these years–"

“Because either she'll fuck up and not live up to it, or I'll be like those guys dating manic pixie dream girls and pretending they're someone else so it's okay. Fuck. Like full on  _ 500 Days of Summer.” _ The realization felt like a kick to the gut and left her feeling winded. “Fuck, I need so much therapy."

“I'm going to choose to count that as a breakthrough,” Josh added, offering a small smile.

“Really?” she asked, disbelieving. “Me realizing how fucked up I am is a breakthrough?"

“Yes, it is,” he insisted. “Because you can't stop doing something you don't even know you're doing. Not easily, anyway."

She blinked at him with her mouth still hanging open before hanging her head to stare at the floor.  _ “Fuck.” _

“Hey. Rule number three,” Josh prodded.

“Uh. Isn't that the one about regret?” she asked, lifting her head to look up at him. “Or moping or whatever?"

“‘People mope over their mistakes. Dogs move on.’”

Audrey nodded and looked away, rolling her eyes as she completed the rest of the pseudo-mantra along with him. “Yeah, yeah, ‘be more like dogs.’ Have any of your clients accused you of being a furry before?"

“Yes, actually,” he replied candidly.

Audrey sent him a wary look. “... Um."

“A jedi master never reveals his secrets."

Audrey laughed, choosing to believe he was joking. He was way too good of a therapist and she wasn't about to throw away all this progress just because he might be a furry.

Josh glanced at the clock on his desk before turning back to her. “So. What are we going to do this week to 'fuck up less', as you put it?"

She thought for a second, putting together a mental list she could be satisfied with. “Be more like dogs. And take Brooke out on more dates. I can't believe those two things are somehow related. Uh. And I'm not really sure what to do about this whole… Emma stuff."

“That's okay,” Josh assured her, turning to his desk so he could finish up some final notes. “It's a lot to process. We'll definitely work on it more next time. Though, honestly, just being aware of it will probably help you start to change quite a bit."

“Yeah,” she nodded, standing up from her seat on the sofa. “Yeah, okay, I'm good leaving that for next time. I guess I'll leave you to your next appointment or whatever, then."

He grinned up at her, waving happily. “Make good choices!"

“You know that's a cliché, right?" she laughed, pausing at the door.

“Cliches work!"

Audrey shook her head, smiling as she turned to leave. “Whatever!”


	18. i'm sure we can find something for you to do on stage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feels like we've been saying this every chapter we post but fucking bless you if you're still around and giving our fic some tlc. we love you. here is a chapter about healing.

After packing up and saying goodbye to Emma and Brooke, it was time to hit the road with Noah and Stavo. They were headed to one of Atlanta’s regular nerd conventions to promote the upcoming release of the marginally fictionalized retelling of the Lakewood murders—penned by Noah himself—but Audrey was mainly there for the free ride. She put a lot of effort into doing her best to forget that Noah and Stavo had even produced the graphic novel in the first place, but she could at least try to appreciate where it was coming from.

When Noah first told her that they were going to publish and sell the novel as serialized comic books, she’d been  _ livid. _ It felt dirty, like they were profiting off of everything they'd all been through, but eventually Noah had been able to convince her to come around on it. Mostly. Realistically they probably wouldn’t even end up making that much from it, maybe just enough to put them through college, and Audrey could see that Noah had noble intentions. He had taken it upon himself to make sure that the lasting narrative of their experiences was the  _ correct _ one, not the inevitable bastardization that some novelist or hollywood screenwriter would try to push. Audrey had even read a little bit of it, though she’d only been able to stomach so much. It was enough to see that they were telling it right, as much as they could. Names were changed, and some of the most incriminating and embarrassing details were omitted—which Audrey appreciated. There were some things she didn’t exactly want to publicize, and she was glad Noah was in their corner.

Regardless, she fully intended to ignore as much of the graphic novel bullshit as she could and instead bury herself in the full-on nerd experience that she so rarely got to indulge in. She had tried explaining some of this stuff to Brooke and Emma once, but it was pretty clear right away that neither of them understood much of it. That was okay too, she appreciated the effort nevertheless. The fact that they even tried meant more, really.

Because she was only planning to stay for two days, she followed Noah and Stavo to Atlanta in her own car. They were sticking around all the way through until Monday morning, but Audrey wasn’t sure if she was ready for quite that much con fun. All of the good stuff was happening on Friday and Saturday, anyway.

They arrived late Friday afternoon and checked into their hotel without trouble, and the publishers had left their con passes at the desk. It wasn’t the fanciest hotel—it almost certainly wasn’t up to Brooke’s standards—but it  _ was  _ pretty nice. And luckily the room came with two queens and a hideaway bed in the sofa, so she didn’t have to think too hard about sleeping arrangements.

Once they arrived on the con floor, they pretty much had free reign to do whatever they wanted. Noah and Stavo’s panel wasn’t until tomorrow, and they didn’t have any prep meetings or anything like that.

“So what first?” Audrey asked, a little overwhelmed by all the choices laid out before them. There were booths shoved into every corner of the big floor, and she wasn’t even sure where to begin.

“We could start with the video games,” Noah suggested, standing as tall as he could to try and get a better view over the already massive crowd. Honestly he looked like a kid in a candy store, mainly because that’s exactly what this was to him.

Audrey looked over to Stavo, who didn’t exactly look hyped about the video game suggestion, but he shrugged.

“Yeah, sure,” she nodded. The video game demo floor was probably one of the things she was most looking forward to, and she didn’t mind getting in on that early. “Seems as good a place to start as any.”

They made their way over to the video game booths, where indie developers and large studios alike had different demonstrations and displays laid out to highlight their new and upcoming releases. They got to play around with a Playstation VR headset for a little, which was cool as hell, even if Stavo had taken on a pale shade of green after his turn. It took them all night, but they managed to hit on pretty much all of the video game stuff that they’d wanted to. By the time they stumbled back to their room Audrey barely had time to send Brooke and Emma a quick text before she swiftly fell asleep on the shitty hideaway bed.

The next morning, all three of them woke late. That had been planned, though, so they weren’t missing anything too important. There was pretty much just panels going on in the mornings at these cons, but none they were interested in, so they wandered through the board game booths until lunch when Noah was stolen away to go shmooze with some high-up industry folks. Which left Audrey alone with Stavo to find their own food.

Somehow they wound up in a Chik-fil-A down the street, and Audrey had no idea what she and Stavo were supposed to talk about for the next hour that they’d have to spend alone over their homophobic chicken.

“So, um,” she said, clearing her throat. “This is all pretty cool, huh?”

Stavo looked up at her with a blank expression. “Yeah, it’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, you guys are like… published. Published authors,” she continued, hoping she didn’t look like she was in as much pain as she felt from trying to force this flimsy excuse for a conversation. “That’s super cool.”

“You said that,” he pointed out, still looking at her blankly from behind his chicken sandwich. Honestly Audrey didn’t understand how Noah spent so much time around Stavo. What did they even talk about? She had a hard time believing that writing the comic books took up all their time.

“Right,” she replied. At least she’d tried.

“It’s cool of you to come along,” Stavo added, tilting his head at her a little. “To show support, or whatever.”

Audrey’s eyes snapped back up to him, a little surprised by his rare public display of actual human emotion.

“This comic book is weird for you, I get that,” he continued, shrugging. “But the fact that you came with us means a lot to Noah. Even if he doesn’t say it.”

Shit. Maybe Stavo Acosta wasn’t a heartless tin man after all. She knew that she’d always been  a little unfair when it came to her attitude toward Stavo—she still felt guilty about getting his drawing tablet smashed by an angry mob of teenagers—but she’d never had to face it until now. “Yeah, well. I’m glad that he’s the one who’s telling our story. It’s not like anyone else would have gotten it right.”

Stavo smirked, almost fondly. “Yeah, you wouldn’t believe how much sleep he’s lost over this thing. He didn't want to make any of you re-live everything again, so he did all this research on his own… It was crazy, I think there were a few weeks he was running purely on caffeine and righteous fury.”

Noah had never told her that. She’d always just assumed that he’d written everything from memory, she never stopped to think that he might have had to go back and research, but it made sense now that she was actually thinking about it. Noah hadn’t actually been there for everything in person.

“Anyway, Noah will never tell you any of that,” Stavo said, fidgeting with his waffle fries. “And he’ll never thank you for coming either. So I am.”

“I…appreciate it,” she told him, brows furrowed. She meant it sincerely. She still had a lot of mixed feelings about the whole thing, but it did make her feel better to know all this. “Your work isn’t too shabby either, you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” Stavo grinned, laughing. “Don’t worry about me, I’m not in this for the compliments.”

Audrey shook her head, bemused. “Then what are you doing it for?”

Stavo shrugged from across the cheap table. “College money, a head start on a kick-ass portfolio. Getting to be a part of something important.”

“I see.”

“The free con swag ain’t half bad either,” he smirked.

Audrey laughed, a little more at ease. “Yeah, I guess that is a pretty compelling argument.”

“Yeah, you should be jealous,” Stavo nodded, laughing. “Maybe you’d actually be able to find something for Emma and Brooke like you said you would.”

"It’s been like one day!” Audrey protested. “Jeez, can’t I take my time?”

He shook his head, grinning. “If you actually find something here that Brooke likes I will literally eat my tablet.”

“Yeah, well,” she nodded, puffing up her chest. “I have all day, so you better start getting ready. Do some stretches.”

It was weird. It was almost like she and Stavo were  _ friends. _

* * *

So, her first run at the vendor hall  _ might _ not have been completely successful. In her defense, they were barely inside for ten minutes before they had to leave to meet Noah for their big afternoon panel. How was she supposed to know that there was going to be a thirty minute long line to get into the building to go shopping? Honestly, Brooke might have more in common with these people than anybody could guess.

The panel was, of course, the reason they were all attending the con free of charge. It was apparently just supposed to be some small, hour long Q&A session in the late afternoon when most congoers were busy grabbing dinner and preparing for the evening’s various revelries. Audrey had expressed much skepticism—as had Brooke and Emma—that anyone would show up to ask questions about a comic that only had two issues out so far, but Noah had repeated their publicist’s conviction that “the positive word of mouth from these events was truly  _ irreplaceable _ ” that it had practically become an inside joke among the five of them. (The relevant Beyonce song has been at the top of Audrey’s Spotify playlists for a solid month.)

They met up with Noah at the VIP room on the panel floor, where he was waiting with some guy cosplaying The Doctor (Matt Smith version), whom he calls his “handler.” Apparently, cons usually assign a person to lead guests around to panels to make sure they don’t get lost, or take a wrong turn and wind up in the middle of the audience and get mobbed. (Audrey was pretty doubtful the second would ever be a concern in their case, but she was still thankful for any moment she didn’t have to spend trying to interpret the confusing floor map on her cell phone yet again.)

The Doctor—as Audrey elected to call him, as his con badge also read Noah and she  _ really _ only had room for one ultra nerdy white guy named Noah in her life—led them through a back hallway to a small waiting area behind a thick black curtain at the side of the stage where the panel was soon to occur. She could clearly see the name signs reading “Noah Foster” and “Gustavo Acosta” awaiting their guests beside stand mics and glasses of water, a familiar sight from panels she’d watched online. She wasn’t the only one to notice, either.

“Well, would you look at that,” Stavo said as he nudged Noah, pointing towards the signs on the table. “Looks like we’re famous, hotshot comic book writers or something.”

“Heh. Yeah. Uh, something like that.” Noah, for his part, did not look nearly as thrilled at the sight—in fact, he was a distinct shade of pale that Audrey hadn’t seen since their field trip to that creepy abandoned hospital last year.

“Dude, what’s up?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him. “I thought you would be like, drooling at the chance of talking about your  _ own horror comic books _ in front of a crowd as they chant your name or whatever.”

Stavo smirked, arms folded across his chest. “Don’t forget the screaming, fainting fangirls.”

“Sure, but that excludes the  _ other _ con guest experience,” Noah replied ruefully, “You know, where they all tell you about how much they hate you and your art, and throw rotten fruit at you. Would it be fruit? Oh, god, do you think they throw fake blood instead at horror panels?”

“You seriously need to chill, dude,” Audrey said, a crooked smile tugging at her lips. “I still have my doubts that there will even be that many weird goth horror fans around to throw their fake organs at you or whatever.”

And to prove it, she poked her head around the black curtain just for a second to look—she would be much less noticeable than Stavo or Noah, on the off chance any of these people knew what they looked like.

And, well, apparently that curtain was also sound dampening, because Audrey was very immediately hit by a wave of noise as she looked out at what appeared to be a completely packed house. Every chair she could see was filled, and the people still streaming in were starting to line up along the walls and sit in the aisles as they excitedly waited the panel for the panel to start in no more than a few minutes.

Audrey cleared her throat as she pulled her head back and swiftly pulled the curtain shut again. “... by which I mean, there could be a lot of them because you’re incredibly talented and successful and you’re gonna do great out there.”

“Oh, god, how many?” Noah rushed to the curtain before Audrey could stop him, pulling the curtain back just enough to peak through with one eye. When he backed away he looked even paler. “I don’t have to go on if I pass out, right? Wait, if I do that it’ll be all over the internet by the time I’m conscious again—”

Stavo reached to clap his hand to Noah’s shoulder, maybe partially to steady him. “Relax, dude, it’s just podcasting with a live audience. And you’re great at podcasting.”

The Doctor then shuffled in, with a short and stout—but very kindly—woman in tow.  “And you won’t be alone, either! This is one of our best moderators, she’s been doing panels on the horror track for almost a decade now.”

The woman was dressed entirely in black, with dramatic makeup and a black wig. Audrey couldn’t place it for sure, but it looked like some kind of updated Morticia Addams getup.

Her round face split into a bright grin as she stepped forward, hand extended “Noah! Stavo! I’m so excited to meet you guys. I’m Lady Minerva, or I guess Stacey if that makes you feel better. I  _ loved _ your first issue. Whose idea was it to increase the cel-shading and darken the colors as the characters get more paranoid and fearful?”

And, of course, that set Noah off immediately. No matter how nervous he was, he could never resist the urge to answer someone’s question and dispense pointless trivia if he knew the answer. (She’d listened to him prattle off in the middle of life and death situations that rolling her eyes at his antics felt rote, at this point.)

By the time Noah was prattling off about who did this and who did that, it was time for the panel to start—which Audrey didn’t think he even realized until Minerva had to cut him off. “Hey, Noah—that’s an amazing story, but save it for the stage, maybe?” she said, teasing him a little, but not in an unfriendly way. “I’ll ask it as one of my warm up questions. Speaking of which—I’m gonna go out, ramp up the crowd, and then introduce you—just walk up when the Doctor prompts you, and we’ll do some warm up questions before starting in on the audience questions. I can already tell you’re gonna do great!” And with that, she left them and stepped out to the stage, welcomed by the wild applause of the crowd, excited to see the panel finally starting.

Audrey stepped up to both Noah and Stavo, having been lurking slightly behind them. “See? Nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah,” Noah replied, his voice breaking just a little, just enough for Audrey to catch it. She glanced toward Stavo, exchanging a knowing smile with him.

“You guys ready to talk about some Lakewood High School Horror?” came Minerva’s voice from behind the curtain, amplified by the microphone she was speaking into. There was a monitor speaker set up behind stage so they could hear the mic feed clearly, as well as the slightly muffled cheers from the responding crowd. “Well, aren’t you in luck, cause I have with me today the guys who are experts in that! Please welcome the genius behind every bloody panel, Gustavo Acosta!”

Stavo gave them both a smirk and a nod before turning to walk out onto the stage. She couldn’t see him, but from judging from the cheers, he seemed to be handling himself well.

“You ready, Champ?” Audrey asked Noah, squeezing his shoulder.

“As I’ll ever be, I think,” he responded. He took in a deep breath and squared his jaw.

Minerva’s voice sounded from the speaker once more, announcing Noah’s entrance. “And here comes the man, the myth, the legend and voice behind both  _ Lakewood 6 _ and The Morgue, Noah Foster!”

“You’ll do great.” Audrey gave him last clap on the shoulder, before spinning him around and ushering him out from behind the curtain. She was almost proud of him, as long as she didn’t think too hard about what they were actually here for.

“The sound guys are working on setting up the mics for the audience, so we’ll start with a few of my own questions.” The crowd had settled and Audrey assumed Noah and Stavo had found their seats as the moderator started speaking. Time for the big show. “I know I can’t be the only one who held onto  those first two issues with an iron grip when I first got them, you both paint such a vivid picture—literally, in Mr. Acosta’s case.” Laughter followed, and Audrey had to roll her eyes a little. She was already mentally checking out of the whole thing.

“What’s your inspiration?” Minerva asked, as if it wasn’t the most stupid question Audrey had ever heard in her life.  _ Three gruesome, semi-related killing sprees in the same sleepy Georgia town. Next. _

The questions continued, and at least most weren’t quite as inane as that first.  _ How long of a run do you think you’ll do? Favorite horror movie? _ And so on and so forth, in a seemingly endless stream. Audrey had already pulled out her phone and started texting Brooke and Emma about how bored she was. Would anyone even notice if she tried to sneak out?

She sighed and peeked out from behind the curtain again, counting on the crowd’s attention to be firmly on the stage. It was the first chance she’d gotten to take more than a glancing look at the larger-than-expected audience. About a third of the crowd was wearing black, which on its own wasn’t all that concerning (she wore plenty of black on a regular basis herself) but it was definitely disturbing given that the black was accompanied by a peppering of ghost face masks and thick black-rimmed glasses. She even thought she saw someone who was trying to emulate Kieran’s slicked back hair and leather jacket combo. She felt a sickening lump form in the pit of her stomach as she tore her gaze away.

Up until then, Audrey had been able to successfully put it out of her head, the fact that this comic book—this piece of literature that people called themselves  _ fans _ of—was very much rooted in her own experiences. And she had just looked out onto a mob of Pipers and Kierans.

Almost involuntarily, Audrey felt her hands tighten into fists.

It was almost as if she had completely blacked out, because the next thing she remembered was being shaken out of her infuriated trance by the sound of the crowd shuffling around and making noise as Minerva attempted to maintain order.

“We’ve got two mics on each side and ready to go for questions,” she announced, directly fans to either side. “We’ll switch between them until the hour’s up!”

At least the first guy up was dressed normally, thank god. (Well, normal considering the current company. It was just a Star Wars t-shirt.)

“Hey my name is Brian and, Noah, I am a  _ huge _ fan of the podcast!” the dude breathed, smiling excitedly up at the stage. He looked to be in his early twenties, with a neatly-trimmed but still ill-advised goatee adorning his chin. “I think you’re an even better host than Piper was.”

Stavo cut in with a lazy smirk. “Well, he hasn’t murdered anyone so far.”

“That you know of!” Noah pointed out, clearly much more comfortable than he had been just fifteen or so minutes ago. “I mean. I haven’t murdered anyone. Obviously.”

“My question is—well, really, it’s a two part question,” this guy—Brian—started, leaning a bit too close to the mic. “What is your favorite episode you’ve done so far, and what crime would you like to do a podcast on that you haven’t yet? Oh, and are there any podcasts you want to guest on?”

Noah had started to answer but Audrey could hardly hear him. Not when there was some bitch waiting at the other mic with a ghostface mask pulled up to show her face. The only thing Audrey could hear was the rushing of blood in her ears.

Star Wars t-shirt attempted to squeeze in another question in but the moderator cut him off. “Aaaand thanks for that great question, Brian! Next person, please.”

The audience’s attention turned toward the girl in her fucking ghostface getup. “Hey so, I just wanted to know, what was it like to get phone calls from a serial killer? Did Kieran sound, you know, ominous or just crazy? Why didn’t you call the police afterwards?”

Silence fell like a heavy curtain as Noah and Stavo glanced nervously at each other. Noah finally cleared his throat, awkwardly. “Well, uh, I don’t really talk about my real life experiences, because that’s personal. But for the  _ characters _ , the reason Anna doesn’t go to the police after the second phone call in the latest issue, is—”

The questions continued and Noah and Stavo kept themselves in good spirits as they continued to answer question after question, but Audrey could hardly pay attention. Every time she caught sight of another douchebag dressed as a serial killer, a cold chill crept down her back and that sick lump in her gut weighed heavier in her stomach. She was angry, she was nauseous, and her fight or flight instincts had launched off the charts. That’s what Josh had called it, anyway— fight or flight instincts. The primitive caveman part of her brain that made her want to punch her fist through a wall right there and then.

There was no leaving this behind. This is what they were all faced with, this was _ it. _ Weirdo fans and gross curiosity and surgical masks suddenly becoming the trendy new accessory sold in Hot Topic stores across the country. They were a product now. They were something to be consumed by the unwashed masses. And it wasn’t fucking  _ fair.  _ They’d weathered the storm, so where was their goddamned peace and quiet?

Audrey barely noticed when Minerva chimed in on her mic. “Fifteen more minutes!”

Some chick wearing a pair of glasses that looked  _ exactly _ like Piper’s stepped up to one of the mics. “Did you ever think you might really die? What’s it like knowing you’ve been alone with someone who intended to kill you?”

Before either Noah or Stavo could even answer, Lady Minerva cut in.  _ “Well, _ as Noah said earlier, questions about real life experiences like that are off limits. So, next question.”

The next person looked normal enough, just some dumb teenage girl in a Voltron hoodie. She grinned with a hint of mischief as she spoke. “Boxers or briefs?”

Noah and Stavo visibly relaxed, laughing to each other at the question.

“Um, boxers?” Noah answered with a shrug. “I don’t usually put that much thought into it, honestly.”

Stavo turned to the girl with one of those piercing looks that teetered somewhere between smoldering and down right creepy. “Boxer-briefs. Black only.”

If she hadn’t been so busy being pissed, that would have left her groaning in annoyance. “Stavo’s underpants” ranked just below her current predicament on her list of least favorite things to think about.

The next person looked innocent enough—just some dorky kid in a Harry Potter shirt—but her stomach lurched once she heard what he had to ask.

“Is it  _ really  _ true that Audrey Jensen and Emma Duval are dating?”

Audrey felt like throwing up.

“Okay,  _ seriously _ , you guys?” The moderator stood from her seat, cutting him off with the screech of her chair against the floor as she scowled down at the audience. “I’m going to have to ask security to take the next person’s badge who—”

Noah’s chair slid back as he stood as well, interrupting Minerva. “No, you know what? Yes, they are. It’s not a secret and I assure you I have never seen either of them happier. Was that what you wanted to hear, huh?” His eyes blazed in anger, a muscle in the corner of his jaw twitching. Audrey could count on her hand the number times she’d seen him upset like this. “Was that the answer you were looking for? No, you know what? Shame on you. Shame on several of you, to have the, the  _ audacity,  _ the unmitigated  _ gall,  _ to stand up here and pry into our lives like that. To show us the disrespect of asking us to relive the most traumatic experiences of our lives for your goddamn  _ entertainment _ . Newsflash, people: if that’s all you want, copies of our comic are available at the con bookstore.”

He shook his head, his hands trembling at his sides. “If you have something to say about Audrey or Emma, or any of my very real friends, you can ram it down your own throats because I won’t hear it. Next fucking question.”

Someone could have dropped a pin and the silence of Hall F would’ve still been deafening.

“Great answer, truly.” Minerva said, finally cutting through the tension. “I’m glad you said that. Okay, last question!”

The last fan sheepishly stepped up to the mic. “When is the next issue coming out?”

Noah sighed, sitting back down. “Well, in two weeks, but we actually have a preview for you guys now…”0

Someone lowered the lights as a projector shone onto the white backdrop of the stage. Music starts playing and pictures start flashing onto the screen, stopping at a beautifully rendered but very eery image of four teenagers that looked unsettlingly familiar. They were all running down a hallway that looked exactly like the one next to Branson’s classroom back at George Washington. Piper towered above them and reached out with puppet string hanging from her fingers.

Noah’s voice filled her ears and she realized that she didn’t care what he had to say. For all his big speeches, this was all still just torture and tragedy porn. So it didn’t fucking matter.

Audrey was done.

At this point she didn’t even care if anyone saw her leave, but at least the lights were dimmed anyway. She ducked her head and darted through the back door.

Audrey couldn't believe what she’d just heard and witnessed. Whatever this was, this stupid panel, was a complete joke. Did none of these people think for a single second that they were talking about real people? About factual, real-life things that happened to her real-life friends. She wanted to rip the microphone out of the next person’s hand and verbally berate the entire audience, possibly after swiping someone across the face with said microphone.

But she didn't do that. Call it progress, or whatever.

She'd planned on staying at least a few more hours before starting her drive back to Lakewood but she didn't have the stomach for it any longer. On her way out she passed by the front door that the general audience had entered through, which was still wide open. She caught a glance through it just in time to see Noah and Stavo up on stage as the lights came back up, starting to sign things from the people who mobbed the front as the panel got out. Just in time for her to duck through the crowd and lose herself in it.

She pushed through the crowded con floor, knocking into several people in half-assed costumes. She thought she even saw someone in a black hood and Brandon James mask but it also might have been someone doing a really shitty No Face from  _ Spirited Away _ cosplay. Either way, it still wasn’t helping her current disposition and by the time she made it back to the hotel room she was practically in a full-on panic. She threw her things into her bag and scrawled out a hasty note to leave for Noah, kicking a bag full of Lakewood 6 swag from earlier that day on her way out. It was stupid, but it did make her feel a little better.

Her petty violence afforded her little comfort, however, when she hit evening rush hour traffic coming out of Atlanta. Part of the reason she’d originally intended to stay longer was to avoid that traffic, and now all it did was make her more angry. All she wanted to do was put miles between herself and every creep at that con, but apparently all of fucking Atlanta was on the road at the same time.

It wasn’t until she was out of the aggravating highway congestion and a half hour outside of the city that she was able to finally cool off and think for a more than a moment. She was about to reach for her phone to send Brooke and Emma a text and let them know she was heading back early when she realized it wasn’t in the seat next to her, or in the cupholder, or in her pocket. Instead, she now realized, it was miles away sitting in the hotel room she’d just left behind. She could picture it perfectly next to her bitter note on the dresser. She'd been so laser-focused on packing and getting out as fast as possible that she hadn't even thought of it until now. All she’d been able to think about was that stupid panel, to the point that even playing her favorite Slayer album at full blast couldn't block it out. It was way too late to turn back for her phone now, so she’d have to call Noah to have him bring it back for her.

It was another half an hour before she could find a town populated well enough that it felt safe to pull over and find a payphone. She didn't want to survive two murder sprees just to be hijacked at a janky rest-stop in the middle of nowhere. It took her some time and a few winding roads to find, but she eventually pulled up to a dirty Waffle House on the outskirts of Athens and poked her head inside, relieved to find a pay phone tucked in the back corner.

Approaching the counter, Audrey cleared her throat, catching the attention of a kindly middle-aged waitress.

“Um, sorry to bother you,” Audrey started, holding up a few dollar bills that she’d pulled from her wallet, “but is there any way you can break these for me? I have to use your pay phone and this is all I have.”

“Oh sure, honey,” the waitress replied, smiling. Audrey noticed now that her name tag read “Tracy,” and she looked a little tired, but Audrey was just glad that she was helping. Tracy took the bills from her and opened up the register, counting out quarters to hand back. “Here you are. You need any help working it?”

“I think I can figure it out,” Audrey replied, giving a flat smile as she shoved the pile of quarters into her pocket. “But thanks.”

“I'll be here, so just holler. The dinner rush is over and the bars won't empty out for another few hours so you won't be a bother at all.”

“Thanks,” Audrey repeated, backing toward the pay phone in the back. She’d never had to use one before in her life, but it couldn't be that hard right? Insert money and dial. There were probably instructions anyway.

She blinked at the contraption a few times once she approached it, trying to make sense of it. There were indeed instructions, thankfully, and after a few minutes she was able get it to let her call Noah. Which went to voicemail.

“Goddammit Noah, I know you're probably sucking up to some industry blowhard or whatever but couldn't you pick up?” she grumbled, probably a little more harshly than necessary. “I left my phone in the room, just bring it back with you? Please? I'll call you once I get back to Lakewood.”

She hung up with a huff, staring at the phone again. It had been almost three hours since she left Atlanta, which meant it had probably been over four since she’d last talked to Brooke or Emma. That was practically unheard of, these days. Were they okay? They were probably worried. She should probably call them to let them know what was going on.

She pulled out more quarters and dialed Brooke’s number. She and Emma were most likely together on a Saturday night, and Brooke had fewer negative experiences tied to getting phone calls from unknown numbers.

“Hello?” Brooke had picked up less than two rings in, and her voice sounded rougher than normal.

“Brooke, it's Audrey.”

_ “Audrey _ , where the hell are you?” came Brooke’s immediate answer. Judging from the urgency and the slight waver in her voice, Audrey was right about them worrying.

“I'm just outside Athens,” she explained, gripping onto the receiver like a vice. “I'm sorry, I left my phone back at the hotel and I didn't realize until it was already too late to go back for it. Are you guys okay? Is Emma there?”

“Okay? Audrey, we’re fine, we were worried about  _ you. _ We thought you weren't leaving to come home for another few hours. When we hadn't heard from you we called Noah, who had no idea where you’d gone.”

“I know, and I should have told you I was leaving,” Audrey told her, feeling more guilty by the second. How long had they been worrying like this? “But I guess I wasn't thinking, it was kind of a quick decision. I was at Noah and Stavo’s panel and people were asking all these questions and I… I couldn't stay. I had to leave.”

Brooke was silent for a several long moments, and all Audrey could hear from the other end was the sound of her rough, heavy breathing. “We were worried.  _ I _ was worried, Audrey. Just… here, talk to Emma.”

Audrey didn't have time to try and say anything else, since a split second later Emma’s voice came on the line, shortly followed by what sounded like a door shutting. “Audrey, is everything alright?”

“Relatively speaking, yeah. I'm safe, I'm in a Waffle House,” Audrey sighed, squeezing her eyes shut. “My phone is back at the hotel, I forgot it in the middle of packing.”

“Thank god you're okay,” Emma told her gently. She sounded much calmer than Brooke did, but Audrey could still hear the relief in her voice.

“I'm so sorry,” she begged. She felt like shit. They always had their phones on them,  _ always. _ It was a rule none of them had ever discussed, but it was a rule nevertheless. Just in case.

“It's okay, Audrey, things happen. As long as you're alright, that's all that matters.”

“What about Brooke?”

“She was just… scared. She was  _ really scared _ . The last time she had trouble getting ahold of someone–”

“Jake.” Audrey’s stomach sank. She hadn't left her phone behind in purpose, it had been an accident, but that didn't mean it didn't tear her up to think she'd just made Brooke relive even a part of that.

“She’ll be okay, she's tough. Just get back soon,” Emma insisted. “Get back  _ safe.” _

“I will, I promise,” she said, nodding eagerly even though nobody could see her aside from the two other customers and the waitress that had helped her earlier. “I'll drive the safest I've ever driven in my life and I'll be there as soon as I can. In like two-ish hours. I haven't eaten since lunch and I might as well get waffles while I'm here.”

“Okay, we’ll see you soon, then. Come straight to Brooke’s house.”

“Okay,” she agreed. “Hey, Em?”

“Yeah?”

There was something else on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed it. “I'm sorry I didn't find anything for you or Brooke while I was at con.”

Relief spread washed over Audrey’s body as she heard Emma’s soft laughter. “I think we can forgive you.”

“Thanks. See you soon.”

Audrey wanted to sink onto the floor and curl up into a ball after she set the receiver back into its hook, ending the call. The only thing that stopped her was the fact that she didn't know what kind of biological nightmare was happening on the linoleum floor of the greasy purgatory that was Waffle House at nine pm, but she was willing to bet it wasn't pretty. She heaved a big sigh and pushed away from the phone, finding a seat in one of the nearby booths.

The same waitress, Tracy, approached a moment later with a menu to offer. “Long night?”

“Something like that.” Audrey took the menu gratefully, like she had any intent on getting something other than waffles.

“Well, it sounds like you've got someone who cares about you,” Tracy told her, smiling gently. “That's something.”

Audrey looked up at the woman, wondering what she did to deserve kind words from a complete stranger. “Yeah, it is. You know, I think I'm just gonna get waffles. And orange juice.”

“Sure thing, kid,” the waitress smiled, jotting the order down. “I'll bring it right out.”

A few minutes later Tracy returned with a stack of waffles and a glass of orange juice, as well as a mug of hot chocolate. “On the house.”

Audrey stared at the mug for several minutes after the waitress left her to herself, because that shitty mug of Swiss Miss powder hot chocolate was possibly the best thing that happened to her all day. She ate her waffles quickly, not wanting to waste more time than necessary, and then paid for her meal at the till. She thanked Tracy one last time and left so she could set out on the road again.

* * *

She swung by a convenience store once she made it into town, picking up Ben & Jerry’s to split between the three of them. Brooke’s favorite was strawberry cheesecake but Audrey never could get behind the lack of chocolate so she picked up a pint of phish food too, especially since she knew Emma would prefer basically anything as long as it had chocolate.

She pulled up to Brooke’s house and knocked, holding her breath until the door swung open. Brooke stood and stared at her for what felt like forever, even though it couldn't have been more than a moment later that Emma appeared next to her.

“You're late,” Emma said, though there was a soft smile on her lips. She was teasing, trying to lighten the mood.

“And you look like shit,” Brooke added, cocking an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, well,” Audrey replied, feeling pretty small from where she stood on the doorstep. “I feel like shit. I stopped for ice cream, though.” She held up her shopping bag, trying a hopeful smile.

“Maybe you're not completely helpless after all, Jensen,” Brooke sighed, finally cracking a fond smile. She looked tired, but not upset or angry. Not anymore, anyway. She reached out for Audrey’s hand, tugging her inside and into the arms of both of them.

After holding each other a necessary several seconds, Brooke dragged her to the couch, and Emma appeared on the other side a moment later with three spoons.

“So it sounds like the con was a bust,” Emma said with a small frown on her lips, waiting for Audrey to pull lids off their ice cream.

“God, what an understatement,” Audrey huffed, handing the strawberry off to Brooke. “Friday was cool, I guess, but today… Today was just weird. Noah spent all day with industry people so I was stuck with Stavo for most of it.”

“You must have loved that,” Brooke smirked. She pensively pressed her tongue to the concave side of the spoon, slowly licking away at the pink ice cream underneath.

“It was… not bad, actually,” she replied, furrowing her brows at her own spoon before shoving it into her mouth. “It was probably the best part of my day, sadly.”

“You know, I never really talked to Stavo until after the trial started,” Emma said, leaning into Audrey a little so she could get to the ice cream in her hands. “But we hung out a few times while you guys were busy at the courthouse. It was nice, actually. He’s a good listener.”

“Yeah, he notices things,” Audrey nodded. She had to admit that her opinions of Stavo had changed, recently. She never had given the guy a chance. “Anyway, Noah was tied up all day and then they had to do the panel, the people there…”

She fell silent, looking down at her spoon and licking chocolate from the corner of her mouth. “It was like it was all fake, to them. Like it was just a book, or whatever. Nevermind that it’s not a secret Noah was there for everything, that it all really happened to us.”

“It’s not real, to them,” Emma prodded gently, setting her hand on Audrey’s knee. “I mean, I kind of envy them. Now that it’s all over they can all rest easy at night. The good guys won.”

“Yeah we did, didn’t we?” Audrey sighed, looking up to look between the two of them. “Still feels like shit a lot. Feels like we lost, sometimes, when it’s like everywhere I look I find some new way they've fucked us over.”

“Well, duh,” Brooke quipped, bumping shoulders with her. “That’s just how it is now when you're in fucking Lakewood. This entire town is like a PTSD horror-a-thon. Just walking outside is basically asking to embark on our own personal Willy Wonka boat ride to hell.”

“God, right,” Emma agreed with a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “Like, it's a good day when I can walk past Riley's locker without thinking of her. Nevermind driving past the bowling alley or the movie theater.”

“I was unconscious for most of that last one,” Brooke pointed out, smirking.

Audrey stared at the wall in front of her, bringing her thumb to her lips so she could clean off a smudge of chocolate that had dripped from the rim. “You know, I didn't think there was a way to make this town somehow worse, but those two managed it. Fuck Lakewood, honestly.”

She heard Brooke release a sigh next to her, and then felt her head on her shoulder. “I am so excited to leave this town and never, ever come back.”

Emma turned to them both. “Agreed. Fuck Lakewood.”

Audrey looked over at her with a trace of a smile on her lips, then held out her spoon in a kind of mock-cheers. Emma raised an eyebrow at her and raised her spoon as well, with Brooke following suit shortly after.

“Plus,” Brooke added, licking the back of her spoon, “things will die down after a few years. Like after the serial killer equivalent of someone driving their Acura into a tree, or whatever. Something awful will happen somewhere else and that'll be the new Lakewood, and most everyone will leave us alone."

“Morbid, but true,” Emma agreed. “It’ll be like that for us, too. At least, I hope so. The idea of living like this forever is…”

“No, Emma,” Audrey shook her head, reaching for Emma’s hand. “It will be. I mean, this year is already better than last year, right? We've already been through the worst shit that can ever happen to us, we literally have no place to go but up."

“Now  _ that  _ I can believe,” Emma sighed. She squeezed Audrey’s hand and leaned against her side again.

Audrey turned to look at Emma, trying to help her lighten up a little. “Like, you haven't gone on a single hallucinatory drug trip this year! That's a plus.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, we still have the first semester of college ahead of us,” Brooke pointed out, her spoon scraping against the bottom of cardboard pint in her hands. “Jake may be dead but the bet he had on when you finally try pot for the first time still stands."

Audrey snorted and turned over to Brooke with a huge grin on her face. “Oh my god.”

“Seriously?” Emma balked, looking scandalized.

“Wait, when do you think she’s gonna cave?” Audrey asked, very seriously. When did this even happen? How much had this bet been for? Had Brooke tried pot? Audrey had so many questions.

“I'm not telling you,” Brooke laughed, shaking her head. “Seriously, though, it'll help a ton to have things to worry about besides like, pointless math tests and whether your girlfriend didn't pick up the phone because she forgot it in her hotel room like a  _ moron _ or because she's had a run in with yet another serial killer.”

“I'm sorry!” Audrey protested, throwing her hands up. “It won't happen again, I swear. I will go and buy an emergency phone so it'll never ever be a problem.”

"No, Audrey,” Emma interjected, biting back a laugh. “That’s ridiculous, just don't forget your phone."

Brooke shrugged. “Fuck that, I'll buy it for you.”

“If she lost her first phone why wouldn't she lose the second one?” Emma pointed out, shaking her head at Brooke from across Audrey's lap.

"Okay,  _ first _ of all, there were extenuating circumstances,” Audrey argued, holding up her pointer finger at both of them. “And second, this would be the emergency phone. I wouldn't take it anywhere, so it would stay safe.”

“Then how do you expect to use it?” Emma pointed out, eyebrows raised. “That completely defeats the purpose.”

“You know what, okay, fine,” Audrey huffed, her cheeks pink from all the teasing. She'd never really cared for teasing before it started coming from them. “I'll just carry rolls of quarters with me wherever I go so I can call you on a Waffle House payphone in emergencies, is that acceptable?”

“Probably,” Brooke sighed, smiling as she reached for Audrey’s hand. “You know, FEMA uses Waffle Houses to measure how bad natural disasters are, so you can pretty much bet they'll always be open.”

Audrey blinked at Brooke, a bemused smile on her face. “Where do you learn this shit?”

“What, I heard about it on Mythbusters once.”

“Uh huh,” Emma chuckled, finding Audrey's free hand again. She leaned her head against Audrey’s shoulder and sighed. “Honestly, I'm kind of glad you decided to come home early, Audrey.”

“Yeah?” Audrey smiled, squeezing both their hands.

“Any hiccups aside,” Brooke added, turning a little so she could curl into Audrey’s side. “I am too. I'm happy you're home safe. We kinda missed you.”

“God, I missed you too,” Audrey replied, leaning her head against the top of Emma’s. “I mean Noah and Stavo are cool and all but it's just not the same.”

“I can't even imagine sharing a room with them,” Brooke said, scrunching her nose. “What was  _ that _ like?”

“Fuck, it was  _ so weird!” _ Audrey laughed, still holding onto the both of them.

She spent the rest of the night telling them about the trip and every weird detail she could remember about the con and staying with Noah and Stavo. Eventually they made it upstairs, and Audrey was grateful for both the change in bed and company compared to the night before.


End file.
